Dinkie Dawnies Dubious Diary of Downsizing, Deflation, and Debauchery

[skinnydawn]

Hi girls...I'm late again

It's been quite a busy day...finally hit Nettos after putting it off for days cos I HATE food shopping But it was either go shopping or starve...& I like my food too much to do the latter! :17729:

Spent the afternoon looking at cars on the internet with Andrew & have come up with 4 or 5 to have a look at tomorrow. :fingerscrossed: one of them is ok for him.

Went to see Dad early today but he was very sleepy again. We did have a few little chats between naps bless him. It was very sad watching him being fed little pieces of a sandwich, and still struggling with that. He's not eating enough to keep a mouse alive. :sigh: I think the doctors may have told Shirley how long...but I don't want to know :cry:

Tonight Andrew & I met up with Daniel at the police dog training ground for a run. It's an area owned by the police with a cricket & football pitch, & isn't too busy. So I did my c25k while Dan lapped me twice & Andy decided he'd had enough after 10 mins & sat in the car playing his music :8855: I was quite pleased with my attempts tonight, but the 2nd 3min run was a bit too much for me so I cut it short by a min

Todays Food

28g fruit & fibre (B)
125ml ss milk (1/2 A)

2 x ryvita (3)
butter (2)
100g pineapple cottage cheese (1)
8 crab sticks
spring onions
cherry toms
cheesecake yoghurt (1)

beef
jacket spud
butter (2)
cheese sauce (1)
cauliflower
carrots
21g mozzarella (1/2 A)

options hot choc (2)

Total syns:- 12
Exercise:- c25k wk3 run1

 

[skinnydawn]

Awful day.

Got stuck in Leicester looking for cars & didn't get home till 7pm so didn't get to see Dad, didn't even get a bloody car either.

Shirley text saying she needed to see me so she popped round tonight. Dad can't eat, drink, or take meds today, & didn't recognise Shirley. He's slipping away. Had to ring the hospice tonight with our preferences as to whether we want phoning in the middle of the night should the worst happen... I'm due to work tomorrow, & the doctors have said it should be safe for me to go in and will ring if there's any change. Can't believe we have reached this point.

Just gonna post my food, maybe look at some diaries. Really can't write on mine any more tonight.

Todays Food

28g fruit & fibre (B)
350mls s milk (A)

1 x ryvita (1 1/2)
butter (1)
cottage cheese (1/2)

salmon fillet
salad
salad cream (2)
mayo (2)

G&T (3)

Total syns:- 10
Exercise:- none

 

[CAPRICORN]

Ohhhhh Big fat squishy hugs lovely lady....

There are no words to say how sorry I am that you are reaching this point -but can I say that next time you get to see dad that you let go and tell him all those things you have been holding onto. He obviously knows just how much he is loved, but you really want to say it out loud now -as much for your benefit as his "no need for that stiff upper lip"
Im not going to waffle on my love as it all seems so trivial right now -so you get yourself fed and tucked up in bed and try and get some rest -even if you can't sleep...
Take care and "gentle calm thoughts to you all and especially your lovely dad"-

 

[gl12282]

Dawn,

You are such an amazing lady with a fantastic family. You can only do what you can do and your Dad will appreciate so much having you around. He is in the right place and they will look after him and keep him as comfortable as possible.

Big hugs from me. thinking of you.

Gail x

Sent from my iPhone

 

[TwinkleToes2day]

So so sorry to hear that you have almost reached that time. I can only echo what Capricorn has said and advise you to say out loud what is in your heart the next time you see your dad. Love & hugs & prayers be with you all x

 

[Monkey_Monkey_Underpants]

Right. That's it.

No hugs from me.
No nice words.
I know that, at these times, sometimes people being nice to you is just too hard to take.
So I'm starting the "briskness" ball rolling!
(It's not that I don't care, you understand...)

So I'm going to try a healthy dose of
"Pull yourself together"
"Where's my tea?"
"Come on. Out for a brisk run".

Does that help?
Any better?

xx

 

[TwinkleToes2day]

Right. That's it.

No hugs from me.
No nice words.
I know that, at these times, sometimes people being nice to you is just too hard to take.
So I'm starting the "briskness" ball rolling!
(It's not that I don't care, you understand...)

So I'm going to try a healthy dose of
"Pull yourself together"
"Where's my tea?"
"Come on. Out for a brisk run".

Does that help?
Any better?

xx

Yeah, now I think about it :thinking2: I actually do know what you mean JoT It's weird isn't it; we show empathy & want a person to know how bad we feel for them but know that were it reversed, for me it's a fact, that I'd be, 'oh no please stop'. I avoid eye contact for instance, hoping they won't speak. So....

What's the weather like there Dawn?
Have you stayed on plan so far today?
My LO is nagging me :copon: to get off here and put the buses on, so better clear off for now, be back later for a lookey see :wavey:

xx

 

[Maverick]

Thinking of you Dawn, big hugs xxxx

 

[julesm]

I'm so sorry Dawn. Loads and loads and millions and billions of hugs. I am thinking of you xxxxxx

 

[skinnydawn]

Wot r u lot like! You make me laugh and cry in the same breath xx

With Dad now, just me and him, holding hands. Now and again he squeezes it, and even though he doesn't hav the strengh to talk, or open his eyes, he has smiled. He knows I'm here, and can hear me talking to him.
It hit me today. Keep bursting into tears, sorry bout that this morning JofT btw, and thanks so much for coming to see me, so thoughtful of you xx
Goin home in a min for a large glass of wine...hoping it will bring some sleep on. Nodded off around 2am then wide awake at 4am again. On mob now but may get laptop on later.
Missed wi obviously xx

Love to you all...and I really mean that xx

Sent from my HTC Wildfire using MiniMins

 

[pjallen1982]

Dawn,
You are an amazing woman. A real inspiration to others. I bet your Dad is so very proud of you. I'm thinking of you as you go through these very difficult and sad times.
Penny x

 

[Monkey_Monkey_Underpants]

Don't you DARE apologise, Dawn!
Think of yourself, for once. Your needs.

Oops - sorry if that counts as being nice. I promised I wouldn't do that, didn't I?
Does shouting at you in the sentence before make it ok?

xx

 

[skinnydawn]

Don't you DARE apologise, Dawn!
Think of yourself, for once. Your needs.

Oops - sorry if that counts as being nice. I promised I wouldn't do that, didn't I?
Does shouting at you in the sentence before make it ok?

xx

Shouting equals out the "niceness" hunni so you are forgiven! xx

 

[skinnydawn]

Had the chance to talk to Dad tonight, & told him I love him. Why it's taken me nearly 45 years to say it I will never know...probably back to the typical British stiff upper lip and not showing your feelings. Was a little cross with myself for crying while I was with him, but there was no stopping it. Keeps building up like a pressure valve and then just releases itself no matter what I'm doing or where I am. And all since today.

Gonna try and make it through work again tomorrow. It actually helped being there today & my bosses were great.

Might as well post my food while I'm here.

Lots of love xx

Todays Food

28g fruit and fibre (B)
175mls s milk (1/2 A)

salmon fillet
salad
salad cream (2)
yoghurt (1)

Jacket spud
bacon
mushrooms
butter (2)
21g mozzarella (1/2 A)
tom sauce (2)

G&T (3)

Total syns:- 10
Exercise:- none

 

[TwinkleToes2day]

Hey Dawn :wavey:

How lovely of JofT to some see you Hope she passed on our hugs to you :hug99:

And here's a gentle one for your dad :hug99: and one for Shirley :hug99:

Sleep well tonight hunni x

 

[Monkey_Monkey_Underpants]

How lovely of JofT to some see you Hope she passed on our hugs to you :hug99:

I wasn't allowed to. That would have counted as being nice!

But I promise I'll do it when Dawn's more able to take it - without soaking everyone within a 5-mile radius!

 

[skinnydawn]

I wasn't allowed to. That would have counted as being nice!

But I promise I'll do it when Dawn's more able to take it - without soaking everyone within a 5-mile radius!

You rotter... I'll get you for that!!! :8855:

 

[TwinkleToes2day]

I wasn't allowed to. That would have counted as being nice!

But I promise I'll do it when Dawn's more able to take it - without soaking everyone within a 5-mile radius!

You're on
Sorry Dawn :giggle:
x

 

[CAPRICORN]

Morning all

oooh Dawn your food looks nice today -apart from the fruit n fibre *yakkk*
Glad you got to chat to dad, I don't doubt for 1 minute that he has always known how much you all love him. Don't worry about the tears -it'll be all the water they make us drink on SW -it has to escape somewhere
Now then JIM I hope you are going to be all soppy n sympathetic when we are stuck half way up a mountain and I have blisters on my blisters :giggle:... *ooooh why do I feel that Im going to have my very own version of jillian Michaels screaming at me that *you will not quit* as I trundle along*
Anyway -just a quick one for now... have a good day Mrs and take care of yourself

 

[skinnydawn]

Hey Caps! Reckon you're gonna hav some fun with JoT on your trek!

Don't think she'll take any prisoners lol!

Work is very, very quiet Gonna work thru lunch and finish an hour early to go see dad.

Such a relief when we got to 08.30 this morning without a fone call from the hospice...they will ring us by 08.00 if anything happens overnight.

I'm glad to report the large G&T did the trick last night and I think I got around 5 hrs sleep so improving xx

Have a gd day xx

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