¡¡ʎǝuɹnoɾ s,ǝpuolqǝǝzʇıp - same old, same old!

[clarri]

Obviously extremely busy enjoying day off!!!
xx

 

[ditzeeblonde]

Hi Guys....

Yes Clarri its been a very busy day off had swimming with Aj this morning & just back from Jakeys sports day.

I need some help people... I'm struggling with Amalie at the mo, she's refusing to do things like sleep, swim this morning & having complete meltdowns, she's just Mummy, Mummy, Mummy all the time & very whingy whiney.... I'm guessing all the build up to finishing preschool & starting school, the excitement of her birthday & end of termitus is hitting hard!

I just feel like such a crap mother, I can't help her coz I don't know whats wrong, I feel like all I do is snap or tell her off, she can't communicate coz she's still only 3 & I feel like the worst mother in the world coz I just can't make it better for her!

I'm in tears as I'm writing this as I don't really know what to do & how to make everything ok for her, I guess its just one of those stages but I wish she could tell me what the matter is.

Her eating has become appalling again & everything from food, bed etc etc seems like its always a battle.... it won't help that I'm shattered right now so its all heightened & thats why I feel emotional!

Have eaten crap today coz I've been feeling so low about it all & now beating myself up over that!!!

 

[clarri]

Oh Sweetheart,
Your post has made me feel so sad. I know that feeling so well. I have a strong willed lil one, and to be honest, you have to just try and ride it out. Im not saying let her away with it, but have you tried distraction. In that, ask her, what she would like to do?? I know we all want to do stuff with our kids, and feel bad if we dont constantly have entertainment on for them, but sometimes they do just need veg time. Sounds to me like she is tired. Perhaps a day of dvds, and just taking it easy at home, although I know you are working.

Big huge hugs my lovely.
xxx

 

[Leanne1]

Oh good lord! You most certainly aren't a bad mum! You are tired and little ones pick up on that. Put that together with the looming new school and also some hot weather and you'll a child whinging at olympic levels.
Do you know any children that will be in her new class? Perhaps a few play dates with them over the summer would lessen the impact. That little reasurance that she will already have friends there might really help things along.
You are absolutely lovely so chin up and have a nice evening.

 

[LVLLM]

OMG you are not a crap mother one of the best ive ever seen - the way are with are your kids. you are amazing.
She is probably confused and worried about leaving school and starting somewhere else and as you say wont know how to communicate this. If she is tired she is going to be more whingy and clingy.
how is she with her dad?

When does she finish school?

 

[ditzeeblonde]

Oh Sweetheart,
Your post has made me feel so sad. I know that feeling so well. I have a strong willed lil one, and to be honest, you have to just try and ride it out. Im not saying let her away with it, but have you tried distraction. In that, ask her, what she would like to do?? I know we all want to do stuff with our kids, and feel bad if we dont constantly have entertainment on for them, but sometimes they do just need veg time. Sounds to me like she is tired. Perhaps a day of dvds, and just taking it easy at home, although I know you are working.

Big huge hugs my lovely.
xxx

Thanks hun... I do think alot is tiredness & that perhaps we do have too much crammed into our lives & I need to work in some down time for her, she seems quite happy with the tv on & sitting at the table drawing. I'm wondering if starting the wind time to bed earlier may help? She's not going to sleep til 9pm although she goes up at 1830, so do you think bringing bedtime forward & mixing it up a bit might help her get off to sleep.

I feel bad for expecting so much of her when she is still 3 but I can't slow down the fact that school is starting in less than 2 months time. Think I'm also a bit emotional coz my baby is off to school & this is really the start of them needing you less & less which is great but also so very sad. x

You know how it is... you love your kids more than you ever thought it was possible to love anyone & the fact that they hurt & you can't heal it, is just so heartbreaking. xx

 

[ditzeeblonde]

Oh good lord! You most certainly aren't a bad mum! You are tired and little ones pick up on that. Put that together with the looming new school and also some hot weather and you'll a child whinging at olympic levels.
Do you know any children that will be in her new class? Perhaps a few play dates with them over the summer would lessen the impact. That little reasurance that she will already have friends there might really help things along.
You are absolutely lovely so chin up and have a nice evening.

Thanks Leanne... all of her preschool go over to the school so its all of her friends which is good... I'm only assuming this is part of the issue as she doesn't talk about anything. We have a morning at school tomorrow with disposable cameras so they can take pictures of their new classroom, teacher (anything they want to) then we'll make it into a scrapbook & add some pictures from home so that she has pictures of both together in one book as a connection between the 2. I'm thinking a long hot soak in the bath with a glass of red, then into bed with Lord Sugar for the Apprentice is my plan of attack tonight!

OMG you are not a crap mother one of the best ive ever seen - the way are with are your kids. you are amazing.
She is probably confused and worried about leaving school and starting somewhere else and as you say wont know how to communicate this. If she is tired she is going to be more whingy and clingy.
how is she with her dad?

When does she finish school?

OH babes... I wish I was like you think I am!! She finishes school next Friday with a big leavers picnic for them & presentation of their new school book bags.

She's very much the same with Paul, only he only has it for maybe an hour of the day & if he's putting her to bed she wants me & vice versa.

Thanks everyone... it would seem that I need to sort out the sleep issue (for borth of us) then other things will be easier for both of us to cope with!

Thank you so much. xx

 

[ladyfelsham]

you love your kids more than you ever thought it was possible to love anyone & the fact that they hurt & you can't heal it, is just so heartbreaking. xx

Oh Linz my love, you've got me in tears, it always moves me so much to hear such deep felt love expressed.

I know for a fact that you are one of the most caring and loving people I've ever met, and you obviously dote on your kids and shower them with all the love you have. I can't talk with any authority, being bratless myself, but I guess there are just going to be times when these little bundles of developing personality don't care if you're tired and kick up bigtime. It's in your JD as a parent - and no self help book has the answer.

I drove my mum mad when I was five - refused to eat anything for weeks except fruit and had MAJOR tantrums when she tried anything else - she told me later it was one of the hardest times of her life and she was at her wit's end. But the point is that it passed. I became a trial to her in other ways by refusing to get married and have kids of my own - but that's another story

Enjoy Lord Sugar (if you're very good, one day I'll tell you the story of when I met him), have a good night's sleep, and get some energy in you so you can be ready for the next little behavioural development.

Love you xxxxxxx

 

[clarri]

This sounds critical, but Macy is 11 and goes to bed at 9, so really, a nearly 4 year old needs a hell of a lot more sleep... my niece who is 4 goes at 7, wind down starts, as you say, 6.30. Of course, when you are busy, this isnt always possible, but I do think that little uns really need that extra sleep. Hun, you are a wonderful mother, and certainly dont feel bad for feeling bad IYKWIM. Tomorrow is another day, and we are all totally human (well some of us more than others!!!! ). Its a "phase" but certainly sounds like a tiredness phase.

Big hugs again.
xxx

 

[ditzeeblonde]

Oh Linz my love, you've got me in tears, it always moves me so much to hear such deep felt love expressed.

I know for a fact that you are one of the most caring and loving people I've ever met, and you obviously dote on your kids and shower them with all the love you have. I can't talk with any authority, being bratless myself, but I guess there are just going to be times when these little bundles of developing personality don't care if you're tired and kick up bigtime. It's in your JD as a parent - and no self help book has the answer.

I drove my mum mad when I was five - refused to eat anything for weeks except fruit and had MAJOR tantrums when she tried anything else - she told me later it was one of the hardest times of her life and she was at her wit's end. But the point is that it passed. I became a trial to her in other ways by refusing to get married and have kids of my own - but that's another story

Enjoy Lord Sugar (if you're very good, one day I'll tell you the story of when I met him), have a good night's sleep, and get some energy in you so you can be ready for the next little behavioural development.

Love you xxxxxxx

Well at least you were eating fruit Suze....

I promise to be very good, as long as you don;t count the pack of malted milk, Pimms, red wine & curry that has passed my lips today, so please tell me about Lord S. xx

So tried something a little different, mainly b'coz I was starting to lose the plot, ran a bath for Amalie at 1700 & filled it with lavendar bubble bath, got in with her & we had a good chat about things, she said that she was excited about big school & that she loves Miss Debenham (her teacher), Jacob then came up & I swapped the bath with him as I was freezing! Got them out & applied some sleep balm to her temples, got her in her nightie & we went downstairs for half an hour of bedtime tv with warm milk & biscuits, then I took her upstairs red her a story & put on her meditation CD & she let me leave the room with no fuss & was fast asleep by 1830....

I think maybe she's been going past the point of sleepiness & that we need to get her up & into her bed routine earlier like I did tonight & keep my fingers crossed that she won't wake at 0400!!

Food has not been good today, see above! But tbh I don't give a toss right now, I haven't lost for ages (apart from this weekend while eating & drinking tutt & its gone straight back on) so I'm taking myself off the diet wagon for a bit, need to not eat a pack of biscuits a day mind & enjoy some food while keeping an eye daily on my weight!

 

[ditzeeblonde]

This sounds critical, but Macy is 11 and goes to bed at 9, so really, a nearly 4 year old needs a hell of a lot more sleep... my niece who is 4 goes at 7, wind down starts, as you say, 6.30. Of course, when you are busy, this isnt always possible, but I do think that little uns really need that extra sleep. Hun, you are a wonderful mother, and certainly dont feel bad for feeling bad IYKWIM. Tomorrow is another day, and we are all totally human (well some of us more than others!!!! ). Its a "phase" but certainly sounds like a tiredness phase.

Big hugs again.
xxx

Thanks so much hun... tonight seemed to be better (see above) maybe I just needed friends to sort my head out so I could sort out hers. xx

Mwah. xx

 

[Kat1e]

Hi sweetie, just to say i'm thinking of you and really empathise - i've been there! I think our gorgeous creatures go through enormous changes as they are growing and sometimes you feel like it is an impossible task. My mantra which helps me each time is "this too will pass" - but as you are doing we have to feel like we are trying to help and act. The change in bedtime routine is well worth trying and continuing. You will find new ways to cope. Be kind to yourself- take a break, put your feet up, have a glass of something - whatever makes you feel good. You are a wonderful mummy
Xxxxx

 

[ladyfelsham]

please tell me about Lord S. xx

I set up a speaker's evening at Imperial College and the first one was Lord Sugar of Hackney . He arrived on time, was polite but brusque - 'don't muck me about or gush, I haven't time', kind of thing, which I like.

I then got him coffee and spilled it on his shoe, which he responded to with a raised eyebrow...

He then delivered his speech and got into a great debate with the students (it was whether entrepreneurs are born or made - he was on the side of "born", as you'd expect, we as the training institution were on the side of "made"), and really shot down the ones who were trying to be big men.

He stayed chatting for about 10 minutes - scheduled, I'm sure, spoke to students, then left. A day later his assistant emailed me to say thanks, good experience, like your style, etc.

No nonsense - so very like the man you see.

 

[ditzeeblonde]

Hi sweetie, just to say i'm thinking of you and really empathise - i've been there! I think our gorgeous creatures go through enormous changes as they are growing and sometimes you feel like it is an impossible task. My mantra which helps me each time is "this too will pass" - but as you are doing we have to feel like we are trying to help and act. The change in bedtime routine is well worth trying and continuing. You will find new ways to cope. Be kind to yourself- take a break, put your feet up, have a glass of something - whatever makes you feel good. You are a wonderful mummy
Xxxxx

Awww Katie... you've made me cry (in a good way!) thank you so much for what you've said & the way you've helped, it makes such a difference knowing that I'm not the only one going thru this.

OMG ladies, what on earth would I do without you all? You just lift me when I need it, give me the best advice & are the most amazing bunch of ladies I have ever come across. xxx

 

[Kat1e]

Wow Susie that sounds like it was a fun event!

 

[ditzeeblonde]

I set up a speaker's evening at Imperial College and the first one was Lord Sugar of Hackney . He arrived on time, was polite but brusque - 'don't muck me about or gush, I haven't time', kind of thing, which I like.

I then got him coffee and spilled it on his shoe, which he responded to with a raised eyebrow...

He then delivered his speech and got into a great debate with the students (it was whether entrepreneurs are born or made - he was on the side of "born", as you'd expect, we as the training institution were on the side of "made"), and really shot down the ones who were trying to be big men.

He stayed chatting for about 10 minutes - scheduled, I'm sure, spoke to students, then left. A day later his assistant emailed me to say thanks, good experience, like your style, etc.

No nonsense - so very like the man you see.

Sounds like my kind of guy & very definately someone who you'd like & would very much like you. xx

 

[ladyfelsham]

Nah love I'm full of waffle

He was a million times better than Stelios, who was an arrogant, sexist p*g. Vowed never to fly easyjet ever again after meeting him...

 

[ditzeeblonde]

Yes I thought Stelios was a complete twat everytime I met him. xx

 

[Quak]

Sorry not to have anything useful to add due to my allergy but I can send you loads of hugs and lots of love if it helps xxxxxxxxxxxxx

 

[1974rach]

hey linz,

just popping in to see how amalie was last after the lavender bath (made me sleepy just reading about it - sounds lovely!)

xxx