Well...after being up all night with my sick son, who has thrown up over everything apart from himself!!?? Anyway, after being up all night, and eating 3 medium chocolate eggs, 4 slices of white bread toast with margarine and a whole bag of microwave popcorn (jeez), I have decided that instead of being annoyed with myself, and thinking about a gain or a sts, I am going to forget about it.
I am actually within my target of 9 stone, at 8 stone 11. I can go up to 9 stone 3, or drop down to 8 stone 11. I feel confident in my clothes, and happy with how far I have come since joining SW. I will be wearing a bikini on holiday, and I won’t feel silly wearing it. I am not walking around with a sign on my head stating my weight! I am not going to stress about a little gain, as long as I stay within my range.
I eat really well for the most part, but every now and again the old me raises its greedy head, and I'm on a mission to eat everything I can find. I know this is a problem I will probably always have, so I guess I just need to accept it, as long as it is every now and again and not every week!
Yesterday, I was going to go on a soup diet to loose more weight for my holiday, for so many weeks I’ve been obsessed with getting a lower and lower weight. WHY!? My husband keeps telling me how good I look, and I need to believe him! I need to stop and settle with the weight I am now.
When I joined slimming world 18 months ago, I had just had a baby three weeks earlier (the same baby whose been throwing up all night). I was 12 stone, and I was crying in shop dressing rooms because nothing fitted. Back then, my aim was to get to 9 stone, I thought it was impossible, but it was my dream weight. Anyway, my original target was 10 stone 4, and I got there around my birthday last march (2011). I've changed my target a couple of times since then, my consultant used her discretion
to lower it by different amounts (9stone11, then 9 stone 5 and then 9 stone).
I finally got to that dream weight a couple of weeks ago, but I was still obsessed with loosing! I wasn’t happy and wanted to see if I could get to 8 and a half stone. But then what...if I got there, would I want to be 8 stone?? Where would it stop?
I still want to continue sticking to the plan because it’s a fantastic way to eat healthy, filling foods, that I can cook using proper ingredients, rather than packets and microwaves, but I don’t want to always think about avoiding food in order to continue loosing.
So my target it 9 stone, and so long as I am between 9 stone 3 and 8 stone 11, I will be happy and comfortable and exactly where I want to be.
Blimey, glad to get that off my chest, even if it is only me talking to myself!
