ProPoints CarlyLanky140's Weight Loss Journey (28/155lbs)

U can do it :) we all can and will!! Xx
 
I'm feeling quite emotional today. I was teary when reading the WW mag earlier. This eve I had a long chat with a good friend and now I'm just feeling lost!

I still feel really positive and kno that with WW this will be the last time! But part of me remembers the hundred times I've promised this before!

I'm that girl who drinks to get drunk to feel less self conscious - it either ends with a fab night or with tears... I'm sick of it! I don't want people to dread spending time with me... I hate people shouting abuse at me in the streets for my size... It's like I've been bullied for most of my life

I became fat and fussy in secondary school! I lost weight around 17/18 and was just over 9 stone! Even then I felt fat.... But I was happy... Then uni and post grad and I thought I had the best friends ever but I dont speak to any of them! I have a list of friends but feel alone!

Even my best friend only sees me very occasionally! I have to arrange things if I don't wanna sit in alone... Why am o never on the guest list?!

This is a long ramble about nothing... The point is I need to feel special and like I matter before anyone else will! I feel so miserable on nights out lately that I now want to avoid them! I think I'm no fun and need to stop spending so much time on my phone when I'm actually with people!

I need to stop making food the good bit of my day to look forward to! I need to fit the gym in to avoid guilt and increase happy hormone! I need to get to bed so I'm not always tired! I need to do reading for work so I'm more confident in my ability - at least until I get confidence in my appearance....

I can't wait to buy a nice suit from a posh shop... And to shop in top shop!

So thats a lot of things to work on... Not to mention the need to work on my fussy eating...

So basically feeling sorry for myself and like I've wasted so many of what should have been the happiest years! No more! I can do this... And when I'm happy, confident and fun then maybe people will want me to be their friend!!

Going to bed :) xx
 
Love reading your posts, i can so relate to you!! Well the social bit anyways. In a year or so time, i'm gunna be a social butterfly lol x
 
Thanks ladies! I will be a social butterfly :) x
 
Thanks hun x
 
I'll come to Topshop with you! I used to work at Etam, (Tammy Girl) which was bought out by the owners of Topshop, Evans, and Burtons etc, and when they relocated the staff, the regional manager took one look at me (size 20 at the time) and said "No, I think we'll put you in Evans, dear"... Condescending barsteward... Anyway, one day, ONE DAY! I will have my Facebook status as "Jenny is wearing TOPSHOP JEANS"... It might take a while, I'm a 22-24 now, was a 30 at my biggest, but we'll get there!! And you will be a damn sexy solicitor in a designer suit. Well maybe not designer, you're probably too sensible to spend stupid money on work clothes.. :D

I totally understand where you come from, with the drinking to be social and that. I was the same, now I live in the middle of nowhere in the countryside, and rarely drink because I can't get home afterwards, public transport is non-existant after 10pm and I aint going home that early :p I totally understand the whole feeling rubbish on a night out, but this is the turning point. Lets face it chick, we want to lose a few stone each. This did not jump on overnight, it sure as hell aint gonna fall off overnight, and I am guilty myself of having a one lb loss in one week, and thinking F*** it, I want to lose 7 stone altogether, 1lb is NOTHING... But it's a start. It's in the right direction, and I am training myself to look at it over a month a time, rather than a weekly weigh in. One lb seems like nothing if I have a negative head on, but over a year, 1lb a week is nearly 4 stone. Soon adds up.
Anyway, I've just burst into your diary, started babbling a load of rubbish at you...... Sorry about that!!! :p

I also feel the need to get to a gym. 2 days a week I'm aiming for, plus a 30 minute walk every day... Scary stuff. I signed up to do the Race for Life too, I don't really know why I did that, succumbed to the marketing I suppose, but I'll be doing the Couch to 5K programme in preparation for that. It claims to get the laziest person in the world off the sofa and jogging 5km in a 9 week training program... Well it's worth a shot, if it works with me, it's bloomin good, I tell ya... :)

Hope you have a fab day today. What are your plans? How are you getting on with the veggies and fruit? What is it, the taste, or the texture, or the thought that stops you? :) x
 
Hi hun :) thanks for sharing! :) we will show her we are NOT Evans we are topshop girls! :)

Yup I think that month by month is the best way :) where do u live hun? I can't wait to shop in primark... Maybe not a designer suit but probably John Lewis/ house of Fraser somewhere nice for once not cheap Asda ones :)

Forgotten what day u get weighed hun... It's weds I get weighed... Hope that I do well on wed - I've been good :) hope I do ok at this meal tonight

Off to gym/swim now to try and do my first c25k - I signed up for race for life too... Xx
 
hiya,

I think its great you are assessing your life, even if it depresses you a bit. Its really good to reflect on what needs to change and how you are going to do it - success doesnt happen by accident... it happens with progress through effort and work. Seems to me thats exactly what you are doing... good on ya! xxx
 
Hi,

What you're doing is incredibly brave, did you know that? So many people blunder along in life, not really happy but not unhappy enough to face up and change things. You've done just that, and now you're making some amazing changes.

Well done on the running, that is something i just cannot do, never could even when i was at goal and mega fit! Enjoy the journey x
 
Thanks guys :) I couldn't face running so I just did an hour in the pool :) c
 
Any sneaky bit of activity helps, well done!
 
lanky140 said:
Hi hun :) thanks for sharing! :) we will show her we are NOT Evans we are topshop girls! :)

Yup I think that month by month is the best way :) where do u live hun? I can't wait to shop in primark... Maybe not a designer suit but probably John Lewis/ house of Fraser somewhere nice for once not cheap Asda ones :)

Forgotten what day u get weighed hun... It's weds I get weighed... Hope that I do well on wed - I've been good :) hope I do ok at this meal tonight

Off to gym/swim now to try and do my first c25k - I signed up for race for life too... Xx
Click to expand...

Damn right! Well done on your swim, I bet that was nice given how warm it was today!!

My weigh in is a wednesday, though I havent been Weighing in every single week recently. Must get better at this..! I'm up in Aberdeen in the countryside at the moment, originally from England though and have moved around a bit. Been here for 3 years though, think I might be settled :eek:

Oooh well done you on the Race for Life! When is your race? I'm the 3rd July, hoping to be able to jog half and walk half. Have you got someone to do it with, or is it just you? I wanted to do mine myself but Mum has decided she's coming with me!!!

Hope you have had a good Monday! Bring on Tuesday, it will be a good day!!!!x
 
Heya :)
Only just found this diary as i haven't made 50posts yet so can't search or see profiles etc.
Wow i just associate with So much in your posts - i want to write a big reply but i'm ill so will be quick!
I think you are doing an amazing job... i know what you mean with the social thing soooo much - i've let my weight stop me going out so many times & i hate that!
I also don't see my friend as often as i used to - i live further away from them now - and it does get so lonely when all you want to do is pop round for a cuppa & a big old chat... but you can't.
That's why this board is helping me so much - even though it's not face to face it feels like there really are people here that want to spend time getting to know you & support you :)

Arg sorry for the waffling on!

Good luck with your weigh in this week hun :)

CGx
 
Thanks Moffgal!

Auburn - I ended up doing an hour and a half on just dance on the wii as was feeling guilty after my tea out lol.... I am a weds weigher too :) ooooo no not settled ;) I am doing it with the girls from my old work (including my younger sis) - a friend of mine's dad died of cancer and her mum is sick so she asked us all to do it... I have done it once before... I reckon we will walk it although I do aim to get into C25k and be able to jog it even if i don't.... it's 10th July :) Hope u have a good day and good luck on Wed

CG - long time no see!! good luck with ur wi too.. it's nice to be able to chat to u :) xxx
 
Feeling like I'm quite negative on here... Regularly post elsewhere abs food diary but need to update this too... Only seem to post when I'm feeling crappy... And I am today :( been hungry all day, tired and lazy and bad head.... Hoping for a better day tomorrow x
 
I think most people had a bad day yesterday as it was back to work from a long weekend.... today should be better, have a happy Wednesday!!! x
 
Thanks hun :) x
 
Lost 3.5lb :) got first silver 7 :D x
 
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