You have got to stop being so hard on yourself. It is really not good for you. There is no wonder you feel like you keep messing up, you don't ever give yourself a break. You are human, you are bound to slip up from time to time. Nothing you did is TOO big it can't be dealt with and righted. Everyone on here and on myfitnesspal have been in the same boat at some point.
Draw a line under this whole thing, take a step back, a deep breath and start again.
You have already lost alot of weight, so you can continue to do the same.
Last Sunday I went out fro dinner and ate a chocolate caramel sundae that came in at a massive 700 calories. I thought I had messed everything up and I haven't even had my first weigh in yet!!! I listened to everyones fantastic advice and pulled myself together.
You will get there Crystal, just have a bit of faith in yourself.
Lots and lots of love xxx