Funny Farm's Diary
- Thread starter FunnyFarm
- Start date
notsoskinnymarge
Marge
Aye, you're right.
Have you decided to stick with it, or go back to TS early ?
Have you decided to stick with it, or go back to TS early ?
FunnyFarm
Silver Member
I'm not sure! I am incredibly indecisive.
I'm also thinking of making the switch to JUDDD. I've been reading the forums and it seems too good to be true. I've done 5 weeks of eating down day style every day, so I know I can do that part! I think I'll see what I weigh after a week back on TS. Any water or glycogen weight will come off then.
I have enough packs for two weeks. I originally thought of getting another bumper pack of 50 shakes, (I use tesco bars) so it's about a months worth, then JUDDDing to goal and beyond.
The scales today said 14.4. 13 stone is the BMI border that will take me under 30. 12 stone is half way between obese and normal. First I was thinking about JUDDDDing at 12 stone. I'll be happy enough there. My clothes will fit and I'll be less self conscious. I am embarrassed to admit that I have friends I've actively avoided since gaining weight. I'm ashamed of how I look right now, and I don't want to see them until I'm in my size 12s again. These aren't close friends, it's just an indication of how weight and self esteem dominates my life.
I'm hoping for a big loss after returning to TS, and a month of it will take me out of the obese bracket, and a way towards that 12 stone mark that will be the benchmark for being me again. I've always weighed more than I look like I should (big boobs and hips) so I'm a comfortable size 12 at that weight.
I'm about to start my own little business, and the extra cash will make a huge difference to my options. Part of my weight gain was frugality. Cheap food is not good for health! It makes financial sense to stay on Exante until I'm a bit more comfortable.
There is also a compromise. Instead of a week of SS next time, I could JUDDD for 2 weeks, and see what the scales say.
Pros of early JUDDD:
Can start exercising properly
Can stop putting off social events
Realistic long term maintenance plan
Don't have to explain to people
More enjoyable
Cons:
More expensive
Slower losses
Might not work
Slow losses mean I'll be unhappy with myself for longer.
Aaargh. I hate my inability to decide things! That's the one blooming thing I'm sure of!
I'm also thinking of making the switch to JUDDD. I've been reading the forums and it seems too good to be true. I've done 5 weeks of eating down day style every day, so I know I can do that part! I think I'll see what I weigh after a week back on TS. Any water or glycogen weight will come off then.
I have enough packs for two weeks. I originally thought of getting another bumper pack of 50 shakes, (I use tesco bars) so it's about a months worth, then JUDDDing to goal and beyond.
The scales today said 14.4. 13 stone is the BMI border that will take me under 30. 12 stone is half way between obese and normal. First I was thinking about JUDDDDing at 12 stone. I'll be happy enough there. My clothes will fit and I'll be less self conscious. I am embarrassed to admit that I have friends I've actively avoided since gaining weight. I'm ashamed of how I look right now, and I don't want to see them until I'm in my size 12s again. These aren't close friends, it's just an indication of how weight and self esteem dominates my life.
I'm hoping for a big loss after returning to TS, and a month of it will take me out of the obese bracket, and a way towards that 12 stone mark that will be the benchmark for being me again. I've always weighed more than I look like I should (big boobs and hips) so I'm a comfortable size 12 at that weight.
I'm about to start my own little business, and the extra cash will make a huge difference to my options. Part of my weight gain was frugality. Cheap food is not good for health! It makes financial sense to stay on Exante until I'm a bit more comfortable.
There is also a compromise. Instead of a week of SS next time, I could JUDDD for 2 weeks, and see what the scales say.
Pros of early JUDDD:
Can start exercising properly
Can stop putting off social events
Realistic long term maintenance plan
Don't have to explain to people
More enjoyable
Cons:
More expensive
Slower losses
Might not work
Slow losses mean I'll be unhappy with myself for longer.
Aaargh. I hate my inability to decide things! That's the one blooming thing I'm sure of!
notsoskinnymarge
Marge
It's because it is so difficult to lose !
Sometime you just don't know what to do for the best.
I have heard of JUDDD, but not researched it enough.
It does sound good, and maybe something I may toy with in the future. I will wait till I am much closer to goal though, as I need a touch more rigidity at the moment
I guess I'm just a bit scared that I get to used to the up days, as I haven't been into this diet properly for such a long time
Would maybe doing ten days of TS, to use up most of your packs, then deciding what you want to do then, be an option ?
Sometime you just don't know what to do for the best.
I have heard of JUDDD, but not researched it enough.
It does sound good, and maybe something I may toy with in the future. I will wait till I am much closer to goal though, as I need a touch more rigidity at the moment
I guess I'm just a bit scared that I get to used to the up days, as I haven't been into this diet properly for such a long time
Would maybe doing ten days of TS, to use up most of your packs, then deciding what you want to do then, be an option ?
FunnyFarm
Silver Member
It's the slow losses I can't take the thought of! 2 months of Exante and I'll be a happy size 12. It's my birthday in November, I want to be back to the old me by then.
I'm halfway between 16 and 14 now, which is over a dress size in a month.
I think I'm going to TS for at least another 4 weeks. Instead of food week I'll JUDDD for 2 weeks. By then, I might be in a 12-14, and if I'm reasonably happy with myself, I'll JUDDD forever.
Seems like a plan to me! Right?
I'm halfway between 16 and 14 now, which is over a dress size in a month.
I think I'm going to TS for at least another 4 weeks. Instead of food week I'll JUDDD for 2 weeks. By then, I might be in a 12-14, and if I'm reasonably happy with myself, I'll JUDDD forever.
Seems like a plan to me! Right?
notsoskinnymarge
Marge
Hahaha, aye, it does seem like a fabulous plan
How is the walking going ?
How is the walking going ?
notsoskinnymarge
Marge
Giving up smoking is not easy ! It took me years !
Well done so far funny farm !
Well done so far funny farm !
FunnyFarm
Silver Member
Back on TS, sob sob! I enjoyed food week, and stayed in control. I also noticed a slight decrease on the scales.
Hoping some of my weight was water retention and the like, and will come back off over the next few days. Official weigh in day isn't until Monday, so could still manage a loss yet!
Had a shake and a bar so far. One shake to go before bed. Out of ketosis though so starving!
Distraction techniques needed I think. I might give the bathroom a thorough clean.
Feeling hungry is rotten, but feeling in control is awesome! I must remember that.
Hoping some of my weight was water retention and the like, and will come back off over the next few days. Official weigh in day isn't until Monday, so could still manage a loss yet!
Had a shake and a bar so far. One shake to go before bed. Out of ketosis though so starving!
Distraction techniques needed I think. I might give the bathroom a thorough clean.
Feeling hungry is rotten, but feeling in control is awesome! I must remember that.
notsoskinnymarge
Marge
Distraction tactics are a must !
You can do it !
Nail painting is a fabulous distraction for me, because I am so rubbish at it, it takes ages !
You can do it !
Nail painting is a fabulous distraction for me, because I am so rubbish at it, it takes ages !
FunnyFarm
Silver Member
I opted for a nap, it did the trick. It feels like a restart though I know it isn't really. I was better than I was allowed to be in food week!
I've worked out my packs. I have enough for two weeks, so I'll buy another 50, and as I get my bars from tesco and have some cambridge ones left, it's about 6 weeks worth.
I would be really happy losing 2 stone, and doing the rest by JUDDD. I know my body and my mind are happy with me at that weight, so it seems like something to aim for. I don't think 6 weeks is long enough to get me there, and while I'd love to start JUDDD and eating as soon as possible, is it really worth it? Two months on this wouldn't actually that long. It feels depressingly long right now, but if I come off too early, I'll spend a lot longer than two months regretting it!
I'm wary of the nasty side effects I got on lighter life, and also thinking ahead to all the social events I'll need to turn down. Maybe these are bridges I should cross when I get to then?
Maybe I should just think ahead to the one thing I'm sure of, the next few weeks.
Another option, is doing 6 more weeks TS, with food break weeks every 3 instead of 4 weeks. That's technically 2 months on te diet, and should enable me to shift two stone.
I'm gonna look at my upcoming events and work it out.
I've worked out my packs. I have enough for two weeks, so I'll buy another 50, and as I get my bars from tesco and have some cambridge ones left, it's about 6 weeks worth.
I would be really happy losing 2 stone, and doing the rest by JUDDD. I know my body and my mind are happy with me at that weight, so it seems like something to aim for. I don't think 6 weeks is long enough to get me there, and while I'd love to start JUDDD and eating as soon as possible, is it really worth it? Two months on this wouldn't actually that long. It feels depressingly long right now, but if I come off too early, I'll spend a lot longer than two months regretting it!
I'm wary of the nasty side effects I got on lighter life, and also thinking ahead to all the social events I'll need to turn down. Maybe these are bridges I should cross when I get to then?
Maybe I should just think ahead to the one thing I'm sure of, the next few weeks.
Another option, is doing 6 more weeks TS, with food break weeks every 3 instead of 4 weeks. That's technically 2 months on te diet, and should enable me to shift two stone.
I'm gonna look at my upcoming events and work it out.
FunnyFarm
Silver Member
Done some maths.
If I do 3 weeks, food week, 3 weeks, food week, 3 weeks, working up the plans to maintain using JUDDD, I'll be able to attend the two big social occasions I have coming up and have a bit to drink.
That puts me at goal on 26th October. I'll have to buy a trashy Halloween costume to make the most of it!
If I do 3 weeks, food week, 3 weeks, food week, 3 weeks, working up the plans to maintain using JUDDD, I'll be able to attend the two big social occasions I have coming up and have a bit to drink.
That puts me at goal on 26th October. I'll have to buy a trashy Halloween costume to make the most of it!
FunnyFarm
Silver Member
This morning was the first morning I weighed less than last week. That means despite my food week gain I'm still going to have a loss this week. Yay.
Getting back into ketosis is hard. I've struggled to get anything done today, just got absolutely no energy!
I hope tomorrow is a bit easier.
Getting back into ketosis is hard. I've struggled to get anything done today, just got absolutely no energy!
I hope tomorrow is a bit easier.
FunnyFarm
Silver Member
You're very wise! I definitely feel that I want to eat NOW and I think part of me is trying to make excuses to get off the TS plan sooner rather than later. I know the losses on WS aren't that much different, but grey areas do make it harder. Breaking it into three week chunks feels more manageable, and fits in with my goals and the number of shakes i will have. I'm 2 stone away from a weight I'm comfortable with, so that's not going to take too long, not on this diet!
I might not drink alcohol when I'm out, but drinking water would result in questions, and I don't want to spend a night out justifying myself. Plus it'll be nice to let my hair down and get a bit silly.
I've felt hungry today, and headachey, but I'll survive. Lots of water will help, and I'll take it easy. Had an hour and a half dog walk which was nice, but feel wiped out from it now.
I might not drink alcohol when I'm out, but drinking water would result in questions, and I don't want to spend a night out justifying myself. Plus it'll be nice to let my hair down and get a bit silly.
I've felt hungry today, and headachey, but I'll survive. Lots of water will help, and I'll take it easy. Had an hour and a half dog walk which was nice, but feel wiped out from it now.
FunnyFarm
Silver Member
I may try some bouillon. The headache is temporary and I know it's worth it so it's all fine.
Spoke to someone about it today, and she just said "I couldn't do that" which made me feel good. Most of the time when people give us a hard time about the diet, that's what they're thinking. They couldn't do it so they justify why they'd never want to.
Most people can't go for as long as I have without food, and I need to remind myself how good I'll feel 2 stone down the line!
I'm generally feeling very positive and looking forward to the future, despite the headaches, weakness and hunger!
Spoke to someone about it today, and she just said "I couldn't do that" which made me feel good. Most of the time when people give us a hard time about the diet, that's what they're thinking. They couldn't do it so they justify why they'd never want to.
Most people can't go for as long as I have without food, and I need to remind myself how good I'll feel 2 stone down the line!
I'm generally feeling very positive and looking forward to the future, despite the headaches, weakness and hunger!
FunnyFarm
Silver Member
Only lost a pound from last week's weigh in! Gutted :-(
I had food week but I stuck to my calorie limit, often had fewer calories than I'd have had on TS! Started TS again on Friday, so water weight should've gone by now.
I'm feeling miserable today. What's the point of being this limited for such small losses?
I had food week but I stuck to my calorie limit, often had fewer calories than I'd have had on TS! Started TS again on Friday, so water weight should've gone by now.
I'm feeling miserable today. What's the point of being this limited for such small losses?
FunnyFarm
Silver Member
Well. I'm drinking vodka. I'm not in ketosis yet so it's not dangerous, but I am a bit cross with myself.
I've got a problem with my ex husband, trying to contact him regarding some money we're owed, if he doesn't sign for it we'll not get it, and it's worth nearly £3k each. It's enough to drag me out of the hole I'm currently in, living in a horrible flat with noisy neighbours and struggling month to month to pay off the last of my marital debt. He's trying to avoid all contact with me, closed down the email accounts I knew, blocked me on facebook, deleted mutual friends etc.
I found an old email from him and remembered the name he used online and googled it. I discovered stuff from him on a forum, saying I'd racked up debt (I admit I've been terrible with money in the past, but WE racked up debt, nothing happened behind his back) and that we were having a messy divorce. The only reason our divorce was messy was because he sold our house, lied to me about how much was left and refused to give me any of the money.
At the time I found out he's in a relationship with someone who was meant to be his friend, and they were expecting a baby. Our relationship had really crumbled when we were struggling to conceive, so I think I deserved to find out he was expecting a baby from him, not from gossip. We were supposed to be friends, and then I heard that. The news pretty much confirmed that the fertility problem was mine, and he didn't have the decency to tell me.
On the forum I found tonight, he said he's been in love with his current partner for 17 years, but couldn't say anything because she was married. So he'd basically married me while in love with someone else. I also found dating profiles on dogging websites and 'illicit encounters' sites. They didn't have dates on so I don't know if it was from when we were together or not. Either way it's just not the sort of person I thought he was.
The worst thing is, he's got people believing I'm the devil. That I got him into loads of debt and ruined his life. I think the idea that he was good with money but sat back and let me get us into horrific debt reflects worse on him than the truth, which is we were both naive, stupid, and living beyond our means.
I feel so betrayed, by the fact he obviously didn't ever love me, by the cheating, by lying about me, by letting his Dad ring my Mum accusing me of taking out fraudulent loan applications just days after a good friend of mine died suddenly (leaving behind my best friend and her 3 young children), and now by the fact he's refusing any contact with me.
I can't understand how he doesn't feel any guilt for what he's put me through. I can't grasp how he can live with himself ignoring me completely when 2 seconds of his time (and no money) could make such a dramatic difference.
I hate the fact that I'm living in the city where the people who hate me due to his lies live, and I could bump into them at any time.
I honestly don't know how I'm supposed to get past a betrayal of that kind. It's just incomprehensible to me that I can ever get over this.
So, yeah. Vodka. Seemed the sensible solution.
I've got a problem with my ex husband, trying to contact him regarding some money we're owed, if he doesn't sign for it we'll not get it, and it's worth nearly £3k each. It's enough to drag me out of the hole I'm currently in, living in a horrible flat with noisy neighbours and struggling month to month to pay off the last of my marital debt. He's trying to avoid all contact with me, closed down the email accounts I knew, blocked me on facebook, deleted mutual friends etc.
I found an old email from him and remembered the name he used online and googled it. I discovered stuff from him on a forum, saying I'd racked up debt (I admit I've been terrible with money in the past, but WE racked up debt, nothing happened behind his back) and that we were having a messy divorce. The only reason our divorce was messy was because he sold our house, lied to me about how much was left and refused to give me any of the money.
At the time I found out he's in a relationship with someone who was meant to be his friend, and they were expecting a baby. Our relationship had really crumbled when we were struggling to conceive, so I think I deserved to find out he was expecting a baby from him, not from gossip. We were supposed to be friends, and then I heard that. The news pretty much confirmed that the fertility problem was mine, and he didn't have the decency to tell me.
On the forum I found tonight, he said he's been in love with his current partner for 17 years, but couldn't say anything because she was married. So he'd basically married me while in love with someone else. I also found dating profiles on dogging websites and 'illicit encounters' sites. They didn't have dates on so I don't know if it was from when we were together or not. Either way it's just not the sort of person I thought he was.
The worst thing is, he's got people believing I'm the devil. That I got him into loads of debt and ruined his life. I think the idea that he was good with money but sat back and let me get us into horrific debt reflects worse on him than the truth, which is we were both naive, stupid, and living beyond our means.
I feel so betrayed, by the fact he obviously didn't ever love me, by the cheating, by lying about me, by letting his Dad ring my Mum accusing me of taking out fraudulent loan applications just days after a good friend of mine died suddenly (leaving behind my best friend and her 3 young children), and now by the fact he's refusing any contact with me.
I can't understand how he doesn't feel any guilt for what he's put me through. I can't grasp how he can live with himself ignoring me completely when 2 seconds of his time (and no money) could make such a dramatic difference.
I hate the fact that I'm living in the city where the people who hate me due to his lies live, and I could bump into them at any time.
I honestly don't know how I'm supposed to get past a betrayal of that kind. It's just incomprehensible to me that I can ever get over this.
So, yeah. Vodka. Seemed the sensible solution.
notsoskinnymarge
Marge
He has a completely different agenda Funny farm.
He will probably never feel any guilt towards you, as he believes what he did was right, and he believes that he doesn't have anything to feel guilty for.
Looking back, and trying to find out what he has been up to will never do YOU any good.
YOU have to look after YOU.
He didn't look after you whilst you were together, so he is not likely to do so now, whether or not it gets you out if a hole or not.
In fact, if he is not being truthful about what happened, he probably feels justified in not helping you out now, or ever for that matter.
As difficult as it may be, moving on and getting your self out of financial difficulty is the only answer. He has shown that he couldn't be trusted with other things, so this is no different.
I never found the answer to my marriage breakup in the bottom of a bottle, no matter how much I looked. And I looked there a lot in the begining !
But in my experience, a lot of people go throuh phases of life when that seems to be the only answer.
It's all very well and good, me or anyone else saying to you, forget him, move on, ect, ect, but I know it is harder to put into practise.
I used to think I had moved on, then another bombshell would hit me, and very raw memories would flood back.
Sorry if this is a wee bit harsh....sometimes reading back what you already know can help...... But I think you know that too.
I hope you don't have too bad a hangover tomorrow
Marge
Xxx
He will probably never feel any guilt towards you, as he believes what he did was right, and he believes that he doesn't have anything to feel guilty for.
Looking back, and trying to find out what he has been up to will never do YOU any good.
YOU have to look after YOU.
He didn't look after you whilst you were together, so he is not likely to do so now, whether or not it gets you out if a hole or not.
In fact, if he is not being truthful about what happened, he probably feels justified in not helping you out now, or ever for that matter.
As difficult as it may be, moving on and getting your self out of financial difficulty is the only answer. He has shown that he couldn't be trusted with other things, so this is no different.
I never found the answer to my marriage breakup in the bottom of a bottle, no matter how much I looked. And I looked there a lot in the begining !
But in my experience, a lot of people go throuh phases of life when that seems to be the only answer.
It's all very well and good, me or anyone else saying to you, forget him, move on, ect, ect, but I know it is harder to put into practise.
I used to think I had moved on, then another bombshell would hit me, and very raw memories would flood back.
Sorry if this is a wee bit harsh....sometimes reading back what you already know can help...... But I think you know that too.
I hope you don't have too bad a hangover tomorrow
Marge
Xxx
FunnyFarm
Silver Member
Doesn't seem harsh at all. Well, the reality is, but that's only one person's fault.
I am hungover. I'm craving bacon so I might view today as the ultimate diet test. Vodka and coke zero is better than a pizza, and I was on my own finding horrible stuff out, I can forgive myself that slip. I'm glad it wasn't food.
I am hungover. I'm craving bacon so I might view today as the ultimate diet test. Vodka and coke zero is better than a pizza, and I was on my own finding horrible stuff out, I can forgive myself that slip. I'm glad it wasn't food.
