Cheekychinchilla's food and stuff

Sorry you've had such a bad day, you did well to get through it especially after the week you've had. Your manager's reaction was appalling, it sounds like she doesn't fully understand the implications for you. I think hidden illnesses are hard for other people to understand especially if you're working hard to keep yourself going, and to them they can't see what exactly is wrong. Maybe you should get some leaflets and give them to her and make her aware properly of how hard it is to do every day things most people take for granted. Me personally if I had a member of staff I worked with tell me they had an illness that affected all aspects of their lives I would look it up so I would know what they can and cannot do and how to support them.
I hope they your shifts next week sorted and you have a little relaxing sleep tonight x x x
 
Exactly! She probably just doesn't understand what the illness involves and how incapacitating it can be. When you mention that some people become housebound, it seems to drive it home! Not that you will of course, but it's worth letting ppl know what you're fighting and how impressive it is that you're managing to work and to do the job you do! I've seen my OT for the first time (2nd one next month) and it's well worth it. She was lovely and made me feel much more positive, as we set some mini goals to aim for. Take all the help you're offered! Xxx
 
Work sounds so bloody stressful :( you poor thing! I'm not surprised you feel broken! That dog sounds so scary and thr cat bite stuff- ahh! But WTF is your boss on?! She sounds like the leat empathetic person ever :S I thought people who go into animal care were usually quite loving people? She sounds like an emotional robot!
I hope thigs straighten out soon :( really sucks that there's little thatcan be done for CFS and OMG re: counsillor thinking you lied about depression!!! WTF!? How have you been treated so rottenly by so many people?! I'd have made a huge fuss about that!
Amazing that you dtayed on plan through stressful shifts, I'd have stuffed myself for comfort!

Sorry for not keeping up with stuff much! Pretty stressed with all the travel deadline stuff, feel a bit guilty being on minis :eek:

I am very, very jealous that you pooed 3 times in one day!! That's like how many I get a month LOL. X
 
Cheekychinchilla I'm disappointed with your works lack of support. It bothers me they're heaping even more on your plate. Regarding the pain clinic, when you finally get there, don't let them put you on slow release morphine, I got put on it without knowing how addictive it is for the body, and now I keep getting told to look into cannabis as a healthy alternative as long term morphine use will kill me within 10yrs. I wish they'd never conned me into it. Sorry for being awol, my depression has been worse than ever, hope tomorrow goes ok will be thinking of you xx
 
Hey all! Very quick update.
Have had an awful illness day. So God damn painful and everything is very slow. Was determined to stick to my planned friend date tho. But had to sort the bunnies, depoo the garden, hoover, and get a shower before I could leave. Everything took sooooooo long tho! Ended up well over an hour late *blush*
Mum had met Michelle at Costa by the time I'd got there! She had a panic attack on the bus and luckily Michelle was home and could meet her.
Mum went home and me & the wife went to see Need For Speed. What a surprise that was! Awesome film!!! Aaron Paul and Imogen Poots work very well together. Hopefully seeing them in A Long Way Down soon.

Someone was talking to me about morphine the other day and RECOMMENDING it to me. It ended up in an almost argument with me trying to defend my reasons for never going near the stuff. I watched my mum suffer with it for years and the effects of being forced to do a cold-turkey withdrawal - evil b*stards!
Also, its not a pain clinic. Its graded exercise and CBT, that's all I'm bring offered so far. Still no mention of pain management!

Not going in to this more tonight as I'm shattered and hate using touch screen :p
Working 8am - 6:30pm tomorrow *mega yawn*
Night all.x
 
cheekychinchilla said:
Hey all! Very quick update.
Have had an awful illness day. So God damn painful and everything is very slow. Was determined to stick to my planned friend date tho. But had to sort the bunnies, depoo the garden, hoover, and get a shower before I could leave. Everything took sooooooo long tho! Ended up well over an hour late *blush*
Mum had met Michelle at Costa by the time I'd got there! She had a panic attack on the bus and luckily Michelle was home and could meet her.
Mum went home and me & the wife went to see Need For Speed. What a surprise that was! Awesome film!!! Aaron Paul and Imogen Poots work very well together. Hopefully seeing them in A Long Way Down soon.

Someone was talking to me about morphine the other day and RECOMMENDING it to me. It ended up in an almost argument with me trying to defend my reasons for never going near the stuff. I watched my mum suffer with it for years and the effects of being forced to do a cold-turkey withdrawal - evil b*stards!
Also, its not a pain clinic. Its graded exercise and CBT, that's all I'm bring offered so far. Still no mention of pain management!

Not going in to this more tonight as I'm shattered and hate using touch screen :p
Working 8am - 6:30pm tomorrow *mega yawn*
Night all.x
Click to expand...


Hope today at work was unusually peaceful. I've had a really bad day diet wise I'm sick of feeling run down. Hope you're ok Xx
 
Hey all!
Home from work :)

Yesterday was an on-off food day and today will be too. I'm so tired!! Work wasn't so bad today, rather surprising at times. Apparently yesterday was bad so I was dreading today. And my mentor was working this weekend, but she was ok and didn't pressure me about coursework stuff and actually helped a bit in kennels!
It's a bit easier doing a one off weekend shift, rather then the 2 full days. Hard to explain because it's not just the hours, but you feel not quite as pressured. I dunno, it is hard to explain.

I don't know why my boss is being the way she is, other than I know she's super stressed. I'm sure she DOES understand my illness and what it means for me, after all we are all medical staff and even if we don't know the actual illnesses we know everything impacts life. And I doubt she is heartless either. But I really don't understand what has been happening and the way things are being so mishandled. And I do wonder if occupational therapy is being avoided as it may go in my favour. But then we might get granted the budget to employ another part timer and that would be amazing! I really don't get it.
I got very light-headed after having to help lift a very large dog today and I didn't recover from it well. But out of the staff that were in there was me, Sue who has been struggling with her back, Marie who has half a liver in failure, and a pregnant nurse! So.....yeah, we just had to pitch in and try our best really. I doubt we all came away from that ok.

I'm disappointed and angry at the lack of support too. But I don't know where I stand legally or anything, I just haven't got a clue what I'm doing!

I'm not the first and I wont be the last to have my depression mishandled by medical staff I'm afraid. I was very upset, but I dealt with it, knew I wasn't lying, and saw someone else. Who is still my GP and fantastic :)
I'm just wary of people who are trying to "help"! Which I'm sure is understandable?

My Mum has been to the occupational therapy department at the local hospital meany many times with her collection of illnesses lol. And I've had physio treatment there too and I can't fault them. I'm just really worried about getting the wrong care again and what that would mean for me.

Mum's making a roast and I have a fruity cider and some cake ;) Back to SW properly tomorrow! xx
 
Hi Cheeky,

Glad work went well. I know how you feel about the hours, I'd rather get mine over and done with over a shorter period, even if it meant doing longer days.

Sounds like your boss is taking out her stress on you though - very not cool and def not good management!

Glad to see you're not stressing about food, you deserve a bit of a break.

Hope you sleep like a log tonight!x
 
So glad today wasn't as bad as you expected. You've been so good lately that a treat or 2 won't do you any harm especially after a stressful week.
I hope you've recovered form the light headedness, just wish they had put someone on with with you all that do the heavier stuff.
Enjoy your roast, I had a lovely one earlier x x x
 
Sophie I've changed my working pattern from doing 2.5 days a week to 5 half days a week - I work 19hrs. But over a weekend I work 19hrs (paid ;)) on top of the 19hrs for that week, so I do 10.5hrs per weekend day. I have no choice over this and there's no contingency for splitting the time. I only did one day this weekend because it wasn't mine, I'm covering for a fellow vca being hospitalised after being bitten by a cat. I do the shorter, but more frequent days to help manage my symptoms. But, nothing I can do about the weekends.
It's more difficult with having such a physically and emotionally demanding job. I am on my feet 9hrs a day over a weekend. I don't sit down except on my breaks or when I go for a pee. I couldn't even begin to explain how physical my job is :( I get stand-down either side of my weekends now - I only used to get it afterwards - again to try to help. But because we're so short staffed this week I can only take 4 of the 9.5hrs owed this week :rolleyes:

Barbette I know I will pay for the treats with yet another gain or sts. Even before I had the treats I'd gained 1kg without even trying. I just can't bloody win! I don't honestly see how I can continue to gain weight doing fast days, mostly SW days, being much more active, etc. It's driving me absolutely nuts and it's really demolarising. I just don't know what else I can do.
I most definitely need to try and stop or at least slow down the rewarding or comforting myself with food. I thought I'd gotten a handle on this, but these last few weeks have been awful with work and I'm finding those cravings coming back because I'm not coping physically :(
It's so frustrating tho! I'm craving these things, but my body obv doesn't need them or I wouldn't be putting on weight.
So fed up with everything at the moment. Just feel like no matter what I do it isn't good enough :eek:

I have eaten some silly things this weekend and really regretting them. But it's done now. Just wish I could stop it!!

Anyway, watching Avengers Assemble to help cheer me up. I watched a couple of eps of Agents of SHIELD before and had an insane, gaspy, fangirl moment. Nearly choked on my cider ;)

Normal, hopefully less whingy, service will resume tomorrow.x
 
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Oh gosh - what a tough time you've had; Tetris has said exactly what I was thinking! I'm sorry you felt so ropey on Saturday, but thank goodness your work day yesterday was less manic then others you've had recently.

It is very difficult coming to terms with the comfort/reward thing at the best of times, and when you're having to cope with your illness and the stress you're under I'm not surprised you struggle. Is it worth trying to maintain for a while? Maybe until you've finished your studies and some of the pressure is off you? I know you're a fighter and don't like giving up but you wouldn't be giving up, just delaying a bit.

I would contact the ME societies for legal advice regarding your job so that if any issues crop up you do know what your rights are for things like time off for medical appointments, being made to work extra shifts etc. It is probably a good idea to request an appointment with the Occupational Health people; their job is to look for ways to enable you do your work and I suspect the ME societies would recommend you do this.

I hope you have a good day today.
 
NotsofattyPatty said:
Oh gosh - what a tough time you've had; Tetris has said exactly what I was thinking! I'm sorry you felt so ropey on Saturday, but thank goodness your work day yesterday was less manic then others you've had recently.

It is very difficult coming to terms with the comfort/reward thing at the best of times, and when you're having to cope with your illness and the stress you're under I'm not surprised you struggle. Is it worth trying to maintain for a while? Maybe until you've finished your studies and some of the pressure is off you? I know you're a fighter and don't like giving up but you wouldn't be giving up, just delaying a bit.

I would contact the ME societies for legal advice regarding your job so that if any issues crop up you do know what your rights are for things like time off for medical appointments, being made to work extra shifts etc. It is probably a good idea to request an appointment with the Occupational Health people; their job is to look for ways to enable you do your work and I suspect the ME societies would recommend you do this.

I hope you have a good day today.
Click to expand...

I have nothing to add - Patty always gives the best advice! x
 
Hey guys!
I'm so tired today. I seriously didn't want to get out of bed and stayed there until almost 1:30. But I needed a drink and a wee lol.

Patty I'm pretty much maintaining at the moment. I'm losing and gaining the same few pounds and I think if I was to slacken a bit like I did last year I would just keep putting on. And I bet if I did just try to maintain and loosen the reigns a bit then the extra treats and stuff would make a massive impact and I would definitely gain. Just feel a bit stuck. At least I know why tho! I mean, it's no mystery and it really is understandable, it's just frustrating is all.

Hopefully next week should be good-ish for me as I'll get an extra 4hrs/day off before my weekend and I'll have 3 days off after too - as it stands!! I should only be working Mon & Tues next week and then Thurs & Fri the week after - with an early weekend in between :) God my rota is confusing to explain LOL!

I think I'm going to hold off contacting anyone at the moment and see where the ME clinic goes. I'm pretty sure that's run by occupational health people isn't it Katie?? But I was supposed to be sent to my works occupational health people too, but that's never materialized and I don't know how to go about that myself. I will see how things calm down (if!) at work over the next couple of weeks and then try and book a catch-up with my boss and talk to her properly. It's scary though, it really is!

Definitely having a SW day today. My tummy's still feeling a bit wibbly so giving it some nice healthy stuff - definitely no cake ;) These IBS'y symptoms are awful! All day yesterday I had this horrible bloaty feeling and this gas that tasted like rotten eggs (sorry!) I would have thought maybe I'd eaten something bad, but I really can't think of anything. Anyone else with tummy problems get this?? It's very strange and gross ;)

I've done a lot of dishes and did a quick hoover of the living room. I realised at the weekend I've been rather slack with housework stuff - focusing more on the animals and course work and stuff. But now Mum's back in work I'm going to have to sort it out a bit more. Rather embarrassed that I've let it slide if I'm honest!
Have watched Neighbours and just catching up on The Wright Stuff from this morning and having a good rant-a-long over the badger cull :rolleyes:

Need to sort out the bunnies in a bit, but I have a feeling that will be it for the day. I really should do some coursework, but even my brain feels tired today - if that makes sense? So, going against the need to do the work, I think I need to go without today and try and play catch-up from tomorrow. Need to study for this exam re-sit too! Urgh.....
Anyway, will post food later :) xx
 
Just posted the photo's from Longleat and Stonehenge to my FB. This was something I couldn't do last year as I couldn't talk about fun/happy things on FB without affecting staff morale.....
Not sure if this is a good, brave, or stupid thing, but f*ck it. Have written a good description too, basically saying we didn't know how sick I was or if we'd even get another chance to go. In your face evil work people!!
Ahem.xx
 
Man I totally feel you on how f*cking frustrating weight loss is at the mo! Even that week I did alternate day fasting I got a bloody sts! I swear I dont go that crazy on the non fast days either, but the extra syns and hex's seem to add up... :( Really doesnt seem fair as I swear I'm not eating enough to even half compensate for the missed calories on fast days- arghgh. Losing and gaining the same 3lbs all f*cking year is so annoying!!

Your work always sounds so, so strenuous :( but what can you do? You love working with animals... Is there a less strenuous job within vetinary practices that you are working towards? X
 
Apart from a bad day like yesterday *whistles* I tend to stick to SW on my non-fast days and have maybe a couple of meals or one day off plan a week. I don't understand! Even last week, before I went a bit off-plan over the weekend I'd gained 1kg whilst having 2 fast days and 3 low syn SW days. How?! It makes no sense!
I agree, it's very frustrating! And I can't exercise more really, I'm already struggling as it is.

This is the job I want. It just happens to be in the busiest charity veterinary hospital in the country. Elsewhere, even in private practice, my job would be easier and simpler but I'd basically be a cleaner and a tea maker. If I want to leave where I am once I've qualified and worked the required amount after passing I would probably have to take a pay cut and a responsibility cut. Or re-train in another area of animal care.
I love my job, I do. It's not just that I'm working with animals but the fact I'm in a clinical post in a charity. It's what I've always wanted. I would hope that once the course is done my life will be much more enjoyable and a bit more simple. Definitely less pressure from work! I'd be able to walk away at the end of my week and not have to worry about studying, writing case studies, etc... So I know it will get better, it's just getting there that's the problem!
I don't want to leave where I work, at least not for a long time - or as long as I can physically do the job. It's not only my job but the care I get for my animals (I couldn't afford Ellie's meds privately and she wouldn't be taken on by an insurer now), the people I work with, the training available, and also I have a really, really good pension with them. And I need to think about mine and the animals future.
There's a lot riding on me being able to do this job. Which isn't helping, but that's the way it is! Meh....x
 
Hey matey!
I'm currently watching an episode of Agents of SHIELD :)

I am indeed working tomorrow. I'm working Tues - Fri this week. Lates tomorrow and Wednesday again!

The pain is horrendous today, particularly in my head, neck, and back :( absolutely everything hurts tho. Have given up and going up the stairs on my hands and feet - much easier that way even if I do look like a big wally ;) Not so much a chilled evening. Have done 2 loads of dishes (my Sister cooked for her and Mum and she's super messy!) and tidied the kitchen. Also put my washing on the airer. I'm really, really tired *mega yawn*

I want to watch a film, but not sure I can stay up too late. Might put on an ep of The Bridge, not seen one in ages. Need to get my glasses for the subtitles though - rather fuzzy today!

Apart from all that, believe it or not, I'm in a better frame of mind today :) xx
 
Monday food: SW Green day to get the ball rolling :)

Lunch:
2 free Quorn sausages
Half a tin of spaghetti
Cheesy scrambled eggs with mushroom and red pepper (half HexA1)
Wholemeal toast (HexB1)
Tomato sauce (1)

Tea:
Quorn roast leftover from yesterday
Mash mixed with sprouts
Roasted new potatoes
A spoonful of new potatoes and spinach my sister had made
Microwave veg bag - broccoli, cauliflower, and carrots
3tsp of gravy granules
Small bits of cranberry sauce & piccalilli
Around 5 syns in all.

Snack:
2 Weetabix (HexB2)
Koko milk (rest of HexA1)
Banana
2tsp of maple syrup (1)

Drinks: Coffee. Coke Zero

Syns used: 7
Syns saved: 8
 
Right, I'm giving up and going to bed. My head is really painful and it's making me feel sick. Even my glasses aren't helping now.

This will sound odd, but my head feels very tired! Not just my eyes or the pain, but it "feels" tired. Hopefully I'm not talking complete b*llocks!

Have just watched an ep of The Bridge and I'm gonna take the dogs in to the garden for a wee. The fence panel is still broken, but if I go out and prop it up and stand near it the dogs can come out in to the garden safe enough. Still a bloody hassle, but at least I'm not having to take them out on leads every time now :) Stupid fence! Can't wait for it to be fixed.

Anyway, goodnight all and thank you for the lovely messages.xx
 
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