Missed you as always. nice to see you pop up on my subs
xx
Mmmmm, subs
Oh, no, you don't mean that ... lol
Well, I met my new CDC and she was ok. I didn't really like her very much, nothing specific, perhaps it's because I've been where she is, I've been the one to dole out the advice, take the money and hand over the stock. I just felt like she thought me a failure when I told her how well I knew the diet etc and that I was a CDC once... the look on her face and the "why did you put it back on?" pretty much sealed the deal for me. So I told her... 3 years of utter crap and bereavement, upon bereavement... some folks drink alcohol,. some folks smoke, and some folks take drugs to help ease the $hite that life can throw at you... I turn to food.. simple as that. I don't think she truly understood, but then why would she, she is very young and probably enjoying the best years of her life so far... I think too that as she only lost 3 stone to get to goal, I don't feel she can truly empathise with the shock of a massive weight loss, and how hard it can be to cope with the body you are then left with... Or maybe I am just overly sensitive and in a really bad place mentally and can't see the good for the bad...
Whatever, I shall go as and when I have to and she will be a means to an end.. and I am damn well going to make it to the bitter end... not putting an unrealistic target on myself,,, just want to be back down in size 12-14 clothes again as I KNOW that's where I am totally at my happiest.
I went out this morning and bought some new biking jeans and a new crash helmet... the jeans will be good for a few months... and when I get to where I want to be I shall treat myself to some new leathers. I love getting out on my bike and just wish this rotten weather was better!
I've been a really depressed Dierdre of late - and just haven't been able to shake off the negative thoughts and feelings... but... today... getting into the kevlar jeans... albeit they are a size 24 ... (don't take any notice of that, I wear size 20 jeans and skirts... it's bike gear, it's horribly undersized!) ... made me feel MUCH better. So, am sitting here looking at the sky and wondering if I should just get out for a little while on Hattie (my lovely bike) or whether I should crack on with my monumental list! The thing is... I'm a bit lightheaded at the moment -probably because I'm on day 6 of the diet... so not sure if riding would be wise... although once on her... whooooooooooooosh!
Going to do a detailed weather google and make a decision... lol