Deflating the Bouncy Castle

Hope it goes well today and you managed some sleep.

I will be drinking fizz on 18th April - so a bit wary of how tipsy I may get in a short time!
 
ofsted went well. husband bough me a half bottle of proper champagne, which was lovely, and then i fell asleep - to wake up a couple of hours later to the news that one of my friends, a truly vibrant, talented, sunshiney boy of 27, died on wednesday night. since then i have been taking stock. horribly bewildered.

due to start step 5 next week, which is basically just calorie counting, so have placed my first dietchef order. and tomorrow i'm going out with my family for my first restauraunt meal since last july. i chose for us to go to the loch fyne restaurant... fish and seafood is pretty low cal on the whole. sorry - not feeling very effusive.
 
So so sorry to hear that hun, big hugs xxxx
 
What a shock and how tragic! I'm so sorry for your loss.
 
Oh Spangles, what awful news. Big hugs xx
 
So sorry to hear about your loss Spangles. xxx
 
Such sad news. Hugs.x
 
Just caught up with posts. My deepest condolences for the sad loss of you friend. I imagine you are still reeling from the news. Glad you got through Ofsted but it probably pails into insignficance at this time. Big hugs honey. xx
 
Hugs .... can't really say anything else xxx
 
I hope you are ok Spangles.....just wanted you to know that I have read your whole diary and I really hope I can be as strong as you have been. Congrats on your weight loss and I'm sorry for your loss.
 
:-( Ohhhh how horrible. Talking about steps and CD must seek insignificant in the context of things. I hope you are ok as can be x
 
I'm fine, thanks all. It has come at a time when I feel less involved with CD so I haven't much to say... But I'll still pop in and keep an eye on you all. Two more weeks til NYC so am on step5 now, which is basically just calorie counting.

This gives me the freedom to make bad choices, and that's really so important. And my choices haven't been perfect (though they haven't been bad - and I've not gone over the 1500, though I did start this step a few days early to enable that) but I need to be able to indulge myself sensibly, from time to time. Finding a way to fit in a fairy cake and still stay within a day of sensible eating.

So far that seems to be a combination of being super wary, weighing up the least bad option, and noticing how certain foods make me feel. Yesterday I walked about a mile and a half to the supermarket and back, and I'd meant to take a CD bar with me, but forgot. Decided to substitute it for blueberries, but couldn't find any, and couldn't find anything healthy that appealed in the same way... So I chose a toffee apple. Around the same cals as a bar, obv high in sugar, but far better than lots of other things. And I was mindful the rest of the day, missed dessert (oh yes, such is the suggested structure of step 5) and noticed that it stimulated my appetite in a really unhelpful way.

Because life doesn't all fit in with my food plans. Mon-Friday are fine, and most weekends are controlled, but some things require my judgement and adjustment. Thinking on the go. Allowing pleasure and empty calories, but in a limited, non bingey way. I'm feeling really confident in my ability to stay binge free, at the moment. Because all those months of abstaining may not teach you anything about nutrition, or portion control, or making healthy choices... But they do force you to break all the habits and compulsions and self-medication that food can engender.

I've coped with stress and grief and celebration repeatedly in the last eight months, and I've had to do so without food (or booze). And I've coped better. My outcomes have been better. I feel very positive.
 
spangles said:
I'm fine, thanks all. It has come at a time when I feel less involved with CD so I haven't much to say... But I'll still pop in and keep an eye on you all. Two more weeks til NYC so am on step5 now, which is basically just calorie counting.

This gives me the freedom to make bad choices, and that's really so important. And my choices haven't been perfect (though they haven't been bad - and I've not gone over the 1500, though I did start this step a few days early to enable that) but I need to be able to indulge myself sensibly, from time to time. Finding a way to fit in a fairy cake and still stay within a day of sensible eating.

So far that seems to be a combination of being super wary, weighing up the least bad option, and noticing how certain foods make me feel. Yesterday I walked about a mile and a half to the supermarket and back, and I'd meant to take a CD bar with me, but forgot. Decided to substitute it for blueberries, but couldn't find any, and couldn't find anything healthy that appealed in the same way... So I chose a toffee apple. Around the same cals as a bar, obv high in sugar, but far better than lots of other things. And I was mindful the rest of the day, missed dessert (oh yes, such is the suggested structure of step 5) and noticed that it stimulated my appetite in a really unhelpful way.

Because life doesn't all fit in with my food plans. Mon-Friday are fine, and most weekends are controlled, but some things require my judgement and adjustment. Thinking on the go. Allowing pleasure and empty calories, but in a limited, non bingey way. I'm feeling really confident in my ability to stay binge free, at the moment. Because all those months of abstaining may not teach you anything about nutrition, or portion control, or making healthy choices... But they do force you to break all the habits and compulsions and self-medication that food can engender.

I've coped with stress and grief and celebration repeatedly in the last eight months, and I've had to do so without food (or booze). And I've coped better. My outcomes have been better. I feel very positive.
Click to expand...

That seriously made me tear up. So glad that you're finding your feet almost back in the real world so successfully.x
 
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