Thursday 9th April
MORNING ALL!
I am a happy bunny today, not sure why - I am really really tired, Mick is a massive snorer and we use various ways to get to sleep, it involved heavy duty ear plugs, facing away from each other and him letting me fall asleep first...these techniques often work, and also sometimes fail - I can't switch off my wakeyness as quickly as he would like - he falls asleep as soon as he closes his eyes and starts snoring VERY LOUDLY immediately, sometimes when he is still awake! For the last two nights I haven't been able to fall asleep quick enough and this ends in me sleeping on the sofa as we only have a one bedroomed flat. I know understand why people have separate rooms, it could save our future marriage! Or rather it could save his life, in times when I am that tired and all I can hear is the snoring, I want to hurt him!!!!
He has been to the NHS hospital, they have done tests and said it looked like sleep apnoea but it isn't, he doesn't wake himself up, he breathes constantly all night long and is in the deepest sleep, so deep he is difficult to wake up. He has had cameras down his throat and up his nose and there are no obstructions. He does have private healthcare and after years of asking him to do something (selfish man!) he did and we are waiting for him to do this sleep clinic thing, but there is no urgency to him at all, he is so laid back and lazy and of course, it doesn't directly affect him does it? Its only me who is suffering. It makes me so mad.
He woke at 4:30am this morning and came and got me and swapped places, but I know broken sleep is not good and the only time that I have unbroken sleep is when he isn't in bed - what is the answer!?! We have been together for nearly 6 years and we are getting married in October - I need a resolution to this.
Other than that I am actually happy. I am seeing a really good friend of mine tonight who I havent seen for a while, he is bringing his fiance and I am bringing Mick and we are going to have a celebratory dinner together. The place is call Big Easy and its in Covent Garden. I have been there before and it is great, I will post a pic of me and Mick from before, they give you plastic bibs to eat with. So I am trying to be good but at the same time I really want to not worry too much about it. Here is the menu:
http://bigeasy.co.uk/wp-content/uploads/2014/01/BE_ALC_Specials_Lunch_v120cqNEW.pdf - not for the feinted hearted right?!
I think I am also happy because the new food thing I have been doing for the last couple of days - eat well but less - is making me feel a bit springy in my steps. Yes, I am waking up hungry and I am getting to every mealtime feeling hungry, but isn't that what "normal" people feel? I need to get used to feeling hungry, hungry is not starving and I am not ever going to be starving for which I thank my lucky stars - there are millions of people in the world who are starving - I will not use that word again for a feeling of hunger. Hunger is not a bad thing, its just a reminder that you need to eat something which doesn't have to be bad.
So foods today:
B - 2 rough oatcakes stacked with chicken breast and half a baby avocado - this is such a tasty break and it does keep hunger locked up until lunch - just!
L - A Pitta-rito (my take on a burrito) - half pack of Mexican Rice mixed with leftover chicken and some nandos sauce and some spinach and cheese. I guess I could have added tomatoes and onions too, but I was running late this morning and chopping onions and toms would require me spending a few extra precious minutes... as it was I left the house, got halfway down the road and realised I had forgotten my mobile, knowing I would need it to meet up with my friends, i had to go back and get it and i missed my train - doh!
D - Something from Big Easy - shall I be good or shall I be dirty!
xxx