ProPoints 100lbs to lose - Carriegirl21's Diary

[Carriegirl21]

Fantastic!!! I bet you feel so much better for having slept xxx

I slept again last night!! I could cry with relief!

I had a terrible sleep last night. Actually all week. Maybe I should get some audiobooks too. Do you have them through earphones or just play them in the room while you try to snooze?

I'm knackered today lol...

I put them on my phone & listen to them on headphones till I begin to noddle I could probably play them on speakers though as OH sleeps through anything!

I'd recommend them to anyone - it's the first thing in years that's had a genuine effect

CGx
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[Carriegirl21]

soo glad to hear that you got some sleep! im sure that itll really help you start feeling better all around. you know im pretty sure that there wasnt nearly as many roald dahl books in the US.. you guys probably kept all the good ones for yourself.. though we got Dr Seuss so id say thats a trade, i love dr seuss

Eeeeeeeee! I love Dr.Seuss! Oh I do hope I can find some of those on audio
Yup we got loads & loads of Roald Dahl here - at school it was always the fave to be read

CGx
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[MrsPayne212]

can you believe that the first time i ever owned/finished a roald dahl was the beginning of this year? my OH got me willy wonka and the chocolate factory for xmas last year lol. ooo my fave is fox in socks, and o the places you will go... lol tell me how you manage i would love to get some myself

 

[Carriegirl21]

can you believe that the first time i ever owned/finished a roald dahl was the beginning of this year? my OH got me willy wonka and the chocolate factory for xmas last year lol. ooo my fave is fox in socks, and o the places you will go... lol tell me how you manage i would love to get some myself

Will be badgering OH to look online for them tonight, will let you know if I find anything

CGx
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[azwethinkweiz]

I would tell you where to get em online for "free" but I might get given out to lol...

I love Roald Dahl... brings back nice childhood memories I love reading! Might try audio books... thanks for the suggestion x

 

[Carriegirl21]

I would tell you where to get em online for "free" but I might get given out to lol...

I love Roald Dahl... brings back nice childhood memories I love reading! Might try audio books... thanks for the suggestion x

Well OH gets them on a very good deal *Ahem!*

I'm looking up Dr.Seuss now

CGx
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[Carriegirl21]

I feel like I've gotta make a huge confession tonight even though I shouldn't feel embarassed knowing that this is a safe place to write this stuff.
I keep not wanting to write it down & admit to what I've done but that's the kind of thinking that I need to get over.

I lost the plot. Big time.
It's the 1st time I feel I've really fallen 'off the wagon' since I started this run of ww
Think that's why it's making me feel so guilty.
Turns out I'm still capable of being an utter moron & making the worst decisions possible - I'm so so angry with myself because of having my medical reason to lose weight. I'm putting myself under such a lot of pressure to get this weight off as quick as possible & I'm naturally a very slow loser... but somehow I thought as my reasons were far more serious this time that I would be able to just push all my food issues aside & 'power through', just get the darn job done!
But no. It turns out I'm still human & capable of making mistakes no matter how much It means to me that I don't make them.

I'm having such a terrible few days with general life stuff but also been in intense pain plus I came down with another cold that made my ears hurt like mad. So yeah just feeling really awful physically & mentally hit a downswing & just been really low & tired & moody.
Then I got totm.
Pushed me over the edge & I've eaten like a posessed beast tonight!!
I even went to the shops & grabbed everything I've been wanting - I've been soooo strong at not buying loads of junk but tonight I just couldn't stop - my mind was all over the place & I'm so dissapointed with myself
It doesn't stop there though!
We also got a chinese (why???!)
I've had a strong craving for cashew nuts for weeks but not had them as they are so high in points, which is daft because I should spend my points on healthy snacks like nuts & not random low point bits & bobs - if I'm craving nuts it means my body is screaming for protein or oils right?!
But no I have something daft instead.
Here's the ugly truth - I need to write it down to get it off my mind & so it's not a guilty secret anymore!

Well I had honey roast cashews (totally hit the spot) but hammered the whole bag! 16pp!!!!! A few other salted nuts 2pp
REAL CRISPS! Prawn cocktail walkers 4pp
chinese 20pp
Green&blacks mini ice-cream tub 4pp

Total 46pp.

My brekkie & lunch came to 16pp so I have a daily total of 62pp (gulp)

I'm on 45pp a day so you could say it's just using 17pp but my problem is this:
I went a bit squiffy with my weeklies last week as I sort of used them a day longer than normal - so I carried 18pp weeklies over & used them on Weds but also used 16pp over that! So somehow these 16pp have not been taken out of this weeks weeklies as they happened on weds - now that's just barking!
Who on earth am I fiddling the numbers for?! The scales aren't going to care how carefully I've scribbled it in my notebook!
I've eaten calories - they are in my body & it's done - why am I freaking out about making numbers fit when I've only got to do this for myself?
I really need to be accountable for those extra points I got through cos who am I lying to? Myself?

If I do count the mystery 16pp that I went over last week & take it out of my weeklies plus tonights debacle that leaves me with just 13pp weeklies till Tuesday...
What Have I done?!!

Thank-you if you made it this far - seems I really did need a little self-talking too & vent!

Hope I can see more clearly in the morning & get back my motivation & focus on the reason I'm doing this - I need to get a grip - and I will because I have to but darn this is a really hard patch I'm going through

CGx
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[twinmum07]

Hi

Firstly congratulations on getting some decent sleep at last. I read Roal Dahl to my kids at bedtime and it has a similar effect on me at 7pm too!

Secondly, stop stressing about points. Don't carry over points from last week. What did or didn't happen last week stays in last week, once you weighed in that drew a line under that week. This week isn't doomed - you do still have weeklies left but you maybe just need to be more careful about planning meals for the next few weeks.

I hate nuts but they are such a healthy food it is better to have spend points there than on chocolate which would send you flying up and down. The nuts will have filled you with lovely healthy oils and slow release energy do get out there and use some!

You are on track and you can still have a great week. Look forward to hearing how well you have done on Tuesday after making healthy snack choices

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[MrsPayne212]

I'm sry to hear that you had such a rough time last night .. we all have weak moments, both physically and emotionally. And your in a spot where it seems to be both, which makes it even worse . But you can't let it hold you back. You have to allow yourself to learn from this, and not let it get you so down that you lose hope all together. You can be strong, I know you can.. and whatever your going through, just remember that it'll pass and one day just be a distant memory. Even this moment of weakness will make you stronger. When your sitting on that beach in a teeny bikini, this will just be a story, from you your journey to becoming the you that you love and are happy with. We will all make mistakes and get to points where we are ashamed of ourselves and just want to bury our head in the sand and wish it all away, but its what we do with those moments that will define who we are and who we will become. Don't let your old insecurities that got you where you are today call the shots, its the new 'in control' you that has to take the lead and show yourself that you can do this and you deserve this!
I believe in you, and we can do this together! when I find myself feeling like throwing in the towel, I catch myself saying a little line from a movie called galaxy quest.
"Never give up! Never surrender!"

 

[azwethinkweiz]

Don't think I could say it better than MrsPayne. We all have these moments hon. Even after I've lost almost 3st, I still sometimes have a bad day... We need to carry on regardless and just keep trying our best. We ARE only human... You can do this hon... Don't let these setbacks stop ya sending hugs (((((hugs))))) xx

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[VeggieAnna]

Carrie, you had a little blip, we all have them! and it honestly wasn't that bad, the way you were talking i thought you were gonna say you'd eaten a 100pp or something! Important thing is you did it and now you wish you didn't- just try and learn from it for next time We won't let you give up lady, plus i need you for veggie ideas! hugsxxxxxxxx

 

[MrsLmc]

Aww Carrie I'm sorry you are feeling so so low. But cut yourself a little slack. Your blow out really wasn't that bad and if you look at everyones diaries you'll find we are all the same, its human nature to have the odd craving and unexplained hunger, even the skinniest and healthiest of people do it. I know it won't make you feel any better that others do it but it does show you are not alone. Fair play to you for writing it down, I could see it was very hard for you! Just write off all the weeklies, stick to your dailies and I'd say you'll get a loss on weigh day. Sometimes a blow out can really give the motabolism a good jolt!

Please look after yourself and don't be too hard on yourself. Everyone is here for you xx (((((((hugs)))))) xx

 

[MrsPayne212]

Hey lady! Hope youre feeling better today! Keep your chin up

 

[twinmum07]

Hey Carrie

How is the rest of your week going? Hope you have had a lovely weekend

 

[CarlyLanky140]

Glad u are sleeping better! It was one blow out it's done and out of system move on poppet! U are doing so well! Try not to put too much pressure on and treat urself every stone ;D hugs xx

 

[Carriegirl21]

Thanks so much for the support everyone, you guys are awesome!

I'm still totally stressed out food-wise, think I would have been better off not taking my 'over-weeklies' from last week out of this weeks as honestly it's been a nightmare! I've been trying to save on points left, right & centre & have been utterly obsessed & miserable - not a positive, healthy way to deal with my blow-out!
I'm still struggling with how to handle it - I've got myself so caught up in 'the plan' when I should be concentrating on why & how this happened and my reasons for doing ww in the first place.
I know this will pass but it seems like every Totm I feel like I can't cope all of a sudden!
I hope that I can get some good loses between this one & the next as then I'll feel a little more able to accept that it's a time when I may go outside the plan a little & NOT punish myself like I have this week
I'm annoyed that I let it go this far & didn't just write that day off, Keep my weeklies (in their right weeks!) And accept any slight gain that would come from it - but I would of kept my sanity!!
Well that is what I will aim to do if it happens again next month.

Like I've said before - giving up is not an option!

*I need to chill-out on trying to force it to happen quickly & accept my sluggish body as it WILL happen eventually!

*I need to get some consistent exercising going on (probably the most important thing!)

*I need to stop thinking of foods as 'bad' as this is what brings the guilt when I eat them. Everything in moderation is what I would tell others, I need to take my own advice.

Finally my positives!

1. Got up early even though in pain & ill & got everything on my to-do list done!

2. Second night in a row that I didn't add a Warby Wrap to my dinner - really don't need it, was really full without it!

3. Counted.... yes... counted my 10 cashew nuts out for 2pp instead of demolishing another whole bag like Thursday

Ok, night all! Off to listen to my audio book, fingers crossed for a sleepy night

CGx
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[MrsLmc]

Hope you get a good night sleep sweetie.

Definately no carrying over owing points again!!! Every week is fresh and a new start lol. Its great we can give this advice to others and canny apply it to ourselves!! xxx

 

[Carriegirl21]

My 500th post! Thanks to you all

I wish there was a way of using the 'thanks' button through the mobile site/app - I only get to thank people if I go on the pc which isn't very often!
Don't want you all to think I'm being ungrateful so here's a huge THANKS! To everyone who's supported me on this board, y'all Rule!

CGx
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[anj_i_am]

Carrie, you are doing great things. You have a really strong motivation for change and that's really important for staying on the wagon.

I am with you on the exercise thing. I go walking sometimes, or for a.swim or badminton or even the wii fit. But its not regular. So, yesterday i decided that i am going to start that c25k thing (after my bday in 3 weeks, can't face it til then). I think i like the idea of sticking in my headphones and going and its only 20 mins 3 times a week. Or something. Lol. I might start a group on here actually - see if anyone else wants to join in with me...... I've never really tried running before and i will probably hate it. I think its important to choose an exercise that you love.... Maybe you want to join me in my 5k quest?

10 cashews for 2pp..... I am going to have to get me some of that. I looooove cashews. Nom!

Keep up the good work chick. All here if you need us! xxxx

 

[Michillinwoman]

Carrie , the main thing is not to panic over a blip . It happens to everyone at some stage. Just nip it in the bud now and put it behind you and put in a few good days and it will be a distant memory . Learning to have patience with your weight loss and with yourself is half the battle