ELM,
Will stick my tuppence worth in here... xoxo
I don't know or will say catergorically it's a Virgo thing per se... too down in the guts of life to be too mystic in my take, but it at the same time astounds me how it seems to be right. There was a time I'd tap into my intuition, something all virgos I know seem to be able to do, and be able to say someone's star sign.. am way to practical I kept telling myself and still do as wobetide.. I like that devils advocate to test me once and test me again...
Is duality and just plain security...? I hate to admit it, as has been the case most of my life, but security blankets and stability are a big thing for us all... and it's hightened with all Virgos I've known and come across, as well as addiction of some kind and I mean that in the broadest sense, if we go for it we go for it whole hog and all... I was OCD at one point, obsessive about my calorie and exercise intake at another.. drank too much another time... then the food thing came along.. I've known virgos who've become addicted like you say to addiction... it's something I've come to accept as just part of my make up for whatever, and a lot of virgos I know, drugs for some, exercise for others, weight obsession for someone else, rebellion for another... you fit.. have you ever. Just said to your self you fit. You fit into a life as your life took its path when you were at high school, same with work... same with family same with in laws... have you given yourself permission to say you fit... ??
When I wasn't able to do that, I projected that in my obsession for exercise and gazelleness, you fought the crowd not to conform and do your own thing, but you questioned that.. that's another one, questioning yourself too much.. I'm guilty of it.. that's the analytical part of me coming out.
It's interesting you bumped into the high school lady... you zoomed straight back... I'm 3 inches shorter than you, but was happily walking in my 3/4 inch wedge boots today.. everyone I went to school was shorter, most my age are... something in the water as only in the last two decades the majority all seem to be tall, those 20 years younger... so I hear you.. I was the lanky one, all were in my family.. also had the short boyfriends hahaha...
You have it together lady, and am not convinced, although don't know enough to say other than believing my intuition re my next words to you, you have a good life. You want the added security and you have it, I know you think it may be lost... we all do, but like you know we could fall in front of a bus tomorrow..
Breathe, sounds to me life eating your " different foods" was a rebellion on your part for not being with the " in " crowd of girls.. who we know can all be a tad too bitchy, or that's what we think, some are yes, but again some who were and are popular aren't bitchy, they just are, they walk around in there lives not knowing others think they're bitchy when that's far from who they are it's all perception.
It's usually the girls who look at these girls and have made up their mind they must be horrid because they seem to have there act together, maybe they do maybe they don't, how's that going to change the grass under YOUR feet..? ;D...???
( does this make sense..? )
What I'm getting at ELM, sometimes we can't see the wood for the trees... virgos are guilty of over thinking... urghh hate that in myself gets me in all sorts of trouble and in times of stress over exaggerated exasperated..
You've rebelled and ate.. and possibly looking for excuses to things that don't need excuses... I'm projecting here too by the way.. I'm exactly like that..
See it's ok to try new things, it's great to try new things, you can continue to try new foods, but a mouthful or two max is enough... I don't know what your MIL, background is, ever considered she's envious of you...?? Here she is the gazelle, a little judgy... and she's had what she thinks had to work so hard and here's you, she thinks you've found her son who is wonderful and you share a wonderful life together she may like or think she prefers to her own..? Just a thought..
Women can be seriously messed up.. this dual stuff..? I posted a picture left my face out, but apparently I've been told wherever I go, I could be Spanish, Italian, mixed race, ooo what are you..? Anglo Indian.. Arabic, Persian your something but can't put my finger on it.. yup people say that to my face ... am like wtf... apparently I have some odd look stuff going on.. let them get on with it..
Crikey errr... rattling on.. and was naughty today.. LTL I had a couple of prawn crackers and a few chilli crisps.. no defence...
But I have this, am not going to be giving up on my journey... why... ok, am shallow, I have 2 spare bedrooms filled with my clothes that don't fit into my bedroom or me anymore of all my size 8 clothes of Prada, Hugo boss, halston heritage, and the rest, hilfiger Donna Karan, FRIGGIN everything. ( I love...) yup.. ELM, virgos like to spend
I want to be wearing them again, all classics and pieces I lurve, how sad am I ??
that's my motivation for weight loss too, daughter and health number 1 and 2 priority.. I love my clothes.... yup ok, hands up.. am a saddo.. but I'm my own saddo... and I love everyone unless they do me an injustice.. just like you ELM...
Your statement addicted to addiction, is just a Virgo trait, no amount of time and money in the therapists chair will change that one... you I feel don't need a therapist. You need the one person who can help you. That's just you lady.. and you know it; stop following the expected fad, going to a therapist as the norm... or expectation..
Stress anxiety are nasty critters, but you know... I know you know that you're thinking about thinking for thinkings sake..
Yes you are addicted to addiction, accept that and decide what that will be for now and moving forward for a while. I would love everyone, me included to be happy, be loved, feel love and loose angst for the silly stuff we big ourselves down with.. this gets us into all sorts of messes.. weight gain being a not so nice one...
I feel the grass under my bare feet, every frigging blade..: even with all the challenges in my life, I wouldn't ever give that up things I will always want, and that's probably material things, that's in everyone's nature, I just want to make sure my now not so baby girl has every opportunity, that fulfils me... for now, who knows some fella will come along, maybe if I can be bothered... but now I'm seriously done with so much, I want to see the wood for the trees...
ELM, do you hear me, STOP! Questioning yourself, questioning what others may think, it's not at the front of your mind, but creeps in ever so slightly sometimes at the back of your mind, for anyone else, water of a ducks back, for you, a little maybe too much for you, so STOP it. Don't question your being. I can already see and read between those hidden lines, YOURE AMAZING. And you attract that... hence your lovely husband.
Now, focus... we still have a way to go... I started this journey at approx 99kg ( that's a 40kg gain for me in the space of 10 months I've kept on for 2 years..
You're currently where I started I think... I have another 22 kg min to shift still, it may take a while, but hoping you and I will get to our goals and will be able to virtually pat each other on the back for a job well done..
Oh... so when you're ready, you'll be ready, everything you want to do happens when you are ready, everything else is just white noise
your a cool chick
the Royal we... silly expression, Like you..
And you like you, spreadthose toes in the grass under your feet lady
Xxx
