zenabob2105
Silver Member
Hmm. This is where I am with all this -
When we were told that our only 'significant' chance of being able to have a baby was through a type of IVF (ICSI for those who know what that means) we were keen to get started on the IVF route. My BMI at that point was about 32. Our reasons for IVF were three fold - 1) I have PCOS so have never had a regular cycle and have always suffered from several PCOS symptoms such as weight and excess hair. 2) My husband's sperm had poor motility (i.e they weren't good at swimming) and morphology (i.e they weren't the right shape) and 3) one of my tubes is blocked, therefore I only have 1 one working tube.
So, IVF looked like a ray of light in an otherwise cloudy atmosphere. At BMI 32 though they wouldn't even consider me for the NHS funded IVF. In my area you get ONE NHS IVF treatment. In other areas you get THREE. In some areas a BMI of 32 is accepted, in others, like mine, it isn't. It is a lottery of judgement.
Now some people may wonder what the point of going down a road often filled with heartache really achieves. After all IVF only has a roughly 25% success rate. If you know you only have 1 chance because you can't afford the £4500 for each other try then why put yourself through that? Well, for me and my husband, having children was always a part of life we desperately wanted. Many of you say it isn't a 'right' to have children - whilst I agree partly with this I do believe it is everyone's right to be able to try to have children if they desire it and IF they can be good parents to that child.
Not so long ago the amazing technologies used in fertility clinics nowadays didn't exist. Had we lived 50 years ago we would have simply been one of those couples who had to accept that children and grandchildren weren't on the horizon. However, we don't live in that time anymore. We live in a country where every day there are people who do know how to fix this problem, so shouldn't there be the opportunity for it to be fixed if it can be?
Now I accept that in the grand scheme of things, if, say, the government had to chose to spend £10, 000 on either new fertility treatment or new cancer treatment that the cancer treatment would be more appropriate. However, much money on the NHS is spent of not just saving lives but also on improving the quality of people's lives. For example eczema treatment, you may have eczema, it won't kill you, but if you have the right creams your life would be a lot happier. It's a similar principle with infertility. You don't NEED in a life threatening sense the fertility treatment, but if a child is something you have deeply desired and you know you can provide a loving environment for that child then your life will be improved by it.
So, we have the great technology in the this country to be able to improve people's lives by helping them conceive, not just IVF but there are several different types of fertility help, simple ones like drugs and obviously invasive ones like operations to try to fix internal damage, etc.
The problem here is that someone has decided to step forward and say that whilst the technology is there, not everyone who wants it deserves it. I can understand the medical reasons for over (or under) weight people being denied the treatment and I think that on paper that sounds fair.... However... it draws a thick black line and tells everyone over that line to go home. It doesn't allow for various factors. For example, we knew 2 of the 3 problems we were facing had nothing to do with my weight. I could be size 0 and my husband's sperm wouldn't be any better from it. I admit that my PCOS is intertwined with my weight and I do believe that controlling my weight is the key to controlling my PCOS. Was I offered any help to control my weight though? Was I explained the affects of PCOS or given any real help to deal with it? No, I was told 'just lose weight'.
So anyway, I did go home and I did lose weight and I got my BMI to 29.9 (!!!). The ironic conclusion to that story is that I then fell pregnant naturally.....!
However I do believe that each and every case should be judged on its own merits. The waiting list for IVF is VERY long, three years in some areas. Imagine how much weight you could lose in that time. They won't put you on the list at all though until they like your BMI.I agree that for most people, if they desire a child enough to go through significantly involved fertility treatment then they must care enough to get their bodies into the best shape they can. This applies to anyone planning on becoming parents in fact. I believe if a couple can show that they are preparing for the life long journey of being a parent, for example trying to lose weight, give up smoking, become financially secure etc etc, then they ought to be given a fair go. An obese lady could fall pregnant at her first attempt at IVF whilst a very slim lady might take 15 attempts (I know this as I know a lady who was perfectly healthy and thin and did take 15 attempts to get pg).
As for the cost of the pregnancy on the NHS... well a friend of mine recently had a baby, she was/is a very healthy weight. And she was low risk, it was her second. However she had a breech baby and needed several (8 I believe) scans and nearly ended up with a C-section but luckily at the eleventh hour the baby turned. So a perfectly healthy woman can end up costing the NHS loads on the birth anyway....
Emerald
X
much the way i feel, but you are much better at putting it across than me....
