My little rant
I posted this in my diary and on my thread in the 100% forum, it's how I am feeling at the moment and a whistlestop tour of the insanity that is my brain.... maybe it will explain my poor progress these last few months
I think this diet is not so hard, it's our heads that ruin it.
I think I might have found one of the reasons behind my self sabotage, it's the fact that a part of me consciously and subconsciously believes that the diet wont work for me.
not that I am special or like it's personal but after years and years of being told to exercise and eat vegetables, the idea of losing weight just by "eating" 3 packs a day seems too simple and too easy.
It’s so hard to get your head into the CD frame of mind, often I feel like Cambridge diet is cheating, it’s not weightwatchers, it’s not the biggest loser, how can I have long term weight loss and DESERVE it if I don’t lose it through exercise?
I wish I did not have this voice in my head and I wish even more that I didn't have my mum's real life voice reiterating it, making me feel like just sticking to the diet ISN'T ENOUGH, that I should be out there running marathons and building schools for African children and without doing that I wont lose weight or I wont lose as much weight as I could. It’s not what she wants to say I’m sure but that is how my brain translates her mum!speak into me!speak
I feel like I am in 1989 trying to fit my 7inch vinyl into a new fangled Compact Disc player or cook my fray bentos pie in one of them there microwave ovens… I need to chuck out my rule book and accept the new world order!
Sometimes just doing the minimum (as in just eating shakes, three shakes and nothing but shakes) is ENOUGH I mean it’s more than enough it’s an achievement and whether we are fighting physical or mental demons we are fighting for this weight loss 16 hours a day every day and we don’t need to beat ourselves up on top of that.
I have realised the fact that we have love honoured and obeyed the diet through sickness and through health and forsaken all other foods means we do deserve the weight loss. If I can get my head around the things I am saying perhaps my demons will get back in their boxes and allow me to throw them in the next skip I drive past.
