Blergh! - FatFairNForty(ish) - my diary

thanks Mich, i was worrying too, like you no reply to texts & quiet on here, glad you're ok Jen, catch up later
xx:)
 
Sending u ((((big hugs ))) xxx
 
Jobs, loose ends, dad, worries, Mr K

Wednesday 7th February 2007

Hi all...

Firstly, my apologies for being away so long.. having read all your beautiful messages I don't quite know what to say..(but I'm sure I will think of something ;) )


Monday was a very bittersweet day, and I think it didn't help that my friend "R" is grieving too.. and there has been such a lot of talk in my life recently about bereavements.. so.. thank you ALL for caring and for saying such kind things too.

I am very happy about the weight loss - I can't believe it to be honest.. but I guess it will sink in someday! lol

Life has been pretty hectic - Monday (well, you all read about Monday).. and yesterday, (Tuesday 6th Feb) I had my interview first thing in the morning - I was a pile of nerves! For the first time in my life I wore a skirt that comes to just above the knee :eek: (pin stripe too!!) and a top that I've had hanging in my wardrobe since the 80's! lol It is lovely though - long white sleeves, white collar but black body to it which zips up. Sounds naff but is dead smart! I have to ask though- WHY do women wear skirts in the winter!!! There was only 20 denier between my flesh and the flaming ice!!! I thought my legs were going to fall off they were that frozen!!! :rolleyes: The skirt is a size 24 and was balancing on my hips whilst standing but, thanks to huge fat belly, was snug when I sat down). Looked ok though (Zoe said so ;) )

Still.. what should have been a 45 min interview turned into an hour and a quarter.. and then 45 minutes of test (which I think I blew!!!). The interview consisted of a panel of 2. One a director (didn't realise that at the time!!!) and t'other a manager. Both women, both great fun. lol I know you aren't supposed to have fun at interviews but somehow we did have a bit of a giggle!! It was dead serious too and I have to say, I was a bag of nerves both before and after! The thing is, I REALLY want this job. For so many reasons... 1) I believe I can do it 2) It's as local as my current job 3) the salary is just about sufficient for me to keep my home!

I won't know until Friday/Monday whether I was successful or not, :sigh: but either way, they looked like a brilliant people-orientated company to work for and with. :D If I don't get it I will at least be able to chalk it up to interview experience!! lol:)

Yesterday afternoon I had the gym - I seem to take longer every session, mind you, this time I did all the weights and machines I was supposed to.. so.. I guess that's why it now takes me almost 2 hours!:rolleyes: Not sure what I'll do if I get the job (about the gym) - will have a chat at my consultation appt at the gym tomorrow. Then, last night I had a very early night as I am seeing Mr K tonight :D :D :D and wanted to feel refreshed and more upbeat if possible.

Have shed some more tears for my dad again today (Wednesday 7th Feb):cry: - not usually like this.. I think maybe, because there is so much going on in my life at the moment I miss having him to advise me (not that I ever listened to his advice!! :rolleyes: ;) - I mean.. how many 20yr olds do!!!) .. and I wish he could see my girls and the wonderful young women they have turned out to be.. and I know... in some way.. some how.. he may well see them.. but how much lovelier if he was here in person to talk to and get support from.

I do think I am just being particularly thought-full this week.:rolleyes:

The job thing and my financial position is making me take stock big time.. and Mr K too..very much ... the relationship with him makes me want to do so many things.. like today, I had an overwhelming urge to contact C and make certain once and for all that I am totally over him.. does that make sense?:confused:

I want to give Mr K all of me (and I don't mean in a physical sense, well, :eek: maybe not right now..:rolleyes: but.. anyway.. you know what I mean..;) ).. I don't want any parts of my heart with C (the only one -cept Mr K - who really really impacted on my life since my ex) in or my ex.. or my late ex! (latex???:eek: :eek: ;) ) sorry - bad bad joke.. :rolleyes: Do you know what I mean?? :confused: :confused: :confused:

So, to this end, I called C just now.. to ask if I could see him and return the rings and to put a finality to things that there really wasn't when we split up (and considering when we did last speak he suggested meeting up for a chat..).

I was dead shocked when a woman answered the phone and asked who I was, so I told her, Jennie, (I have nothing to hide or be embarassed about) and she went into one at me!!! :eek: :eek:

She told me that he had changed his number and she was living with him and how dare I call him.. :mad: :mad: :mad: blah blah blah.. once she had stopped ranting and raving at me I told her, very honestly, and firmly:eek: , that I had absolutely NO idea there was even a woman in his life, that I most certainly did NOT know he was living with someone and had I known then I would NEVER have called him as I am a woman of morals and values, and, if she knew me she would know that was the case, and C would know that about me too! (by this time I was getting cross because I wondered what the hell he could have said about me to make her so vitriolic!!:confused: ) I told her that I was absolutely delighted for him that he was happy and living with someone and that I wished them both all the happiness in the world together. (AND I MEANT IT!!) She did seem somewhat taken aback and I think she got the message! lol (Perhaps she didn't bank on an intelligent and calm response to her tirade!) I can only think that he spun her some tale about me.. but I have no idea why.. (although she mentioned checking his phone - which must have been that one time - flippin months ago - that I rang him by accident (thought it was my ex as my mum was about to take him to court... ) PLUS I haven't seen the man in over 8 months!! .. :eek: and when I spoke to him a few months ago (accidentally) I did ask (as did he of me) if he was with anyone and he said 'no, well sort of on and off'.. so how the heck was I supposed to know! lolol I'm not a friggin' mind reader! lol:rolleyes: :eek: :mad:

In any case, am glad I did call and that she got to know that I am not some kind of nutter and genuinely had no idea about her.. lololol.. PLUS that DID make it final for me.. as I AM happy that he is with her..:) I can kinda see her point too though - if I was with someone and his ex rang and he had spun me a line.. then I would probably go into one too!! Mind you.. she was a lot calmer by the time I rang off :) (I ended the call very politely but calmly - ahh the control! ;))

So, clearly that's another part of my heart that Mr K can now very happily occupy should he wish to.. (he already occupies almost all of it!!;) :D (can't say all as I love lots of people :D , but you get the picture I'm sure).:p and when I see him later this evening, it will be with a lighter heart and that can only be a good thing. :) No point being half-or partially - hearted in a relationship (I don't think so anyway - all or nothing.. that's me) :eek: :rolleyes:

I do hope this all makes sense :confused: and I'm not just living in a strange kind of twilight zone here where no-one else would want to tie up the loose ends this way!!! :rolleyes: :eek:

I have no other 'romantic' loose ends to deal with, thank goodness!! Don't think I would appreciate another ranting woman on the phone to me when I've done beggar all wrong!! lolololol
 
Also this week.. I have loads of preparation to do for a big meeting tomorrow night, and to be honest.. given the way things are right now at work, I don't feel very motivated to do it.. but.. I have brought it home to work on before I go out this evening.. and will see how far I get with it. I don't want to attend the meeting, and, as it is outside of my contracted hours, I don't feel compelled to attend! :eek: (Got the hump basically about the no overtime payable decision.. lol).. but I will probably huff and puff and moan :mad: and then just get stuck in and go! lol I'm not really a dragon - honest!:eek: :rolleyes:

I think I mentioned on Sunday's post about the lady in church who offered to take in my coat for me.. :confused: well.. I went to see her this afternoon and she has taken it in 6 inches and, having seen me in it again has decided to take it in another 6.. lol.. and shorten the sleeves.. lololol.. AND., bless her, all for the princely sum of £5 :eek: :D :eek: !!!!

I was stunned - I thought it would be at least £30.. but no.. she said she couldn't bear the sight of me in a coat that was way too big.. :rolleyes: :eek: :p lololol (bless her).. so I pick up the finished article either Saturday or Sunday.

I'm thinking of going to see my mate Lynda in St Albans on Friday night so Sat afternoon would be ok... out Sat night at a gig (can't wait!).. and, as I am home.. Sunday morning will be church again. It was so lovely this Sunday that I realised how much I've missed it (used to go every week). Perhaps that's another reason for my emotions being a bit woolly at the moment.. :)

Anyway.. was supposed to be going to an interview in Corby at 5.20pm but I've decided not to.. just feel like it's too far to go for a part-time role.. and to be honest.. I think , if I am realistic, a full time job will be the best for me.

So... better get on with some work and then get ready to see Mr K!:D :D
 
Glad you're ok Jennie - keeping fingers crossed for your interview result.

Have a fantastic-wonderful-amazing-brilliant evening with Mr K :)
xx
 
hi hun, hope you have a lovely evening tonight.
glad all is ok with you as its not like you to leave it so long between posts, but you've been busy.
xx:)
 
Our date - special evening..

Good morning :D

I am so tired this morning - met Mr K in the car park of our now 'local' pub :D He told me that he had booked himself into a local hotel as he wanted to spend longer with me than ever before.. I was excited and nervous all at the same time.:eek: :rolleyes:

So - we spent most of the evening in the pub... and then.. we went to his hotel. I rang Zoe to tell her I would be home very very late so not to wait up :eek:

I know you will find it difficult to believe but we actually spent most of the night talking and cuddling.. and I cried whilst talking about my dad and how he would love Mr K, and, bless him, he kissed my tears...... I've never had any man do that before.. it was such an act of tenderness.. there were lots of other acts of tenderness too.

All I can say is this - we spent a fabulous evening together and, well, instead of my morning wake up phone call from Mr K... he simply kissed me and whispered it in my ear ...:eek: :)

So now... Mr K and I have moved on another level in our relationship and I have a mass of mixed feelings running riot in my heart and head.. but the overwhelming ones are all happy ones and, despite only having about 2 hours of sleep, I am smiling and feeling very very good about life.:eek: :D

It was very difficult to say good bye this morning but next week and our Valentines night (Thursday) will be even more special I think.. :)

Today is going to be another mad day - work, gym, appointment with the nurse and then, if I go, the meeting this evening.

I'm praying it will snow (no sign yet) and that the meeting will be cancelled.. otherwise I think I will need matchsticks!!!
(and a way of taking this big cheesy grin off my face!!) lol
 
I should've looked out of the window before I mentioned snow - it is mad! There is loads of the stuff - took me ages to drive the 7 miles to work and I can honestly say - if it doesn't stop then I might have a few problems getting out of the car park - let alone on the roads home!!! It must be at least 4 or 5 inches deep already and I confess... as I was the first one in my road to walk on it, I did a little dance.. lololol (hope none of the neighbours were watching!!!)

:D :D :D :D :D :D :D :D :D :D indeed Pandora ... (hee hee hee)
 
well - who said prayers never get answered!!!:confused: ;) :D lololol

Meeting cancelled!! YIPPEEEEEEE!!! :D :D :D :D

So - another hour and half and I can head (very very cautiously) home! Taking work with me as boss has said the snow will freeze and compact tonight so not to come in tomorrow morning if that's the case! Only prob is I have the accountants coming in so, unless I can cancel him, then I have to be here anyway!

(Hope I can get car out of the car park:eek: - it's already covered and the tyre tracks vanishing beneath the fresh stuff! )


Oh.. hope my post about my date wasn't inappropriate in any way..:eek: :eek: :eek:
 
Not at all Jennie, the opposite, and it's warmed my heart on this cold day and I'm sat here with tears in my eyes and a big grin on my face. You wrote it beautifully as always and not at all inappropriate. I'm so thrilled for you.

Take care in that snow today, glad you haven't got to go too far today, I'm staying home, snuggled up next to the computer.
 
You must log in or register to reply here.

Similar threads

S
Decided to try Mounjaro
Replies
3
Views
441
AliGal
AliGal
Y
Weight loss journey intro -
Replies
5
Views
2K
Zafira
Zafira
F
Getting fit for 40! My diary (feel free to join me)
Replies
13
Views
3K
AliGal
AliGal
Cheekypasterfield
Live, Love, Eat & Repeat
Replies
6
Views
1K
Cheekypasterfield
Cheekypasterfield
goose
Goose's final road to goal
2
Replies
35
Views
6K
goose
goose
Back
Top