I swam over a kilometre yesterday at lunchtime. I'm so much stronger. I had a quick sneakypeek at my measurements from 2007 - I was a similar size 7-10lbs lighter so the exercise is making a massive difference! I can feel the fat dropping off my sides - it must be a combination of six-pack and running and swimming. I kind of have Wonder Woman legs starting to form as well - who knew lunges were soooo good for a girl? Also my calves have a totally different consistency and shape to when I did this first time round - so - you know - it's all good.
Today I did a 1.5 mile run...keeping it easy...every time I want to give in I just feel the weight falling off my hard hips and it keeps me going. I look slim. I look a stone lighter than I am cos of the depleted glycogen and my cheekbones are getting ridiculous now.
There's not a lot else to say other than rehearsing is good - on long long days I am having two bars and then a food pack when I get home after 10 - on Sunday I had 4 packs because I had been so shattered the day before...it improved my energy no end. Totally cruising the CD thing, I sat in front of three people eating steak and chicken and pasta and pudding on Tuesday night and didn't bat an eyelid or feel like I was missing out. I get really confused with people who say they 'have to' eat. If you don't events like Tuesday night eventually become a breeze - I guess it depends on the company you keep...
My reading of the Jillian Michaels book is giving me a lot more insight and understanding of ghrelin (the crazy-making hormone that kicks you into weight-gain after substantial weight-loss for want of a better description) I am already starting to understand that 95% of the time I am going to need to eat organic, fresh, unprocessed food if I want to stabilise and stay in control. It's somewhat terrifying and challenging after what happened last time...I guess I just know that I cannot touch sugar. No way no how...it's totally non negotiable until I have stabilised for at least 3-4 months. Thing is in the real world, sugar is never my first choice - it gives me headaches, makes me feel itchy - I only ever crave it it when I have already buggered up my blood sugar levels. But I'm learning a lot about how and why that happens. It all starts when you eat carbs without protein (for me anyway). One of my overriding memories of coming off Lighter Life is the afternoon I went chocolate mental. Ugh - it pains me to even mention it. You become a demon...an addict. It's terrifying when that monster takes over - no amount of CBT is gonna talk you down from something that primal. I actually growled at a colleague who tried to stop me! Imagine! - ghrelin is linked in with addiction it will do ANYTHING to get you to eat high fat high sugar to pile on weight (it's just trying to make sure you survive...it's not actually evil!) ahhhh - happy and strange memories. At least I know what it is now, eh? At least I know what it is capable of now - back then I knew about ghrelin but I had no idea it would have the power to send me all the way back to my original weight! I just assumed it was a temporary thing!