Blonde Logic's Stream of Consciousness/Diary

[SweetySuperstar]

BL I think you are one of the most, if not the most, inspirational person I have ever come across!! Have you considered becoming a LLC? I think you would be fantastic!! xx

 

[nina]

as the others have said -- you r a super gal! thank you for continuing to share your experiences and your journey...

 

[Carolanski]

What a journey - you really are an inspirational woman - for all of us, whatever our diet of choice.

This is where the real journey begins and I sure you will enjoy every second of it.

Carol x

 

[Blonde Logic]

Thank you SO much al of you....I will have you know, you have made me tear up and cry!!! people at work are looking at me funny!!!

I am so proud when people say I inspire them. I generally don't outwardly acknowledge that because truthfully I feel a bit embarassed. I am just me, a simple woman who has finally found the life I have been longing for, but I am no better or worse then anyone, I just try and call it as I see it. I am pleased and proud if it is an inspiration to anyone! Those who have said that to me, thatnk you very much. I do really appreciate it, and it makes me feel quite good. So, thank you.

It is everyone here who has inspired me!!! I could not have done this without you all.

Thanks so much - I just really appreciate all you said.

 

[KD]

Oh my BL. What a fantastic post!! Really echoed a lot of the thoughts I had whilst on my way to slimmerdom.

Wow!

 

[Blonde Logic]

Thanks KD. I know we oten all strike each others chords - we've all been through it, ay?

You've been an inspiration to me from the start - seeing you maintain has been something that has been logged right there in my mind - that it CAN be done! So - thanks KD!! I just wish I could have met ou in Brighton last week to say thanks in person.

In any event - thanks for your comments, support and good tips and advice along the way. I remember more then one or two good debates with you !!

XX

 

[karmawitch]

Blonde - I've only just started LL, and am starting to read your blog, so far it is truly amazing and I wish I could write like you. So much of what you say resonates with me, particulary loosing your dad at xmas, I lost mine on Xmas Eve, was living in California at the time. Long story.

Anyway, hope to get through your blog over the next couple of days, you have done so amazingly well !!!

 

[Blonde Logic]

Thank you Karma. Sorry about your dad too.

WHere abouts in California were you living? That's where I am from (not sure if you know that?)

x

 

[karmawitch]

Hey Blonde, I lived in the Bay area of SF in a place called Orinda, then moved down to Orange County and also lived in Laguna Beach.

Where are you from? Looking forward to reading more of your blog today

 

[Blonde Logic]

OH. MY. GOD!!!!

I was born and raised in Lafayette!!! The house I grew up on, on Acalanes Road - right off HWY 24, is about 10 seconds from the Orinda border!!!


What a SMALL WORLD!!!

I feel like you are family now!

 

[Tange]

Hi Jan,

That last post about your contentment and happiness is so very very much where I am right now.
I hope you build the same excitement around RTM as you did the start of this diet. Knowing you Mrs, I know you will sail through without breaking any rules. Embrace this new beginning.
Its a wonderful adventure.

 

[karmawitch]

Bloody Hell !! I know Lafayette well too!!! I lived there in the early 80's and we used to always go see a band play - with Ken Cooper and Dan DeShara, will try to remember where, but I'm still in touch with Dan DeShara from the band

 

[karmawitch]

Hope you're ok BL, not seen you around, hope I didn't freak you out too much with the Orinda/Lafayetter thing - hope we get to chat at some point !!

 

[Blonde Logic]

Hi Karma - I'm great! No worries. Just busy these past several days working on some projects.....

lol, I think its cool you lived in Orinda and Lafayette! Didn't freak me out at all!!!

I'm off to bed - have an early day tomorrow!!!

 

[Blonde Logic]

Hi - ya know, I can't really tell you - i only did one thought record and that was very early on, in group, etc. Maybe if you post in the forum, I am sure someone will be able to answer it for you.

x

 

[Blonde Logic]

Don't worry about posting too many threads! I don't think many people look in here regularly - so questions might be missed...mostly just my ramblings here, and all.

Having a good weekend! THanks!!

 

[minilady]

Hi Jan

Just checked out your latest progress pics (sorry I know they were posted a while ago and I'm a bit behind the times) You look fabulous It's amazing what you have achieved this past year, not just losing the weight but the emotional barriers you have broken too. I am truely in awe, you're a fantastic lady and it's been wonderful watching your journey!

Hope you're well and life is good

Tracey
xxx

 

[Blonde Logic]

Hi Tracey!!

THank you so much. It's really nice to see you - I've missed you!! I think about you a lot and wonder what you are up to! I just never get around other parts of the forum very often.

THanks for your comments. It has been one helluva ride indeed. I can't really believe it myself! Feel all the better for it - inside and out. Tis a wonderful thing.

THanks hon!!!

Still really hope to see you at a meet one day!

xx

 

[Blonde Logic]

Just copying my last weekly stat page of my signature as will be deleting it tomorrow when I start RTM. Want to keep it for posperity! I think I saved m y one from Foundation too?

anyway - just ignore!

Move along - move al ong - nothing to see here...


Inches Lost: 28.25

Week 15: -.08
Week 16: -4.4 :chores016:
Week 17: -2.6 :wavey:
Week 18: -1.1
Week 19 to 22: hols
Week 23: -19.8 :talk017:
Week 24: - 2.5 arty0011:
Week 25: - 4.6 :massmoon:
Week 26: - 0.8
Week 27: - 0.6
Week 28: - 0.3 :sigh:
Week 29: - 7.5 arty0049: 100 pounds GONE!!!
Week 30: - 1.1 :crazy:
Week 31: - 3.3 :flowers:
Week 32: -2.8 rincess:
Week 33: -2.5 arty0011:
Week 34: -0.8
Week 35: -3.7
Week 36: -2.9 :queen:
Week 37: -2.6 :character00238:

Lapses to date: 0

GOALS:

*To lose my final 3 stone - 2.25 gone, 3/4 to go!
*To abstain 100% while on hols in USA for 1 month NAILED IT!!!

 

[Blonde Logic]

Well, here it is. The eve of my last day on Ligter Life Abstainance. In just 8 months, 2 weeks and 6 days, I have acheived, what for the past 25+ years has been a painful, unobtainable, insurmountable impossible task.

I have lost just 10 stone!!! I have actually, flippen lost an entire human!! As of today,
I have lost 15 3/4 inches from my chest; 18 inches from my waist; and 17 inches from my hips.
A total of 50 and 3/4 inches!!! I'd take that to the bank!

Three weeks into the diet - I took note of some other measurements, and the losses there have been phenomonal too:

Under bust (wear bra strap sits) - Lost 10.5 inches
Thighs - lost 9 inches. (EACH!!)
Arms - lost 4 inches. (Each again!!)
Neck - lost 2.5 inches
Calves - lost 2 inches ANother 28 inches!!

As of tonight, my BMI has gone from 44.7 to 25.2, and I am very nearly "normal".

This has been the most amazing journey of discovery. Not just about food. But about me. And others. And the past, and all the collected emotional baggage that I've hoiked around on my back, literally, for years and years and years.

There have been lots of tears along the way. What surprised me most, is there have been more tears of joy rather then sadness. SUre, there were tears of sadness. But without realising it, suddenly - those tears finally ran out, and while rediscovering who has been buried under that horrible, heavy, cumbersom weight all these years, they were replaced with spontaneous and frequent tears of joy. As if I had been reunited with an old old friend I hadn't seen for years. Which, really is what has happened.

It has been hard work. I have worked through serious issues with guilt, grief, regret, loss, and so much more. I am sure each of those words weighs at least 20 pounds.

Looking back on old photos - I can't believe how much I hated myself - to left me get what I was like. I will never do that again. THat is a sad thing, to hate ones self. And today - to be able to say I love myself - (its still doesn't always just flow, but it's getting easier!! LOL) And truer.

I expect there will be days throughout the rest of my life I will shed a tear or two when I look back on all this. All that it took to get me to the place I was when I began LL, and then all it took to get me to theplace I am at now, nearing the final phase of LL. There is a lot of pain tied up with ever pound lost. The fat is gone. THe memories will always be there. Unfortunately there is no work good enough to erase memories. But they are at long last, filed away in the SORTED pile of my head. What an undescribable relief. A dream has come true.

It is the best thing I have ever done for myself, and it is my best acheivement.

My goal now, is to re-enter the world of food, and seeing it with my new eyes, smelling it with my new nose, tating it with my new mouth - but most importantly - thinking about it with my new head. But I feel confident and know who will be in charge.

I no longer need to use food as a drug, or to punish myself, or to numb myself. ANd that - is just the best feeling in the world.

Well, here's to the next chapter! Onward and downward as they say.

Still lovin' the ride, after all these months.