An official restarter in need of some help!

Hi - I don't know what your BF's issues were but from personal experience I have been made very unhappy when I have felt I have not lived up to other people's expectations - maybe he has felt the same. I have now learned to give myself a break. I hope you can make him see that setting such a high bar for you and nagging you to reach it are just going to add to your troubles rather than help. I know he means well but he needs to be more compassionate and to listen to you. His past problems are not your present problems. Good luck and I hope you sort it out.
 
Hi Polly,
Welcome and well done on your loss!
I hope your boyfriend becomes more supportive to you.
 
Hi Polly,

your boyfriends attitude is very harsh, and although i really dont agree with it at all, he probably does think he is helping you out......... Men eh?!?

im lucky, my boyfriend is very supportive, and i think yours will be too, when he understands more about the plan.

i have lost 3 stone so far and i do very little exersize, so i can vouch for the plan alone....... as time goes by (if you have a lot to lose) you may need to increase your activity, but for now, starting the plan is a great start.

From my experience, if i try and take too much on, depriving myself of treats, cutting back too much, and setting unrealistic exercise plans, i tend to feel overwhelmed and give up. i think others would back me up on this too?!

6lb loss in your first week is brilliant, be proud of what you have achieved, and be positive about what you can acheive in the coming weeks (without pushing yourself too hard)

your man will soon see your happiness shining through and relax a bit

Good Luck!! xx
 
helen1987 said:
Hi Polly,

your boyfriends attitude is very harsh, and although i really dont agree with it at all, he probably does think he is helping you out......... Men eh?!?

im lucky, my boyfriend is very supportive, and i think yours will be too, when he understands more about the plan.

i have lost 3 stone so far and i do very little exersize, so i can vouch for the plan alone....... as time goes by (if you have a lot to lose) you may need to increase your activity, but for now, starting the plan is a great start.

From my experience, if i try and take too much on, depriving myself of treats, cutting back too much, and setting unrealistic exercise plans, i tend to feel overwhelmed and give up. i think others would back me up on this too?!

6lb loss in your first week is brilliant, be proud of what you have achieved, and be positive about what you can acheive in the coming weeks (without pushing yourself too hard)

your man will soon see your happiness shining through and relax a bit

Good Luck!! xx
Click to expand...

Thank you so much :) I feel more confident now that he'll see how good the plan is and hopefully try to be more supportive. He does care - he just really doesn't me to go off track and is doing the complete opposite approach to try and support me. I'll let you all know how Monday goes!
 
I agree with what everyone says about doing it for yourself, not because of your partner. But after a 6lbs loss on the first week I bet you're feeling motivated enough now to keep going for yourself! Maybe if you show him a SW magazine with the menu plan he might realise that yes you're allowed a bit of chocolate or a packet of crisps. I notice there's the same age difference between you and your partner and me and mine. I know mine has a tendency as the older one to give me advice, he knows best, he's been there and done it, he doesn't want me to make the same mistakes he did. Oh he goes on and on, I've learnt to ignore him or gently explain that I know he means well but everybody has to do things they're own way and make their own mistakes and successes they're own way. It's slowly sinking in. He can't believe I eat as much as I do and still can lose weight. I eat all the time, and I've lost about 4 stone. I lost probably about 2 stone by diet alone before I felt confident enough to exercise, then I started swimming, going to the gym, bike riding. I think it's worked because it's become a realistic eating plan for life and not a regimented short term diet. He'll soon see the results and just be strong in yourself and proud of your choices, then hopefully he'll be more supportive of the plan :) Good luck :)
 
Well done on your loss and for taking control of the situation! Fingers crossed you get him whipped into shape ;-)
 
Thank you guys. He's certainly beginning to change his attitude slightly. Tomorrow is when I'm bringing him to the meeting.

In terms of how this week has gone - I'd say 95% good! I've been to the gym/fitness classes 4 times this week and have eaten really well. The only bad day was Saturday - I went to a hen doo. I ate really well during the day to save up my syns, then had a pretty big meal in the evening while we were out (plus wine!!). I made up for it today by going to the gym this morning and eating well. Hopefully it'll be ok!

When I was out at this hen doo though, I could feel a pang of insecurity coming back. I was out with some fellow Slimming World girlies, one of whom is my friend Laura (the bride to be!) who introduced me to Slimming World. She's lost 3 and a half stone so far! Anyway - here's a pic:

543758_10151577426531675_1416375242_n_zps0711d5c8.jpg


I'm the one next to the bride (the blonde on her left with bunny ears).

Now, all night I was getting nasty comments from random people in the street or in the bar we were in. I've had it before when I've been at my biggest (people would shout nasty names at me in the street when I was at uni - horrible locals mainly) but it started happening when we were out, but only to me. Not to anyone else in our group. We'd be walking in the street and groups of men would be all like 'Hey ladies!" Then look at me and go "Eurgh not you." It happened twice as we walked to the bar from the restaurant. Then, when we were in the bar, I walked off toward the loo and had to walk past a group of people. One man from that group felt the need to loudly say "Look at the fat one! Jeeees..." as I walked past.

Most of the time I don't listen to people like that on nights out, but seeing as it happened so many times on this one occasion, it left me thinking that maybe my boyfriend was right and that I am in denial: maybe I am horrifically overweight and ugly and that I was stupid to try and make an effort to go out. I basically felt very very very deflated when I got home.

Going to the gym this morning helped snap my brain out of it though. I know that this is all going to take time but with each week's loss, I'll feel better!! Hopefully the scales tomorrow won't be too harsh after the big meal on Saturday - I'm also hoping that it won't show a bad result and leave me feeling even worse after all of the comments I received. Sorry for my rambling again!!
 
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What kind of people shout out at women in the street? What kind of people make loud nasty remarks about other people's appearance?

I'll tell you what kind of people - the kind of people that people like us just don't take any notice of, because they are beneath contempt. The kind of people who are incapable of civilised behaviour. We don't take any more notice of them than if a dog barks as we go past, or a monkey makes gibbering noises at the zoo!
 
Vile people! You look pretty as you are. Well done on your 6 lbs and hopefully the meeting tomorrow goes well for you and your BF. It's clear from your comments that you love him, and it's great that you want his support. It's not easy for people around us when we go for something life changing like this, question is; are his intentions in the right place? You can be the only judge of that. Hopefully after todays session - you can have a more open discussion about it, with being more knowledgeable of the way SW works. Good luck, I'm thinking of you!
 
Hi Polly

I think that you need to do what is best for you otherwise your heart wont be in it and if your boyfriend loves you then he will support you ...also maybe get a friend to be you diet partner.

This site has lots of lovely people who give each other support too

Faye Cheshire
 
Who cares what a bunch of ignorant men have to say !!!!!!!!!!!

I think you look pretty and lovely. You are doing this for you and no one else.

Faye Cheshire
 
marsipan said:
Vile people! You look pretty as you are. Well done on your 6 lbs and hopefully the meeting tomorrow goes well for you and your BF. It's clear from your comments that you love him, and it's great that you want his support. It's not easy for people around us when we go for something life changing like this, question is; are his intentions in the right place? You can be the only judge of that. Hopefully after todays session - you can have a more open discussion about it, with being more knowledgeable of the way SW works. Good luck, I'm thinking of you!
Click to expand...

Thank you :) Yeah, I love him to bits. Just wish he was less stubborn! He thinks he knows it all when I know he doesn't. Men huh?? Ugh.

I'll let you all know how it goes tonight!!
 
God some people are vile. Just remember that just because people say this stuff, it doesn't make it true. It us just rubbish that comes out of their gobs when they are trying to impress their sad little friends. And just because you hear something don't assume it is aimed at you. It could be anyone they are talking about! Not that it excuses any if them.

You all look gorgeous x
 
hi polly I am new here and your story choked me a little. All i can say is you look lovely in the pic, very pretty girl who seems motivated enough. I spent many years of my life trying to please others and all those people hurt me. now everything is about me, my hubby and girls. Do this for you, be yourself. everyone else is already taken ;-)

good luck and fabulous weight loss xx
 
emsiwat said:
hi polly I am new here and your story choked me a little. All i can say is you look lovely in the pic, very pretty girl who seems motivated enough. I spent many years of my life trying to please others and all those people hurt me. now everything is about me, my hubby and girls. Do this for you, be yourself. everyone else is already taken ;-)

good luck and fabulous weight loss xx
Click to expand...

Thank you very much :)

Yesterday's meeting went alright! He really didn't want to go and tried to get out of it the day before, but I stood my ground and dragged him along. He sat in on a new member talk while I went to get weighed. I gained 1.5lb, which is a shame but I think it's down to building up muscle - I went to the gym 4 times in a row last week and my personal trainer did warn me that my weight may shift as the muscle builds up. So I've put it down to that and am staying positive!

In terms of how my man took everything - he seemed very shocked at the amount of food I can actually eat that's free or superfree. When we left, he told me he didn't connect with some of what my leader was saying, because it's not the type of diet he'd ever do. I responded by telling him that I didn't bring him along to try and convert him into joining. I brought him to meet my leader and get more of a jist of how the plan works. He did admit that he was shocked by the amount I can actually have and he's apologised for being a stubborn b*stard.

I am really grateful that he came along and ended up listening, despite his initial objections. I think the message is slowly sinking in.

Off subject - my day today has been alright. Went to my aerobiking class after work but have gone over my syns by 8! (Had 2 Jammy Dodgers) Will make up for it tomorrow! :)
 
:) congrats. seems like its positive so far. don't worry about the slight gain, you've probably shocked your body a little with all the exercise your doing - which is great in terms of fitness levels going on the up! do you sense a difference in ur fitness? - i'm not sure how this syn business works but two jammy dodgers hopefully wont break the scales :p... although u never know
 
Hi Polly.
Welcome back to SW!
Good luck on your personal journey, remember you are doing this for you!
Hopefully your boyfriend will now support you and not be a control person.
Sorry to hear you had a slight weight gain on week 2 but that's the past & you only have to look forward, I think you are doing to much exercise, I always find that when I exercise the weight stays the same but I loose inches....
Just tell yourself that you are going to do it & go for it, it's your body, no-one else's.
Write yourself a weekly menu & stick to it & keep a food diary for future reference.
Pete
 
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