Big Boys Need Love Too!

Morning all!
Just thought I'd say a quick hello!
Hope everyone has a nice day!!!

~Silence~
 
:character00238: Good morning everyone :character00238:

Yes abz, you made it first to the post this morning. Well done.

Hi Silence - Good morning to you too.

It's Friday, weight in day - will be back on very soon with my results. I'm not expecting great things this week but as long as I evict the squatters and start next week with an sts I will be happy enough. I had a fabulous week in Ireland and will be pleased if I start my week in Cornwall the same weight as I was 2 weeks ago.

I am glad you are beginning to evict your squatters abz. It really is horrible to see the scales going up again (at least I had a really naught week to explain mine) especially when you are making great sacrifices for your weightloss.

I don't know enough about CD to make much comment about your meal. I couldn't even imagine limiting vital foods like brocoli. Those are the type of foods that work with the metabolism and provide anti-oxident properties for protection. Yesterday I started with grapefruit and porridge, and had a philli light and salad sandwich and activia yogurt for lunch. I was a little hungry while I was running round so I had a geo bar mid afternoon then I made a veggie chilli in the evening (good helping of rice and heaped tblsp of veggi chilli and a dish of home made fruit salad for desert. For me a new healthy lifestyle is just as important as the numbers and it seems to be working ok (better when I don't go away and find squatters).

Well done abz with the beginning of mass squatter eviction - they don't stand a chance from here on - go get em girl!

Busy day today cos I have to get everything ready for Cornwall tomorrow. This time I have to take all the electrics as I have an electro-accoustic solo session on Thursday night so there's a lot of planning to do to get everything in the car!

Have a lovely day abz, Silence and everyone :character00238:
 
Hi again guys
Right, weigh in - sts this week and no weigh in for another 2 weeks when, if all goes to plan that will be at least another sts. Good news though. I did an all singing dancing weigh in this morning with all the other stuff thrown in and found that my viceral fat has gone down by one point - great news, cos that's less fat round my vital organs. Those numbers are now knocking at the door of normal - how fantastic is that?

On the weight issue I have been doing some sums and realise that my average weightloss over the 11 weeks I have been doing this is 1.73 lb per week, going down to about 1 1/2 lb if I sts over the next 2 weeks. If I can continue averaging 1 1/2 lb per week that will be fantastic!
 
morning all....well I am glad abz..you seem to feel better and on your way back down again.

Gem...looking forwad to cornwall then? *LOL* well after such a good/naughty week it is good to drop the squatters. But you sound like you have your healthy eating well in hand.

Well ladies another big shocker again this morning...I have lost another pound yesterday. I am sure it is just form "fat theif" coming in an nicking a bit off me whilst I sleep. I can't figure it out. I was for sure I would have gained yesterday. But I was careful even though I had lunch out. So whilst technically it is only a 3 pound loss so far this week ( still have my WI on monday), I am counting the 2 squatters I had to evict on sunday from that yummy bread. So I have lost 5 in total as sunday I had the gain but my monday they were gone. So I am super chuffed at the minute. Even noticed that when I am standing up, when I look down I don't see my tummy anymore...just my boobs and gawd knows that ain't happened in a long time. Well, I am about to have some lunch as OH let me have a lay in and I missed breakfast. Speak to y'all later....take care

J
XX
 
Hi Girlies.

Sorry i haven't been around much lately, just been having a with of a boring week or so, where all i have done is look at computer things and watch DVD's. Not really felt like talking for some reason.

Well, just thought i would let you know i am not dead, still very much counting the days until i start my CD and moving back to university. Things are already moving forward, dad got me another big carry all so i don't have to use binbags and boxes so much now! (Thank god!)

Although found out today i have had a savings account since i was a brat thats been slowly building up interest without any of us knowing, which could not have come at a better time, so now i have £170 that i can put towards moving back to uni and getting set up, which is a big WHOOP! so am happy at that.

Just really want the days to stop dragging now because its getting really tedious lol.

Hope everyone is ok and doing well!

xx
 
Hey all! Sorry I'm late haha! Didn't have much time this morning to drop in as I started work at 0530 this morning. How is everyone today?
 
not bad taz....how was your night at work? Just finished on the wii fit I honestly recommend it to everyone....It is such good fun, I love the step aerobics on it...as well as the yoga...and I can honestly see and feel it is working. Noticed today I am getting my shape back. My sides are slimming and whilst I am an hour glass shaoe naturally....at the minute I am holding WAY too much sand....hahaha... But it feels good for once to see my hard work is showing.
 
It's been my first day back at work today and I'm so grateful it's the weekend. Just been a day of having to use my brain a lot. Luckily I bought all kinds of nice healthy things in Marks and Spencer yesterday so I don't have to work too hard when I get home!
 
howdy guys. well i just got home from an 11 hour shift at work. it's been both good and bad. boss started acting human again and having a joke with me which was brill. only for the others to let me down. they deleted an email from the boss listing stuff that needed doing which would have been fine if they had logged it with the rest of their projects, which they didn't. they are so **** at documenting things and this was while i was away. so there was no way i could have known about it and i had to go to the boss, who has only just started treating me like a person again and tell him i couldn't give him an update because i had no clue what he was on about... he was not happy. thankfully he seemed to realise it wasn't my fault but this has happened before. no wonder he treats me like i'm useless sometimes. he's a really nice guy which is why it's hard to ignore when he's off with you because it's hard to believe there isn't a reason. anyhoo, he's now off for a week. a well deserved week the amount of hours he's put in in the last couple of weeks. over 100 hours a week!! so hopefully he'll be more together. i have just scoffed most of my 810 meal and am about to have the rest. i'm really hungry. that's one thing i'd almost forgotten. cravings i have had masses of. but actual hunger... not really... sorry for the rant guys...

tyn. great to see you :)
glad you got rid of your squatters gem and jenn, looks like you are heading for the clouds with your weight loss!!

abz xx
 
Jenn, I don't work nights! I started at 0530 this morning. It was a real easy shift. I got a short day tomorrow, only 7 hours so that's good
 
7 hours is loads Taz. I hope you get some time off soon x

Jenn - send the weight theives my way, they might be useful next week x

Tyn - Lovely to see you back. Exciting stuff preparing for uni. Good luck with everything x

Wheels - Great that you're joining us - lovely to see you again x

Abz - I hope things get better for you soon. I so want you to succeed with your weightloss and be happy x
 
ah what a night I have had....very very emotional. I contacted some family members I haven't talked to for a while. Unfortunately, I have had to deal with some issues from my past and have now cut contections with my father. Not a nice thing, but i think the issues were long over due. I really feel quote bad at the minute and want to stuff my face...but won't. I have been crying for a while, but have managed to get myself into a decent state of being. It amazing how a clease of issues can take it out of you. But on one hand I am even closer to my mum ( who I speak to on almost a daily basis in the US) and it makes me appreciate the loving husband and LU I have. But it still hurts....hurts bad actually. But things had to be said. But at least this door is finally closed. NEVER to be reopened!! Not sure I will lose tomorrow as I have had 5 big bottles of smirnoff ice which I think is a rediculous amount of syns. Gem I could really use y ou at the moment, but sill you, you went to bed before 3am...LOL. Anyway y'all I will write in the morning, LU has been at his nana's today and is staying for the weekend, so I have some time to recover before I cover him with love to over come my grief. Anyway have a good day for all those who will be off to work.

J
 
Jenn, sorry to hear that. Sounds like you have had a very long night!

Morning all! Off to work again but I will be back later. Have a good start to the weekend everyone
 
:character00238: Good morning everyone :character00238:

Well, the sun has appeared so I am tentatively hopeful for my week in Cornwall. The deal is this - I took a sneak peek at the 5 day weather forecast and didn't like what I saw so I am not taking any notice of it. Things can change in Cornwall quite rapidly and right down southwest where we go it can change from coast to coast so I will keep the faith (Mr Bon Jovi taught me that!)

Jenn - What can I say? There are obviously some really important issues you had to confront and they have now come to a head. I know nothing about your relationship with your father but I do know this - It takes only a minute to become a father but it takes years of dedication to become a Dad. Unless he has fulfilled the job description your owe him nothing but half of your DNA. You have your reasons for closing the door on him and I am sure they are very sound. That, of course, doesn't make it any easier for you as the emotional pull is still there.

You are right to call it grief - there is a grieving process to go through with every ending but there is also a new dawn after every sunset. You have already identified where your sunshine rises. You have a loving OH and a lovely little boy. You and your OH are fulfilling the job description for this very lucky child and because of that he will never have to go through what you are going through at the moment.

Many parents expect unconditional love from their children although they have created situations which have damaged their offspring emotionally. That is unfair. Children do not ask to be born and the responsibility is on the parent - what happens later out of love and respect is a different matter. I don't believe I have a right as a parent to unconditional love and respect unless I have earned it.

It sounds like you have a lovely relationship with your mother. That is great. Go through the grieving process for the father you wish he had been and put it behind you. Don't let whatever sparked this off push you into binge eating - if you have closed the door on him you cannot let him still have a negative effect on your life. Take joy in your OH and LU and enjoy the liberation of taking your life into your hands. I am thinking of you Jenn. It is an awful situation to be in but you can come through - be strong x
 
oh jenn.. i'm sorry to hear that you feel pants. but from what you've said in the past it sounds like things needed to be said. after the grief will come relief from a burden you've been carrying around for some time. Take yourself through the process without feeling bad about it. think of you and your OH and your LU. you have an amazing family unit together. you helped build that and have given yourself amazing surroundings to do it in. like gem says, it's just half your dna. the rest is down to you.

i lost contact with my own dad for years and we now have a very tentative relationship. i know what it feels like to be battered emotionally and taken on every guilt trip imaginable by somebody who should be caring for you. i really feel for you. loads of love from this end babes.

abz xx
 
good morning gem. i'm just finishing my first hour at work. only nine to go...

i am trying to decide whether i should stay on the 810 plan for another week or move up to the 1000 plan after this week. the 1000 plan does allow a lot more food. less shakes and more fruit and salad. i would feel more like a normal person, but at the same time i am finding 810 a lot easier to stick to. so i don't know. what i do find confusing is that i'm now getting quite a few of the cd side effects that i didn't get going into ss, like cramp in my legs overnight and getting insanely cold... strange. i'll ask her all about it on monday in any case.

my hormones are still rampaging. i felt so pissy yesterday it was untrue. hoping that once this totm is over they'll calm down. i've never really been hormonal. these last two months have certainly been educational!!

how is everyone else doing this morning? think i'm going to settle down to brekkie :)

abz xx
 
Abz - I hate the sound of those symptoms. Cramps can be (though not necessarily) calcium deficiency and women need calcium to provent loss of bone density later in life. Please don't threaten your health for the cause, that would never be worth it. Only you can decide what is right for you and no-one else can tell you what to do. All I can say is think it through very carefully and decide what you want. Everyone will support you whatever you decide to do. You said you did well on SW, are you still considering that as a possibility? Jenn is happy doing SW and Starlight is AMAZING on WW. Listen to your body and hear what it is saying, after all it has to see you through a great many years yet. x
 
i know gem. i can't remember what causes it now but i seem to remember a glass of tonic water helps it or something. it doesn't actually develop into cramp, but i can feel it starting to twinge you know? don't worry though. i don't intend to risk my health. after all, that's what i'm doing all this for... it's possibly my body getting used to taking it's nutrients in different ways? if it happens again tonight i'll give my cdc a ring...

abz xx
 
:) Take care abz :)

:wave_cry: Bye everyone - I'm off to Cornwall now. See you in just over a week :)

:grouphugg:​
 
Gem & Abz...Thank you both for the comments. I know you both can sense what I was saying. There were a lot of issues with my father, but one imparticular which was horrendous and inexcuseable. But I know this did need to come to a head you as you say. I think about it this morning and I still feel a little sad, but I do still feel relief for not having it balancing over me! OH was really proud of me for finally saying all the things that needed to be said. My realtionship with my father was never that great, and we have gone many years without speaking. It was only through pressure from my brother that I felt it necessary to speak to him. Our relationship was very up and down and on egg shells. I was happy to just have a casual "hey how are you, just checkin you're still breathing!" kind of relationship. But as per usual he brings up his version of the past...the past which I was too young to understand or comprehend what was going on around me. But there is one thing I know for certain. One time which I could give detail beyond belief. He like to make out that he was some kind of perfect father until I was 8, but to be honest I don't remember much of him. The odd memories "good ones" were few and far between. The person I ran to was my mother. The one I felt protected by was my mother. Father...I could honestly say I have about 5 good memories of him. but they were overshadowed by the one really bad one. And I was never really allowed to come to terms with it in my own time. I mean don't get me wrong my mother wasn't perfect either. She had/has her bad points to. Being into my life a man who was emotionally and physically ( as times) abusive to not just her but me as well. And last night it all came out. May I just needed it finally. Maybe my mind was telling me to drop my issues so i could move on. I know that was the reason for my eating. It was the only thing I had control over in my life. So before talking to my dad I talked to my mother too. And I went over issues with her...and I think for the first time in my life she really understood my feelings, accepted what I was saying and didn't make excuses. She actually apologised to me for being a "bad mother". But she wsn't a bad mother, she just made soem poor choices, but I know she made them at the time because she thought it was right. I see that as an adult where I didn't at the time. They aren't the choices I would have made, not in a million years. I would leave anyone to include my OH if he ever layed a finger on me or my child. But he would never do that and would expect nothing less. But it was nice to finally settle that with my mother and after the blow up with my father ( which i didn't see coming as it was he who brought of past issues- which he tends to do), I called my mother, still angry...still emotional and spoke to her. And for the first time in a very long time, she let her defenses down and cried with me. She hates my father, hates what he did and said she would quite easily kill him with her bare hands if she could. And whilsts it is not a nice thing...it did make me feel better. Her tears cleansed me. I felt not too alone. Of course my OH was there and is and has always been supportive of me, I just needed that from my mother. And when she told me she loved me...I really felt it, I really knew it was true, and not habitual. But her and I are still close, I feel like the little wire fence that kept us separated has now been lifted. So, I am grateful. My only really issue that I need to deal with now is my step father. These years we get on rather well. He thinks the sun shines out my OH backside. And I know that in the past he has aplogised to my mother for his actions and the way he treaded me as a child, but he has never said anything to me. But hopefully next time I go home, this can be resolved and I will have kicked my baggage to the curb. *LOL*

Oh the good side, I have lost another pound and hoping that I will finally have a record loss this week, Since sunday I have lost 6lbs, but since my weigh in it is only 4, but I can deal with for. I am starving at the minute and am going to grab from yummy food. I am addicted to ryvitas. So as a bit of a treat I am going to eat all my allowance of food today, all the healthy extras ( but chill on the syns) having had enough sinces this week to last a month I don't want to put any weight back on.

Abz...as far as the cding goes, gem is right to just be careful. Are you drinking enough water? I drank loads yesterday, ( hahaha) water I mean, buy the alcohol dehydrated me and this morning I felt a few cramps just wanting to creep in. Make sure you are still drinking enough water. But definately speak to your cdc, going up the 1000, as long as you know the weight loss will decrease, than it shouldn't be an issue. But you are more than welcome to join SW. I love it. I love doing it online too. For me, I can see more choices than I ever did when I was reading the books, they are motivational, and it really makes you think about what you are eating as I keep on online diary and can go back and look at the weeks when I lose more and see what I was eating . Personally the red days seem to do it for me, but other's are green. And after cding, you realise how much freedom you have and since you are so used to not eating too much anyway, it works perfect. But that could just be me.

Anyway all...sorry to dump all this on you...it's not meant to be a sob story. I know I am a strong person, and inspite of the things that have happened to me in my life, they have made me who I am. So nah!!hahaha
 
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