Evening all xx
Well, now I'm here I'm not sure what to write! NOT todays food, that's for sure!
Think I need to begin by telling you about Dad, then I hope I'll be able to move on a little...at least on here.
I had a phone call from Leslie (one of the hospice nurses) on Saturday morning, to say that she thought Dads breathing had changed & thought we might like to come in. So I rang my brother David, & went to pick Shirley up. When we arrived, Dads breathing had altered slightly from laboured to more shallow, but nothing too drastic, & we settled down to be with him. The staff were wonderful, popping in to check we were ok, and offering drinks etc. The doctor came to see us, saying what a lovely man Dad was and how sorry he was to see how much he had deteriorated.
A little later Vicki & her fiancé arrived, and Shirley & I left them alone to chat to Dad for a while while we got a sandwich. Shortly after, my brother David & his wife Kerri came in, & Vicki & Matt set off for the shops as they were catering again for Matt's cricket team the following day.
So we sat in the lovely little room, chatting amongst ourselves and to Dad, and taking it in turns to hold his hand. Soon it was nearly 5 o'clock, and Shirley sent David and I home to watch our local rugby team in the Heineken Cup Final (which we lost) & I shot straight back at 7 when it finished.
It was obvious that Dad had worsened in those to hours. The nurses had noticed his ear was tucked under him so had gently moved his head slightly and placed a rolled up face flannel with a towel and pillowcase over the top to try and make him more comfortable. But Dad had shown signs of distress at being moved, and his breathing had deteriorated, although the nurses said they were confident it would settle back down again.
But it didn't settle down, and the pauses between Dads breaths got longer, and around 8pm I text David to tell him to hurry. Shirley & I were holding Dads hands, crying & willing him to keep trying, when David walked through the door. A minute later, my lovely, brave Dad gave up his fight and slipped away peacefully with his wife and children holding him.
The next couple of hours are a bit of a blur tbh. We had to let Gwyn and the children know, & Vicki, Matt & Andrew came up. We simply sat with Dad, recalling tales, laughing & crying together, still taking it in turns to hold Dads hand.
I suppose we came away around 10.30pm, very, very sad, upset, drained & empty...but relieved that Dad's suffering was over.
The following morning, I picked Shirley up to go and fetch Dads things from the hospice, and to collect the death certificate. Once again they were superb, saying what a gentleman Dad was, & how it had been an honour to look after him.
We called into Gwyn's church afterwards as I knew the service had just finished and they would be having coffee. Everyone was really lovely, lots of hugs and prayers, which led to lots of tears.
We are doing fairly well with the arrangements, and Dads funeral will be on June 7th 2.45pm, followed by afternoon tea at our village pub (also where my sw classes are held). We met the minister yesterday who seemed really sweet, and have finally decided on music and a hymn. It's so hard, and we are so desperate to do Dad justice. The notification went in the local paper tonight, but I've been putting off writing our own personal obituary. I know it has to be done, but I'm dreading doing it.
Popped in to work today to say thanks for the gorgeous flowers and card they sent, and was greeted with more hugs. I made a NON sw 3 tier strawberry & fresh cream sponge cake which went down rather well...and yes I DID have some.
Food consumed after I got home included potatoes with loads of garlic butter and cheese, more home made cake, and wine...so I can't see the point of counting syns etc...will give it a go tomorrow, maybe!
Shirley's son and daughter in law have travelled from Wales today to spend a couple of days here, so they are all popping round tomorrow afternoon which will be nice. And it will force me into doing some housework which is desperately needed atm.
Right, I'm off for a looky looky at some diaries. Feeling better now that's brought things up to date.
Thanks for all your lovely messages...they've helped me so much xx
