ClaireCat:A Weightloss Trilogy

[ClaireCat]

Yeah, I should have done that. But I ate 3 small cookies. I say small, not to make it seem better, but because they were. Have put them away. Don't know why I ate them, they wernt even that nice. Going to go make tea and have a lemon bar. God I just want to snack today.

 

[ClaireCat]

Is an absolute idiot.

What did I learn from eating 3 cookies? That I may aswell order a mixed kebab (with no pita - obv watching carbs. HA, cuz that makes it better, Claire) with mayo and eat all of it, even though half way through I thought I was going to explode.

Felt like I could burst from all that food. I do this every Saturday. I seem to think that rewarding myself with food is the way to go. Am I a dog? No. So why do I do it?! And the whole "must finish everything on my plate" thing is obv instilled from childhood and I really have to snap out of that.

Idiot.

I actually have a day off plan on Tuesday for valentines because I'm having a spa day and lunch of tea, cakes and sandwiches is included. Im so mad at myself for today. I hope I'm ill because of it. Stupid stupid.

 

[ladyfelsham]

Morning babes

Don't be so hard on yourself, all of our learned eating behaviour isn't going to go away overnight - I'm an "eat until I burst" person too, ditto "hoover the plate clean". But from what other people say in their diaries here, there are some techniques that can hopefully help - using a smaller plate, doing nice things so you "reward" yourself with shopping, a nice bath, painting your nails, that sort of thing.

I am going to have to unlearn a whole lot of bad habits - particularly, not hitting the red wine bigtime when I'm stressed. I've done it for years and it's usually all about work (which won't change) - but it has to stop, not just because VLCD and alcohol don't mix, but I'm sick of the after effects anyway.

 

[ClaireCat]

I just want to eat today - again. Got my goddam period, again. Absolutely hate ketosis because it seems to give me constant totm. Managed a whole week without a period there. Knew it was too good to be true. PCOS and ketosis dont really seem to be a great combination, for me, anyway.

So, for motivation, I've been looking to see what weighs about the same as the 24lbs I've lost.

An average 2 year old child weighs about 25lbs. It disturbs me to compare my weight loss to a child, so, its also about the same amount of weight as one of those large trade tubs of paint

And they're pretty heavy! So thats my motivation for today.

But I'm still pissed off about getn another ****ing period!!!!!!

 

[ladyfelsham]

I love the comparison to the paint, love - will kep that in mind for myself

Sorry about totm though, Atkins always gives me 2 a month - and when they last for over a week each, well bleurgh

 

[BordersGirl]

I used to be a really big wine drinker too and once I had a glass it usually turned into 3 or more but I've found that I don't really crave it now. There has been the odd occasion where I've thought that a glass of wine would be nice but that's usually because I just fancy one, not that I want to use it to deal with stress. Ultimately food and alcohol do not need to be used to deal with stress. You just need to find other things to help you to unwind. Distration techniques like coming on here in the evening definitely help me. Not throwing carbs and alcohol down my throat at a drop of a hat is definitely healthier too!

 

[ladyfelsham]

Thanks BG, that's really helpful - good to know there is light at the end of the tunnel

 

[ClaireCat]

Ok. So today I woke up so disappointed in myself. I stood on the scales and I'm 4lbs up from my WI yesterday morning. *shakes head in dis-belief at her own stupidity*

Been good all day, but all I've thought about is packing it in. I wont do it, but I'm a bit depressed and just want to eat biscuits and crisps. Oh, which reminds me, I better take my tablets! lol! Good thinking batman!

Anyway, to distract myself from eating today I have measured the kitchen for new tiling and flooring and then rearranged the stuff on my worktops (micro, kettle etc). So my OH will be utterly confused when he gets in from work later and the entire kitchen has changed! lol!

I'm not staring at clothes on ebay looking to order myself some more size 14's. I'm a size 14 on top at the moment - shirts are still a bit tight just now tho. Bottoms I'm still a 16, but I'm hoping to shrink at some point this month. Cant decide whether I should be looking at size 12 tops aswell, just incase!

I know I'm coming off plan on Tuesday, so I'm hoping to STS this week, but, if by Saturday, I have gained, then I cant really be shocked about it.

I hate weekends. I have no routine and weekends usually always revolved around food. Hence the size of my bum! Must find willpower by next Friday night, cant keep going round in circles.

 

[BordersGirl]

This is how I amuse myself at weekends for distraction and do clothes shopping currently. Find online shop with free shipping, a 28 day return policy and free returns. Order clothes in a snug fit and try on when they arrive (should be too tight). Keep for 20 odd days and try on each week to assess progress. Send back (if they don't suit) within the 28 period and order more in the next size down . All of my new size 16s are going back this week and being replaced with 14s.

 

[ClaireCat]

Does anyone else feel really tired on this diet? I think I've been asleep, or at least constantly yawning since I started in January.

Honestly feel like i could put my head on my desk and nod off.

 

[gunpowd3r]

Yessss Claire ultra tired like everything is such a big task lol

Glad to see you got back on it after your blip

Keeping yourself occupied is half the battle lol

Good luck with the rest of today

 

[ClaireCat]

Thanks hunni. I got my food parcel this morning at work. Rob's a wee sweetheart, so he is. He gave me a free shaker and multi-vitamins (must have sensed my tiredness! lol!). He also gave me a measuring tape and a sheet to record my inch losses. Might just measure myself when I get home.

I've got a planned day off tomorrow, which I'm feeling a bit guilty about now tbh, but as long as I dont gain this week, I'll be quite happy with a sts. I dont have anything else planned after that until my sister's birthday in June, so hopefully I'll not fall off the wagon too many times between now and then.

Going to have a lemon bar for lunch

 

[Krissykat]

Tsk I've never got so much as a free sample! I shall complain lol
What did you get this week?
I tried the hazlenut shake last night, was abit meh. Haven't really liked any of the shakes so far

 

[gunpowd3r]

Oooh lucky you i got the measuring tape and shaker but no vits lol but then i think he knew we were not on 3 a day hehe. He is sending me another shaker well this will be the thrid as he forgot my 2nd one in the order so sent one las tmon which has gone missing so bless him he sending another!!! How good is that for customer service

This is our first valentines in 8 years we will not be having our meal out boohoo but we can celebrate with a meal in i will make the veg extra special lmao bit more chilli should do it
Can't even be bothered with a card as i feel like ignoring it this year as it is'nt laden with choc and fatty foods....baaaad me, terrible how it's another excuse for a gorging session lol.

Anyways you are sounding raring to go Enjoy your bar!

 

[BordersGirl]

Hey gunpowd3r there are things you can do to celebrate Valentine's day that don't involve food by the way!


:heartpump: :love: :bananalove::love: :heartpump:

 

[ClaireCat]

This week I got Spag bol, cottage pie and chilli. Shake wise: choc, caramel and choc crisp. And I got the truffa, lemon and muesli bars and a couple of choc wafers to try.

Feel asleep and hungry, all at the same time today. Not a good combination lol

 

[Krissykat]

Love the wafers! They could be dangerous though cos theyre soooo good!

 

[gunpowd3r]

I am not even ordering the wafers lol i feel they would be too much like a biscuit :-O

LOL BG hadn't thought of the other stuff that happens on valentines hehe

 

[ClaireCat]

OMG I'm starving today. Sitting at work going through paperwork from a butchers shop and it just smells like steak.

All I can think about is steak!!!

 

[TaraTeal]

hahah aww bless you. Just think of the fat melting off your body, that's exactly what s&s does, it just falls off! x