missybct
nomnomnom
I just wanted to echo what all the ladies have said - I too know exactly how you feel - I wouldn't classify myself as having depression per se, but I do suffer from severe anxiety and body dysmophia; I have for over a decade. Whilst I am not depressed, my other half is, and I understand it as well as I possibly can without really having it. I have problems in my past that I can't let go, and refuse to think about most of the time (I think if I reflected over them, I would be depressed, but somehow push them to the back of my mind) but when they come to the front of my mind, I am almost suicidal 
I am very much a boom and bust person - I can operate on a normal scale of functionality (mentally at least, certainly not physically, I have M.E) for the majority of the time, and then that 10% rears its ugly head and I'm just a total mess, screaming, crying, self harming (I did this at the weekend for the first time in a long time) and generally being a total idiot.
I too have great anxiety that people are looking at me - asking myself why they stare - do I have something on my face? Am I so fat they feel repulsed? I've ended up dressing myself in dreary clothes, whereas I always used to be following the trends, and not taking care of myself like hair cuts or make up (I've not had a hair cut for nearly a year!).
Again, whilst I personally haven't experienced depression clinically, I do know how it works. It's hard when you feel like your OH doesn't fully understand your condition (I have that with R and my M.E) - maybe you could write down an open letter that explains a bit about depression, and how it makes you feel? It doesn't have to be a lecturing letter, merely one that just may explain how you feel better than trying to talk about it face to face (which in my experience, for me, never works!).
I hope that has helped a little xxx
I am very much a boom and bust person - I can operate on a normal scale of functionality (mentally at least, certainly not physically, I have M.E) for the majority of the time, and then that 10% rears its ugly head and I'm just a total mess, screaming, crying, self harming (I did this at the weekend for the first time in a long time) and generally being a total idiot.
I too have great anxiety that people are looking at me - asking myself why they stare - do I have something on my face? Am I so fat they feel repulsed? I've ended up dressing myself in dreary clothes, whereas I always used to be following the trends, and not taking care of myself like hair cuts or make up (I've not had a hair cut for nearly a year!).
Again, whilst I personally haven't experienced depression clinically, I do know how it works. It's hard when you feel like your OH doesn't fully understand your condition (I have that with R and my M.E) - maybe you could write down an open letter that explains a bit about depression, and how it makes you feel? It doesn't have to be a lecturing letter, merely one that just may explain how you feel better than trying to talk about it face to face (which in my experience, for me, never works!).
I hope that has helped a little xxx
