ProPoints 100lbs to lose - Carriegirl21's Diary

you sound like your getting yourself back in a positive mind about everything :) im so proud of you girly! i know that if you keep working at it, by next totm youll definitely be able to cope and even handle to ravings a lot better. im betting youll get a good loss in the weeks to come as well :D. when is your next weigh in?
 
I think my head may explode.
The scales are showing a wopping 3lb gain.
I can't get my head around it.
Even with my 'blow out' I still stayed within my weeklies - I know I don't deserve a 3lb gain!!
I had a massive cry about it to OH bless him he's just so supportive :'(
I tell you something though - if I had the option of giving up this would make me do it.
I don't have that option which is the only thing keeping me going - I am so so confused & exasperated!
No matter how hard I try I'm still losing & then gaining back the same 4lbs!
Seeing as I'm so close to the start of my journey I'm finding it utterly depressing & my hope is flying out of the window.
I don't even want to write this next line...

I'm the same weight I was 2months ago.

I just keep losing & gaining, losing & gaining... & never making progress beyond that point.

I hate using so much of my time thinking about this when I've got so many other things to be concentrating on also!

The only hope I have, and the only thing I can see that I can change is just to do a load more exercise :(
Hope the weather will finally cool down so I will not have the heat as a reason not to.

Got to cut this short - I've got a thoroughly terrifying appointment with a 'noggin doctor' about my anxiety & panic problems - this is going to be one intensly harsh day :'(

Thanks for all your support again lovelies

CGx
Sent from my HTC Wildfire using MiniMins
 
Carriegirl21 said:
I think my head may explode.
The scales are showing a wopping 3lb gain.
I can't get my head around it.
Even with my 'blow out' I still stayed within my weeklies - I know I don't deserve a 3lb gain!!
I had a massive cry about it to OH bless him he's just so supportive :'(
I tell you something though - if I had the option of giving up this would make me do it.
I don't have that option which is the only thing keeping me going - I am so so confused & exasperated!
No matter how hard I try I'm still losing & then gaining back the same 4lbs!
Seeing as I'm so close to the start of my journey I'm finding it utterly depressing & my hope is flying out of the window.
I don't even want to write this next line...

I'm the same weight I was 2months ago.

I just keep losing & gaining, losing & gaining... & never making progress beyond that point.

I hate using so much of my time thinking about this when I've got so many other things to be concentrating on also!

The only hope I have, and the only thing I can see that I can change is just to do a load more exercise :(
Hope the weather will finally cool down so I will not have the heat as a reason not to.

Got to cut this short - I've got a thoroughly terrifying appointment with a 'noggin doctor' about my anxiety & panic problems - this is going to be one intensly harsh day :'(

Thanks for all your support again lovelies

CGx
Sent from my HTC Wildfire using MiniMins
Click to expand...


im so sry to hear about how down this is all making you :(. dont let yourself get discouraged honey please. i know right now that it doesnt seem like much comfort, but being the same as you were is better having gained more in that time. maybe this just isnt the right diet for you. you need to find a diet and exercise routine that works with your body, and i have every confidence that there is one out there. and always remember that you dont want to over do it. itll just turn into a bit rebound once you let up.
you are a strong woman, and it sounds like you have an OH that will stick through it with you and help you through whatever struggles come along.
one of the things that keeps me going is thinking that one day im gonna have to do this. i tried last year and gave up and now im 30lbs more that i weighed then.. thats that much more time its gonna take me to get to my goal. if i find what helps me then by this time next year i can be a whole different person.
you WILL find what works for YOU. dont forget that there a tons of people on here that are using loads of different diets that work for them. last year i had chicken and veg every dinner for a month.. sooo boring! and i was exercising with a very boring workout, and only lost about 3lbs in all and then lost interest and gave up.
and the inspirational slide on here helps me a lot as well. it shows me that so many different people can do it, and all of them are here to help me if i need it. and one day I want to be on there and inspire someone the way they have me. and you know what youre gonna be on there with me! i know you can do this.
and if youre having trouble with the anxiety and depression, this docs appt today might be just the thing you need. worrying and stressing yourself out isnt going to help youre weight loss either. you will get over this rough patch sweetie. i know it with all of my heart. and you can know that you will always have people here that you can come to for help and support whenever you need it. we are all rooting for you and know that you are strong and you can make it through, even if you arent so sure sometimes.
lots of love and hugs lady!
 
Aw Carrie big hugs
I can so sympathise with how yr feeling and know that no matter what is said won't take away how yr feeling right now. You have lovely support from yr oh which does help and of course all of us on here who are sharing yr journey and wishing you along.

All I can say is just keep trying as the positive is at least you have only put on the same 4lb and not gained loads which would happen if you stopped trying altogether.

Be strong Carrie x x x
 
(((((hugs)))))

I definitely know how that whole thing of feeling like your weight and diet is taking over your life and being all consuming feels and how frustrating it is when you feel like its one step forward and two steps back.

Have you given any more thought to doing the WW meetings? I really do think it will help you on those occassions when you blip and can't get your head away from the panic and guilt it brings - I swear I would never have stuck to this this long without my meetings and I totally go off the rails mentally whenever I miss a week. I don't know how my leader does it but she really helps me bring my head back into putting things into perspective so I feel like I regain control again more quickly without letting the one blip snowball. Plus the support you'll get from other people going through the same thing might be enough to take the pressure off a little bit. And finally if you are sticking to it and its still not working your leader should be able to help go through your tracker with you to see if they can work out the problem.

From there if you are sticking to the plan and you are still just going up and down then they can verify it to the doctors so they can start checking to see if there's any other underlying reason as to why its not working for you.

As for the weight gain I know its really easy to say try not to let it worry you as there's a good chance its water gain etc etc and within a couple of days may be back off again but I also now it won't make you feel any better about it - I'm all very good telling other people all the stuff that we all know deep down but so rubbish at actually following the advice myself! Just know that there are LOADS of people on here who do understand how it feels and are all here supporting you and ready and waiting to help you through this little blip in any way you need.

Hope the doctor went ok and that you start to feel better with everything soon - you WILL get there xxxx
 
Carrie :( sorry to hear about your gain!! dontttttt give up though lovely. Keep trying and it will happen. Do you drink enough water? Are you definetely eating enough points? Have a good think if theres anything that you can change..maybe your metabolism needs a shake up? Let us know anything we can do to help lovely.Hugs xxxx
 
Aww Carrie sorry everything is going against you. The girls have said it all I think....please don't give up. Maybe start posting your diaries again to see if we can help. It could be something really simple, are you eating all you dailies that are assigned to you. Have you experimented with your weeklies?? I know you've probably thought about all this....send a message if there is anything I can help with xxx((((hugs))))

Good luck with your appointment xx
 
hey there hope you are doing good! how did your docs go? any help?
 
Hugs!!!! Are u sure u are eating enough? Are u still doing some exercise? Massive hugs! It will be a false gain darling u don't deserve that!! Hope doc went ok xxx
 
Hope you're doing well today :) hope to hear from you soon
 
Hugs :D any nice plans for weekend? How us ur week going? Xx
 
Hey everyone ;)
Sorry I went totally Awol there!
I tend to withdraw when I'm feeling that awful :(

I can't thank-you all enough for all you messages, advice & support xx

I am still on plan.
I am still tracking.
I am not doing so well on everything else!
I'm dreading WI next week as it has such a huge effect on my mood for the rest of the week & after last weeks suspicious & utterly unwaranted 3lb gain I'm convinced I'm going to be mucking around with these same 4lbs forever!

I did go to the Docs yesterday & ask for my Thyroid to be checked again as well as my Iron & a FBC.
I told him about my weight yo-yoing even though I'm on ww & he was really nice about it & agreed to the tests (usually have to fight for them lol!)

Will leave it here as I need to start getting ready for night out - going to see a friends band play & there are going to be s**t loads of people I know there so am absolutely bricking it!!
Honestly I'm so nervous I've broken out in crazy spots on my face :(
I get sooooo much anxiety about going to social things but 100 times worse when it's people I know (bizzare right?)
I know this sounds really vain but it's not at all - I get super paranoid people will be looking to see how much weight I've gained or lost & constantly worry about looking massive & ugly :'(
Doesn't help that it's a group of super confident loud people & I just worry all the time about not having anything to say :'(
That's the worst part really - I never know what to say! Wish I had a brain-bank list of things to say in social situations ...

Also I'm driving so will be totally sober eeeeeek!!! Booze is the only thing that makes me appear more human in these situations!

Ok before I talk myself out of it I'm gonna start slapping on the war paint (protection!)

Hope you are all having great weekends & promise I will be back to posting soon :)
Feel better just writing this :)

CGx
Sent from my HTC Wildfire using MiniMins
 
Carriegirl21 said:
Hey everyone ;)
Sorry I went totally Awol there!
I tend to withdraw when I'm feeling that awful :(

I can't thank-you all enough for all you messages, advice & support xx

I am still on plan.
I am still tracking.
I am not doing so well on everything else!
I'm dreading WI next week as it has such a huge effect on my mood for the rest of the week & after last weeks suspicious & utterly unwaranted 3lb gain I'm convinced I'm going to be mucking around with these same 4lbs forever!

I did go to the Docs yesterday & ask for my Thyroid to be checked again as well as my Iron & a FBC.
I told him about my weight yo-yoing even though I'm on ww & he was really nice about it & agreed to the tests (usually have to fight for them lol!)

Will leave it here as I need to start getting ready for night out - going to see a friends band play & there are going to be s**t loads of people I know there so am absolutely bricking it!!
Honestly I'm so nervous I've broken out in crazy spots on my face :(
I get sooooo much anxiety about going to social things but 100 times worse when it's people I know (bizzare right?)
I know this sounds really vain but it's not at all - I get super paranoid people will be looking to see how much weight I've gained or lost & constantly worry about looking massive & ugly :'(
Doesn't help that it's a group of super confident loud people & I just worry all the time about not having anything to say :'(
That's the worst part really - I never know what to say! Wish I had a brain-bank list of things to say in social situations ...

Also I'm driving so will be totally sober eeeeeek!!! Booze is the only thing that makes me appear more human in these situations!

Ok before I talk myself out of it I'm gonna start slapping on the war paint (protection!)

Hope you are all having great weekends & promise I will be back to posting soon :)
Feel better just writing this :)

CGx
Sent from my HTC Wildfire using MiniMins
Click to expand...

Hey you! Glad to see you back and to here youre trying to stay on track.. Its always really hard to keep going when you just want to give up.
Sry to hear that you are having such bad anxiety. Trust me i know the feeling. It feels like all they are gonna see is how massive you are and somehow feel supior to you.. Thats how i felt so many times in my life i cant even remember ever going out with people and not feeling it. And i am a very quiet person as well.. I dont know if its cause im just shy or i just dont feel like i have anything inportant to say.. Like people will just think im stupid.. All i know is that we all have to work through it together.. They are issues that one day we will rise above and overcome. :)
Try not to let it get you down too much, you can have a great time, and i know you will.
Good to hear that you were able to get checked out at the docs, fingers crossed they can help you get to the bottom of it. You will get through this girly! Its only a bump on your way to a happy you :D
 
Glad the doctor is taking care of you xx
I have bad social anxiety too hon... I draw away from any social situations as I constantly think people will judge me (I have no idea why I think this). In fact I make up excuses to not go to things that I should be going to because of this! So I understand how you're feeling chick. Sending you hugs (((((hugs))))) xXx

Sent from my Galaxy S using MiniMins
 
Hope u had a good night petal! Massive hugs! Glad doctor has done tests - hope results are helpful...

Xx
 
Oooh you're all so awesome :D xx

I hate the social anxiety thing - some of the things you are saying is exactly how I feel!
I avoid going to things just because if this & cancel things all the time.

The daft thing is that if I do go I end up having a good time then come home thinking 'I want to do that loads more!' & feel silly for wasting all that time on worrying - but it doesn't seem to get any easier the next time!

I'm starting a course of CBT soon & am really hoping to learn some ways of coping better & pushing myself to be more sociable - even though I've always been super shy & zero confidence - I used to go out almost every night in my late teens with no trouble!

Anyhoo - tonight went really well :)
Everything went smoothly, good drive, didn't get the super freak-out nervous sweats on entering the venue either woop!
Was good to see people - they all said it had been far too long since they saw me (go figure) and all in all I felt I did ok... still didn't know what to say & over-analysed every convo on the way home but hey, that's just what I do ;)

Bonus is that I didn't go off plan :)
I drank about 5pp of coke but didn't eat anything while out :)
All down to good planning (which isn't my strong point) had a pot shot with veg before we left & then had ridiculous late dinner at 2am!! Of chips & veggie sausage - was sooooo hungry ... but all within daily points yay :)

Have planned to pop out for a drive to a different town tomorrow - hoping to avoid the inevitable Sunday coffee shop visit - too many yummy treats!

CGx
Sent from my HTC Wildfire using MiniMins
 
glad to hear everything when ok last night and you were able to have a good time, while still keeping on track. its great to hear you taking charge and trying to sort out your problems and really wanting to work at over coming them. it really does inspire me to figure myself out as well lol.. sometimes i even have anxiety about going across the road to send out the post in the box.. i feel like people at the bus stop or driving by are gonna judge or stare or something.. idk the things that our minds can come up with to hold us back, eh?
have a great day out.. i think me and the OH are finally gonna go for a walk in the park.. id kinda like to jog and stuff but i really dont think hes into that lol.. maybe i can get him to take his remote control buggy and he can stay occupied with that lol.
 
Glad it all went well :) and U stayed on plan ;D x
 
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