Worried-Chick (o_0)
Full Member
Thoughts are with you xxx
CD AND ME :O )
- Thread starter Sarah Lou
- Start date
Sarah Lou
Gold Member
Thank you Lily, have replied to your pm. Spangles thank you for your kind words. I debated in my head for ages whether I should post something like this on mini's. I live alone and in the evenings I like to catch up on what everyone is doing and over time we all get to know each other and share our highs and lows.
I know the people I have got to know over the months I have been on mini's have always been supportive and over the next few it would be really good to stay in touch. I'm not stopping CD, I will plod on and deal with what each day brings
To My Bro this is for you
I know the people I have got to know over the months I have been on mini's have always been supportive and over the next few it would be really good to stay in touch. I'm not stopping CD, I will plod on and deal with what each day brings
To My Bro
this is for you
Sarah Lou
Gold Member
Suddenly without warning life can change in a blink of an eye. I didn't go to work today, I work supporting other people so just for once I took someone's advice (spangles reminded me to be kind to myself) so I was most unlike me not to put work first but to hell with it isn't that what flexi is for.
Well most of the day I seemed to be on auto pilot.. a few tears here and there and then I carried on. I did however get to speak to my brother tonight and I think it was the hardest conversation I have ever had. Just to hear him say the C word broke my heart.
Everyone kept saying keep strong if you speak to him don't get upset.. well I did have a wobble and it was fine because he is my big brother and we got over it.
So back to CD land. Well I did a proper day today maybe not enough water but I did it and at the moment it will be day by day and that is how I am going to get through it all at the moment
most unlike me not to put work first but to hell with it isn't that what flexi is for.Well most of the day I seemed to be on auto pilot.. a few tears here and there and then I carried on. I did however get to speak to my brother tonight and I think it was the hardest conversation I have ever had. Just to hear him say the C word broke my heart.
Everyone kept saying keep strong if you speak to him don't get upset.. well I did have a wobble and it was fine because he is my big brother and we got over it.
So back to CD land. Well I did a proper day today maybe not enough water but I did it and at the moment it will be day by day and that is how I am going to get through it all at the moment
Lily
Gold Member
That auto-pilot feeling is weird, isn't it? Because life still goes on, even though it feels like you're not really moving with it. Really glad you took that flexi-time and took care of you for a change. Been thinking of you on and off all day. :hug99:
That thing about 'staying strong' and not showing that you're upset - don't know why people think that's so important. Seems to hark from a bygone age when everyone was hellbent on sweeping bad stuff under the carpet. I'm pretty sure your brother really appreciated that you didn't try to hide behind a fake 'tough' exterior.
Well done on a good diet day - seems odd to say that too, doesn't it? But good to keep hold of the 'normal' stuff too, isn't it?
:bighug:
That thing about 'staying strong' and not showing that you're upset - don't know why people think that's so important. Seems to hark from a bygone age when everyone was hellbent on sweeping bad stuff under the carpet. I'm pretty sure your brother really appreciated that you didn't try to hide behind a fake 'tough' exterior.
Well done on a good diet day - seems odd to say that too, doesn't it? But good to keep hold of the 'normal' stuff too, isn't it?
:bighug:
spangles
Bouncy Castle
well done for all the things you accomplished under such horrible circumstances. for sticking to your diet; for being there for your brother and connecting with him truthfully; and for takin the bloody day away from work - which shouldn't be so hard to do but i know it is.
you rock.
you rock.
Sarah Lou
Gold Member
Lily and Spangles thanks for your kind posts.
Sorry I have not done the quote thingy to answer you both individually, Lily told me how to do it so I will try and remind myself x
Auto pilot Lily is indeed the weirdest feeling. :sigh:
Somehow it is as if I have stepped off from the world and yet it's still happening. We will be strong and we have hope but as you said someday's you just can't be, tonight he just said "Now don't you go fretting, I feel crap today but tomorrow might be better"
I should really be in bed, I do have to go to work tomo but I might be a real rebel and leave earlier.. go me.. i rock and that is true ya know because someone said so .
Have a good day tomo girls it's nearly the weekend and above all keep warm x
Sorry I have not done the quote thingy
to answer you both individually, Lily told me how to do it so I will try and remind myself x Auto pilot Lily is indeed the weirdest feeling. :sigh:
Somehow it is as if I have stepped off from the world and yet it's still happening. We will be strong and we have hope but as you said someday's you just can't be, tonight he just said "Now don't you go fretting, I feel crap today but tomorrow might be better"
I should really be in bed, I do have to go to work tomo but I might be a real rebel and leave earlier.. go me..
i rock and that is true ya know because someone said so .Have a good day tomo girls it's nearly the weekend and above all keep warm x
Worried-Chick (o_0)
Full Member
Hey, have been thinking about you and your family, it's such a scary time right now but if you ever need to talk shout up, I'm glad you took a day of, you need time to yourself, to think and to spend time with your family. And applause to you for sticking to the diet, you really are amazing !! Take care xx
Sarah Lou
Gold Member
Thank you my Slim Sista what a kind and lovely post. I think at the moment the hard part for me is my brother lives about four hours away from me and I have been feeling useless. we have spoken on the phone and I know he totally understands and has even said he will need us when he is in hospital, I still can't help but feel I need to be there. On a positive note though our sister is a nurse and she has taken early retirement so she is staying with him at the moment, he goes back in to hospital this week and we might know more later in the week. x
So what have I been up to???? well I weighed today and I was two pounds up. I normally turn to food when I am upset but this time I was very different and I even struggled with my shakes. So my cdc thinks my body might just be retaining fluid.. ummmm ... it's that pesky water again and something to do with the toilet dept. I bought some senokot but she said that knocks you out of ketosis.. so she suggested something else.
Hope every one is staying warm, it's been cold here today and we had a glimpse of the white stuff for about ten minutes, then rain, rain and more rain :sigh:
I think at the moment the hard part for me is my brother lives about four hours away from me and I have been feeling useless. we have spoken on the phone and I know he totally understands and has even said he will need us when he is in hospital, I still can't help but feel I need to be there. On a positive note though our sister is a nurse and she has taken early retirement so she is staying with him at the moment, he goes back in to hospital this week and we might know more later in the week. xSo what have I been up to???? well I weighed today and I was two pounds up. I normally turn to food when I am upset but this time I was very different and I even struggled with my shakes. So my cdc thinks my body might just be retaining fluid.. ummmm ... it's that pesky water again and something to do with the toilet dept. I bought some senokot but she said that knocks you out of ketosis.. so she suggested something else.
Hope every one is staying warm, it's been cold here today and we had a glimpse of the white stuff for about ten minutes, then rain, rain and more rain :sigh:
Sarah Lou
Gold Member
Today started like every day has since Thursday :sigh: what the hell I thought about before last week gawd only knows. I feel that I am carrying around an annoying voice that keeps reminding me of whats going on.. For the record I am not hearing voices
I had a chat with my brother today and I've offered practical help like shopping on line and seeing if he is entitled to any help.. I will not give up on that one, he has worked for 30 years, in my working world I come into contact with genuine people and I will support them but then someone comes along and is blatantly doing the system and it makes me mad so I will launch my crusade.
I managed to hold myself together today and even though I know he is in acute pain he still manages to be practical and see's it as very black and white.. I won't write what he actually said but it knocks the wind out of my sails so to speak.
Somehow our wkly Sunday chat's will never be the same and I wish to God I could just have our usual putting the world to rights chats and moan about the state of the country and how much food shopping is..
I have done 100% today despite wanting wine gums.... come to think of it I have had voices in my head telling me I wanted wine gums.. !!!
I MUST NOT HAVE HARIBO
I had a chat with my brother today and I've offered practical help like shopping on line and seeing if he is entitled to any help.. I will not give up on that one, he has worked for 30 years, in my working world I come into contact with genuine people and I will support them but then someone comes along and is blatantly doing the system and it makes me mad
so I will launch my crusade. I managed to hold myself together today and even though I know he is in acute pain he still manages to be practical and see's it as very black and white.. I won't write what he actually said but it knocks the wind out of my sails so to speak.
Somehow our wkly Sunday chat's will never be the same and I wish to God I could just have our usual putting the world to rights chats and moan about the state of the country and how much food shopping is..
I have done 100% today
despite wanting wine gums.... come to think of it I have had voices in my head telling me I wanted wine gums.. !!!I MUST NOT HAVE HARIBO
Lily
Gold Member
Ah, have you got that thing where you wake up, and it's like something in your head insists on reminding you that your brother's ill? I had that for a while when my mother was first diagnosed with cancer. As if you could forget, really. I thought I was going nuts but I think lots of these things are quite common - it's just that no one talks about it.
Big hugs :hug99:
Now - this Haribo fixation. You must know what Marisa Peer would say, right? Gelatine = boiled up animal bones. Who wants to eat those, huh?
(Miraculously, I got over that image, but hey, it might help you...)
Big hugs :hug99:
Now - this Haribo fixation. You must know what Marisa Peer would say, right? Gelatine = boiled up animal bones. Who wants to eat those, huh?
(Miraculously, I got over that image, but hey, it might help you...
)
Sarah Lou
Gold Member
It was Marissa that stopped me I went and had a shower and thought oh I will just get into my pj's it will stop me going out it was then that Marissa popped into my head and I said to myself .. oh I want Haribo....... then boiled bones came into my head,, have not eaten pizza since either
Your right Lily it is those type of thoughts. I have been questioning alot in my head and then I realised this is all very new to me and I have not had to deal with Cancer in the Family before so I don't know what is normal and what isn't.. so thank you for sharing your experience with me. :thankyou:
I went and had a shower and thought oh I will just get into my pj's it will stop me going out it was then that Marissa popped into my head and I said to myself .. oh I want Haribo....... then boiled bones came into my head,, have not eaten pizza since either Your right Lily it is those type of thoughts. I have been questioning alot in my head and then I realised this is all very new to me and I have not had to deal with Cancer in the Family before so I don't know what is normal and what isn't.. so thank you for sharing your experience with me. :thankyou:
Chelsea Lou
Gold Member
Hi Sarah-Lou, so sorry to read about your brother. Such a terrible time for you and your family and you have my sincere sympathies.
Big hug to you xxxx
Big hug to you xxxx
Worried-Chick (o_0)
Full Member
I must be incurable hunny, cos even the though of what goes into sweeties doesn't put me off in the slightest haha !!! Hope ur ok !! Xxx
Sarah Lou
Gold Member
Thank you Chelsea Lou for your warm wishes, it is a most difficult time and the thoughts over take everything. My brother had another minor op yesterday and we await the results of what stage he is at. xxx
Worried Chick, on a less serious note, I went into Asda to buy some chicken and I saw Haribo suitable for vegetarians and it made me chuckle.. I have however not caved as yet..
I'm home today from work, just getting over a tummy bug, feel better today, perhaps having a lot less in your tummy makes it go away quicker. I have had a small bit of plain cous cous today as I needed something, if I bought bread to have toast it would of turned into a food fest. I have managed to stay on track this week, off to catch up with all of your diary's xx
Worried Chick, on a less serious note, I went into Asda to buy some chicken and I saw Haribo suitable for vegetarians and it made me chuckle.. I have however not caved as yet..
I'm home today from work, just getting over a tummy bug, feel better today, perhaps having a lot less in your tummy makes it go away quicker. I have had a small bit of plain cous cous today as I needed something, if I bought bread to have toast it would of turned into a food fest. I have managed to stay on track this week, off to catch up with all of your diary's xx
Worried-Chick (o_0)
Full Member
Aw hunny sorry your not well, that's the last thing you need now !! Although I agree with you, me and Boyf were a bit off last week and while he was chucking his guts up I jst felt a bit off... So maybe this diet is handy for something take care and get better and keep ur positive chin up xx
take care and get better and keep ur positive chin up xx
Sarah Lou
Gold Member
Hope you and your BF are ok now hun. I'm single now but I do remember those odd nights when I had to pick up my ex. It used to be worse if I had to one of his friends home.. he would then sit at home eating a Jacket Spud with everything on it and it wasn't a pretty sight. A friend of mine thought he was the bee's knee's so I told her one night that she could pick him up after he played football and then went for a boys night out she declined!! lol
I'm trying to keep my chin up whilst secretly dreading that we will soon have some news. :sigh: take care hun xx
she declined!! lol I'm trying to keep my chin up whilst secretly dreading that we will soon have some news. :sigh: take care hun xx
Worried-Chick (o_0)
Full Member
haha - o yes - the tears was a low point - but his silly drunken meal smelled and looked like a feast haha !! xx
Lily
Gold Member
LOL, that made me laugh. :8855: Vegetarian Haribo? We're screwed!
I had to Google that, of course. Veggie Haribo do contain beeswax but I suppose that's okay?
Or is it...?
Six times around the earth? Poor bees!!
Glad you're feeling better than you were last week, hunni (ha - hunni - see what I did there?!)
Thinking of ya x x
I had to Google that, of course. Veggie Haribo do contain beeswax but I suppose that's okay?
Or is it...?
Wiki said:
Six times around the earth?
Poor bees!!Glad you're feeling better than you were last week, hunni (ha - hunni - see what I did there?!
)Thinking of ya x x
Sarah Lou
Gold Member
Lilly you and your google oh I feel bad for bee's now :sigh: well actually I will just carry on blaming Haribo for my addiction
I can't believe i have not posted for six days in that time I have seen my cdc and I lost two pounds.. not amazing but I wasn't expecting any. Tomorrow I'm off to see my Brother and I can honestly say I am really anxious about it, my sister has said to prepare myself. Work have been very supportive and have given me some compassionate leave as my entitlement for 2011 has been used and the new hols don't start to March 12. They know my mind is elsewhere. Now my role at work has changed I'm not in the main rota so me not being there doesn't add to everyone else's workload. Take care girls and catch up soon x
oh I feel bad for bee's now :sigh: well actually I will just carry on blaming Haribo for my addiction I can't believe i have not posted for six days
in that time I have seen my cdc and I lost two pounds.. not amazing but I wasn't expecting any. Tomorrow I'm off to see my Brother and I can honestly say I am really anxious about it, my sister has said to prepare myself. Work have been very supportive and have given me some compassionate leave as my entitlement for 2011 has been used and the new hols don't start to March 12. They know my mind is elsewhere. Now my role at work has changed I'm not in the main rota so me not being there doesn't add to everyone else's workload. Take care girls and catch up soon x
Lily
Gold Member
Everyone knows me as the Google Queen. No matter how odd a thing, obscure an explanation, I'll find it on Google eventually. It's cos I'm a trained investigator, see. I haz skillz.
Glad work are being supportive. Funny how that whole big job scare/move turned out to be quite a good thing in the end. My Mum always used to say everything happens for a reason. Kind of hard to find the reasons for some things, mind...
Big big hugs for staying so strong and :clap: for those 2 pounds off.
It's cos I'm a trained investigator, see. I haz skillz. Glad work are being supportive. Funny how that whole big job scare/move turned out to be quite a good thing in the end. My Mum always used to say everything happens for a reason. Kind of hard to find the reasons for some things, mind...
Big big hugs for staying so strong and :clap: for those 2 pounds off.
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