2010 New year new moi diary :)

[jacqui35]

Got weighed last night and sts i couldnt believe it im so annoyed as you can see from menu's WHY:sigh::sigh::sigh:

I honestly dont know where im going wrong and i think im doing all this for nothing and just wasting money, i mean for sts or half pound off would of only cost me 50p in boots .

Last time i was at ww and this was happening i then went to the gym and i never lost weight there neither and even thought was swimming, gym, spinning, combat and body pump, but my mum said that my body shape was toning up and i was looking good but i quit cos i was never losing weight on the scales grrrrrr i just really had enough now and tbh i dont know where or what to do next, i no probably no one gonna read this but this diary is to jot what i feel and atm i feel like **** :cry::cry:

 

[jacqui35]

Well since last post ive not been on track got weighed on wednesday i was off track on thursday but didnt eat much and friday was more a few sarnies and a couple of bacardi, but friday went to see doctor to see why im getting pain in top abdomen and why on earth i aint shifting this weight and he gave me xenical, i know its cheating but i dont want to go back to ww as i will be eating crap with points and i like the food on sw i really do i love ee but cant and wont work, so im taking xenical, first was yesterday with green dinner and today and rest of week with red days.

I always said i wont take tabs to help but im just so down that im doing so well and not showing a weight loss and my kids said why you cheating and they said but you not cheated on sw so why no loss, so thats why im taking them.

Ill just report on here how i feel from day to day and report my food diary on food diary till i get myself sorted

Please all dont hate me :cry:

 

[jacqui35]

16th February 2010

Hi all

Still on xenical and still not been toilet as been taking them for a whole three days now

Since not losing alot over 6 weeks ive been eating sw food but having a few bits of rubbish to but not loads so i totally fall off plan

So as from tomorrow i will be back to carrying on as normal and at least i wont be putting weight on but i dont want to be sts for rest of life, also going gym while kid at trampoline as it falls inside my time if i register before 4 then take kid to trampoline then hit the ladies gym and other son can go into mixed gym, also been on just dance with son and loving it omg im sooo knackered hahaha

Just felt bit down not about life and stuff just about diet and hopefully back to normal now as from tomoz

 

[jacqui35]

17th February 2010

Hi all wednesday night and its wi night and i didnt go cos ive not been totally on diet and hey ho its only a countdown and no doubt i wouldnt of lost anyways, i think its really took a big knock the way its going

Oh well still doing xenical and back on it tomoz hopefully

 

[jacqui35]

Not been on here for while, i just cant get my head around being focus at all no matter what.

I wasted 50 quid on countdown and i think still got 4 weeks to go and basically i reckon ive put all my weight that i lose a whole 2.5lb plus more.

Even the flipping xenical aint working and i just feel like pigging out all the time, i dont know what is wrong with me.

Im depressed a hell of a lot and i just sit here crying :cry:, im so miserable, my house is always a mess the kids dont help and no matter how much i shout they just sit there, i have no money every day and i wish i could work but cant cos im a carer for my son who has autism, i have no friends at all so im stuck in the day on own, i wont go gym on own, all i do every day is pig out at night and drink every night, fgs i have kids and i shouldnt be like this and this diet aint working when i was completely on it, i feel a failure all time, no wonder guys dont wanna know me im just a miserable *****

sorry for ranting there loads more but i thought this is how you feel and i thought better of on my diary than in main board :cry::cry:

 

[soccermom]

aw jacqui so sorry you feel so down, I honestly cant see from your food diary whats happening.

I have been away for a week so not seen any of your updates and didnt know you are now trying xenical.

Have you spoke to the doc about how depressed you are feeling?

Does your son go to a club or anything like that? have you thought about volunteering there? just to get you out of the house and talking to people your own age.

I dont mean to sound patronising and hope I dont , its just something I am starting in the next couple of weeks hopefully its a way into a job further down the line and a way to get me back in the loop as I have cut myself off a lot with gaining so much weight

Keep writing hun its good to vent, just wish I could be of more help and of use xxx