CLUCKS - thoughts/diary/notes to self....
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CLUCKS
Full Member
Day wateva??????????
Well got through another day & night - yesterday is a mere memory!
I've shed 11lbs this week - so feeling positive, not hungry but had a headache yesterday! I also feel cold - a still feel cold today.
I'm approaching the packs differently than last time & am mixing my CD packs & remaining LL ones & am on about 480 cals a day with everything.
I fill 2ltr bottle first thing which is gone by about 10am, then I'm having a hot coffee, I split a cambridge pack in 2 so that I can have to warm drinks at work. Then more water so I'm up to about 4l by 1-2 o'clockish. Then my other warm drink and more water.
I then have 2 savoury packs, 1 as crisps & 1 as soup with dried chives, tonne of black pepper and loads of tabasco sauce.
THEN if I need to I can have half a bar later in the evening.... It's working so far xxxxxxxx
Well got through another day & night - yesterday is a mere memory!
I've shed 11lbs this week - so feeling positive, not hungry but had a headache yesterday! I also feel cold - a still feel cold today.
I'm approaching the packs differently than last time & am mixing my CD packs & remaining LL ones & am on about 480 cals a day with everything.
I fill 2ltr bottle first thing which is gone by about 10am, then I'm having a hot coffee, I split a cambridge pack in 2 so that I can have to warm drinks at work. Then more water so I'm up to about 4l by 1-2 o'clockish. Then my other warm drink and more water.
I then have 2 savoury packs, 1 as crisps & 1 as soup with dried chives, tonne of black pepper and loads of tabasco sauce.
THEN if I need to I can have half a bar later in the evening.... It's working so far xxxxxxxx
CLUCKS
Full Member
Feeling miffed.........
Weekend out the way - I could of been better but I could of been worse.... So i followed 790 in order that I wouldnt go on a binge
- which I didnt so that's goodish really.
I went to see my CDC - lovely lady as I've not been for weeks and weeks. When I got on her scales I'm 13.5 not 12.12 which is what my scales say.
Now I know that I weigh first thing, starkers etc etc but it was only 11am & I've only had 1ltr water & half a pack . Now I feel all depressed that I'm not as far along as I thought .
I'm really really angry with myself for losing it all and putting the entire lot back on! What an idiot - how can I have been so bloody stupid!!!! I had the opportunity in Nov 06 of changing & I took the greedy route & decided what I ate back then was wat I preferred so here I am 6months later WISHING that I wasn't.
WHEN AM I GOING TO GET THIS RIGHT . Sorry guyz but I need to have a go at myself I feel like a prat! Also frustrated because I do not know why I have done this?????????????
:cry:
Weekend out the way - I could of been better but I could of been worse.... So i followed 790 in order that I wouldnt go on a binge
- which I didnt so that's goodish really.I went to see my CDC - lovely lady as I've not been for weeks and weeks. When I got on her scales I'm 13.5 not 12.12 which is what my scales say.
Now I know that I weigh first thing, starkers etc etc but it was only 11am & I've only had 1ltr water & half a pack
. Now I feel all depressed that I'm not as far along as I thought . I'm really really angry with myself for losing it all and putting the entire lot back on! What an idiot - how can I have been so bloody stupid!!!! I had the opportunity in Nov 06 of changing & I took the greedy route & decided what I ate back then was wat I preferred so here I am 6months later WISHING that I wasn't.
WHEN AM I GOING TO GET THIS RIGHT
. Sorry guyz but I need to have a go at myself I feel like a prat! Also frustrated because I do not know why I have done this?????????????:cry:
CLUCKS
Full Member
Sorry to go on..........
Sorry - I had to go for a bit .... I'm still fuming, only with myself though.
Had long chat to the CDC & she thinks that 790 might be the way forward for me so that I can STOP what I think is falling off the wagon which for me results in a binge rather than constant attempts at SS .... I'm thinking about SS'ing Mon-Fri which is a doddle for me as I've got into the framework druing working hours. THEN if I feel the need to eat I can 790 Sat Sun to enjoy family life being a bit more involved :jelous: .
Not sure about it all yet - so I'll have a little think on it all during the day ......... x
Sorry - I had to go for a bit
.... I'm still fuming, only with myself though.Had long chat to the CDC & she thinks that 790 might be the way forward for me so that I can STOP what I think is falling off the wagon which for me results in a binge rather than constant attempts at SS
.... I'm thinking about SS'ing Mon-Fri which is a doddle for me as I've got into the framework druing working hours. THEN if I feel the need to eat I can 790 Sat Sun to enjoy family life being a bit more involved :jelous: .Not sure about it all yet - so I'll have a little think on it all during the day
......... x
CLUCKS
Full Member
....... moving on a bit
I have just been to the shops and bought myself a size 14 black fitted shorts suit .... I dont usually do this sort of thing but decided to give myself all the excuses I want in order for me to achieve my life long goal of losing weight and STAYING SLIM... Talk to CDC at length about how I've got in this mess & she thinks I've found my 'click' moment. Which was the realisation of where I ended up, back at the beginning.
I'm feeling motivated, hydrated and yes I'm still really pissed at the scales thing, imagine how I'dve felt if I'd got on then last week I'd probably have binged, binged and binged a bit more. So here I am weighing in at 13.5 with 3 and half stone to lose. I 'm gonna bloody well do it xxx
I have just been to the shops and bought myself a size 14 black fitted shorts suit .... I dont usually do this sort of thing but decided to give myself all the excuses I want in order for me to achieve my life long goal of losing weight and STAYING SLIM... Talk to CDC at length about how I've got in this mess & she thinks I've found my 'click' moment. Which was the realisation of where I ended up, back at the beginning.I'm feeling motivated, hydrated and yes I'm still really pissed at the scales thing, imagine how I'dve felt if I'd got on then last week
I'd probably have binged, binged and binged a bit more. So here I am weighing in at 13.5 with 3 and half stone to lose. I 'm gonna bloody well do it xxx
CLUCKS
Full Member
TIME TO MOVE ON.....
Dear All
Thought I should update my diary - after being attacked & beaten up by my husband 3 wks ago I had temporarily moved in with my bro & family, split eye, black eye fractured nose and fractured cheekbone.... they have been gr8, really supportive etc etc but my bro broke his ankle walking theirs and my dog last Sat night - another trip for us to the hospital. Then on Thu my dog bit my 4yr old nephew, he was teasing and teasing him he'd got the dog backed into a corner and had no where to go. My nephew had been told not to keep pulling the dogs face and poking his fingers in his eyes but hey, he's already had 2 sets of stitches to the face due to defying his parents - now he has 3. the dog just caught his top lip but I was in the house, with them all on my own. I had to drive him to get help with him on my lap at which point I was nearly hysterical all I could see was blood and his lip was torn. Few days later he's looking good but I am still suffering flashbacks.... So I have gone to my mums for a few days whilst still waiting for husband to move out. He's going to temporarily stay at his mothers which is in the same street - not that I am bothered.
I was looking into taking a 12 month mortgage holiday - in that time he would have sufficient funds to rent a 1 bedroom place and I can stay in the house so that during this time we can see if living apart is better for all of us kids included.
Kids dont want to know him - I have tried to get them to remain equal but kids are kids and they know what they know and see what they see. I ask them if they want to see of call him on the phone - they dont. What can I do?
Obviously at this time I have been able to concentrate on packs and SSing but I am starting to feel that my life as done a complete full turn and maybe perhaps that this is the time for me to really do something positive for me!
xxxxx
Dear All
Thought I should update my diary - after being attacked & beaten up by my husband 3 wks ago I had temporarily moved in with my bro & family, split eye, black eye fractured nose and fractured cheekbone.... they have been gr8, really supportive etc etc but my bro broke his ankle walking theirs and my dog last Sat night - another trip for us to the hospital. Then on Thu my dog bit my 4yr old nephew, he was teasing and teasing him he'd got the dog backed into a corner and had no where to go. My nephew had been told not to keep pulling the dogs face and poking his fingers in his eyes but hey, he's already had 2 sets of stitches to the face due to defying his parents - now he has 3. the dog just caught his top lip but I was in the house, with them all on my own. I had to drive him to get help with him on my lap at which point I was nearly hysterical all I could see was blood and his lip was torn. Few days later he's looking good but I am still suffering flashbacks.... So I have gone to my mums for a few days whilst still waiting for husband to move out. He's going to temporarily stay at his mothers which is in the same street - not that I am bothered.
I was looking into taking a 12 month mortgage holiday - in that time he would have sufficient funds to rent a 1 bedroom place and I can stay in the house so that during this time we can see if living apart is better for all of us kids included.
Kids dont want to know him - I have tried to get them to remain equal but kids are kids and they know what they know and see what they see. I ask them if they want to see of call him on the phone - they dont. What can I do?
Obviously at this time I have been able to concentrate on packs and SSing but I am starting to feel that my life as done a complete full turn and maybe perhaps that this is the time for me to really do something positive for me!
xxxxx
SHAZA
Silver Member
Oh Clare
I am so sorry ~ you have had an awful time of it
I hope everything works out ok for you but most of all keep you and your kids safe from harm
Stay with your family where you are loved and cared for until the dust settles
I am sending you love and an angel to guide you
Shaza
I am so sorry ~ you have had an awful time of it
I hope everything works out ok for you but most of all keep you and your kids safe from harm
Stay with your family where you are loved and cared for until the dust settles
I am sending you love and an angel to guide you
Shaza
CLUCKS
Full Member
Thanks x
Thanks Shazza for your kind words!
I feel in a real no where zone at the mo! No where to live til I get back in the house & not even sure if I want to live back there at all! Husband is now following the 'I'm an alcoholic, it was the drink that made me flip' mode - meaning I am now the home breaker as I want him out of mu house and life and kids dont wanna know him either, this then makes him the victim!???!!!????
I just dont know what I want, what to say to him other than the fact that he beat the living cr@p out of me was merely the final thing rather than the thing that we are all focussing on and I feel we are talking about splitting up as he did this. The fact is that things have been **** for a few years - his miserableness, mood swings and general demeanour in the house cause no end of problems for me and the kids!
Him now sayng that he's a re-formed drinker now and because of this we can get back together ring soundless to me!
I've asked him for years to change, to help, to listen, to cheer up - nothing! I work longer hours than him, earn more money therefore I expect support and partnership with regards to the house, kids and our life he's never given me a damn thing! No support, nothing - oh except to tell me I've put on weight!
And yes I have 3 stone of fat all to cushion myself and protect me from the outside world - well not anymore!!!!! I am going to start SSing - just need to decide what day is best for me!
xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx
Thanks Shazza for your kind words!
I feel in a real no where zone at the mo! No where to live til I get back in the house & not even sure if I want to live back there at all! Husband is now following the 'I'm an alcoholic, it was the drink that made me flip' mode - meaning I am now the home breaker as I want him out of mu house and life and kids dont wanna know him either, this then makes him the victim!???!!!????
I just dont know what I want, what to say to him other than the fact that he beat the living cr@p out of me was merely the final thing rather than the thing that we are all focussing on and I feel we are talking about splitting up as he did this. The fact is that things have been **** for a few years - his miserableness, mood swings and general demeanour in the house cause no end of problems for me and the kids!
Him now sayng that he's a re-formed drinker now and because of this we can get back together ring soundless to me!
I've asked him for years to change, to help, to listen, to cheer up - nothing! I work longer hours than him, earn more money therefore I expect support and partnership with regards to the house, kids and our life he's never given me a damn thing! No support, nothing - oh except to tell me I've put on weight!
And yes I have 3 stone of fat all to cushion myself and protect me from the outside world - well not anymore!!!!! I am going to start SSing - just need to decide what day is best for me!
xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx
CLUCKS
Full Member
Gearing myself up and up........
I can feel the positive vibes starting to filter through..... Thanks for your kind words all of you - so wonderful that people from all walks of life can help when you've not even met them or known them that long!!!!!
I'm going to get drunk at some point this weekend - probably have a little cry with my bessie mate! Eat comfort food IF I want but not def - not been that bothered just not been able to have packs as still staying with relatives who feel the need to mother me and the kids after our crisis! So I'm making the most of being 'looked after'..........
I'm looking to start on either Sun or Mon, I dont work Sun and Mon is only a shortish day so can get home for an early night if necessary!
I'm looking to lost 3 - 3 & half stone - I'm about 13 and a half at the mo.
I cant wait to start posting positive things and sharing it all again! I've missed it all.
Once again, thanks for your support and kindness - much apreciated xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx
I can feel the positive vibes starting to filter through..... Thanks for your kind words all of you - so wonderful that people from all walks of life can help when you've not even met them or known them that long!!!!!
I'm going to get drunk at some point this weekend - probably have a little cry with my bessie mate! Eat comfort food IF I want but not def - not been that bothered just not been able to have packs as still staying with relatives who feel the need to mother me and the kids after our crisis! So I'm making the most of being 'looked after'..........
I'm looking to start on either Sun or Mon, I dont work Sun and Mon is only a shortish day so can get home for an early night if necessary!
I'm looking to lost 3 - 3 & half stone - I'm about 13 and a half at the mo.
I cant wait to start posting positive things and sharing it all again! I've missed it all.
Once again, thanks for your support and kindness - much apreciated xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx
