Before, during and (eventually) after...Paul's open and honest account.
- Thread starter porkypaul
- Start date
OddSock
Veggiesaurus
Hi! Just thought I'd have a nosey at your diary, and I really enjoyed reading it- you write with such honesty and I think you express the way so many of us are feeling. Congratulations on your losses so far, you've spurred me on to keep going despite all the struggles I've had lately. Good luck on your journey!
CeeCee-is-MeMe
Full Member
Congrats Paul! U are doing so well! Ur diary is very honest & the vast majority of people on here will relate I am sure (I kno I do). Keep up the hard work! I look forward to hearing about ur future successes 
and I only hope I can achieve what you have/are still.
Cc xx
and I only hope I can achieve what you have/are still. Cc xx
porkypaul
Full Member
30th Nov 2010
Well I'm certainly writing in this diary a little bit more than I expected to. That being said, it's a tool I'll use in the future as and when I need to revisit my thoughts. I didn't think for a second this diary may help, influence or even motivate others but it appears to be doing so. This in itself gives me a great deal of pleasure, after all we are all in this together.
Despite yesterday being a really good day (losing 6lb, having energy, feeling much better physically etc) the emotions I experienced in SW meeting are puzzling me somewhat.
The group I attend is a fair sized one (50 odd) and yesterday I was the only one who received a shiny sticker, I won both the Slimmer of the Week and Slimmer of the Month. Ok, so I felt a little embarrassed because I received all the accolades but it was tinged with a sense of guilt. Sat there listening to Cheryl I began to question if there are people in my group beginning to dislike me simply because I'm doing so well. For a few moments, driving home, I hoped my weight loss next week will be a little 1/2lb or one lb at the most...it's all to do with my mind set. You see, if that were the case then perhaps I wouldn't be disliked so much. 'Long sigh'........Just writing that down makes it all sound so stupid. I really need to analyse the points.
Question one: Have I right to question people I don't know?
Answer: No, not really but assumption is something we're all probably guilty of.
Second, why do I continue to assume the worst in regards to what people do think of me?
Answer: Because that's what I've always done and I'm still doing it.
Third, why would I even consider sabotaging (to a small degree) my efforts?
Answer: It's all about justification. Doing something I don't want to do to make people think more of me. Again, something I've done for longer than I care to remember.
Fourth, why should I care?
Answer: This is the key question, why should I care because I shouldn't. In the same way that it isn't people's fault they can eat whatever they want and stay slim, it's not my fault if eating healthily works for me. I am following the plan 100%, I'm not cheating and I'm staying focussed so why shouldn't I do well?
It begs another question though...am I scared to succeed?
If I ever needed proof my mind set needs to change on this journey then the points above say it all.
At the risk of sounding repetitive, I do have to reiterate the one element in all of this; for this to work, for it to become a thing for life...my relationship with food has to change.
Earlier I used up the sausages left over from dinner to make the boy's lunchbox sandwiches and after I finished doing them there was one sausage left. Whenever this sort of thing has happened in the past I would have eaten said sausage and thought nothing more of it, but why? Easy, because it was there. Ok, some would say it's only one sausage and what harm would it do but that isn't the point. The point, again, is that I shouldn't be eating just for the sake of it. It would be so, so easy to eat it, think 'Oh sod it' and then grab a packet of crisps, a chocolate bar and so on.
My best friend is an alcoholic, although he hasn't had a drink for twelve years he still considers himself to be one. Twelve years ago when he first jumped on the wagon we were talking and he said he's not like 'normal' people, he's never been able to just have one or two drinks then stop. It's a lot like me and certain foods...I've never been able to go into the bakers and buy one jam doughnut, eat that and be satisfied. It'd always be a pack of four and despite not wanting the last one I'd still eat it. Why? Because I'd bought it, I like Jam doughnuts and..........yep, it was there. Does this mean I can never go in a bakers shop? At the moment yes, but that's only because I'm not in full control of my relationship with food.
Well I'm certainly writing in this diary a little bit more than I expected to. That being said, it's a tool I'll use in the future as and when I need to revisit my thoughts. I didn't think for a second this diary may help, influence or even motivate others but it appears to be doing so. This in itself gives me a great deal of pleasure, after all we are all in this together.
Despite yesterday being a really good day (losing 6lb, having energy, feeling much better physically etc) the emotions I experienced in SW meeting are puzzling me somewhat.
The group I attend is a fair sized one (50 odd) and yesterday I was the only one who received a shiny sticker, I won both the Slimmer of the Week and Slimmer of the Month. Ok, so I felt a little embarrassed because I received all the accolades but it was tinged with a sense of guilt. Sat there listening to Cheryl I began to question if there are people in my group beginning to dislike me simply because I'm doing so well. For a few moments, driving home, I hoped my weight loss next week will be a little 1/2lb or one lb at the most...it's all to do with my mind set. You see, if that were the case then perhaps I wouldn't be disliked so much. 'Long sigh'........Just writing that down makes it all sound so stupid. I really need to analyse the points.
Question one: Have I right to question people I don't know?
Answer: No, not really but assumption is something we're all probably guilty of.
Second, why do I continue to assume the worst in regards to what people do think of me?
Answer: Because that's what I've always done and I'm still doing it.
Third, why would I even consider sabotaging (to a small degree) my efforts?
Answer: It's all about justification. Doing something I don't want to do to make people think more of me. Again, something I've done for longer than I care to remember.
Fourth, why should I care?
Answer: This is the key question, why should I care because I shouldn't. In the same way that it isn't people's fault they can eat whatever they want and stay slim, it's not my fault if eating healthily works for me. I am following the plan 100%, I'm not cheating and I'm staying focussed so why shouldn't I do well?
It begs another question though...am I scared to succeed?
If I ever needed proof my mind set needs to change on this journey then the points above say it all.
At the risk of sounding repetitive, I do have to reiterate the one element in all of this; for this to work, for it to become a thing for life...my relationship with food has to change.
Earlier I used up the sausages left over from dinner to make the boy's lunchbox sandwiches and after I finished doing them there was one sausage left. Whenever this sort of thing has happened in the past I would have eaten said sausage and thought nothing more of it, but why? Easy, because it was there. Ok, some would say it's only one sausage and what harm would it do but that isn't the point. The point, again, is that I shouldn't be eating just for the sake of it. It would be so, so easy to eat it, think 'Oh sod it' and then grab a packet of crisps, a chocolate bar and so on.
My best friend is an alcoholic, although he hasn't had a drink for twelve years he still considers himself to be one. Twelve years ago when he first jumped on the wagon we were talking and he said he's not like 'normal' people, he's never been able to just have one or two drinks then stop. It's a lot like me and certain foods...I've never been able to go into the bakers and buy one jam doughnut, eat that and be satisfied. It'd always be a pack of four and despite not wanting the last one I'd still eat it. Why? Because I'd bought it, I like Jam doughnuts and..........yep, it was there. Does this mean I can never go in a bakers shop? At the moment yes, but that's only because I'm not in full control of my relationship with food.
Sam1988
I ♥ Slimming World
Hi Paul
Just wanted to say hi :wavey: and let you know i thoroughly enjoy reading your diary!
And also if i was in your SW group i would not for one minute think any less of you for doing so well! In fact i would use it as motivation that trying really hard does get you somewhere!
xxx
Just wanted to say hi :wavey: and let you know i thoroughly enjoy reading your diary!
And also if i was in your SW group i would not for one minute think any less of you for doing so well! In fact i would use it as motivation that trying really hard does get you somewhere!
xxx
Paul - me again!!!
I just wanted to say I can relate to how you are feeling, but from the other side of the class.....my best friend has lost an immense amount of weight....i think nearly 7 stone in under a year....and most weeks she wins, SOTW or gets a sticker, or is praised from the C. In comparison I have lost 4 stone in a longer time frame (13 months).
Initially..... I was TOTALLY jealous - i mean, i couldnt understand how she was getting such fab losses - how unfair!!!! . But the fact is - she sticks to plan, goes to the gym and is totally dedicated to the SW plan and how it works best (super speed foods and suchlike). I would be thinking in my head, what shall i put in the SOTW basket that she would like!!!???? it was like clockwork she would get a win!!!!
So - in answer to your musings, then yes i think people will be jealous of your success at first - its natural to want the speedy losses and super results (it is of course why we are all there!!!) but over time that jealousy turns to being impressed and in awe of the people/persons who do so well and stick to plan so rigid!
I think everyone is different, and you should not try to hinder your progress to please the group.....this is your journey and everyone will support you to your goals.
xxx
I just wanted to say I can relate to how you are feeling, but from the other side of the class.....my best friend has lost an immense amount of weight....i think nearly 7 stone in under a year....and most weeks she wins, SOTW or gets a sticker, or is praised from the C. In comparison I have lost 4 stone in a longer time frame (13 months).
Initially..... I was TOTALLY jealous - i mean, i couldnt understand how she was getting such fab losses - how unfair!!!!
. But the fact is - she sticks to plan, goes to the gym and is totally dedicated to the SW plan and how it works best (super speed foods and suchlike). I would be thinking in my head, what shall i put in the SOTW basket that she would like!!!???? it was like clockwork she would get a win!!!! So - in answer to your musings, then yes i think people will be jealous of your success at first - its natural to want the speedy losses and super results (it is of course why we are all there!!!) but over time that jealousy turns to being impressed and in awe of the people/persons who do so well and stick to plan so rigid!
I think everyone is different, and you should not try to hinder your progress to please the group.....this is your journey and everyone will support you to your goals.
xxx
I just thought I would add that their is a man and women at my SW group that win SOTW etc all the time, but they are on the large side so it makes sense that they would lose a lot more then a lot of the members that have been there ages and have a smaller frame. I jsut find it amusing they win see the funny sad, I am just glad that when I go to group that I lose 1/2lb as food is an enemy and can mess me right over. So there not everyone will think negative etc You never know what is going on in someones head and from my past experience you should never make assumptions. Your on plan and paying for it so why the guilt, it should be more of a celebration or that is what it feels like in my group with everyone seems just chilled lol
I'm so glad I read your diary! You write so well, and its so personal, and totally from the heart.
Yes, there probably will be people who are jealous of your losses, in and out of group, and so they should be - you are doing this 110% and I know you will reach your target... please try and take it as a compliment, in time they will realise you are someone to look up to, as one member of your class has said, she kept you in mind to keep her on track one week. You are making a difference to your group, a positive, important difference, and you can show others the way by continuing to do what you're doing.
I for one am so happy you found this site, where you can get the total support and admiration you deserve to keep going until you achieve your dreams, whatever size or shape they may be.
I look forward to following your progress on here xxx
Yes, there probably will be people who are jealous of your losses, in and out of group, and so they should be - you are doing this 110% and I know you will reach your target... please try and take it as a compliment, in time they will realise you are someone to look up to, as one member of your class has said, she kept you in mind to keep her on track one week. You are making a difference to your group, a positive, important difference, and you can show others the way by continuing to do what you're doing.
I for one am so happy you found this site, where you can get the total support and admiration you deserve to keep going until you achieve your dreams, whatever size or shape they may be.
I look forward to following your progress on here xxx
porkypaul
Full Member
Dec 1st 2010
Weird, weird and weird...Only way I can describe today thus far.
Had a proper lie in this morning and didn't arise from my pit until 11:30 am. I seem to be sleeping much better and for longer all of a sudden.
Upon getting up I felt ravished, like super hungry. Instead of grabbing an apple I plumped for a pack of Morrison's 'Eat Smart' snacks, in my mind I was going to use them as part of an early lunch. I have to be honest and say that as a multipack these 'Eat Smart' snacks are not that nice and I'm not sure if I'll buy them again. Anyway, I ate these snacks and felt stuffed which was strange.
By the time it got to 2:30pm I had to force myself to go and make my lunch. I wasn't that hungry but if I'd left it I wouldn't have eaten anything until about 6pm (dinner) and then I'd be forcing myself to eat my HexA + B + sins much later on in the evening, which isn't the best practice.
I'm not really sure what to do in these circumstances, when I should be eating but I don't feel hungry. Ok, so they say only eat if you're hungry but they also say if you don't eat your body will store what little it does get and you won't lose weight...hmmm. Sat here ninety minutes after eating lunch and I still feel bloated and full which is uncomfortable. I'm sure I'll work it out as to what's best for me, trial and error is probably the ideal way.
The replies I've been getting to this diary have been nothing short of inspirational and I hope those people understand how grateful I am. It is fantastic to get different perspectives on some of the questions I've been asking myself. I do tend to over-analyse sometimes and without hearing other points of view, there'd be a real danger of blinkering myself.
So it's December the first, the eve of my 46th birthday...Christ, forty-six! Funny how you don't feel your age though. I suspect when I was the same age as my youngest (11), anyone who was forty-six would have seem ancient at the time. Perhaps I don't look too bad for my age though lol, I've still got a very good head of hair with just tiny specs of grey in amongst it all. Yes I have a few wrinkles but I emphasise the word 'few' when I say it. Then again, age is only a number and one's mind is much younger than that. I may be older, wiser and more mature but I'll never be a 'grown up'! No cake this year though, just a lovely piece of steak for dinner and a Kit-Kat for pudding- a little treat is better than none.
Christmas, in my mind, isn't anywhere near close until after my birthday has come and gone so I'm not concerning myself with that yet. The only thing I have thought about is Christmas food/extras. I know it's Christmas but I can't see the need to relax from my plan and I'm not going to. In a house with a chocolate-loving wife and three boys (aged 11 -16) with very healthy appetites, there will be many temptations within touching distance but I'm going to leave well alone. Instead I will look forward to 2011 when I'm the weight I want/need to be and I will look back over the previous fourteen months and allow myself to indulge a little.
Spoke to my eldest sister last night and she was telling me that my 'baby' sister is losing weight too. I am still close to my three sisters but have the least to do with the youngest and I haven't spoken to her for a number of weeks. Baby sister has always been 'big', even as a small child and being overweight never seemed to bother her, so much so that she's never been on any sort of diet. She's been doing the WW diet and has already lost three stone! I'm soooo proud of her and will ring her later to make sure she knows this. She's always suffered terribly from a total lack of confidence so I'm really hoping she will continue onwards which, in time, will allow her to come out of her shell for the first time ever.
Overall I am feeling a lot more positive today. What's been said is correct and I shouldn't feel guilty about losing weight as I am doing, let alone consider the thought of a little bit of self-sabotage. It would be wrong of me to let anything hinder my progress and if a few people don't like that I'm doing well, then that's just tough. My C said to me last week that if I carry on the way I'm going, I could be her (she has four groups in all) 'Man of the Year' next July...Now that sounds like an incentive to me!
Weird, weird and weird...Only way I can describe today thus far.
Had a proper lie in this morning and didn't arise from my pit until 11:30 am
. I seem to be sleeping much better and for longer all of a sudden.Upon getting up I felt ravished, like super hungry. Instead of grabbing an apple I plumped for a pack of Morrison's 'Eat Smart' snacks, in my mind I was going to use them as part of an early lunch. I have to be honest and say that as a multipack these 'Eat Smart' snacks are not that nice and I'm not sure if I'll buy them again. Anyway, I ate these snacks and felt stuffed which was strange.
By the time it got to 2:30pm I had to force myself to go and make my lunch. I wasn't that hungry but if I'd left it I wouldn't have eaten anything until about 6pm (dinner) and then I'd be forcing myself to eat my HexA + B + sins much later on in the evening, which isn't the best practice.
I'm not really sure what to do in these circumstances, when I should be eating but I don't feel hungry. Ok, so they say only eat if you're hungry but they also say if you don't eat your body will store what little it does get and you won't lose weight...hmmm. Sat here ninety minutes after eating lunch and I still feel bloated and full which is uncomfortable. I'm sure I'll work it out as to what's best for me, trial and error is probably the ideal way.
The replies I've been getting to this diary have been nothing short of inspirational and I hope those people understand how grateful I am. It is fantastic to get different perspectives on some of the questions I've been asking myself. I do tend to over-analyse sometimes and without hearing other points of view, there'd be a real danger of blinkering myself.
So it's December the first, the eve of my 46th birthday...Christ, forty-six! Funny how you don't feel your age though. I suspect when I was the same age as my youngest (11), anyone who was forty-six would have seem ancient at the time. Perhaps I don't look too bad for my age though lol, I've still got a very good head of hair with just tiny specs of grey in amongst it all. Yes I have a few wrinkles but I emphasise the word 'few' when I say it. Then again, age is only a number and one's mind is much younger than that. I may be older, wiser and more mature but I'll never be a 'grown up'! No cake this year though, just a lovely piece of steak for dinner and a Kit-Kat for pudding- a little treat is better than none.
Christmas, in my mind, isn't anywhere near close until after my birthday has come and gone so I'm not concerning myself with that yet. The only thing I have thought about is Christmas food/extras. I know it's Christmas but I can't see the need to relax from my plan and I'm not going to. In a house with a chocolate-loving wife and three boys (aged 11 -16) with very healthy appetites, there will be many temptations within touching distance but I'm going to leave well alone. Instead I will look forward to 2011 when I'm the weight I want/need to be and I will look back over the previous fourteen months and allow myself to indulge a little.
Spoke to my eldest sister last night and she was telling me that my 'baby' sister is losing weight too. I am still close to my three sisters but have the least to do with the youngest and I haven't spoken to her for a number of weeks. Baby sister has always been 'big', even as a small child and being overweight never seemed to bother her, so much so that she's never been on any sort of diet. She's been doing the WW diet and has already lost three stone! I'm soooo proud of her and will ring her later to make sure she knows this. She's always suffered terribly from a total lack of confidence so I'm really hoping she will continue onwards which, in time, will allow her to come out of her shell for the first time ever.
Overall I am feeling a lot more positive today. What's been said is correct and I shouldn't feel guilty about losing weight as I am doing, let alone consider the thought of a little bit of self-sabotage. It would be wrong of me to let anything hinder my progress and if a few people don't like that I'm doing well, then that's just tough. My C said to me last week that if I carry on the way I'm going, I could be her (she has four groups in all) 'Man of the Year' next July...Now that sounds like an incentive to me!
porkypaul
Full Member
Thank you for the birthday wishes all
Dec 2nd 2010
Well it's been a low-key birthday and that's putting it mildly. Claire's gone to work and the boys are all doing their own thing. I don't really like a fuss being made of me at the best of times (although that may change as the weight comes off lol) so I'm ok with the low-key thing.
Made myself the sin-free KFC tonight, which was rather yummy and, as I type, I'm cooking some sin-free rice pudding to have a little bit later.
Been fine with my food again today; Breakfast was the usual two pieces of fruit and lunch was a cheese/ham/red onion sarnie. Had a pack of Eat Smart snacks with lunch as well as some more fruit. I feel really stuffed after eating my dinner though.
I'm not sure if it's the weather or just me not concentrating enough but I don't feel I'm drinking any where near enough water. I only drank black coffee and diet pepsi (not together lol) yesterday and it's been the same today. It could be the reason why I'm feeling so full up and bloated, which obviously leads me feeling like I haven't lost a thing this week- all be the fact it's still only Thursday. Give it time Paul, give it time.
And what's with these bowel movements- or lack of them! (you see I can be polite)...Gone from two a day to two a week!
The 2nd Ashes test begins tonight so it's another five days of completely screwing up my body clock. That being said, it didn't do me any harm last week.
Ugh...Just pulled the sin free rice pudding from the oven and tasted it. I've just learned I don't like Vanilla Muller Light - bit of a shame. Think I'll save a HexA (milk) next time I make it. I have all the ingredients for a SW lemon meringue pie, which I may or may not make later. It's 6 sins per lump (recipe serves 4 people) which is kinda dangerous, given my love for this sort of pudding. Wondering if any of these SW desserts actually taste edible.
I did phone my little sister last night and told her how pleased and proud I am. She seems really determined now she's lost 3st 4lb.
A friend of mine, who lives some ninety miles away, is also on SW plan. She needs to lose ten stone or more and is struggling quite badly mentally. I'm phoning her on a regular basis and doing my upmost to encourage and help her but it's difficult when I can't get to see her. She put on three pounds this week but it's probably more to do with the way she's eating as opposed to what. She admitted to skipping breakfast, not eating until 2pm and only having a few of her sins. I've been on the phone again, had a long chat and she's promised to do it 100% this week. Said I'll go visit her in February, weighing-in at her meeting in the process.
During another moment of pondering, I asked myself what happens when the novelty of all this (SW) wears off a bit. When you start getting a little bit fed up with it because you're only losing 1/2lb a week or, even worse, STS. That's another 'acid-test' I'll face around January time. I'm lucky though because there is one person in particular on the MiniMins board who I'm a little in awe of. She's a real source of inspiration to a number of people, for both her weight-loss and encouragement she gives others. I may not post a great deal on the MM boards but I read most of the threads, new and old.
Went through all the pictures I have on my computer and managed to find one that I can use as a 'before' picture. I, like a lot of overweight people, managed to get good at being the one taking photos as opposed to being in them. I don't need to constantly look at this picture to give me motivation, although I may refer back to it if I start forgetting why I started this journey in the first place. It's quite strange how being overweight stops you from wanting your picture taken, yet seeing a picture of yourself is often the spark people need to start on a weight loss campaign.
It's snowing here at the moment, never had snow on my birthday before. Boys are getting excited thinking there's a day off school to come...we'll see, lol. Hoping it stops soon because it's shopping day for me tomorrow and I'm quite low on my supplies. Want to get the ingredients to make a huge stew if nothing else.
Dec 2nd 2010
Well it's been a low-key birthday and that's putting it mildly. Claire's gone to work and the boys are all doing their own thing. I don't really like a fuss being made of me at the best of times (although that may change as the weight comes off lol) so I'm ok with the low-key thing.
Made myself the sin-free KFC tonight, which was rather yummy and, as I type, I'm cooking some sin-free rice pudding to have a little bit later.
Been fine with my food again today; Breakfast was the usual two pieces of fruit and lunch was a cheese/ham/red onion sarnie. Had a pack of Eat Smart snacks with lunch as well as some more fruit. I feel really stuffed after eating my dinner though.
I'm not sure if it's the weather or just me not concentrating enough but I don't feel I'm drinking any where near enough water. I only drank black coffee and diet pepsi (not together lol) yesterday and it's been the same today. It could be the reason why I'm feeling so full up and bloated, which obviously leads me feeling like I haven't lost a thing this week- all be the fact it's still only Thursday. Give it time Paul, give it time.
And what's with these bowel movements- or lack of them! (you see I can be polite)...Gone from two a day to two a week!
The 2nd Ashes test begins tonight so it's another five days of completely screwing up my body clock. That being said, it didn't do me any harm last week.
Ugh...Just pulled the sin free rice pudding from the oven and tasted it. I've just learned I don't like Vanilla Muller Light - bit of a shame. Think I'll save a HexA (milk) next time I make it. I have all the ingredients for a SW lemon meringue pie, which I may or may not make later. It's 6 sins per lump (recipe serves 4 people) which is kinda dangerous, given my love for this sort of pudding. Wondering if any of these SW desserts actually taste edible.
I did phone my little sister last night and told her how pleased and proud I am. She seems really determined now she's lost 3st 4lb.
A friend of mine, who lives some ninety miles away, is also on SW plan. She needs to lose ten stone or more and is struggling quite badly mentally. I'm phoning her on a regular basis and doing my upmost to encourage and help her but it's difficult when I can't get to see her. She put on three pounds this week but it's probably more to do with the way she's eating as opposed to what. She admitted to skipping breakfast, not eating until 2pm and only having a few of her sins. I've been on the phone again, had a long chat and she's promised to do it 100% this week. Said I'll go visit her in February, weighing-in at her meeting in the process.
During another moment of pondering, I asked myself what happens when the novelty of all this (SW) wears off a bit. When you start getting a little bit fed up with it because you're only losing 1/2lb a week or, even worse, STS. That's another 'acid-test' I'll face around January time. I'm lucky though because there is one person in particular on the MiniMins board who I'm a little in awe of. She's a real source of inspiration to a number of people, for both her weight-loss and encouragement she gives others. I may not post a great deal on the MM boards but I read most of the threads, new and old.
Went through all the pictures I have on my computer and managed to find one that I can use as a 'before' picture. I, like a lot of overweight people, managed to get good at being the one taking photos as opposed to being in them. I don't need to constantly look at this picture to give me motivation, although I may refer back to it if I start forgetting why I started this journey in the first place. It's quite strange how being overweight stops you from wanting your picture taken, yet seeing a picture of yourself is often the spark people need to start on a weight loss campaign.
It's snowing here at the moment, never had snow on my birthday before. Boys are getting excited thinking there's a day off school to come...we'll see, lol. Hoping it stops soon because it's shopping day for me tomorrow and I'm quite low on my supplies. Want to get the ingredients to make a huge stew if nothing else.
Derbynanny
Gold Member
WOW an amazing diary. You are a very gifted writer and brave to put all your feelings out there. I can see I will be eagerly looking for updates.
Well done on your losses so far and Happy Birthday and good luck at next weigh in.
Teresa
Well done on your losses so far and Happy Birthday and good luck at next weigh in.
Teresa
Derbynanny
Gold Member
PS as for SW pudding recipes many of them are delicous...too delicous and I have to be aware when i make any of them that i may end up eating all of them ....did this with filo pastry apple and mince pies this week 1 syn each but sooooooooooo moreish I ate all 12 !
porkypaul
Full Member
Dec 4th 2010
Just cooked and eaten a lovely 'sin-free' spag bol topped with 28g cheese (HexA). There's loads left over as well. I am totally stuffed but still fancy eating one or two of the chocolate rice crispie cakes I've made with Nutella. Measured them out as 2 sins each and I haven't had one sin yet today but I'm not going to have any...Why? Because my body is telling me I'm full. This, if I think about it, is another example where I've gone wrong in the past. Eat something that's really nice, get to a point where I'm full up but there's still some, of what I've eaten, left...best I eat it then...and that's what I've always done but it's just wrong.
I'm going to talk about something in a minute which is probably going to annoy some people. It's something I wrote about during my last entry but ended up deleting it. I deleted it because I didn't want to upset anyone, didn't want anyone to think less of me and I didn't want people to jump down my throat. The trouble is, I'm not being honest by not writing it and I'm still worrying too much about people's opinion of me. If I'm not going to keep to the title of my diary then there's no point in me writing it.
Before I talk about it, I'm going to talk about how hard changing one's habits is. Quite obviously I like a lot of food which one shouldn't eat a lot of but I also adore eating cold food, food that's been cooked and gone cold. Obviously I draw the line at some point lol, cold brussels (as an example) have never been appealing but cold pizza is very near the top of my love list. So on Friday night when I went into the kitchen and came face to face with three slices of cold pepperoni (the eldest had left it) I faced a dilemma.
So there I was stood for a good two minutes with one side of my mind saying "Oh go on, have a piece you've been so good and one piece wont hurt." and the other side saying "Don't you dare, why spoil all your hard work. Even if it doesn't make a difference to your weight loss, it's still wrong." The latter thought won the day and therein lies my point.
SW (or any other 'diet') is not a miracle cure, there are no pills involved, there are no magic potions there is only mind over matter. I read the boards at Minimins and I listen to some of the other people in my group and I get so frustrated sometimes. I'll hear someone say about how cold it is and how the snow is so depressing, they then use that excuse to eat fifty sins for three days. If it's not the cold it's because their 3rd cousin, twice removed, has gone into hospital to have a bunion removed, or it could be that the cat's depressed because he's lost his favourite toy. Ok, so I jest a little but my point is this...it's 'any excuse' and as soon as they can find one to justify falling from the wagon they do so.
One of the lady's in the group I attend has, by her own admission, a great deal of weight to lose. A couple of weeks ago she was bemoaning the fact that she'd gained a pound. She went on to say that she'd been so good with all her meals but she did 'pick' in-between them all. Arrrgggg- what do you expect? SW works if you stick the plan but if you deviate away from it then it isn't going to, it's not rocket science.
Have I been hungry at any point during the last four weeks...of course I bloody have. Have I been tempted to 'fall off the wagon'...yes again. And have I thought food was the answer to curing a particular mood...yes once again. Some people would laugh at my cold pizza dilemma, they will never understand just how ****ing hard it was not to eat it. It wasn't the first time I've faced this and it is far from the last either.
What I'm constantly doing is telling myself this journey isn't going to be easy, I'm going to want to fail, I'm going to want to eat 'crap' and I'm going to want people to feel sorry for me BUT if I want it to work I'm going to have to turn my back on all of those things. This is a battle, a war and I can't fail just because something in my life doesn't happen exactly as I want it to. I know how difficult it is to remain focussed, I know how hard it is not to turn to food in time of any crisis but you either want to do this or you don't.
I have an infinite amount of admiration for anyone who has lost weight or who is losing it. To me, losing weight is (at the moment) a double-edged sword. People have asked me if I'm proud of what I've done thus far with my loses...whilst it is a good thing, there is part of me that says I shouldn't have been this fat in the first place so I find the praise a little difficult to take on board.
I did make the SW lemon meringue pie on Friday night. It was 'ok' I suppose but hardly the best dessert I've ever made or tasted but then again it was the prototype. As were the nutella rice crispie cakes I made. They haven't turned out like I'd hoped but it's fun trying all these new things.
Just cooked and eaten a lovely 'sin-free' spag bol topped with 28g cheese (HexA). There's loads left over as well. I am totally stuffed but still fancy eating one or two of the chocolate rice crispie cakes I've made with Nutella. Measured them out as 2 sins each and I haven't had one sin yet today but I'm not going to have any...Why? Because my body is telling me I'm full. This, if I think about it, is another example where I've gone wrong in the past. Eat something that's really nice, get to a point where I'm full up but there's still some, of what I've eaten, left...best I eat it then...and that's what I've always done but it's just wrong.
I'm going to talk about something in a minute which is probably going to annoy some people. It's something I wrote about during my last entry but ended up deleting it. I deleted it because I didn't want to upset anyone, didn't want anyone to think less of me and I didn't want people to jump down my throat. The trouble is, I'm not being honest by not writing it and I'm still worrying too much about people's opinion of me. If I'm not going to keep to the title of my diary then there's no point in me writing it.
Before I talk about it, I'm going to talk about how hard changing one's habits is. Quite obviously I like a lot of food which one shouldn't eat a lot of but I also adore eating cold food, food that's been cooked and gone cold. Obviously I draw the line at some point lol, cold brussels (as an example) have never been appealing but cold pizza is very near the top of my love list. So on Friday night when I went into the kitchen and came face to face with three slices of cold pepperoni (the eldest had left it) I faced a dilemma.
So there I was stood for a good two minutes with one side of my mind saying "Oh go on, have a piece you've been so good and one piece wont hurt." and the other side saying "Don't you dare, why spoil all your hard work. Even if it doesn't make a difference to your weight loss, it's still wrong." The latter thought won the day and therein lies my point.
SW (or any other 'diet') is not a miracle cure, there are no pills involved, there are no magic potions there is only mind over matter. I read the boards at Minimins and I listen to some of the other people in my group and I get so frustrated sometimes. I'll hear someone say about how cold it is and how the snow is so depressing, they then use that excuse to eat fifty sins for three days. If it's not the cold it's because their 3rd cousin, twice removed, has gone into hospital to have a bunion removed, or it could be that the cat's depressed because he's lost his favourite toy. Ok, so I jest a little but my point is this...it's 'any excuse' and as soon as they can find one to justify falling from the wagon they do so.
One of the lady's in the group I attend has, by her own admission, a great deal of weight to lose. A couple of weeks ago she was bemoaning the fact that she'd gained a pound. She went on to say that she'd been so good with all her meals but she did 'pick' in-between them all. Arrrgggg- what do you expect? SW works if you stick the plan but if you deviate away from it then it isn't going to, it's not rocket science.
Have I been hungry at any point during the last four weeks...of course I bloody have. Have I been tempted to 'fall off the wagon'...yes again. And have I thought food was the answer to curing a particular mood...yes once again. Some people would laugh at my cold pizza dilemma, they will never understand just how ****ing hard it was not to eat it. It wasn't the first time I've faced this and it is far from the last either.
What I'm constantly doing is telling myself this journey isn't going to be easy, I'm going to want to fail, I'm going to want to eat 'crap' and I'm going to want people to feel sorry for me BUT if I want it to work I'm going to have to turn my back on all of those things. This is a battle, a war and I can't fail just because something in my life doesn't happen exactly as I want it to. I know how difficult it is to remain focussed, I know how hard it is not to turn to food in time of any crisis but you either want to do this or you don't.
I have an infinite amount of admiration for anyone who has lost weight or who is losing it. To me, losing weight is (at the moment) a double-edged sword. People have asked me if I'm proud of what I've done thus far with my loses...whilst it is a good thing, there is part of me that says I shouldn't have been this fat in the first place so I find the praise a little difficult to take on board.
I did make the SW lemon meringue pie on Friday night. It was 'ok' I suppose but hardly the best dessert I've ever made or tasted but then again it was the prototype. As were the nutella rice crispie cakes I made. They haven't turned out like I'd hoped but it's fun trying all these new things.
Derbynanny
Gold Member
What a brave and thought provoking post !
Well done on avoiding the pizza. I have a lady in my group who doesn't have much to lose but always loses every week. When I asked her how she does it she said "i never cheat on slimming world because that would be cheating on myself" so simple but so easy to forget.
Good luck for the upcoming week
Teresa
Well done on avoiding the pizza. I have a lady in my group who doesn't have much to lose but always loses every week. When I asked her how she does it she said "i never cheat on slimming world because that would be cheating on myself" so simple but so easy to forget.
Good luck for the upcoming week
Teresa
