Blergh! - FatFairNForty(ish) - my diary
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FatFairNForty(ish)
Gold Member
Well, I am logged on using my phone so will be fairly brief as my fingers are too podgy and my eyes too tired to type much tonight.
Re-started back on CD yesterday after spiralling out if control in November and piling back on a whole freaking shed load of the weight I'd battled to shift in those summer months.
Never mind, new year, new start.
I'm not entirely sure where to start... Since last I wrote in August, I've been taken on as permanent staff in a job I initially loved but now don't . I had plans to sell up and travel the world, but that's not going to happen as my lodger moved out over 3 months before anticipated and an ex boyfriend ( let's call him, Mr Unreliable) , said he'd lodge but has bailed out every time a date is set. So money is tighter than a foxes bum when chased by a baying pack!
All manner of stuff has gone wrong with the house: electrics, dishwasher, plumbing, decorating, lighting ...
Love life has been somewhat, erm, interesting ... Lol
Currently seeing a chap who I've known for almost 23 years! Will call him Grumpy... Or perhaps Edam - as he often doesn't communicate particularly well and it SERIOUSLY cheesed me off! Lol
My lovely bike is still lovely. My house is still cluttered up with oodles and oodles of my darling mums stuff. Her lovely wee dog was put to sleep last Friday, which sent me into an emotional weepy tailspin , but thankfully I pulled up out of that .
My last ex ( the one I think I named Shrek) has been a nightmare but I finds self in a tricky situation with him at the moment...
The ex who would've been my lodger, Mr Unreliable - still fancied me but he's messed me about so much - and I've told him straight - you had yer chance matey but blew it, BIG style ! Move along down the bus....
HUGE news though... My lovely younger daughter is going to have a baby, due on June 9th - a particularly good date for the birth of wonderful human beings - so I'M GOING TO BE A NANA!!!
Can't tell you how excited that makes me... The circle of life eh... So sad mum won't be here to ooh and ahh and coo and cuddle . I miss her dreadfully. Barely a day passes that I don't find myself thinking about her.
Anyway, Shrek's mum is in critical condition in hospital tonight... It's not looking good.. I feel so very sorry for him.. And for her too.
Finally, for now, I joined a Zumba class tonight ... Manic and really really hard work ... Will give it a few weeks and if I still can't do it then I shall just look for an alternative exercise class .
Tired now so will wish all a very good night xx
Re-started back on CD yesterday after spiralling out if control in November and piling back on a whole freaking shed load of the weight I'd battled to shift in those summer months.
Never mind, new year, new start.
I'm not entirely sure where to start... Since last I wrote in August, I've been taken on as permanent staff in a job I initially loved but now don't . I had plans to sell up and travel the world, but that's not going to happen as my lodger moved out over 3 months before anticipated and an ex boyfriend ( let's call him, Mr Unreliable) , said he'd lodge but has bailed out every time a date is set. So money is tighter than a foxes bum when chased by a baying pack!
All manner of stuff has gone wrong with the house: electrics, dishwasher, plumbing, decorating, lighting ...
Love life has been somewhat, erm, interesting ... Lol
Currently seeing a chap who I've known for almost 23 years! Will call him Grumpy... Or perhaps Edam - as he often doesn't communicate particularly well and it SERIOUSLY cheesed me off! Lol
My lovely bike is still lovely. My house is still cluttered up with oodles and oodles of my darling mums stuff. Her lovely wee dog was put to sleep last Friday, which sent me into an emotional weepy tailspin , but thankfully I pulled up out of that .
My last ex ( the one I think I named Shrek) has been a nightmare but I finds self in a tricky situation with him at the moment...
The ex who would've been my lodger, Mr Unreliable - still fancied me but he's messed me about so much - and I've told him straight - you had yer chance matey but blew it, BIG style ! Move along down the bus....
HUGE news though... My lovely younger daughter is going to have a baby, due on June 9th - a particularly good date for the birth of wonderful human beings - so I'M GOING TO BE A NANA!!!
Can't tell you how excited that makes me... The circle of life eh... So sad mum won't be here to ooh and ahh and coo and cuddle . I miss her dreadfully. Barely a day passes that I don't find myself thinking about her.
Anyway, Shrek's mum is in critical condition in hospital tonight... It's not looking good.. I feel so very sorry for him.. And for her too.
Finally, for now, I joined a Zumba class tonight ... Manic and really really hard work ... Will give it a few weeks and if I still can't do it then I shall just look for an alternative exercise class .
Tired now so will wish all a very good night xx
Sam25
Silver Member
Hi Jennie... I saw your fab news on fb...what a lovely thing to happen. I agree re good date to be born.... I am a June 7th baby lol.... It could arrive a couple of days early...
Hope you are doing ok on cd... I have not tried a vlcd for a long time but remember finding the first few days a doddle. Hope the same can be said for you lovey....
The mum thing is hard isn't it.... I cleared my mums house out on Saturday and it was really sad to see the house clearance company rooting through her things...she would have been mortified bless her... I did manage to pick up all her old photos and am going to make albums for each of her three grandchildren... Also.... I have had a gold necklace melted down by my Jewler and he is going to make cuff links for the boys to remember her with
). My husband was a bit miffed that I bought so much home for the attic but some things are of just too much sentimental value to be thrown away....
Anyway...just wanted to wish you well with the diet babe.....
Take care. X
Hope you are doing ok on cd... I have not tried a vlcd for a long time but remember finding the first few days a doddle. Hope the same can be said for you lovey....
The mum thing is hard isn't it.... I cleared my mums house out on Saturday and it was really sad to see the house clearance company rooting through her things...she would have been mortified bless her... I did manage to pick up all her old photos and am going to make albums for each of her three grandchildren... Also.... I have had a gold necklace melted down by my Jewler and he is going to make cuff links for the boys to remember her with
). My husband was a bit miffed that I bought so much home for the attic but some things are of just too much sentimental value to be thrown away....Anyway...just wanted to wish you well with the diet babe.....
Take care. X
Little Miss Biker
Member
Hi Jennie hope you don't mind me posting but I have been reading your diary . from the beginning for the last few weeks. I have laughed cried and cheered, followed your exploits with Eric, Shrek, Mr K, S, and cringed at blueeyes!!!
You have been a true inspiration and I have looked forward to logging on here of an evening and getting my Jennie fix!
I too am a biker and quite jealous of your classic, my classic needs work and my other one has a flat battery and needing a mot soon...
You have been a true inspiration and I have looked forward to logging on here of an evening and getting my Jennie fix!
I too am a biker and quite jealous of your classic, my classic needs work and my other one has a flat battery and needing a mot soon...
FatFairNForty(ish)
Gold Member
Yet again, I must apologise for lack of updates... It's been a hard few weeks..
Very very sadly , Shrek's mum died and it's been awful.
Long story which I won't go into just now, but it's been a tough time.
Diet out the window, work stressful, live life- Pah!
Utter sh1te... I find myself yet again shedding tears over a man... This time one who clearly couldn't give a toss about me.
I need to 'man up' and tell him where to go... For my own sake more than anything else.. Why am I not good enough to be treated like a proper girlfriend ?
Well, no more... Am tired and stressed out and trust me, homocidal if the opportunity presented itself !
Will bore you about it all another day... Feeling fat, frumpy and VERY unloved ...
Very very sadly , Shrek's mum died and it's been awful.
Long story which I won't go into just now, but it's been a tough time.
Diet out the window, work stressful, live life- Pah!
Utter sh1te... I find myself yet again shedding tears over a man... This time one who clearly couldn't give a toss about me.
I need to 'man up' and tell him where to go... For my own sake more than anything else.. Why am I not good enough to be treated like a proper girlfriend ?
Well, no more... Am tired and stressed out and trust me, homocidal if the opportunity presented itself !
Will bore you about it all another day... Feeling fat, frumpy and VERY unloved ...
Little Miss Biker
Member
Sorry to hear about Shreks Mum - that can only make the feelings about your own dear Mum so much more raw....
You're such a lovely person you deserve oodles of happiness and I truly hope you get that .....
Love n hugs x
You're such a lovely person you deserve oodles of happiness and I truly hope you get that .....
Love n hugs x
Itoy & Suerti
Life is what you make it
So happy you are back! sorry about the news of Shreks mum. Such sadness. Wishing you well. xx
FatFairNForty(ish)
Gold Member
Where to begin.... will try not to be too drepressing, so will get the negative out of the way first...
Shrek's mum dying has been awful. It brought back all my feelings and memories from when my darling mum was ill and dying and after.. so terribly, terribly sad.
Then, just as I'm kind of getting to grips with that, I got called into a meeting at work on Friday and was told they were laying me off because the business is in a mess financially.
So now, I'm once again on the employment scrapheap. It's not a good feeling, especially when, within half an hour of that, one of my colleagues swans into the office and tells me he has got a pay rise - what a real kick in the teeth! I'm going to wait and see if I get the 2 weeks 'redundancy' pay they promised me. Not going to hold my breath.
Got some major issues with daughter's fiancee. Can't really say too much other than that if he doesn't clean up his act I shall make damned sure he has no rights regarding her baby!
I'm totally worn out, wrung out, and fed up. Lovelife is challenging to say the least and weight is rising instead of reducing. I need to get a grip and turn things around, but to be absolutely honest, I'm beginning to feel I've got no fight left in me.
I'm hopefully going for an informal job interview at lunchtime today - there's the possibility of a temporary part-time job doing admin for a nursing home. Fingers crossed eh?
So much has gone on in my life since mum died and when I look back over my diary pages, I wonder if I shall ever find my va-va-voom again.
My grandchild is going to be a boy I just hope that nothing happens to my beautiful daughter or her little one as a result of her fiancee and his demons... if it does, I'll be writing updates from prison... and trust me.... I mean it.
Sorry - meant to be more positive but am struggling to see the 'silver lining' to all this - especially as it's sodding well snowing again.... think I might just get into some old clothes and check out the loft... see if I actually need or want the junk that's up there and if not, stick it all on freecycle or perhaps ebay?
Was thinking about seeing if I can get any kind of training to do something different... perhaps teach English as a second language overseas... but I can't be that far from my daughter and grandson....
I'm thinking maybe learning accountancy? Or a business admin qualification as I've got years of admin experience... Whatever I do, it has to be sitting down as my foot is getting worse each year...
I'm so tired... lots of little lumps popping up in lots of different places, and now back pain deep inside - just below right shoulder blade.. probably a pulled muscle.
I've applied for a few jobs but my heart's not really in it...
I need a miracle.
Shrek's mum dying has been awful. It brought back all my feelings and memories from when my darling mum was ill and dying and after.. so terribly, terribly sad.
Then, just as I'm kind of getting to grips with that, I got called into a meeting at work on Friday and was told they were laying me off because the business is in a mess financially.
So now, I'm once again on the employment scrapheap. It's not a good feeling, especially when, within half an hour of that, one of my colleagues swans into the office and tells me he has got a pay rise - what a real kick in the teeth! I'm going to wait and see if I get the 2 weeks 'redundancy' pay they promised me. Not going to hold my breath.
Got some major issues with daughter's fiancee. Can't really say too much other than that if he doesn't clean up his act I shall make damned sure he has no rights regarding her baby!
I'm totally worn out, wrung out, and fed up. Lovelife is challenging to say the least and weight is rising instead of reducing. I need to get a grip and turn things around, but to be absolutely honest, I'm beginning to feel I've got no fight left in me.
I'm hopefully going for an informal job interview at lunchtime today - there's the possibility of a temporary part-time job doing admin for a nursing home. Fingers crossed eh?
So much has gone on in my life since mum died and when I look back over my diary pages, I wonder if I shall ever find my va-va-voom again.
My grandchild is going to be a boy
I just hope that nothing happens to my beautiful daughter or her little one as a result of her fiancee and his demons... if it does, I'll be writing updates from prison... and trust me.... I mean it.Sorry - meant to be more positive but am struggling to see the 'silver lining' to all this - especially as it's sodding well snowing again.... think I might just get into some old clothes and check out the loft... see if I actually need or want the junk that's up there and if not, stick it all on freecycle or perhaps ebay?
Was thinking about seeing if I can get any kind of training to do something different... perhaps teach English as a second language overseas... but I can't be that far from my daughter and grandson....
I'm thinking maybe learning accountancy? Or a business admin qualification as I've got years of admin experience... Whatever I do, it has to be sitting down as my foot is getting worse each year...
I'm so tired... lots of little lumps popping up in lots of different places, and now back pain deep inside - just below right shoulder blade.. probably a pulled muscle.
I've applied for a few jobs but my heart's not really in it...
I need a miracle.
FatFairNForty(ish)
Gold Member
Feeling dreadful tonight. Feel utterly rejected by employers, agencies, so-called friends, and my chap and my family.
He hasn't spoken at all to me today and I had one text around 10.15 am which just said 'morning' and another a few minutes ago, saying goodnight I'm going to sleep!
I wouldn't mind but I've explained to him a billion times that, as we only see one another at weekends, communication in the week is vital .
With everything that's happened recently, plus I even sent a text saying it would be really lovely to speak before bed as its been a really tough day , he still hasn't bothered.
Right now if I had the chance, I would run away and just keep running.,. It's all just too, too much.
I can't do this any more...
He hasn't spoken at all to me today and I had one text around 10.15 am which just said 'morning' and another a few minutes ago, saying goodnight I'm going to sleep!
I wouldn't mind but I've explained to him a billion times that, as we only see one another at weekends, communication in the week is vital .
With everything that's happened recently, plus I even sent a text saying it would be really lovely to speak before bed as its been a really tough day , he still hasn't bothered.
Right now if I had the chance, I would run away and just keep running.,. It's all just too, too much.
I can't do this any more...
