First (and only!) Cambridge Journey

And look what I've just had to power through - cakes and coffee from the food tech teacher who is leaving! There will be more tomorrow...!
 

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And yes you can see clotted cream, jam and scones... Avoid eye contact!!!
 
SCHOOOOOOOOOLS OUT FOR SUMMER! :party0011::party0011::party0011:

Its a little bit of a bittersweet day for me today as I am extremely looking forward to having time off and being able to relax however my contract was only temporary for a year and it has not been renewed so at the momentb as of September I will not have a job. I do have lots of things in the pipeline though so hopefully I'll find my way, ideally i'd like now to move back into sixth form which is where I trained initially but would have really welcomed a permanent contract as I have never had one since I qualified 3 years ago!

So today and tonight is a huge mixture of emotions, sad to be leaving, happy to have time off, excited for the future, worried about the future etc! I am very emotionally drained from the goodbyes! I still have to go in a few times over the summer to tie up loose ends and see the Year 11s get their GCSE results so it's not quite 'over' yet but feels pretty final.

Dietwise it was not particularly tough, far too many emotions going on to concern myself with food although a girl gave me a brownie that her mum made and I had one tiny nibble to compliment her then as soon as she left the room I boxed it up for my husband :secret:! That again was quite easily actually, as was resisting the party food I had brought for my form.

Tried a banoffee shake tonight, nice actually! Looking forward to trying mango, thought it was about time I deviated from cappucino, lemon bars and rich toffee bars!!
 
No it was a mix of banana and toffee shakes, not bad really.

Eurgh its not going well at the moment, far too many cheats slipping in this week, got on track then hubby commented on how he misses eating with me and was I going to go back on weight watchers. After he brought this up a third time on Sunday it was my green light and I went mad, fish and chips, ice cream and a huge bag of sports mixture. Plus crisps later in the evening. Got back on track yesterday, managed ok all day today then had cheese, slice of toast and two packets of skips.

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A line has been drawn, Sunday and Monday next week will be off plan but aiming for 100% SS+ until then and from then. I'm going to stock up on cooked chicken pieces tomorrow and salad so its all on hand. I've been on plan for 9 weeks now, lost 17lbs but no major differences yet, looser clothes but not noticeable enough for compliments yet. Gotta kick my backside into gear NOW. So annoyed with myself must stop messing around!!
 
Hey D,
Thought I would check in to see how you are getting on? I am 100% in the same boat as you, I have been really struggling and I just keep picking at stuff, it is driving me crazy!!
I don't think I have been too bad, I am generally careful about what I pick at but I am an absolute sucker for crisps, I had a friend over last week who brought two big bags of kettle chips, my absolute favourite, needless to say I had more than a handful and then she left them at my house and between me and my other they were gone in a few days! So last weeks weigh in wasn't fab!

I have had a better week but still not 100%. Weigh in tonight will tell whether or not I was bad enough, I am secretly hoping I will still get a fair loss as I know I haven't been that bad! That's the difficult thing about this diet, there is no room for slip ups and if you do it shows! I just look back on my weight watchers days and remember my fortnightly take away and the snacking and still losing weight. I just have to step back and remind myself that I never made it into the 9s on that diet so just keep going! I think I have a daily reminisce about what I could be eating on another diet, I don't know whether I should talk to my consultant about moving up the steps tonight, I feel like a bit of a failure though by not pushing until I get to goal.

I have also finally set myself a target, 8st7lb, so from last weeks weigh in I have 1st2lb to go which means I have a focus. I have no idea whether I can get to this weight as I have never got there before, nor have I ever imagined being that weight so I am thinking that is the absolute bottom weight I want to go!

Are you still getting on ok with your new CDC? How are you coping with the diet during the summer holidays? More importantly - have you got lots of plans for the holidays :) ?

Starting Weight: 11st 7lb. Week 1 WI: -7lb (11st). Week 2 WI: -3lb (10st 11lb). Week 3 WI: -5lb (10st 6lb). Week 4 WI: -3lb (10st 3lb). Week 5 WI: -2lb (10st 1lb). Week 6 WI: -1.5lb (9st13.5lb). Week 7 WI: -2.5lb (9st 11). Week 8 WI: STS. Week 9 WI: -2lb (9st9lb).
 
So you can guess from my absence that I have been very much off the wagon! I have reasons but not good ones, I could've powered through on the plan if I wanted but I chose not to. The reasons being - my CDC going away for 2 weeks gave me a mental green light to keep cheating, no weekly weigh-in to worry about! Then there was York last Sunday-there was no point getting back on track leading up to that either (so I thought!), then when I came home on Monday I had my birthday as my next excuse to not go back on plan until Thursday. Friday was set aside to finish my birthday chocolates and today would be day 1....2 shakes down and plenty of water by 4pm, going well until my son came home from a trip out with his dad with doughnuts, I ate one then a large handful of giant buttons. I then decided today is written off, tonight would be my last cheat night and that tea tonight will be Dominoes with Pimms and kettle crisps(my fave too!), although I have gone back on that plan as doughnut and choc has made me feel ill so less inclined now to have anything else today other than a shake so hopefully a step in the right direction.

More and more lately I wonder if this is the right diet for me, I wanted quick results but I aren't getting anywhere fast because I don't seem to find the will/want -power to stick with it. I have a stack of products so I am not giving up yet and I will see my CWPC on Tuesday to see what the damage is. Perhaps I will feel more motivated once I have the weekly weigh-ins to focus on. My husband is working away til Friday so I will have less temptation and opportunity to cheat which will hopefully get me bacck in the zone.

The worst thing is I feel awful once I've eaten, I used to overeat and snack to the point of feeling sick but that point comes a lot sooner now and hangs over me a lot longer. If I eat rubbish on an evening I still feel it the next day, part of me has wanted to get back on the shakes to stop feeling that way.

I worry myself now because the people who are most successful don't seem to do what I am doing now. I can only take things as they come right now but I desperately hope I can get back into the first four weeks determination that I had.
 
Hey hun,

We can do it, little steps. So the last 6 weeks you'll prob have seen I've been on and off like a bloody yo-yo BUT each time I have managed longer on plan - last week I managed 5 days where a few weeks back I didn't manage more than 2. It's not ideal but at least I'm maintaining rather than gaining, I'm aiming for a week this time, then hopefully by then I can just keep going.
 
Yes Ria I have seen your struggle and sympathise, I have been slim before and always struggle the smaller I get, it just becomes less important. The thing with this is that a week off is so extreme in comparison to a week off weight watchers, Ive put on about 7lbs in just over a week which is quick on for me but I guess you have to take the big lossess on this with the big gains! have totally caved tonight - 'one last dominoes', an ice cream off an ice cream van and sat drinking 'my last couple of' pimms. Its gonna be hard seeing the half full bottle for the rest of the summer without cracking it open :( It's sods law that the best summer we've had in years is the one where we have chosen to do cambridge! I keep thinking about evening meals out in beer gardens, it can happen on SS+ I guess but not the same!

Slightly O/T but just seen the woman over the road getting into a mans car, I'm sorry but she's in her forties with a daughter at Uni but she is a bit of a....she's not cheap and nasty by any means, she looks good but I'm convinced she was sleeping with a married man for months as his works van was only ever there on Fridays and was always gone in the early hours as if his wife maybe went out on a Friday night. It was there last week yet yesterday and today she's in and out of a different car with a different man, looked dolled up for a meal. Makes me jealous as she is petite and slim, runs to keep it off I presume and is out right now being wined and dined but still being slim while I am married, in my PJs, pigged out on pizza and drinking by myself :sigh: But then again it will be tougher when my husband comes home next weekend.

I forgot to update about my night away with the girls, I felt amazing, not slim but I felt pretty in a new dress and felt it flattered me. I had my lash extensions re-done and had shellac nails done on hands and feet which is a first. I am really pleased that I do not feel I stand out on the pics as the 'fat friend'!

Photos attached, I have the blue 50's style dress on and pink cardigan.
 

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You look fab hun.... Maybe that's the problem if you know what I mean? We're both at a decent size, a quite acceptable size, but if you're anything like me I still have a lot of fat knocking around - ive always carried it well and Noone believes I was the weight I used to be, in the same way I get a lecture these days anytime someone sees me with a shake in hand! Great I can wear a size 10 top but I still have a big old belly (which you prob saw my lovely pic of on my diary) but short of lifting my top grabbing it and showing them, they don't believe me.

In the early days once the lectures about the "extreme diet" stopped, people were encouraging and supportive to stop me caving into food, these days they are pleased to see me eating if I do and make a point I saying so, apart from here there is no support, noone watching me anymore - doesn't help at all. Grr,

What's your current weight/goal?
 
Thanks Ria, they are particularly flattering pics though as my awful arms are covered by a cardigan (never wore one out before but it worked for the day to night thing!) and fit and flare dresses cover my hips! In terms of 'looking your weight', after being a WW leader one thing I have learned is that it is incredibly difficult to guess weight by sight. My mum asked me two weeks ago if my diet was working- I was 19lbs lighter and she couldn't tell! One thing I reassure myself with is that I go to great lengths to hide weight gain so its not such a bad thing if people don't notice the first few stones!

So today is day 1, 100%. Wether that is SS or SS+ I don't know but there is no doubt now that I am finished with my time off. I think stating it as fact is helping cement it in my brain! Yes I could curse it but I think my 'lasts' last night really have satisfied my cravings which I gotta admit I didn't think they'd do anything but continue to remind me how good the food tastes!

One shake down after a lazy morning in bed and gotta get started on my water. When I had my girls night away I never needed the loo as much as my friends did, I think this is due to cambridge training my bladder haha!

Today I will be listing clothes on eBay and then a nice pamper later this afternoon as well as watching some Dual Dynamics(haven't watched these yet) and other cambridge inspirational vids as well as checking in here and some catch up TV! Lazy PJ day :-D
 
I know what you mean about horrible arms, I fear one day i might move my arm too quickly and the bingo wing might attack some unsuspecting soul lol.

Good idea on the dual dynamics, that's what got me focused last week, perhaps i should prescribe a video every other day to keep me on track this time!
 
Oh Ria its hard to imagine that your tiny size has any bingo wing at all!! If I don't have a full-time job lined up when my son goes back to school I am going to do something about the wobble, perhaps one of these bootcamp things or personal trainers I have seen so much about on my facebook. At the moment the last thing I want is any bloke seeing me wobble and sweat, I am an embarassed exerciser! My son's school is right near a ladies gym so I may just go there every morning after dropping him off. Although I am planning to do some supply work and work on my business network and start up some marketing consultancy to keep me busy, I will have the pleasure of at least choosing my own working hours and I do like to gym on a morning but never do when I am working :) I am looking forward to this aspect very much but I would still love a job where I know I have a determined salary each month and some security, but I fully intend to make the most of being self-employed!

2 litres of water down and 2 shakes gone, old faithful cappacino for breakfast and tried chocolate for lunch. I dont mind the chocolate but I have not found anything else I can have as a 'goto' flavour other than my cappacino. I have mango shakes to try as someone said they were a little like a solero which I love but I just do not fancy them at the moment.

I have listed some things on eBay but didn't realise I have a limit of ten items and I have to wait a few days for a letter with a code so I can raise this limit, super annoying as I hadn't listed the things that are likely to make the most cash and have now got to wait. At least it drags out the thrill of the sale!
 
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