carries final journey (she hopes)

[carrieclaus]

day 2 of 7 day restart and i was soo moody last night, had to go off to bed early. started watching case histories and dont think i watched 10 mins, i was soon snoozing away. have woke up today in an alrightish mood but after a 2.6lb loss of (i know) glycogen it has spurred me on... im having a black green coffee just now and im getting ready to take the children to school. dunno wether to walk or not... we will see in the next 10 mins as the weather right now could go either way.... xx

 

[carrieclaus]

we walked, the youngest wanted to take his scooter so we walked. it was quite nice actually. as he has taken his scooter it means i NEED to walk down to get him and NEED to walk back with him so thatll be a good few steps under my now stopped expanding belt! lol
spoke to my llc this morning and i can return as a maintainer (wtf??) lol which means i dont have to do total or lite but i can return to the management group and buy however many packs i need. im gonna do 2 packs + 1 protein and green veg meal + 1 snack. for obvious reasons she couldnt give me any advice on how best to do this as its neither lite or total but she did tell me to steer clear of fruit as a snack and how to make my own hommous to have with some veg as a snack! she is totally wonderful and without her help, even when ive been totally off any plan id be larger than when i first started, there is no doubt in my mind about that.
my fear is to be seen as a failure thats why ive remained in constant contact with her. i always feel shell be dissapointed in me if i give up on myself completely. she told me today that if she had never heard from me again she would have been dissapointed that i had given up on me deserving to manage my weight successfully. shes actually proud of the fact that however many knocks i take im always in touch with her and always wanting to complete this journey. however long this take i will complete rtm!! thats my goal!!

nobody ever says this diet would be easy but i can and will do this. i want to do this so badly and it is only myself who can do it!! BRING IT ON!! hope this determination lasts lol xx

 

[HannahNewton]

Good luck with adapted LL!

It's pretty much the same as the plan I have been following.

One piece of advice I have is - we pay a premium for the packs because of the group work and CBT.

I have found as I'm not in a proper group I don't really do the work books and although the support and weighing in is useful & motivating. I did better when I was in a proper group meeting weekly.

However, I have learned to be more independent and make the plan work for me. Which for maintaining is very useful as I have really learnt where the boundaries are for me. xx

 

[carrieclaus]

thats it, we have to do it the way in which we know will get there. how long has it taken you with your adapted version and what types of things are you having for snacks. xx

 

[carrieclaus]

have done 13000 steps so far today + housework and am about to start an ironing. im feeling so good, had a vanilla shake as a latte and 2litres of water withh flavouring so far. xx

 

[HannahNewton]

thats it, we have to do it the way in which we know will get there. how long has it taken you with your adapted version and what types of things are you having for snacks. xx

I was doing 2 packs and 2 lite meals for a while and dropped about 20lbs in 12 weeks. I'm now 8lbs lower than my goal from last year.

• shake for breakfast
• half a bar mid-morning & mid afternoon
• salad with protein for lunch
• lite vegetables with protein for dinner
• small pot of low fat yoghurt or 2 low fat cheese slice for dairy

I was posting some of my meal plans on my diary - but have stopped now as it takes up so much of my time - and I'm in quite a good routine.

I have now dropped to one pack per day - but am struggling with snack ideas - and am missing my breakfast shake on work days. Still trying to find some suitable ideas that I like and fit with my lifestyle. I know I cant stay on packs for ever - but they are handy for now.

Hope you are getting on ok xx

 

[carrieclaus]

thanks, day 3 yesterday didnt go as well as the first two days and im not in ketosis but havent gained any weight this morning. think i may have found my trigger food.... cheese. my oh had put some in with my meal last night and i was craving choc and crisps, had to just go to bed as wouldve ate everything. not the best day but a good day as it didnt come crashing down around me. im the one in control of me! xx

 

[HannahNewton]

thanks, day 3 yesterday didnt go as well as the first two days and im not in ketosis but havent gained any weight this morning. think i may have found my trigger food.... cheese. my oh had put some in with my meal last night and i was craving choc and crisps, had to just go to bed as wouldve ate everything. not the best day but a good day as it didnt come crashing down around me. im the one in control of me! xx

A little trick I do - as I often fancy something sweet after my meal - set a 20 min timer on my phone and wait til it goes off. I'm often past the cravings and over it by the time it rings. Sometimes I even wonder why my timer has gone off!! xx

 

[Julz]

Thats a fab idea hannah, another one to try! Anything helps
Jx

 

[LadyT]

Hey Carrie, just caught up in your diary. I dont need to tell you the first few days or so are the hardest, you already know that, but then you also know that the plan in any variation will work for you.

Is it worth keeping the trigger foods out of thr house until you feel in full control of your eating habits.

I'm on Lite now and finding after the intital, I dont wanna do it and kicking and screaming I am finding that it is working for me, albeit a little slower than total. The positive to that is that I know I have to introduce food and doing it this way will help me in the long term. I also find that my social life is far better than it was on the foodpacks.

You have done so well with your weightloss up until now I know you want to lose a little more and admire you having such a low goal, I have every faith in you hunny and look forward to hearing how you get on. I bought the LL Lite cookbook, its been an absolute godsend for me as I cant cook, but have made some yummy meals out of it and always feel so satisfied when I have eaten now, not something I was used to previously xx

 

[carrieclaus]

thanks, yesterday was going great till i sat down with the family to watch a film and i had a few squares of the bad stuff... still had a loss this morning but in some ways i wish i had a gain as im the type who pushes boundaries. if i get away with it, ill keep pushing until i start gaining then i moan that the diet isnt working. i so wish i could afford total or lite but even getting 14 foodpacks weekly is really tight financially. only because weve got a wedding to pay, ( nearly paid in full ) but we so want to take the maximum money away with us. theres nothing worse than being away and counting pennies.... done it once never again. i just need to make this work. my llc thimks that im afraid of success and thats why i constantly sabotage myself. she said that by not getting to goal im not having to deal with the concept of maintaining. gonna start writing down what i eat at what times then maybe i can look at the day as a whole and see maybe why im failing by the end of the day. anyhoo another 1lb down, still no ketosis, im aiming to be in the pink by sat! no excuses.

ladyt, i still havent completed your diary but i am now on page 72... getting there slowly but surely, it makes fantastic reading.

hannah i think ill do ur little timer trick this evening. thanks for the hints and tips. xx

 

[LadyT]

Well done on your 1lb, I actually think its harder to lose on Lite. I have to weigh all my foods or i would guesstimate an know it would be a mile off what it should be lol.

Aw whens the wedding? Thats so lovely to have something to look forward too.

The evenings are the hardest so I try to keep busy, its alot easier to do now my children are all grown up xx

 

[carrieclaus]

getting married at red rock canyon in vegas on 31st march 2012. there is a thread in here somewhere with my dress.... ill bump it near the top for you.

today 16/6/11

my wee granny passed away at 10.45am today after a long time suffering. she had a stroke in july last year and she had no movement, couldnt even swallow.... shes in peace now, finally. it was my grandad and her wedding anniversary today, 72 years married! he passed away jan 1988. they are finally having a long awaited waltz, back in each others arms where she belongs. she would have been 94 next month. a sad time, but a comfort to know she is finally at peace. needless to say diet is out the window, sugary teas and stodge at the cafe. def back on track 2moro. the proudest she was of me was when i hit my target in dec 2009..... she would tell random starngers "shes 9st you know" lol, i used to cringe but she was over the moon. hmmm lets make her proud of me again, but more so as ill keep it off. target= when i hit 9st 13lbs get tattoo of a yellow tea rose ( my grannys favourite flower)

hope everyone is melting that lard!!! no excuses from you lot ya hear!! lol! xx

 

[LadyT]

OMG, I am sat here with tears, I am so very sorry for you hunny. Its so amazing the way you are looking at it, loved the waltz comment, I am such a romantic.

Stay strong hun, sod the diet today but back on it soon cant wait to hear you have had your tattoo, such an incentive to get to target for you my lovely.

Thinking of you and your family xxxxxx

 

[HannahNewton]

Kisses xx

 

[carrieclaus]

thanks guys, i still cant really believe shes gone. had so many nightmares last night , didnt have the greatest of sleeps but all to be expected. its a beautiful day here this morning and im motivated to get my little tattoo done asap. ketosis on sunday?? lets aim for it! xx

 

[Clarabow]

Oh I am sorry to hear your news. Bereavement is a hard one, even if they have had a long and happy life x

 

[Gembritney]

so sorry to hear about ur granny.... hugs xxx

Also my sis is getting married in vegas in 4 weeks!!!! il tell u all about it. also i cant find the thread u made for us on exante xxxxx

 

[carrieclaus]

shld really update this diary but ill do it after work. xx

 

[Borris]

Sorry about your gran xx