Alessandra's diary

[Nina41]

Dear Jo and elida, ( meant it!)

I spent the whole day thinking about what Elida wrote. I did read what you two said, I considered, understood but now I have a question for you : (i dont mean to confront you!) what is my true weigh? Who knows what my "true weight" is? If my true weight means the average weight I had all my life before getting pregnant, then it is 64kg.
HOWEVER, that was a time when I ate whatever I fancied. I could then eat 1/2litre of ice cream in 15 mins. I would eat a whole pack of biscuit watching a film and my favourite restaurant was the Italian around the corner. I never exercised and I though fried fish was super healthy (after all it's fish, right?). So I ask you, did I ever give my body a chance to finds its true weight? Mind you, 64kg was also the weight that always made me feel really fat and ugly. I never had a true weight in a well balanced diet like a regular healthy human being.

Do you see what I mean? Is my true weight what I had when I had a HORRIBLE diet???? Had I eaten healthly and exercised like a normal person, would I still weigh that???

I don't want to sound stubborn or as if I am not listening because believe me, I take everything everyone says on board because I am trying to find a way out this "eating disorder" or diet nightmare I am living. I think about my diet 24hrs a day and all I want is to find out why my life is ruled by food like it is now.

I think I deserve a chance to get down to the weight I always dreamed. If it is going to be difficult to maintain it than I will cross that bridge when I get there but at least I would have a feeling I have tried.


So right now girls, I need to find out why is it taking so long to loose. Is it because I have a thyroid problem or am I eating too much? Like you Jo, I also hope the results turn out fine. I couldn't bare thinking all my hard work in the past years was in vain because of a fail diagnosis.


Again and again, I thank you all for the help and support.


I would LOVE to know about your personnal experiences with this called "true weight".


Ps I hope you can understand what I wanted to say.

 

[Nina41]

By the way, used your technique at luch time and it worked! ( eating and stopping)

 

[trudyc]

Alessandra - only you can make the right choice for you though you have been given some great advice ultimately you have to live with your choices, I think there are many positives going on and any loss at your current weight is good and the odd fluctuation is to be expected. I have under active thyroid and it hasn't affected my weight loss. Keep going and try to focus on how much better you feel than what you are weighing, I try to do this all the time!!

 

[Nina41]

Very true trudic, very true. I feel so good right now that any weight loss is a bonus. It is just a bit frustrating, it's like working really hard and getting paid little!!

Can u tell me more about your under active thyroid? The gps always only asked for the TSH and that was always ok. The specialist asked for t3 andT4. What puzzles me is that I have s o many symptoms! How come no gp ever put the symptoms together?
Could you tell me more about your diet history?

Anyway, I now have 4 PP days ahead of me and a party on Saturday that I want to look amazing!!!

 

[elida]

Dear Jo and elida, ( meant it!)

I spent the whole day thinking about what Elida wrote. I did read what you two said, I considered, understood but now I have a question for you : (i dont mean to confront you!) what is my true weigh? Who knows what my "true weight" is?

Your body does.. If you never weighed that much in your adult life, your body will struggle to put back on whatever it can on the side..
I must admit, you have a point here.. Think of a person who has been morbid obese all her adult life.. Because she never weighed less, is her true weight something she weighed before?
It is only one of the constants Allesandra.. Think of it this way.. SHe will have to settle in a healthy weight, with BMI around 25..

Dear Jo and elida, ( meant it!)

I think I deserve a chance to get down to the weight I always dreamed. If it is going to be difficult to maintain it than I will cross that bridge when I get there but at least I would have a feeling I have tried.

Sorry for my previous comment, I thought we can joke about this.. Didn't mean to upset you, honest.
Really, do you believe you can say this and move on? If you can, then great.. I would be very upset if I saw the weight coming back right on, and I am not as sensitive as you about the whole weight issue..

 

[Maintainer]

I'm really going to blow your theories out of the water re "true weight", amusing as they were for me to read with my first cuppa. In French, the weight we are striving for is "poids stabilisable". It hardly needs translating yet, for some reason, those who translated the diet for export into anglophone society chose to call it "true weight".

Ponder now more fully on the term "stabilisable weight".

Mine, if I plug in my stats at about 75-80K (where my weight bounds up to whenever "on holiday"), it places my "stabilisable weight" at 75K. No way could I live with that. Although, it probably is correct as I spend most of my time fighting to keep my weight below that.

With Dukan, as I've extensively posted in the past, I got to 64K. I loved how my body looked. My face looked haggard and I was asked many times if I was ill. I weighed that weight for one day. As soon as I moved onto Conso, I regained weight at an alarming rate, panicked, yoyo dieted my way through Conso, and have basically been doing the same thing ever since... More food for thought. But, anyway, we're not talking about me here.

A stabilisable weight is a weight at which we can remain, given our age, number of children, diet history etc etc, WITHOUT constantly being on a diet. We can play a little further with this weight if we are prepared to exercise more. But I'm a firm believer that going below one's "stabilisable weight", while totally possible in Cruise, is not an easy weight to keep to in Conso (while introducing food groups) or Stabilisation while theoretically coming OFF diets for good.

I am the person who has been morbidly obese most of her life. If I plug in my stats at my diet start weight in March 2002 (cos of course I have), my "stabilisable weight" was 80K.

 

[Nina41]

I didnt mean to be amusing!

 

[robinhood]

I can't answer for the others, but my weight has stabilised (one year+ after starting conso) at around the conso start weight (which was the 'true weight' that Dr D gave me, so I think his calculations are worthy of keeping in mind). It does go up and down a bit (as weight does) but the PP day generally sorts it out (I never weighed during conso unless it was after a PP day). I have stopped weighing myself now, but last month it was fine and I'll find out after Christmas if it is still the same (ish) and for the fun (or shock) of it, I'll weigh before and after PP day in January!

For my diet/weight history, I only did one diet prior to Dukan (WW) which worked well but I didn't stabilise due to family worries and the weight went on gradually (over the next few years) although I'd not finished losing. I have weighed less than I do now, but that was while breastfeeding baby no 1 when I struggled to keep weight on (and I was eating obsence amounts of food) and my weight lowered to 60 kilos. My weight went back up to 63 kilos once I'd stopped breastfeeding and (adding on 500 gr) that is my true weight now. It went up to 74 (which is roughly where i was when I started this) after the birth of baby no3 but I'd put on a lot of weight after having my second baby who died neonatally, I think my body shut down a bit and didn't burn very much at all as I gained weight without having much of an appetite or comfort eating or any of that. The fact that breastfeeding didn't help me lose weight after no 3 spurred me on to WW and eventually (7 years later) to here.

I'm not expecting to stay there indefinitely, age will put weight on me (as will the menopause, no doubt:sigh but as long as I have a healthy BMI with a little leeway for holidays, then I'm quite happy.

Remember that the 'true weight' isn't necessarily the weight you want, it's one that is reasonably easy to maintain for YOU (I'm managing to maintain mine with very little hardship and your way of cooking/tastebuds do change during this diet which makes it easier). That may mean that you won't attain the weight you want and stabilise without making lots of sacrifices to your normal diet once you have completed the 4 phases of Dukan.

Sorry for the long waffle.

Good luck!

 

[wkdstepmum]

Alessandra, I think you should stop being so hard on yourself and give yourself a break, you're 133lbs and at BMI 23 you're not overweight or near it. You're in your 40s now[if I'm not wrong] and have children and will most likely not reach 120lbs in any healthy way and maybe you have to come to terms with that...I see you said that at 64kg you were fat and ugly. I think you have an unhealthy view of yourself, you're not ugly and now you're certainly not fat...
I honestly think a little talk therapy would help you immensely and being a little kinder to yourself, maybe look internally, come up with things you like about yourself and focus on those a little more...Perhaps you'll find that the extra couple of lbs doesn't matter so much x

 

[Nina41]

Wkdstepmum, I would loooove some therapy! I know I am ill, I know I have a huge problem with food and self image and i know my proble is psychological. I know, I know.
All these discussions and all your opinions are helping me immensely. It is really great to talk to people on the same boat.

I am very happy to be weighting what I am now, don't take me wrong (when I get to 59something I'll be buying everyone here a virtual drink) and there is no way I will stop dieting right now.

How are you doing on your diet?

 

[CaledoniaDreaming]

Maybe you should book some sessions with a therapist? They can often cut through to the core of why you feel the way you do about something - all knowledge empowers us. I saw one briefly a long time ago and understood myself a LOT more -which I still find useful to this day.

 

[Nina41]

I did therapy years ago and it helped me a lot. When I was in London 10years ago I was sent to an eating disorder clinic but had to be on a waiting list. But then I moved out of London and got pregnant so everything stopped. I will look into it again.
I am a lot more screwed up than you think! Lol!

 

[Nina41]

So today:

Bkf 2eggs, 30grs smoked salmon

Lunch chicken soup (1thigh,1drumstick)

Snack 1 dukan cereal bar

Dinner 2 drumsticks, 2 thighs cooked with garlic and ginger (a LOT of garlic. Is is allowed?)

3 jellys
50grs Greek yogurt


I am extremely bloated again. Really annoying. I did go to the loo and still feel things moving inside me... Can it be the garlic?

 

[Maintainer]

Tell me about these Dukan cereal bars please? (never heard of them, but they could well be something he's brought out in the UK for all I know!)

I don't see your oatbran above. Ref bloating and wind - sweetener is notorious for that, so watch how much of that you're having perhaps? Garlic is fine. Your 4 x PP days on the trot could well be causing you the bloating problems again this week...

You certainly have cut down on your food intake BIG time!

Do you read other people's diaries at all Alessandra?

 

[CaledoniaDreaming]

Dukan cereal bar? Is it a homemade one with oatbran and goji berries?

 

[robinhood]

Jo, Dukan now has cereal bars and other ready-made nonsense (for your info only - no use to the others - you can get it all in Géant Casino - never tried it, never will) which completely defeats the object as he likes us to get back to cooking:sigh:.

I'm sure some (if not all) is available in the UK, or at least from the Dukan shop.

 

[wkdstepmum]

I don't think I'll be partaking since the hitherto lack of pre-packaged food is precisely the reason I'm with Dukan...I guess it might be handy if you were caught out somewhere but I really think that's a slippery slope back to picking up any old cereal bar if Dukan ones aren't available etc.... Non, merci Pierre!!!

 

[Nina41]

Sorry, it is not a cereal bar as we know it. It is oats+linseeds+skimmed milk+chocolate . A friend gave me the recipe.

 

[slimdreamer]

Alessandra, I could be wrong but if you are already slow in losing the linseed, milk and chocolate could be contributing to it. I say that without knowing the quantities but I didn't think linseed was allowed at all and 1 tsp sugar free fat free cocoa is allowed as a tolerant.

I personally cannot afford any tolerants at all . It may be worth dropping the cereal bar for a day or two to see if it is effecting your loss.

 

[Nina41]

I never had it before, just yesterday. I was craving chocolate and a friend who's been monitored by the dukan site gave me this recipe.