Weight loss again

[Alecto_on_LCD]

D103. No access to scales yesterday and today but ive been really on track following that one blip on wednesday. Heading home now, cannot wait to get back to my partner, kitties and own things. 1 exante thus far and another shake in my backpack.

 

[Alecto_on_LCD]

D104. 64kg. Thats an odd upwards WI. Wonder if its still by from my blip on Wednesday or just lack of sleep; i have also been a bit constipated over the past 3 days - travelling and stress do that to me. I have moved a lot more this week and have been on plan otherwise. Dont know but its interesting. Will plod along and see if/how it changes in the next few days.

 

[MISSLSR]

You will see that drop no probs once you are home and settled.

Once you get back to a normal schedule you will be fine.

Dxxx

 

[Alecto_on_LCD]

D105. 63.8kg
I thought id do a little calculation exercise yesterday. Its funny how ever since i hit the healthy BMI my weight on a daily basis seems to go: whoosh down- then up- then sloooowly down- then whoosh again and then the whole cycle gets repeated. The whooshes dont seem to happen on a weekly basis they're quite random, sometimes overnight...so i am happy im WI everyday to help me see these trends.
Nonetheless i used the calculators online to estimate my body composition (given i dont have calipers nor access to DEXAs). I said i wont be doing measurements often. Here are my measurements from yesterday (6th october) versus 28th July:
Neck 34cm (1cm down)
Chest 93cm (2cm down; boobs are on a downward journey but they're mass is constant. Not surprised as ive been like this all my life but need soon - i have a plan- to save that part of my body as i like it)
Waist 74 cm (8cm down!!!!)
Hips 94cm (14cm down!!!!)
The body composition estimates left me in awe... Body fat mass 16.8kg (from 25.4kg), lean mass 47.2kg (from 44.1kg). Thats what i want - fat down, muscle preserved and going up.
By body fat is at 26.2% putting me in the average range rather than obese where i was. Yay!
Based on all these and other measurements and my laziest day steps since ive had my fitbit i estimated my BMR - i need 1415 calories only for my basic bodily functions.
My TDEE (daily calorie needs moving around as the sedentary person i am) i need 1698calories.
If i were to only aim for a 500cal deficit daily id need to consume 1198 (lets round up to 1200cals)
What im doing now averaging 700cals per week comes at 1000cals deficit. Good. I needed these calculations. It tells me that whatever happens daily on the scales no longer matters as much as me just plodding along as i have as Ive been doing well. Carry on.
-----
Only had my first meal of the day at 5pm. Oops. Rounding up a good TS day but i am having my last 2 meals in one in about 30minutes. Did a lot of gardening today (needed to be done asap as temperature yesterday night was 4 degrees and my veg started to suffer!). So we put the greenhouse up and I wanted to clean all my plants and rake the fallen leaves to make our patio nice. The bad part of a successful gardening and housekeeping day is that i was ought to work and this puts me behind and stressed about the upcoming week in that sense. So need to learn how to chill. One day. Still 8000steps thus far (will probs get more in during the evening - edit: i did 11k steps now for almost 10pm) but all i want to do now is chill. In my new Harry Potter pjs and bunny slippers. Coz thats how i roll. Forgot to say - been to a gig with friends last night (The Coral ) and it was awesome (it was very good when they went all mad instrumental but i did prefer the supporting bands as they were a bit heavier and with more message; i do tend to find the coral a bit tra-la, but thats coming from someone who is very metal/alt rock minded) and especially was the designated driver hence no drinks. Yday was awesome for steps (all that dancing) and food (none of lol). 2 more gigs coming soon. Yay. Im keeping to gig-ing like this, as i like it. Additional bonus to non-hangover Sunday morning & weight loss and break for my liver is that i can give people lifts and i like that

 

[Alecto_on_LCD]

D106 and 107.
Yeaterday 64.8 and today 64.3. Massive increase for some odd reason. Not sure why but ill just keep going. My body is holding on to something...my leg muscles are in some pain from the very active gardening session and squash yesterday - maybe its to do with that...

 

[MISSLSR]

Just keep at it and it will go back down.

Dxxx

 

[Alecto_on_LCD]

Im not doing too well. Im struggling generally and specifically to keep focused and in control. Stressed out of my mind and thats putting pressures at home also. Juggling all my responsibilities and stuff is a bit tricky atm. Im pondering taking a break from posting for a little until i regroup. Ill say if i decide that. I find it hard juggling all the new stuff on my plate. Also there dont seem to be many around me who get what my juggling act is about. Diet, trying not to drink, work & failures, getting back on the horse there, extra work and networking for career with related travels, teaching and certifications there, house chores, finding time for myself, finding time for hobbies, managing friends, managing partner, passport beaurocracy and related travels, continuing to take care of my health with counselling sessions no one knows about, fitting in exercise or at least extra steps. Feels a bit much atm. And each of these need planning on their own terms. I wont break diet. All im saying its im not gonna be as perfect as i wanted it to be this month, sadly. Something needs to give. My seeking perfection atm needs to go. Ill find some ways to get reorganized
****edit: yes. Im pausing for a few days. Im just overwhelmed and dont known what do to first. Will continue the day counting when back.

 

[MISSLSR]

I say just keep posting, that is what I am aiming to do so that we can all be there for the ups and downs with each other.

If you think it is best to stay away though you go for it and we will be here when you return.

It is hard trying to juggle it all isn't it.

Just try to break it all down into more manageable chinks.

Write lists with all your goals then try to think about how you can make it all work.

Might not work for you but at least its something you can try.

Dxxx

 

[Zedular]

Hope you're OK Alecto. I've been off here for a bit too. Work and family taking over. Still plodding along though but posting was just becoming another thing on the list. Look after yourself and come back here for some hugs if you need it xxx

 

[Alecto_on_LCD]

I say just keep posting, that is what I am aiming to do so that we can all be there for the ups and downs with each other.

If you think it is best to stay away though you go for it and we will be here when you return.

It is hard trying to juggle it all isn't it.

Just try to break it all down into more manageable chinks.

Write lists with all your goals then try to think about how you can make it all work.

Might not work for you but at least its something you can try.

Dxxx

For you and @Zedular
Ill be back; and im still reading your stuff as it keeps me motivated and going. Ill update later how ive coped. Unpredictable stuff happen all the time in my work field. V complex story unnecessary here. Not giving up tho. Need to find a new way to address my anxieties that then link to unhealthy behaviours. Been doing a lot of cbt on myself and shall continue. I shall be back shortly - in maintenance range or over. Dont care at the moment which one it is as long as when i return its for the home run altogether. It seems thay addressing the stuff thats gotten me so so overweight are altogether happening again - hence i need to sort out better coping mechanisms NOW. And that takes time and patience. And im giving myself that. Its more complex/complicated and i can see a lot better now whete diets go downwards when related to personal social contexts and personal coping mechanisms. To succeed i need to take a step back atm. Ill set a restart date. I just need 7 days of calm to kick me back in shape. 7 days of calm...blimey, sounds like a fairy tale atm. Ive got 13 goals each with their own plan, honest its all broken down. But there's more to it. 13 points....jeeeze...depends on how you look on stuff doesnt it - thats why weight loss/behavioural change (!note this last one) are so difficult and personal. Ill be writing in my personal diary for a while. I need that.
Ps. Weight loss goals wise (altho my stats on scales havent moved) i fit in size 10s. Depending on shop, in some v comfortably, in others vv tightly. Still somewhat to go but its not all that dark as i might make it to seem as i tend to be overly critical.

 

[Alecto_on_LCD]

Hi all. I missed this thread. I missed you guys. A little update from myself and just want to say congratulations to all of you for keeping it going. You all are an inspiration to me and an incentive to keep going.
Food and step wise ive been okay in the last couple of days - kept it at 6-700 and steps more than 10k every day. Alcohol wise, although im under the national limits, for myself and the diet i have been overdoing it but...i decided not to give myself blame for that and take it one day at a time. Still 1kg above my lowest weight in on my stats. And still not ready to commit to a week of TS and no alcohol until the storms blow over.
Beyond the additional recent work pressures I realised Ive overbooked myself socially this week. I am grateful I now have friends and people to go out with... And i cannot fault any of the interactions ive had as each has been so great. But not having done this in a long while, i didnt manage it right. If i dont have restricted me-time i find it hard to plan and concentrate on any of my goals and that's been lacking this and last week. Im a highly introvert person with a bit of social anxiety. I dont seem it in person as ive learnt to hide it but i am really boiling with anxiety on the inside. Hence the alcohol. I am learning now how to space out these interactions as if i have only 1 or 2 a week i find that less anxiety provoking and manageable and thus i have a few evenings to regroup in my own little space that i cherish so much.
My mum is also coming to visit next week (talk about bad planning!) and dinner with friends the night before. I think for most people these events may be cheerful and a source of energy. For me...i enjoy them in the moment (and now im proving to myself every day that they are non threatening situations) but i am super anxious before them. Well - my mum is a different story, im learning friends are fine but mum is not so much. Once that is done ill probs have my 1 week restart. And from this week onwards i no longer commit to any plans for at least 24hrs to give me time to check and recheck my diary to make sure im not as overwhelmed as Ive felt (i.e. if i feel like i dont have time to have a long shower or a shower at all, that means I am overwhelmed with bad planning). Ive replanned my work also to ensure the overwhelmed thing is reduced, explained and discussed with my partner (ie. Until 4th Dec i just get space apart from preplanned max 1 and a half weekend time and our anniversary which will be extra). This will ensure i give myself time to get back on track to do my work and the home run. Im learning how to manage my time and anxieties to maintain - yay (although i expect that will still need adjustint). Im still drinking more alcohol than id want per week (which is zero) - boo!

 

[Alecto_on_LCD]

Ps. Beyond this personal stuff influencing my diet, finding a good balance of normal food and exante within 600-800cals had proven a bit of a challenge. I've seen myself trying 600/Ts and it works to bring me back to keto but its unsustainable for more than 1 week if my steps are over 10k daily. Raising it to 7-800 is more do able so I have been switching between 6 to 800cals depending on my steps. Id love to start incorporating weights or more active stuff in a sense (i miss it) but - a. Thats another plan in itself that needs careful ongoing tweaking as its no longer automatic for me b. Doing that ad im feeling right now will be counterproductive as ill feel even more overwhelmed, c. Working on fat loss and muscle build up at the same time goes towards zero or gain (altho you may be losing fat) and as im feeling quite anxiety prone atm that would also be counterproductive. Hence im sticking to getting to goal and then bringing in lean mass/toning training.

 

[Alecto_on_LCD]

Back to the 63.5kg so I've lost a total of 1.7kg this past week, bringing me back to where I was. Still taking it one day at a time with great care and compassion. The storm is not yet over.

 

[Alecto_on_LCD]

Trying to get back on it in a balanced exante +normal food + exercise way depending on my days. Can be more difficult than one may think in many ways. 15k steps today including exercise, 3l water thus far, 500cals in based on 1 exante and 1 salad from work salad bar (really wanted lettuce and 2 slices of beetroot; the latter did my day!) and still calculating my dinner which is most likely 1 egg, pepper, a few cherry tomatoes and meat/cheese as calories and macros allow. Sliding slowly into eating normal food without panicking. Weird, aye? Work wise - pressure is blimey on. Its unfortunate we have friends AND my mum over during the next few days. Stems from the bad planning 2 months ago still... Doing better in NOT planning stuff as yet for the next weeks/months minus Xmas.

 

[Alecto_on_LCD]

Ps. The 1st day/week i feel im on a roll again for the home-run i will post it. I do have however my home worksheet plus apps logging my daily weights/foods etc. I just feel its just another thing on my "to do list" unless i genuinely feel like posting and 99% of the time im feeling ashamed as how "off plan" i am....trying to not feel either of the latter but... If anyone is ever feeling like i am....one day i will have some wisdom to share. Today i do not.

 

[MrsE13]

Your doing so well, the number is slowly going down and closer to goal. Do you see yourself doing this until you hit goal?
My friend did Exante and once she hit a healthy weight she struggled to lose anymore. In the end she upped her calories and ended up dropping the last 10lbs that way. Crazy really, as science would say a lower deficit (Exante) should get you there quicker.

 

[Alecto_on_LCD]

Im still around and okay. Been averaging on 800cals per day but no longer in keto. My appetite is supressed and 99% of time dont want unhealthy things (ie chips) but i have had the odd boiled/baked potato (i have been given larger potatoes by the cafe lady and i could only have half and threw away the rest - i constantly used to "eat all off my plate" and im not doing that any longer - wow?). But this intake stil puts my carbs/glyco higher up. Other than that, and infrequnetly, max once every fortnight, ive been sticking to exante and keto food (things like bacon, eggs, spinach/lettuce). V Unhealthy wise ive had 2 blowouts which resumed to some nuts and 1 slice of bread at one time; another time it was a slice of bread only (w butter/ham/lettuce). My blowouts as i call them are becoming smaller and healthier despite the stress im under atm. Having 1 slice of bread vs half a loaf is a good thing, right? We all have our thingies - for some its chocolate. Im not a sweet tooth and dont eat crisps...bread butter and processed meat tho - my absolute killer!
Weight wise...im only maintaining. Which is good but crazy to think im maintaining when on an average of 800cals and doing a lot of steps. Could start running again or join classes but at this very moment time doesnt allow it - hence keeping on top of diet is most important. Ill tell you why i think im merely maintaining - been drinking alcohol and together with the carbs im just retaining water. A lot of! My v high weight-ins are going down slowly (i.e. if you weight in daily you calculate the difference between the highest high and lowest lows on a weekly basis to give you the trend). Its all still going down just super slow. Hence things are still moving. Ill do better soon on that front and once i do, i know that my pounds will just come down easily. I just need to have the relaxed/non-blaming time to do it.... Im not yet back to old behaviours and not overdoing it on any aspect. Im just not as "perfect" as id want to be and im trying to accept that atm. All I'm wishing for nowadays is just 1 week of no social interaction, no social awkwardness and additional chores post 6pm after a 10hours day of work, to just focus on myself. And beating myself that im not doing 12hrs work while im doing 10 given current pressures. Soon! Very soon. Ive cancelled many social events and replanned some already. Im preparing my context. I need my home-run... Just need to get through this week mentally and then im building a little den on Sunday (my partner is the only one allowed in!) with no phone, no need to plan and liaise, and no people in my mind-den for a while in my free time (i.e. apart from work, infrequently - puttin a stop to that interaction after any 10hours of me being active with them).
Ive learned for myself that the stuff im going through right now are vv similar to the triggers that got me in the high weight to begin with. I could be doing better to lose again but putting a pause on that is actually beneficial! If i can (and am successfully) maintainting during rough times of deadlines and temporary social pressures then im on a better path to maintenance than i ever was. Im not losing atm much which is sad but ive taken that out of the equation atm... But I'm wanting to say and yell (!) that i give myself credit for maintaining and being able to wear my size 10 shirts (and i fit in my old skirts!!) in my current public events and i look....nice?! Wow(i feel almost ashamed saying it). That is massive, tho, no? Not massive on the scales maybe but I have to recognise i have done a bit and will do more once time is right. Just need to balance it out and stay where i am atm - how hard can that be, aye? Harder than youd think as not all thoughts and patterns are resolved!

 

[Freefall]

Hope you do not mind me commenting, I have been maintaining for a while. It’s worth remembering that with this diet you owe a few lbs that is food that you would normally have in your system. It’s the lbs that you get on the first week. So STS and small gains are good and the transition to food is working, you are still losing fat but the scales will also add the food.

 

[a_kelpie]

Everything you are doing is massive. I know you can spot some old dangers lurking, but in almost everything you've said there, you have measures and checks and strategies to get through. You can absolutely do this. You are not going to regain. Get through this crazy period and be proud of yourself xx

 

[Alecto_on_LCD]

Thanks guys your replies mean a lot to me.
@MrsE13 I am thinking to do at least 3 days a week TS once I get my head back in the game. Ideally I would've wanted to start exercising more but my time doenst allow that atm. But yeah I can see that losing on TS becomes more difficult once in healthy BMI and actually some extra food and movement are beneficial.
@Freefall thank you for saying that - it does put my mind at ease a bit. While i still have pretty good daily calorie deficits (min 500 cals) I do need to remember the food stays a bit longer in my system especially if I've had carbs.
@a_kelpie indeed you are right. It's good im handling my triggers. I would love to get back to doing proper exante for a while though but that can wait until I am ready.
Crazy week almost over - the end is in sight. I've reorganised my time for the coming weeks considerably to be able to only focus on work and diet.