Hello ladies
I am having to tell some new people and also today was the first day at work with the majority of people in - so lots of hugs and "I'm sorry"'s, which is nice, it really is. But a constant reminder!
My work friend brought Ellie home for us last night. She didn't tell me, but she didn't want me to have to go in and see her, she wanted to make sure I had time - so grateful!! I missed her by about a minute though because we were having a friend get together and then going to a fireworks display! But luckily Mum got home in time. Becci even offered to stay with her or take Ellie home with her until I was in. but it was fine. It was probably nice for Mum to have a bit of time alone without me being there.
I was ok when I first saw the casket and it's so nice and they engraved "Ellie big dog" on it for me. But before I went to bed I wanted to give myself time to do the inevitable. So I sat with her on my knee and cried for ages. Can't believe my beautiful big dog is now a pile of ashes in a box. Just doesn't even make sense at the moment
But, she's home and next to Jack in the living room.
I'm thinking of having a pendant made using a little bit of her ashes. Not something I would ever think of doing and I hate sentimental sh*t
But it feels right. Have been emailing a guy about a design inspired by her collar. So hoping that will be nice!! Plus, if I find it too weird or don't want to wear it it's not very expensive and it's still a pretty keepsake.
Off out for tea tonight at the veggie place for Darrin from work's leaving party. He's going travelling again, but work wouldn't give him another sabbatical, so he's leaving leaving!!! We'll all keep in touch tho and I reckon he'll be back!!
Food wise I am still eating silly things. But gone two days without wine or whisky!! I am taking some wine with me tonight tho!!
I have decided that I will give myself the rest of this week and then I need to get back to healthy eating and as normal a life as mine normally is lol.
I had an ME group session again yesterday. All about graded activity. Would have been useful 12 months ago!! But good to know I've been doing the right thing mostly anyway. i should get a 1 on 1 appointment within the next two months as well to start that side of things
I also have an appointment for my PIP assessment - eeek!! It's next Wednesday. Mum's taking some time off work to come with me because it's on the other side of Liverpool and somewhere I never go. Plus, it helps to have someone with you I think. Been talking to my work friend who's fiance not long had his, just for advice really. Worth a shot eh?!
Anyway guys I hope you are all ok. I'm sorry I've not been around much, but I know you understand
xx