Everyday's a SW day :) x

So...last night, i pretty much opened up and was honest to my OH about what i'd been doing with the calorie counting and how messed up my head had been about food and everything to do with weight loss for the last wee while.
i'd mentioned some stuff but not in depth and it all came out last night when he asked me why i was suddenly counting calories.

i'd told him that i didn't eat all my soup at lunchtime so i had updated the portion size and it saved me 30 calories...he was NOT amused!

he told me point blank, to "knock this sh1t on the head!"

he can't personally relate to everything we feel at times but he is not impressed at the guilt and grief i've put myself through and commented that i've mentioned all week i've been hungry and that's when i'm most likely to want something quick...and more than likely, want to grab something which isn't a decent choice.

he also said that last year, he noticed a huge change in me cos i was more relaxed about things, not thinking things through, losing weight and generally more positive and really, i was quite taken aback at his whole anger towards what i was saying.
he really is a keeper and i know we have our off times (who doesn't!) but he genuinely couldn't care what i was eating or if i'm losing/gaining weight...he just wants me to be happy and always has something to say when i'm having digs about myself.

he text me today when i was at work and told me to get the dahl loaf and rice pudding on the go for next week - my sw staples lol

i'm really missing a lot of my sw foods - could've made them this week and counted them but i didn't and maybe it's a good thing that i'm craving them?

i've had fruit and veg but no where near as much and already, i've noticed a difference when i'm going to the loo (sorry for the TMI)
not a fan of having difficulty - no thank you!

he "ordered" me lol, to get back to what i was doing, eat the things i was and don't even think about how many calories are in what i'm eating. he said i didn't do it before and lost 3 out of 4 weeks, took the gains in my stride and didn't feel the need for the off plan days cos i didn't feel like i was missing out and cos i was happier, and not thinking about it all, i wasn't crippled with all the unnecessary thoughts that i've got just now.

i know he's right....i just need that switch to change on it's own and i wish the thought of "how many could we be eating" had never even crossed my mind!

pro's for cc are def being able to eat different, easy to access foods...but the huge down sides for me are having to count fruit and veg or weigh it out, not snack on it to save calories...and of course, the hunger!

pro's for sw are being able to eat when i'm hungry (guilt free!!!!) being able to optimise meals and make, what would be bad choices (pizza, burgers, pasta bakes etc) healthier choices. cons are having to always be prepared, be tied to specific foods which are on the free list and of course, the potential to food abuse/eat loads of calories we shouldn't.

i was doing so well before....i want to be back in that place...and i WANT MY DAHL LOAF!! lol x
 
So...last night, i pretty much opened up and was honest to my OH about what i'd been doing with the calorie counting and how messed up my head had been about food and everything to do with weight loss for the last wee while. i'd mentioned some stuff but not in depth and it all came out last night when he asked me why i was suddenly counting calories. i'd told him that i didn't eat all my soup at lunchtime so i had updated the portion size and it saved me 30 calories...he was NOT amused! he told me point blank, to "knock this sh1t on the head!" he can't personally relate to everything we feel at times but he is not impressed at the guilt and grief i've put myself through and commented that i've mentioned all week i've been hungry and that's when i'm most likely to want something quick...and more than likely, want to grab something which isn't a decent choice. he also said that last year, he noticed a huge change in me cos i was more relaxed about things, not thinking things through, losing weight and generally more positive and really, i was quite taken aback at his whole anger towards what i was saying. he really is a keeper and i know we have our off times (who doesn't!) but he genuinely couldn't care what i was eating or if i'm losing/gaining weight...he just wants me to be happy and always has something to say when i'm having digs about myself. he text me today when i was at work and told me to get the dahl loaf and rice pudding on the go for next week - my sw staples lol i'm really missing a lot of my sw foods - could've made them this week and counted them but i didn't and maybe it's a good thing that i'm craving them? i've had fruit and veg but no where near as much and already, i've noticed a difference when i'm going to the loo (sorry for the TMI) not a fan of having difficulty - no thank you! he "ordered" me lol, to get back to what i was doing, eat the things i was and don't even think about how many calories are in what i'm eating. he said i didn't do it before and lost 3 out of 4 weeks, took the gains in my stride and didn't feel the need for the off plan days cos i didn't feel like i was missing out and cos i was happier, and not thinking about it all, i wasn't crippled with all the unnecessary thoughts that i've got just now. i know he's right....i just need that switch to change on it's own and i wish the thought of "how many could we be eating" had never even crossed my mind! pro's for cc are def being able to eat different, easy to access foods...but the huge down sides for me are having to count fruit and veg or weigh it out, not snack on it to save calories...and of course, the hunger! pro's for sw are being able to eat when i'm hungry (guilt free!!!!) being able to optimise meals and make, what would be bad choices (pizza, burgers, pasta bakes etc) healthier choices. cons are having to always be prepared, be tied to specific foods which are on the free list and of course, the potential to food abuse/eat loads of calories we shouldn't. i was doing so well before....i want to be back in that place...and i WANT MY DAHL LOAF!! lol x

I think you must be exhausted if this is running through your mind all the time!

I would like to point out though....yep the potential to food abuse is there but you NEVER did that! You didn't make chickpea nuts or lasagne crisps or binge on free foods. You followed the plan and it worked. Yes you had your monthly gain but I think that it's fair to say that's a woman problem as it was like clockwork for you. I'm not sure what made your mind wander down this road in the first place because all the cons you've listed we're never an issue for you- you didn't food abuse, you seemed to quite enjoy being prepared and organised and every diet has restrictions so there are certain foods you steer clear of BUT you could always syn those foods on SW.
I'm certainly not trying to tempt you back to SW- only you can decide that- but your concerns seem to be common SW problems rather than your personal SW problems. Your worry about going crazy when letting yourself have a day off is natural- I think we all do it but you were inspirational in that you were always so good at getting back on it.
I hope you feel better soon and can get settled again chick! Xx
 
I think you must be exhausted if this is running through your mind all the time!

I would like to point out though....yep the potential to food abuse is there but you NEVER did that! You didn't make chickpea nuts or lasagne crisps or binge on free foods. You followed the plan and it worked. Yes you had your monthly gain but I think that it's fair to say that's a woman problem as it was like clockwork for you. I'm not sure what made your mind wander down this road in the first place because all the cons you've listed we're never an issue for you- you didn't food abuse, you seemed to quite enjoy being prepared and organised and every diet has restrictions so there are certain foods you steer clear of BUT you could always syn those foods on SW.
I'm certainly not trying to tempt you back to SW- only you can decide that- but your concerns seem to be common SW problems rather than your personal SW problems. Your worry about going crazy when letting yourself have a day off is natural- I think we all do it but you were inspirational in that you were always so good at getting back on it.
I hope you feel better soon and can get settled again chick! Xx

it's all doing my head in! me....i'm bugging myself! lol

i knew last week when i decided to try and cc that i wasn't sure how long i'd do it for...but felt i just needed to do something so i wanted to try. i knew i would either think yipee...or not but didn't ever consider calorie counting a whole load of junk food!
but even just doing it this week has made me miss the sw foods and my cooking - in the same way i do if i'm away for the weekend etc, but obviously i've not had days of awful foods. i've been starving but having trouble at the loo (which i usually only get if i've been off plan and expect that) is putting me off big time!

hate having to count or weigh out fruit and veg.

on sw, i usually use 2 or 3 small yog a day in different stuff (rice pudding, magic porridge, fruit salad etc) this week i've not even used 1 big tub of the asda stuff....and when i was starving this morning before work i wanted to lift a handful of grapes but thought na, i better not!

BOOOOO! to that i say! but really...weighing out 20g of frozen raspberries and lettuce for a wrap i had today at lunch - wtf!!!

you're right though, i never kicked the ar$e out of the free foods...i wouldn't sit at night and say aww, i'm out of syns, stuff it, i'll eat a packet of pasta and sauce - cos i'm "allowed"....so what am i worrying about! bloody trumpet that i am!!! lol x
 
This is exactly why CC didn't work for me! I hated having to think about every little thing and always having the diet in my mind. With SW I know I can eat and fruit or veg freely, but having to cc that kinda stuff is so time consuming and put me off eating as much, to the point I was having 700-800 cals a day! Obviously I took it too extreme, i find thats what happens when i cc though as im so concious of everything im eating that i just cut back on it. Ultimately for me despite hardly eating anything my losses slowed right down to half a pound a week and it took 3 weeks of 'normal' eating to get my metabolism back up to scratch for a decent loss again.
I dunno about you but I dont want to ne thinking about my diet constantly and overthinking things, but thats what i was like with cc. Sounds like you might be finding the same. Not to tempt you but SW and your dahl loaf are waiting for you! ;) xx
 
This is exactly why CC didn't work for me! I hated having to think about every little thing and always having the diet in my mind. With SW I know I can eat and fruit or veg freely, but having to cc that kinda stuff is so time consuming and put me off eating as much, to the point I was having 700-800 cals a day! Obviously I took it too extreme, i find thats what happens when i cc though as im so concious of everything im eating that i just cut back on it. Ultimately for me despite hardly eating anything my losses slowed right down to half a pound a week and it took 3 weeks of 'normal' eating to get my metabolism back up to scratch for a decent loss again.
I dunno about you but I dont want to ne thinking about my diet constantly and overthinking things, but thats what i was like with cc. Sounds like you might be finding the same. Not to tempt you but SW and your dahl loaf are waiting for you! ;) xx

oh the temptation's been there since i first weighed out fruit and veg! lol

i think over the weekend, i'm going to look through all of my sw stuff and dig out my food menus which i have from last january (cos i write my food down daily too) and look back at things from the beginning.
for months i did 1 day green, 1 day EE so maybe i should go back to that?

like Amy said, it's not like i was going OTT with free foods/food abuse....i dunno if i was worrying about the possibility? and that's silly!

i didn't feel as in control with SW - especially at weekends and i think i just wanted to grab control of something but that along with some other stuff was just too much for my head to handle! i guess i knew that switching would either work well, or make me miss what had become the norm....and thankfully it's been the latter!

dunno what i'm following today...but i'm eating fruit and veg....and a handful of grapes...whether i count it or not!! lol

i suppose it's good that it's had this affect on me (might be effect....never know the difference!!) and it just shows you that sw ways seem normal...and i might be in control with cc but it's def out with my comfort zone and as you say...a bit to the extreme with being so time consuming!

people crave mcdonalds and mars bars....this week i'm def not in their gang....in fact, the total opposite!
guess it's a bonus eh...and maybe attempting to change for a while has been just what i needed to make me realise the grass isn't always greener!!!

thank you all again for the support xxx
 
I don't say this much but that man is right!!!! Hehe

There's enough going on in life without stressing about food. What I didn't like about cc was that I had to weigh mushrooms and things grrrr lol

Do what you think is best... but please don't stress or feel guilty :) xx

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yep...he's right chick....you all are - even i know what's right...i just had a wobble!

so far today i've had a smoothie (an apple, a banana and a ww yog with ice cubes blitz together)
some 1/2 syn roulade - yes i caved (made it and spread raspberry yog on it then sprinkled broken frozen raspberries on it before rolling :drool: )
and an alpen light bar

have a serious craving for fruit and fibre cereal....but i always think it's so expensive and would i really use it if i go back on plan cos the HEb allowance wouldn't weigh out to very much :(

for winging it today...i'm doing ok pmsl! x
 
Hey hun, I wish I had proper internet rather than being on my phone as I can totally relate to how you've been feeling. That was me just before xmas and I didn't know if I was coming or going or what to believe about food anymore.

All I will say is that if food has become an obsession because you are either planning it, eating it, prepping it, counting it or shopping for it, then it's too much and something will need to give xx
 
Hey hun, I wish I had proper internet rather than being on my phone as I can totally relate to how you've been feeling. That was me just before xmas and I didn't know if I was coming or going or what to believe about food anymore.

All I will say is that if food has become an obsession because you are either planning it, eating it, prepping it, counting it or shopping for it, then it's too much and something will need to give xx

Hey you! :D

oh it's definitely an obsession alright! lol
but i've spent some time reading over my sw books again and dug out all my old food diarys from when i first started and i'm gonna try and just get back to following the plan...properly...and not think about calories cos when i did it like that before, i was fine....it's this fleeting thought of calories that got me to where i am and that's just with a messy head!

gonna enjoy my weekend and really try to just get back to where i was!

nice to see you back...hope you're doing ok xx
 
just posting quickly before i go to bed....

i've spent the weekend re-reading my sw books and looking at other threads on here (usually just scroll thru the ones i've subscribed to) and the good news is....i'm ditching the calorie counting and getting back on plan!

it's been refreshing reading through it all again and i want to get back to how i was...and trust the plan (again)
dunno why i doubted it...i know it makes sense and is healthy - so no more weighing out fekin lettuce....or hunger...and i'm really hoping that those pesky calories don't even start to play devil/angel in my head cos until recently...they hadn't at all!!

i've eaten rubbish all weekend, had indian tonight and i'm swithering whether to weigh myself in the morning, and take that as my starting weight - total restart and maybe even go back to weighing every week for the next wee while?

i know i'll have done some damage but if i manage to get weighed in the morning, i'm gonna throw away all the other weight "receipts", cross out my section of go it alone weigh ins and take this as the start?

got a birthday meal out next week and i've been looking forward to it for weeks (already know what i'm having and it's not calorie/sw friendly lol) but my plan is that i flexi syn for that time....but NOT take it as the go ahead to be off it all weekend!

i've got a few things to do in the morning but as soon as i'm home, i'm cooking lots of sw snacky stuff...the usual staples and the stuff i've been craving and gonna give the speed soup a bash too...

so...calorie counting didn't last as long as i thought it would...but i always knew it might not be a permanent thing...i just really hope that i can get back to that place i was in a few months ago cos it involved much better thoughts - well, it involved no thoughts really other than what was on the menu!
no guilt, no pressure on myself...i just stuck to plan...and that's what i'm hoping for again!

so that's my plan of action! feeling positive (and super bloated from naan bread, chunky kit kat and mccoys!!!) so fingers crossed i can get back into it without worrying too much about other silly stuff!!

hope everyone's ok and had a nice weekend.

thank you again for all the words of wisdom during my unstable time lol xxx
 
Good luck gorgeous! Having been on here over a year now I think I've realised that most ppl go through a wobble or want to try something different for a while...if it doesn't work you either drop off the wagon or you get back on sw...of course the better option is sw so go you for drawing the line, immersing yourself back in the basics and cracking on with it! You've done so so well already, you've got such will power in you (as proven by progress last year!) and now your head is back in the sw game....WOOP! :) xx
 
Woop you sound really motivated and back on track :)
Who wants to weigh lettuce!!!! Hehe they made me weigh iit In subway once because I was putting too much on the sandwich... grrr lol

Have a great day :) x

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Good luck gorgeous! Having been on here over a year now I think I've realised that most ppl go through a wobble or want to try something different for a while...if it doesn't work you either drop off the wagon or you get back on sw...of course the better option is sw so go you for drawing the line, immersing yourself back in the basics and cracking on with it! You've done so so well already, you've got such will power in you (as proven by progress last year!) and now your head is back in the sw game....WOOP! :) xx

Woop you sound really motivated and back on track :)
Who wants to weigh lettuce!!!! Hehe they made me weigh iit In subway once because I was putting too much on the sandwich... grrr lol

Have a great day :) x

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i'm feeling good girlies :D

braved the scales and although it wasn't great, it wasn't as bad as i thought it might be and although i know all the sh1te i ate at the weekend has probably still to go on...i'm hoping a good week will sort that out....and i've already thought that if i weigh next week, and have a STS, then it'll mean that i've sorted any gain i might've had from that rather than look at it that my 1st week has meant no loss - does that make sense?

oh...i bought a dress the other week there and have been trying to take it back for a bigger size cos it feels a bit tight across the chest - not cos i have big knockers right enuf lol but i've decided that seeing as i want it for my holiday in june...i'm NOT going to keep trying to get the bigger size (which will be too big everywhere anyway!) it's going to be comfy by the time i need to wear it....right???

speed soup is on, dahl loaf is in the oven and rice for fruity rice breakfasts is cooking away too.

i'm gonna start with a green day today i think - to ease me back in gently, give me 2 HEb's which always seems like loads to eat if i'm clever with them and really thinking about going right back to basics where i did 1 day green, 1 day EE.
it doesn't always suit for work but have planned chicken stroganoff for dinner tomorrow - saw the recipe yesterday on pete's recipe page so giving it a bash with natural yog instead of the FF it asked for.

had a boiled egg before i left the house and a tangerine when i was going round tesco....gonna have some magic porridge with grated apple and fruit shortly - great start...long may it continue eh ;)

hope everyone has a great day xxx
 
well...day 1 almost over :D
gonna post my eats now then head for a shower i think...oooh maybe a soak in the bath?? hmmm....

DAY - GREEN

Breakfast:
boiled egg and a tangerine 1st thing
magic porridge (1/2 HEb) with grated apple, blueberries, frozen raspberries and a wee bit chopped banana

Lunch:
sweet potato and parsnip rosti, a few mouthfuls of speed soup (it's not great! lol) and an alpen light

Dinner:
mac and cheese (with onion and extra tomato) and salad

got fruit salad and yog there to have but still too full from dinner!

HEb's:
17.5g oats/alpen light
hifi light and....

HEa's:
30g cheese

Syns:
crisps - 5.5
malteser bunny - 3

8.5 for the day :D :D :D

feeling a wee bit more in control today which is great! i cooked for most of the day and did my friend's hair so lunch wasn't what i'd planned...but the main thing is, it was on plan and the day has had lots of fruit and veg!
feeling full from dinner which is good, and right now, i dunno that i'll end up having my goodies...but that's what i've pencilled in to have when we settle down later

i also logged out of MFP on my phone meaning no easy access! ;)

hope everyone's having a great monday xxx
 

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Welcome back to the plan hehe
Food is looking fab u got many bowls of the soup left?? There's nothing worse when soup doesn't taste right hehe x

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other than the few mouthfuls i had yesterday...there's still a full pot! lol
not sure i'm gonna end up using it which is a waste...but if i force myself to have it just to save waste, i'll end up resenting the speed foods! haha.

at least the attempt was there eh ;) xx
 
Hehe I understand I've done it many times :) iis it the one with pickles in? X

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yep...that's it!
but i dunno what i've done...or missed out...i've made it before but it just doesn't taste right - mega bland. maybe it's the cheap tins of tomatoes i used?

anyway...i had a couple of spoonfuls as i made dinner...for superfree ya know ;) x
 
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