Dear Slim and Elegant,
Saying that you hate to be fat does not make it go away. Quite on the contrary, your feelings could be a real barrier to change. Hating your appearance could make it very difficult to act in your own best interest. I think it would be better to be gentle and compassionate with yourself and love yourself just the way you are. Then allow change to happen by nurturing yourself with a good dose of forgiveness and kindness for yourself. I wish you all the very best.