Hello anyone who follows this thread
Just a bit of an update...
In any one stint on a diet the most I have lost is two stone before putting it and more back on.. and more recently on SW the lowest I got was 18 stone 7 so I can't wait to break that barrier and prove to myself I can do it...
Breaking a barrier this week too - I started SW a couple of years ago and never managed to be good for more than two weeks in a row.. now I am on ww I am confident that it can fit around my life (and I can still be sociable!) and so I am pushing through my third week...
Bizarrely despite that fact I love routine I find being at work harder to diet - what with the cake for peoples birthdays and the fact I am hungry by 10.00... but I have decided that I need to make more filling choices for brekkie and lunch and that this will help...
I am still desperate to work on eating more food but know that I am putting so much pressure on myself that I can't face it... so I think I need to take one day of one week at a time and maybe aim to try one thing every day for a whole week...
I also really want to start C25k but couldn't face doing this outside on the roads in front of people... I am a member of a gym and also have spent a lot on a wii and some games - and at the mo I am very busy and angry at myself for wasting money - I need to go to gym and use wii!!! I think I need smaller targets tho coz I always expect too much too soon of myself...
I am feeling in control of food (even though there are issues as to fruit/veg/fish etc)
I was on antidepressants for over 3 years and decided that 2011 would be my year - again I set my targets too high but one thing I have managed is to come of the tablets all by myself.. I do have my low days (this week has been a full week of them!) but I know I am a stronger person!
I also want to save money for car/ house - so far I have a credit card to pay off and money is a massive stress - but I am a fully qualified solicitors in June and so I am hoping the pay rise (unsure of amount?!) will help out and I may be able to start saving... I also want to go to New York - it is the only place I want to visit - and want to do it when I am slim - am thinking of saving up to take my best friend as a surprise hen do...
I am her bridesmaid in August next year and so I would like to be at goal (or near) - I don't want to let her or me down - the other bridesmaid is a stunning size 8 and I will not be the fat lass in the piccies!! My only concern is that she will want to buy dresses soon - but she has said she just wants us in same colour and not necessarily style so may persuade her to wait - if worst comes to worst I could get one made nearer time if nothing in the colour....
So money/ sharing house with family (small fridge / freezer so constant arguments about me buying food - which incidentally is costing a lot at mo - although probs not as much as all the meals out I used to have) etc all stressful
I love my job - but feel a bit out of my depth right now especially as I will be in court as of June - so over the next few weeks I somehow need to fit in eating, working long hours, more exercise and loads of reading haha... and try to see my friends (who can also be a source of frustration - I always have to make the effort....)
This must seem very rambling and negative but it feels like a blog/ diary when I can just get it all of my chest.
I genuinely am a lucky girl to have met some lovely people on here who I know will support me all the way through this journey - and I am going to reach my goal this time!! I am a lucky girl coz I have a job and I do have some great friends (even if they are busy/hopeless)! Everything is fixable and controllable and I CAN DO THIS!
If anyone made it this far I am impressed lol... Much love
xx