I just don't know where to begin.
All along with this bedroom thing we've been told we could keep the bed in the room. That was always fine. Just turn it on it's side. So we did with a few cases and boxes piled up behind it. So we had the bed on it's side bottom out, with the headboard pointing to the wall, with a gap between the mattress and the wall to put some boxes and cases that we couldn't get in the garage.
The bedroom was delivered on Tuesday, the guys said yes that's fine leave the bed there. It's not my problem that they dumped the stuff in the middle of the room where the fitter was supposed to work.
It's also not flat pack, this stuff (unknown to us) has to be jigsawed to size and shape in the bedroom. So of course I wouldn't want the bed in there at the same time because of the dust, but I didn't know that. We were also told it was a two day job, then a three day job, when they booked it in for fitting it was then a two day job again. I queried it, but it remained a two day job. The fitter now says it's a three day job.
The fitter arrived this morning at just after 8am, and said it was impossible he didn't have anywhere to work. The stuff had to be moved. I was just then completely overcome with stress and broke down. I had to leave to get the kids to school. I told him if he couldn't do it, he'd have to go, I said we were told what we'd done was fine. I said I didn't have time to move anything. I said I didn't have anywhere to put anything. He went and sat in his car.
I cried down the phone to the designers VM saying that I didn't know what to do I had to get the kids to school. I cried down the phone to Danny who came home, but he was an hour and a half away in London. I cried down the phone to Dad who came round just 24 hours after having his leg out of plaster.
I took Gemma to school, it was when I was in the coffee shop waiting for Matt's nursery to open that Dad rang to say that he'd moved the cases out of the bedroom, that the fitter had dismantled the bed and put that against the wall, and our mattress was against Gemma's fitted wardrobes. There had been conversations between Dad and the designer saying that Dad didn't appreciate me phoning him in tears etc etc. The company's solution was that they would send in a driver from somewhere to help move the stuff, but by that time Dad with his leg only just out of plaster had already done it.
I am just so stressed. I can't cope. It wouldn't even have been a problem for me to say, you'll have to leave it until lunch time when I get back from the nursery run because that's the only time I have during the day to shift things that now all of a sudden need shifting. But because I have this elevated level of stress anyway, anything on top of that gives me a complete inability to see a way out of a situation. And it all gets overwhelming. And I just CAN'T COPE.
The fitter is working up there now. I've offered him a drink which is something I just couldn't DO earlier, I can't explain it, but it was like I had to hide away from him.
Gill one of my counsellors and saviours of the day came round and sat with me throughout my session this morning. I started before 10 and finished after 11 and then went straight into preparation to leave the house and get Matt, so there just was no time to do anything else. Danny came home and Gill left. I gave her a Lumines II game and a memory stick duo for a PSP she's buying because I was just so fking grateful for not being on my own this morning.
I suppose this is just a knock on effect from post natal depression and the fact that I probably didn't grieve when Mum died.
(And for those wondering about my ability to not eat during stress - I've just discovered I don't eat during stress, I only eat when bored. So that's OK)
But what happened to my ability to cope with things? Why am I a complete wreck?
I think you reacted the way most of us would.....after all, nothing worked out the way you had planned.....no wonder you struggled !