CharleyBarley - my new 2014 diary with pics

[Charleybarley]

I have been on self destruct mode...I need to stop now. Last night, instead of healthy chicken homemade chips and salad we had a KFC, a massive KFC - and I also had about 7 shortbread biscuits!! Why? The beast within has been unleashed. I have had a little chat with myself this morning and I am going to stop this stupid eating right now. I am sadly looking at another gain this week.

 

[scarlet79]

If we could understand why we do it and stop it we would never have gained weight so try not to be too hard on yourself. You've had the chat with yourself If you can just try and stick to the plan today and take every day as it comes. What day do you weigh in? xx

Sent from my iPhone using MiniMins

 

[SallyVater]

I love shortbread biscuits so I feel your pain!

 

[Charleybarley]

If we could understand why we do it and stop it we would never have gained weight so try not to be too hard on yourself. You've had the chat with yourself If you can just try and stick to the plan today and take every day as it comes. What day do you weigh in? xx Sent from my iPhone using MiniMins

I know. It's just that I just can't be naughty for one day, it has to extend to 2, 3 days and sometimes longer - until I jump on the scales and see numbers that I just don't want to see. I think of my bikinis I have bought that I want to get Ito by my cruise in December and wonder why was I so weak? Why didn't I think of that bikini whilst tucking into my giant KFC?

I weigh in on a Friday so I can grab a few days worth of being good, but sadly I am not exercising much as I have hurt my hip - just excuses really as I can still work my upper body....

Ah woe is me today!!!! It's alright I will snap out of it!

 

[Charleybarley]

I love shortbread biscuits so I feel your pain!

Shortbreads rock don't they? They are a pack leftover for Christmas that we have managed to eke out, not many left now I will tell mick to take them to work with him I think.

This morning I threw away leftover pastries from Sunday, a bagel and a pack of crumpets!!!! I know it's wasteful and I hate throwing food but I would have eaten them with tons of butter and jam or cheese or whatever until they had gone.

It's a brand new day everyone - a brand new day!!!

 

[scarlet79]

I'm with you hun it usually goes "yesterday was rubbish so I may as we'll be rubbish today cos I'm going to have put on weight after yesterday now where's the crisps?" Or is that just me? Lol

That's why I joined here I wanted more people to kick my butt when I got negative and had off plan days xx

Sent from my iPhone using MiniMins

 

[SallyVater]

Well done for throwing out the "naughty" foods.

I've been known to buy a bag full of rubbish, eat half of it, have a fit of guilt and then just throw the rest away. I'd rather feel a pang of guilt at being "wasteful" than eat it all and be "waist-full"

 

[hendopig]

I agree about not being to hard on yourself Charley. You've done what you need to try and get you back on the straight and narrow.

Losing weight is HARD. Keep on keeping on xx

 

[Charleybarley]

Well done for throwing out the "naughty" foods.

I've been known to buy a bag full of rubbish, eat half of it, have a fit of guilt and then just throw the rest away. I'd rather feel a pang of guilt at being "wasteful" than eat it all and be "waist-full"

I agree about not being to hard on yourself Charley. You've done what you need to try and get you back on the straight and narrow.

Losing weight is HARD. Keep on keeping on xx

Thanks ladies. xxxxxx

 

[Happy Holidays]

I freeze foods which I know I will want to eat, but can't all in one go, I've done that with my mince pies & Soreen!!!

I agree losing weight is hard, I seem to find it easy enough to get back on plan after I've been naughty, I wish I could offer so words of wisdom but I can't.

I do think eventually the days off plan will become less & less & it will eventually become easier.

 

[xmisskx]

good for you for having "the chat"
but it's hard...and i def see a difference where now, i can't just have 1 meal off plan, i think right, that's happening at dinner so i'll be off it the whole day!
silly and just makes it harder to get back on it!

don't dwell though, it's done now and you can't change it...just take it day by day x

Sent from my iPhone using MiniMins

 

[Saruk88]

Hiiiiii Charley! How's it all going? Been a few days since I last checked in. Sorry to hear you've had a naughty few days - don't fret though we've all been there. I'm so halfhearted now with this which is so annoying. Just weighed myself and I haven't lost anything. Not that I particularly deserve to (well, I do a bit) but I really want pancakes tonight. I'm still going to have them but I'm going to feel uber guilty!

I think it's really strong though of you to still post and let everyone know you're not being as good as usual. I disappear when I'm not happy with myself and I sulk! so well done on being far stronger than many of us! Just keep picturing how fab you'll look in those bikinis and you'll get there!

 

[Cheese Thief]

I love shortbread too. Chris was given a huge box for Christmas and he doesn't like them, so the task has fallen to me... They last for ages so I try and have them now and again, but when I feel peckish they call to me... Should really just chuck them out but it'd feel wasteful! That and the fact they are just too yummy!

Try not to beat yourself up hun. You're not weak, we've all done it. In fact I think you're brave for facing up to it and staying on mini's, it shows you really want this. I know you're going to do it, it's just a matter of finding that 'zone' again. Hope the little talk with yourself helped and you feel a bit more motivated. The best advice I can give is to just take it a day at a time, the reason I didn't start years ago is that I knew how long it'd take me to lose the weight, so I just kept putting it off. I'm not saying that's the case with you, but for me after I'd got the first month under my belt it all started to come together and become more of a way of life than something I had to battle with each day.

Big hugs and chin up missy xxxx

 

[La Parisienne]

Charley you are doing so so well! Don't beat yourself up!!

You are amazing for turning yourself around! It takes such a big effort, everyone here appreciates that!

xx

 

[Charleybarley]

good for you for having "the chat"
but it's hard...and i def see a difference where now, i can't just have 1 meal off plan, i think right, that's happening at dinner so i'll be off it the whole day!
silly and just makes it harder to get back on it!

don't dwell though, it's done now and you can't change it...just take it day by day x

Sent from my iPhone using MiniMins

Its funny isn't it? Sometimes I think "no don't eat that, think of the bikinis" but I can honestly say with the weekend and with the KFC the other night, I had no conscience, it was "I want, must have" You are right, I mustnt dwell and I haven't and I have been good for the last couple of days. I need to get back to the gym too. I might go tonight or tomorrow morning, I will be limited with what I can do, weight machines for upper body only, no full weight bearing machines or lower body, but its a start right?!

Hiiiiii Charley! How's it all going? Been a few days since I last checked in. Sorry to hear you've had a naughty few days - don't fret though we've all been there. I'm so halfhearted now with this which is so annoying. Just weighed myself and I haven't lost anything. Not that I particularly deserve to (well, I do a bit) but I really want pancakes tonight. I'm still going to have them but I'm going to feel uber guilty!

I think it's really strong though of you to still post and let everyone know you're not being as good as usual. I disappear when I'm not happy with myself and I sulk! so well done on being far stronger than many of us! Just keep picturing how fab you'll look in those bikinis and you'll get there!

Thanks love. To be honest, I usually go away and sulk and then go on a massive bender and then return weeks/ months later. I want to start nipping any naughties in the bud, so I can keep damage to a minimum. I do find it so hard to stick to a certain diet. I will keep thinking of the bikinis, in fact I am going to put them on again tonight to see how tight and unflattering they look now - shock tactics are needed!!!

I love shortbread too. Chris was given a huge box for Christmas and he doesn't like them, so the task has fallen to me... They last for ages so I try and have them now and again, but when I feel peckish they call to me... Should really just chuck them out but it'd feel wasteful! That and the fact they are just too yummy!

Try not to beat yourself up hun. You're not weak, we've all done it. In fact I think you're brave for facing up to it and staying on mini's, it shows you really want this. I know you're going to do it, it's just a matter of finding that 'zone' again. Hope the little talk with yourself helped and you feel a bit more motivated. The best advice I can give is to just take it a day at a time, the reason I didn't start years ago is that I knew how long it'd take me to lose the weight, so I just kept putting it off. I'm not saying that's the case with you, but for me after I'd got the first month under my belt it all started to come together and become more of a way of life than something I had to battle with each day.

Big hugs and chin up missy xxxx

Thanks Bev! I wished I had your will power! I have been trying to lose weight all of my adult life, I have joined SW so many times, I just do well in the first couple of weeks and then celebrate that by going off the rails! For me, its not a question of being daunted by having too much to lose, even though I do, I am not a comfort eater either - I won't bury myself in chocolate if I have a bad day, or am sad etc. For me, it is just this NEED for something. Its like I said the other day I was literally drooling at Fried Chicken on the TV and the thought in my brain WOULD NOT go away until I had it and I HAD TO HAVE IT. Nothing in my head triggered that I shouldn't have it, and if I had of done, I would have ignored it. I now keep thinking of doner kebab and chips (it was on Supersize/Superskinny) and I really want it, but Mick won't eat kebabs so I have to wait until he isn't around to get it! Its ridiculous isn't it? I think I need psychiatric help!

Charley you are doing so so well! Don't beat yourself up!!

You are amazing for turning yourself around! It takes such a big effort, everyone here appreciates that!

xx

Ah, thanks Sophie, that's really sweet of you. I wished I was more amazing than I feel right now. I feel like a failure, but I know I can work harder to be a success!!!!

 

[Charleybarley]

Wednesday 5th March

Ok, so yesterday I ate fairly well, I even took an M&S salad with me to the cinema, it was delicious, one of my favourites, crayfish, mango and wild rice salad with a lime and chilli dressing. Its lovely, but its £4.50! I also had some vegetable crisps, which was naughty, but they were delish.

I had a jacket spud with half a tin of spaghetti on top with some cheese for lunch and for breakkie it was a WW petit pain with 2 scrambled egg.

I am toying with the idea of going back to SW, mainly because I feel I am ruining my healthy eating, but then in all honestly its not the healthy eating diet's fault, its mine for cheating! I will also cheat on SW - so what's the difference? Plus I am not a fan of my local club, even though it is at a perfect time (7pm) and on the perfect day (Thursday) - I just didn't feel like I got the support. There are other clubs, on a Monday and Wedsnesday near to me which start at 7pm. I don't know, I really hate weighing in front of people, you would think that that was enough not to cheat and gain weight, but no - I would still cheat and then feign surprise at a gain. I would also get really angry when I was good and would STS or only lose a 1lb.

I considered going it alone, but SW?? I don't know, I know its an amazing diet, but there are things that go with it that I just don't approve of.

Lets face it, I just need to eat sensibly and not stuff my gob!

 

[SallyVater]

Have you thought about joining up online? I went to actual SW meetings back when I first did SW (so about 10 years ago I suppose) and I despised the leader, and unforch she still runs the most convenient class so I just do it online. I do have to be strict on myself and not skip WI's and stuff, but other than that I think the little voice in the back of my head that's obsessed with money keeps me pretty much on the straight and narrow (You're paying for this!!). I have tried going it alone, but I dunno, I just can't do it that way. I need discipline and structure.

 

[Cheese Thief]

Thanks Bev! I wished I had your will power! I have been trying to lose weight all of my adult life, I have joined SW so many times, I just do well in the first couple of weeks and then celebrate that by going off the rails! For me, its not a question of being daunted by having too much to lose, even though I do, I am not a comfort eater either - I won't bury myself in chocolate if I have a bad day, or am sad etc. For me, it is just this NEED for something. Its like I said the other day I was literally drooling at Fried Chicken on the TV and the thought in my brain WOULD NOT go away until I had it and I HAD TO HAVE IT. Nothing in my head triggered that I shouldn't have it, and if I had of done, I would have ignored it. I now keep thinking of doner kebab and chips (it was on Supersize/Superskinny) and I really want it, but Mick won't eat kebabs so I have to wait until he isn't around to get it! Its ridiculous isn't it? I think I need psychiatric help!

Oh hunny, there's nothing amazing about my willpower I assure you. I was exactly the same as you until this past year, I tried everything from weight watchers to Cambridge and never lasted more than 3 weeks! The only reason I started losing weight last year was to pass the occupational health check to get onto a radiography degree! I still find it crazy that I started losing weight for my career prospects rather than my health, even though I was almost 25 stone!!

From what you've said I think a psychiatrist/counsellor might actually be able to help. Surely that need you feel isn't a physical need for bad food, it's a mental one, so there must be some explanation for it. I used to be really sceptical of counselling/therapy but after having panic attacks a couple of years ago it really helped me. It doesn't have to cost the earth either, I got 6 sessions of counselling free from work after my manager suggested I ring the staff advice line. Apparently a lot of big companies do things like that, so maybe worth looking in to see if your place offers anything similar. Its confidential obviously!

Our experiences are so similar in a way, when Chris was working late or I had some time off I used to go to the shops to buy loads of crap/order takeaway and eat it all without him knowing. Then I'd eat again when he got in!! Bloody mental. :sigh: I never had the need for one specific thing like the kebab though... I just wanted EVERYTHING!

Do you think sticking to a weekly weigh in will help your losses? For me it does and I'd be lost without it, but if you don't think it'd help then it doesn't make sense to follow a diet you don't agree with. What aspects particularly about SW don't you like? I don't follow the plan to the letter and find some bits a bit daft too. For example, some of the 'free' food options like mugshots I don't think are particularly healthy with all the preservatives etc, so I choose not to have them. I also tweak the plan a bit, so for example mullers are syn free but contain 100 cals, so to mix things up I substitute them with other yoghurt's with the same cals/fat content. And of course I don't eat 'unlimited' anything, it's nice to know options are available if I'm starving but I'm still conscious that I'm trying to lose weight and don't go completely overboard with second portions etc.

I think you pretty much know what you need to do and what will work, it's just a matter of getting a plan together on how to get started and figuring out some strategies for getting through the cravings. Food for yesterday sounded yummy, I love M&S salads! xxx

 

[Charleybarley]

Have you thought about joining up online? I went to actual SW meetings back when I first did SW (so about 10 years ago I suppose) and I despised the leader, and unforch she still runs the most convenient class so I just do it online. I do have to be strict on myself and not skip WI's and stuff, but other than that I think the little voice in the back of my head that's obsessed with money keeps me pretty much on the straight and narrow (You're paying for this!!). I have tried going it alone, but I dunno, I just can't do it that way. I need discipline and structure.

Yep, done it online too! I have even less ummph when it comes to doing it that way, in fact the only good thing about online was the SW mags! I wished wasting money came into my thinking equation, alas it doesn't!

 

[Charleybarley]

Oh hunny, there's nothing amazing about my willpower I assure you. I was exactly the same as you until this past year, I tried everything from weight watchers to Cambridge and never lasted more than 3 weeks! The only reason I started losing weight last year was to pass the occupational health check to get onto a radiography degree! I still find it crazy that I started losing weight for my career prospects rather than my health, even though I was almost 25 stone!!

From what you've said I think a psychiatrist/counsellor might actually be able to help. Surely that need you feel isn't a physical need for bad food, it's a mental one, so there must be some explanation for it. I used to be really sceptical of counselling/therapy but after having panic attacks a couple of years ago it really helped me. It doesn't have to cost the earth either, I got 6 sessions of counselling free from work after my manager suggested I ring the staff advice line. Apparently a lot of big companies do things like that, so maybe worth looking in to see if your place offers anything similar. Its confidential obviously!

Our experiences are so similar in a way, when Chris was working late or I had some time off I used to go to the shops to buy loads of crap/order takeaway and eat it all without him knowing. Then I'd eat again when he got in!! Bloody mental. :sigh: I never had the need for one specific thing like the kebab though... I just wanted EVERYTHING!

Do you think sticking to a weekly weigh in will help your losses? For me it does and I'd be lost without it, but if you don't think it'd help then it doesn't make sense to follow a diet you don't agree with. What aspects particularly about SW don't you like? I don't follow the plan to the letter and find some bits a bit daft too. For example, some of the 'free' food options like mugshots I don't think are particularly healthy with all the preservatives etc, so I choose not to have them. I also tweak the plan a bit, so for example mullers are syn free but contain 100 cals, so to mix things up I substitute them with other yoghurt's with the same cals/fat content. And of course I don't eat 'unlimited' anything, it's nice to know options are available if I'm starving but I'm still conscious that I'm trying to lose weight and don't go completely overboard with second portions etc.

I think you pretty much know what you need to do and what will work, it's just a matter of getting a plan together on how to get started and figuring out some strategies for getting through the cravings. Food for yesterday sounded yummy, I love M&S salads! xxx

I do think I might benefit talking to someone, but then I think I might just be seeing someone for nothing, because it doesn't get me down or depressed. I kind of just shrug it off as "me being me" - I was considering a hypnotherapist actually - maybe that might help. Or maybe I just need that Willpower once and for all!!

The things I don't like about SW are pretty much what you said. I don't like that you are deterred from using olive oil, I know you can use it as a HEB or syn it, but I believe that olive oil is pretty essential to your general health and well being, hair, skin etc. I think things like avocados, which are sooooo good for you, are so high in syns. I hate anything fake too. I hate all the foods that contain sweetners, they are not good for your health, but they do help you lose weight. . . I decided that I would rather have a little of something "banned" on SW rather than being able to have a lot of something else. Muller lights and fat free yogurts are stuffed with crap, chemicals. I would much rather have 2 tbsps of full or lower fat greek yogurt with some natural honey. I know you can have fat free plain yogurt but it tastes rank! I think SW also gets me into bad habits, reaching out for a sweet chewy cereal bar for a HEB rather than 20 almonds, or whatever it is these days. Giving myself the green light to pile up the plate with pasta/potatoes/rice etc. if I do SW then I do take the portion control to the brink, because I can!!

My healthy eating plan does more or less follow SW, as I consciously think I always will now, i.e only one helping of cheese a day / bread or cereal control. But I will eat avocados and I will have butter, but only rarely now. I have a great plan in my little head, I just need to stick to it!!!!