marsipan
Full Member
Hi Pete, could you expand on this a little?
An official restarter in need of some help!
- Thread starter polly.cantle
- Start date
polly.cantle
Member
Hey Pete,
Thank you very much! My leader did say the same - where the inches go but the weight either stays the same or goes up slightly as you build up muscle. I do feel trimmer, especially around my ribs (since January I've actually lost 10lbs) and my fitness levels are so much better than they ever have been before. I can handle a lot more excersize compared to the me from 3 or 4 years ago!
I do often think that I go to the gym too much. I've decided to not go tonight and do something a little less strenuous, like clean my flat! I need a night off.
polly.cantle
Member
To be perfectly honest, I'm not sure. When I go to the gym I do mainly cardio stuff, like running machine or bike. At my personal trainer's I do upper body and abs also. So a nice mixture really.
judimac
Mad old Bat with Attitude
Polly you will be retaining water in your muscles. You won't have enough testosterone to build much muscle.There are lots of threads on this building muscle myth. Somewhere there is a diagram of the amount of space 1lb of muscle occupies as opposed to 1lb of fat.
polly.cantle
Member
Lost 2lb this week 
However, today has been stupidly stressful - I work in a design/marketing agency and we have a LOT of work on right now for one of our clients. I had to stay until 6:30pm last night (only an hour). Tonight, I stayed until 9pm to help get stuff finished. Had no food for dinner so had some chicken with veggies that my colleagues got from the local Thai place (most like FULL of syns!). I had to miss my aerobiking class which really mad me feel bad and I'm most likely going to have to stay tomorrow too.
However, today has been stupidly stressful - I work in a design/marketing agency and we have a LOT of work on right now for one of our clients. I had to stay until 6:30pm last night (only an hour). Tonight, I stayed until 9pm to help get stuff finished. Had no food for dinner so had some chicken with veggies that my colleagues got from the local Thai place (most like FULL of syns!). I had to miss my aerobiking class which really mad me feel bad and I'm most likely going to have to stay tomorrow too.
polly.cantle
Member
I had another fight with my boyfriend about this last night. Turns out he isn't as supportive and onto the SW idea as I hoped. Despite bringing him along to my meeting and having him chat to my leader, he still doesn't think I'm putting in enough hard work.
basically, things started last night. We went to the pub with a few friends and we all ended up getting quite drunk. I've had an awful week at work - had to stay late to work a few nights which has left me tired and groggy.
Anyway, after the pub, we began walking up the road. I suggested to my boyfriend that we get a cab home, to which he reacted badly. He insisted we walk and told me to not be so lazy. I left it and carried on walking (as we were in front of our friends and I didn't want to cause a scene). As we crossed the road and left our friends, we got to talking. I explained how I'd only suggested getting a cab because I always get cabs home from nights out. He saw it differently: he saw it as me refusing to walk home because I was being too lazy. He began telling me (once again) that I was in denial about the amount of work I'm putting in. This angered me: I go training/to the gym 3 or 4 times a week so him calling me lazy pushed me over the edge I shouted at him.
He asked me a number of times to just be quiet and walk with him, so we could sort it out at home rather than on the road. Fair point, but I was so angry at this point that I couldn't speak. My mind was swirling as I tried to figure out what to say as he was pushing me into walking home with him. After a few moments, he went 'Fine' and stormed off down the road toward my house. I sat on a bench near the canal (opposite the road we were on) and took some time to calm down and think about things. I sat there for about half an hour before I walked home. I got in and found he wasn't there. Turns out he'd walked all the way back to his house (from Fleet to Farnborough).
We texted a bit before I fell asleep and he basically kept telling me that I was still in denial and that nothing had changed from before. I know for a fact that this isn't true. I've lost nearly a stone since January and have worked so hard over the past month to change my lifestyle. I pointed this out to him and also said how if I'd have known that something as simple as wanting to get a cab home could cause this stupid fight, I wouldn't have said anything.
So yeah, nothing's changed at all with him it turns out. I'm so disappointed and disheartened with him. We've not spoken all day - have left him to cool off. The ball's in his court, frankly. But I think that we're most likely going to end up taking a break. He means well and his thoughts are in the right place, but he is going about it the completely wrong way. I tell him this and he refuses to listen - he's very blunt and stubborn.
I need some support to keep me on track this next week - I'm feeling so awful right now
basically, things started last night. We went to the pub with a few friends and we all ended up getting quite drunk. I've had an awful week at work - had to stay late to work a few nights which has left me tired and groggy.
Anyway, after the pub, we began walking up the road. I suggested to my boyfriend that we get a cab home, to which he reacted badly. He insisted we walk and told me to not be so lazy. I left it and carried on walking (as we were in front of our friends and I didn't want to cause a scene). As we crossed the road and left our friends, we got to talking. I explained how I'd only suggested getting a cab because I always get cabs home from nights out. He saw it differently: he saw it as me refusing to walk home because I was being too lazy. He began telling me (once again) that I was in denial about the amount of work I'm putting in. This angered me: I go training/to the gym 3 or 4 times a week so him calling me lazy pushed me over the edge I shouted at him.
He asked me a number of times to just be quiet and walk with him, so we could sort it out at home rather than on the road. Fair point, but I was so angry at this point that I couldn't speak. My mind was swirling as I tried to figure out what to say as he was pushing me into walking home with him. After a few moments, he went 'Fine' and stormed off down the road toward my house. I sat on a bench near the canal (opposite the road we were on) and took some time to calm down and think about things. I sat there for about half an hour before I walked home. I got in and found he wasn't there. Turns out he'd walked all the way back to his house (from Fleet to Farnborough).
We texted a bit before I fell asleep and he basically kept telling me that I was still in denial and that nothing had changed from before. I know for a fact that this isn't true. I've lost nearly a stone since January and have worked so hard over the past month to change my lifestyle. I pointed this out to him and also said how if I'd have known that something as simple as wanting to get a cab home could cause this stupid fight, I wouldn't have said anything.
So yeah, nothing's changed at all with him it turns out. I'm so disappointed and disheartened with him. We've not spoken all day - have left him to cool off. The ball's in his court, frankly. But I think that we're most likely going to end up taking a break. He means well and his thoughts are in the right place, but he is going about it the completely wrong way. I tell him this and he refuses to listen - he's very blunt and stubborn.
I need some support to keep me on track this next week - I'm feeling so awful right now
MrsCadbury
Full Member
Sounds like an awful argument. ((Hugs))
Not exactly the same, but my DH and I are constantly having heated discussions over Frylight and sweetener. He absolutely hates them because they're made of fake stuff that isn't very good for you. I don't use a lot of sweetener but I've gone through almost 3 bottles of Frylight since January. Every time he starts I just tell him I'm not listening. I'll go back to healthy oil when I get to target.
Also, when I say I'm having a red day he thinks he knows it all. Have more cheese and more cream on those days, he says. Slowly he's learning more about SW and he's loosing weight too so he can see its working.
Maybe your OH needs a few more weeks to see the positive effects for himself. How long is that you've been on plan now? 3-4 weeks? Well done on sticking with it and the gym.
Easier said than done, but try not to listen to your OH. You'll get plenty of support on here. I'd say to him you're going to carry on with SW and the gym for another 2-3 months. If you've not lost any weight by then, then you'll try something else, but you need to give it a chance. Until then you'd rather not talk about it with him as its turning into an argument.
Sorry for the ramble.
Not exactly the same, but my DH and I are constantly having heated discussions over Frylight and sweetener. He absolutely hates them because they're made of fake stuff that isn't very good for you. I don't use a lot of sweetener but I've gone through almost 3 bottles of Frylight since January. Every time he starts I just tell him I'm not listening. I'll go back to healthy oil when I get to target.
Also, when I say I'm having a red day he thinks he knows it all. Have more cheese and more cream on those days, he says. Slowly he's learning more about SW and he's loosing weight too so he can see its working.
Maybe your OH needs a few more weeks to see the positive effects for himself. How long is that you've been on plan now? 3-4 weeks? Well done on sticking with it and the gym.
Easier said than done, but try not to listen to your OH. You'll get plenty of support on here. I'd say to him you're going to carry on with SW and the gym for another 2-3 months. If you've not lost any weight by then, then you'll try something else, but you need to give it a chance. Until then you'd rather not talk about it with him as its turning into an argument.
Sorry for the ramble.
willfitskinnyjeans
Gold Member
This is so hard as there's a fine line between concern and control.
Having read into a lot control in relationships this is what I point out.
If he had some issues over the "diet" why didn't he raise issue over the drinking and getting drunk, why go out with you why not suggest a none food/drink hobby or drink soft drinks with you why on the fuss about the walk? walking home wouldn't make a dint on the calories in alcohol. The answer is most likely two things one that he quite likes putting you down as you them don't loose weight get confident and possibly risk you leaving him or that he loves the fun happy times going drunk eating out being fun as dieters have to say no but yet he wants you to perform the miracle of loosing weight as well which won't happen.
Only you know how much effort you put into this and if you can hand on heart say you are and that your doing the very best you can then I think he's probably a controlling man.
Hope your ok
Having read into a lot control in relationships this is what I point out.
If he had some issues over the "diet" why didn't he raise issue over the drinking and getting drunk, why go out with you why not suggest a none food/drink hobby or drink soft drinks with you why on the fuss about the walk? walking home wouldn't make a dint on the calories in alcohol. The answer is most likely two things one that he quite likes putting you down as you them don't loose weight get confident and possibly risk you leaving him or that he loves the fun happy times going drunk eating out being fun as dieters have to say no but yet he wants you to perform the miracle of loosing weight as well which won't happen.
Only you know how much effort you put into this and if you can hand on heart say you are and that your doing the very best you can then I think he's probably a controlling man.
Hope your ok
polly.cantle
Member
I first started SW in January, but my mind wasn't fully into it. My group then kept getting cancelled as my leader had to leave, so I went off track for about a month. I re-joined on March 25th, so have been at it properly now for about 4 weeks (weigh in tomorrow!). Have lost 8lbs so far.
It's just causing so much hassle for us both emotionally. I'm fighting with depression as well, which is difficult for him to cope with.
He called me a few moments ago and I apologised for being drunk and stupid last night. I also said how I'd just been so tired recently after working late and gymming etc, so my depression hasn't been getting better this past week. He's suggested that we take a break for a week or two, so we can each get our space.
I've agreed: I need to be on my own for a bit so I can focus on getting fit and feeling better. Having him around is stressing me out, as he constantly questions what I eat/how I excersize.
I'm upset too though: I don't want to lose him and I feel awful for making him feel bad.
'Shroom
Member
It sounds like your boyfriend isn't really being very supportive.
I showed this to my boyfriend and he couldn't believe it. My boyfriend knows I need to lose weight and I'd joined slimming world before we got together so its something I am doing completely for me.
When I have off days he doesn't sit and criticise me for it, he reminds me in a jokey way that what I'm eating will have syns, and to not come crying to him after weigh in, but he's the first to show how proud he is of me if I lose or even if I gain I'll text him straight after weigh in and will get one back along the lines of "Always next week. Chin up"
Keep going and stick at it. I've joined the gym and I'm getting my head back into the plan. My boyfriend eats what I eat now too, although he doesn't lose much weight because of the frozen pizzas and rubbish he eats when he's at home! lol
I wish you all the luck in the world and I hope your boyfriend will see the light, but if not don't lose track of the end goal!
Kat
I showed this to my boyfriend and he couldn't believe it. My boyfriend knows I need to lose weight and I'd joined slimming world before we got together so its something I am doing completely for me.
When I have off days he doesn't sit and criticise me for it, he reminds me in a jokey way that what I'm eating will have syns, and to not come crying to him after weigh in, but he's the first to show how proud he is of me if I lose or even if I gain I'll text him straight after weigh in and will get one back along the lines of "Always next week. Chin up"
Keep going and stick at it. I've joined the gym and I'm getting my head back into the plan. My boyfriend eats what I eat now too, although he doesn't lose much weight because of the frozen pizzas and rubbish he eats when he's at home! lol
I wish you all the luck in the world and I hope your boyfriend will see the light, but if not don't lose track of the end goal!
Kat
polly.cantle
Member
Thank you
I'm trying to stay positive and stick to my guns. It's difficult when I'm on my own but am determined to stick to it!
Siobhmrk4
Full Member
Hi Polly. Just came across this thread now. You are under enough pressure with your job, trying to fit the gym in and staying on plan without your boyfriend putting added pressure on you. It sounds like you are being constantly judged and scrutinised by him.
Use this break to figure out what you want.
I can't imagine how you feel. My husband has always been supportive of everything I do. He never complains about all the sw food I force on him or when I am late home all the time because of the gym. In fact we don't really talk much about sw at all. I just do it and he is always supportive when I get weighed, be it a plus or minus on the scales.
If you love each other you should both sit down and talk it through and explain to him how you feel. If he really respects you he should be willing to change his attitude towards your new sw lifestyle and exercise.
Good luck with your journey x
Use this break to figure out what you want.
I can't imagine how you feel. My husband has always been supportive of everything I do. He never complains about all the sw food I force on him or when I am late home all the time because of the gym. In fact we don't really talk much about sw at all. I just do it and he is always supportive when I get weighed, be it a plus or minus on the scales.
If you love each other you should both sit down and talk it through and explain to him how you feel. If he really respects you he should be willing to change his attitude towards your new sw lifestyle and exercise.
Good luck with your journey x
AnnaFaraday
..
. . . . he still doesn't think I'm putting in enough hard work. What right has he (or anyone else for that matter) to say how hard you should "work"? It's up to you.
. . . I suggested to my boyfriend that we get a cab home, to which he reacted badly. He insisted (here he goes with the "insisting" again!) we walk and told me to not be so lazy (how rude - you had had a bad week and you were tired). So . I left it and carried on walking . . . why didn't you just go and get a taxi yourself? You didn't need his permission . . . he was pushing me into walking home with him. After a few moments, he went 'Fine' and stormed off down the road toward my house. I sat on a bench near the canal . . . you wouldn't do what he wanted so he walked off and left you alone, in the dark, not quite sober, to make your own way home. Nice!
. . . So yeah, nothing's changed at all with him it turns out. You are right there, he is still a bully! . . . He means well and his thoughts are in the right place . . . I can see no evidence of this
I need some support to keep me on track this next week - I'm feeling so awful right now
I am not sure that my remarks are going to be quite the support you feel you need. Sorry if that is the case. But I do think that you need a very strong reality check here, if after all this you can say that he "means well".
I am not surprised you felt awful. I do hope you are feeling better now and that you can find a way out of this continuing cycle of him bullying you and you apologising for it.
polly.cantle
Member
Had a great meeting last night: lost 4.5lbs and got my half stone award! Only 2 more lbs until it's 1 stone since I joined in March
I feel so much more positive than I did over the weekend. I'm glad to be having this break and am so happy that I had a good week. Am staying happy
I feel so much more positive than I did over the weekend. I'm glad to be having this break and am so happy that I had a good week. Am staying happy
MrsCadbury
Full Member
Well done!
fat_poppy
Full Member
I had another fight with my boyfriend about this last night. Turns out he isn't as supportive and onto the SW idea as I hoped. Despite bringing him along to my meeting and having him chat to my leader, he still doesn't think I'm putting in enough hard work.
basically, things started last night. We went to the pub with a few friends and we all ended up getting quite drunk. I've had an awful week at work - had to stay late to work a few nights which has left me tired and groggy.
Anyway, after the pub, we began walking up the road. I suggested to my boyfriend that we get a cab home, to which he reacted badly. He insisted we walk and told me to not be so lazy. I left it and carried on walking (as we were in front of our friends and I didn't want to cause a scene). As we crossed the road and left our friends, we got to talking. I explained how I'd only suggested getting a cab because I always get cabs home from nights out. He saw it differently: he saw it as me refusing to walk home because I was being too lazy. He began telling me (once again) that I was in denial about the amount of work I'm putting in. This angered me: I go training/to the gym 3 or 4 times a week so him calling me lazy pushed me over the edge I shouted at him.
He asked me a number of times to just be quiet and walk with him, so we could sort it out at home rather than on the road. Fair point, but I was so angry at this point that I couldn't speak. My mind was swirling as I tried to figure out what to say as he was pushing me into walking home with him. After a few moments, he went 'Fine' and stormed off down the road toward my house. I sat on a bench near the canal (opposite the road we were on) and took some time to calm down and think about things. I sat there for about half an hour before I walked home. I got in and found he wasn't there. Turns out he'd walked all the way back to his house (from Fleet to Farnborough).
We texted a bit before I fell asleep and he basically kept telling me that I was still in denial and that nothing had changed from before. I know for a fact that this isn't true. I've lost nearly a stone since January and have worked so hard over the past month to change my lifestyle. I pointed this out to him and also said how if I'd have known that something as simple as wanting to get a cab home could cause this stupid fight, I wouldn't have said anything.
So yeah, nothing's changed at all with him it turns out. I'm so disappointed and disheartened with him. We've not spoken all day - have left him to cool off. The ball's in his court, frankly. But I think that we're most likely going to end up taking a break. He means well and his thoughts are in the right place, but he is going about it the completely wrong way. I tell him this and he refuses to listen - he's very blunt and stubborn.
I need some support to keep me on track this next week - I'm feeling so awful right now
Sorry but your bf seems a complete arse sorry for sounding harsh but that ain't support at all. Get rid! Seems to me like he loves u failing so then he can put you down, how dare he!
Your doing fantastic keep up that good work and get rid if the baggage.... The extra pounds and the bf! Xxx
Sent from my iPhone using MiniMins
polly.cantle
Member
Have come home early from work today, as I feel awful. A huge migraine, stomach ache: all sorts.
I feel bad for coming home early as we have a lot of work on, but I was sat for 5 hours with no work to do, then am expected to stay until 11pm at night to get work finished that doesn't come in until 5pm. It's absolutely ridiculous at the moment.
Anyway, this morning I saw my boyfriend cycling into work. There was eye contact and I felt a horrible pang in my chest. It's gotten me down and am not feeling great. I feel so lonely right now. I keep reminding myself why we are having this breaking. Seeing him made me realise that I do miss him though.
Am a wreck today!!
I feel bad for coming home early as we have a lot of work on, but I was sat for 5 hours with no work to do, then am expected to stay until 11pm at night to get work finished that doesn't come in until 5pm. It's absolutely ridiculous at the moment.
Anyway, this morning I saw my boyfriend cycling into work. There was eye contact and I felt a horrible pang in my chest. It's gotten me down and am not feeling great. I feel so lonely right now. I keep reminding myself why we are having this breaking. Seeing him made me realise that I do miss him though.
Am a wreck today!!
