Gen's CD Diary... Day 185... gonna give SS another bash!!

[Gen]

Day 163... Day 6 (well not really :-(()

hiya guys

its day 163 on my cd journey and day 6 of my restart except i lost it on saturday night and ate and drank, i also ate a little bit yesterday and drank a couple of glasses of wine but nothing compared to what i would normally have had. on the way in this morning i was having a bit of an argument with the chatterbox it wanted chocolate cakes and i didn't... would you believe i was on route to the shops and i just turned around............. here i am in work pint of water glugging away and just gonna have a cup of tea and a cd bar!! quite proud i didn't carry on with my slip!!

anyway weighed myself on saturday morning and was 12st 10lb.. thats 8lb in 3 days WOW.. and then i weighed myself this morning and only 1lb up so i'm thankfull that i kinda got away with it BUT only if i stick with it!!

anyway my weekend was a bit of a crap one to be honest. my chatterbox was going 90 on saturday afternoon telling me to eat and i just wanted to be normal and that i should join weight watchers and go to the gym blah blah blah... was out for the day with WW (weekend wanker) my god is he living up to his name... and he was off the drink since tuesday... we had a lovely day and we had kinda said we might go for dinner and then nothing happened about that and i suggested he cook... well when he cooks he drinks wine is what he said and it all just steam rolled from there, he was trying to blame me for putting the idea into his head, long story short he decided to drink we ended up getting wine and had a lovely night until well i don't know but we start arguing and he wasn't very nice and i can't remember some of it but it got a bit nasty which he is able to change into mr nasty quite easily. anyway woke yesterday morning all was grand but he kept saying not really complimentary things just generally and i was super sensitive so took them all totally to heart and wasn't in good form. headed home around 5ish, he just wanted to drink. i felt really **** when i got home and just went straight back out driving around, i text him and rang him telling him i felt really **** and would he ring me back, nothing from him!!! rang him another couple of times and nothing! i know he can't handle anyone elses emotions he can't even handle his own but what kind of friendship is that????????? i know its not. so i know we are not good for each other well especially while i'm not eating and him not drinking cos he has so many issues and can't support me, even tho he is very supportive when he can be, but when he is down he just turns into a prick and can't handle anything.

anyway just had to get that of my chest. i, for some reason want him in my life, he doesn't bring a whole lot to it just some male company and when we get on we really do get on but when we don't we really don't.

i just don't know... but the good thing is i'm back on cd today and fingers crossed i'll stick to it!!

love

Gen xx

 

[Karen1972]

Morning Gen

What a weekend you've had honey!!

I think you should get out more tbh and meet other eligbile men!! You seem to invest a lot of time in this WW and he really isn't worth it. He just makes you unhappy - you only have to read your diary from start to finish to realise that! He's dragging you down chick and you need people around you to help and encourage you on this very difficult journey.

You did well to only put a pound on, i'm well jealous cos i've put half a stone on over the weekend grrrrrrr! I was good up until Saturday, had a bit of meat and put 3lbs on (gobsmacked!) then yesterday was binge city again and put another 4lbs on. I know it's only glycogen and will come off quickly but i'm just delaying myself so much by getting back to goal!! I feel disgusting today.

Today is a new day, no point fretting about weekend. So let's be good today!

Lots of luv,

 

[sarahjj]

Morning Gen!

Oh dear, what a weekend you've had. I totally agree with Karen - you need to get out more and meet some new people. Everytime you do something with him you seem to get dragged down to, and you can't afford to let that happen. You were so positive last week, so can't believe that it was totally your idea to eat. Anyway, I thought that he was meant to be off the drink??? You'd think that you would be the perfect couple coz you could encourage each other everytime you felt like eating/drinking.

Good on you for turning round this morning and no carrying on with the eating, but don't let yourself keep taking 2 steps forward abd one back (what a cliche that was!!!), but so true!! You're a much better person than WW, please honey, dont let him drag you down.

Hope you have a good day, and enjoyed your tea (black I hope!! ) and CD bar!

Love Sarah x

 

[Gen]

hiya karen

thanks for that... ya know what i know it all but there is just something about him that keeps me going back.... 10% of the time he is good for me, not sure how the other 90% he is bad and there is no mistaking that!!!

i think the reason i keep with him is because if we do part as friends i know he won't contact me so therefore its rejection and i don't do rejection very well.

i need to change this relationship big style, he isn't able for any kind of an emotional relationship, even if it is only friends so i'm wasting my time ever relying on him!!

anyway i'm grand again now and on cd so far so good today!!!

why didn't ya contact me yesterday with your binge??? was it a case of i might just talk ya out of it lol sure aren't we all our own worst enemies!!

hope you are having a good day

Gen xx

 

[Gen]

Morning Gen!

Oh dear, what a weekend you've had. I totally agree with Karen - you need to get out more and meet some new people. Everytime you do something with him you seem to get dragged down to, and you can't afford to let that happen. You were so positive last week, so can't believe that it was totally your idea to eat. Anyway, I thought that he was meant to be off the drink??? You'd think that you would be the perfect couple coz you could encourage each other everytime you felt like eating/drinking.

Good on you for turning round this morning and no carrying on with the eating, but don't let yourself keep taking 2 steps forward abd one back (what a cliche that was!!!), but so true!! You're a much better person than WW, please honey, dont let him drag you down.

Hope you have a good day, and enjoyed your tea (black I hope!! ) and CD bar!

Love Sarah x

Hiya Sarah

i know he is an asshole and i need to just back away, he is no good for me.

it was all me wanting to eat on saturday sure he wouldn't eat at all if he didn't have to so i can't blame him on that. i just had an afternoon of wanting to be normal and able to eat like a normal person blah blah blah

anyway back on track today so its all grand.

ur probably mailing from your bed today are ya ya lucky thing!!!

how was ur weekend??

Gen xx

 

[Karen1972]

hiya karen

thanks for that... ya know what i know it all but there is just something about him that keeps me going back.... 10% of the time he is good for me, not sure how the other 90% he is bad and there is no mistaking that!!!

i think the reason i keep with him is because if we do part as friends i know he won't contact me so therefore its rejection and i don't do rejection very well.

i need to change this relationship big style, he isn't able for any kind of an emotional relationship, even if it is only friends so i'm wasting my time ever relying on him!!

anyway i'm grand again now and on cd so far so good today!!!

why didn't ya contact me yesterday with your binge??? was it a case of i might just talk ya out of it lol sure aren't we all our own worst enemies!!

hope you are having a good day

Gen xx

I shoulda contacted you, but i convinced myself that a bit of meat wouldn't hurt and then the usual downward spriral from there! Oh well, no point in dwelling, can't change it - just learn from it - again!!!

Re WW - only you can decide what to do with him honey! but i think if you had another distraction in your life, you'd be less dependent on him.....

Luv,

 

[Gen]

well guys... on weekend wanker... i rang him and asked to meet tonight and he said he wasn't going to be home, he knew i wanted to 'talk' to him thats why. anyway sent him a mail basically telling him that things have to change. i feel a lot better after sending that. he hasn't replied and i don't really expect a reply but ya know what at least he knows now that he can't walk all over me anymore. me thinks i'm taking back control.

planning a night out on saturday night so there is my incentive to stick with ss'ing for the week!!!!

onwards and downwards!!!

lots of love

Gen xx

 

[Mini]

Hi Gen,

Not too much damage done on the CD side of things but I feel the emotional side is wearing you down.

Most of us have had a WW in our lives that we felt at one time we could not live without...

I know how it is...it it another crazy addiction and even though we are not blinded to their faults we get a buzz from them.

Just so happy he went off and married someone else, did not think that at the time...as he broke my heart...but now so very happy he did.

I am sure you will too in time.

You can't put an old head on young shoulders and you have to go through this until you can't take no more or he does what my WW did and went off with one of the women he was having a relationship with as the same time as me...I guess he still is having his other relationships as one woman was never enough, so he was not very special after all, just an addiction...was not even good in bed Never treated me right, had no manners, was full of himself, was not really good looking either...I did not even like the smell of him...weird. Maybe in some strange way I thought I could rebuild him into something that would suit...we do tend to think like that when we are very young, I watched to many old romantic movies where some thug was beating the crap out of the woman and the next thing they were in each others arms swearing their undying love to one another.

You know sometimes it is worth looking at a relationship and seeing that during the courtship years that is as good as it gets!

If he is a pig now you will never turn him into a silk purse.

He will always be a pig.

I heard of a new dating site called no more frogs.

What a great title for a site...

Home

Love Mini xxx

 

[Gen]

Hi Gen,

Not too much damage done on the CD side of things but I feel the emotional side is wearing you down.

Most of us have had a WW in our lives that we felt at one time we could not live without...

I know how it is...it it another crazy addiction and even though we are not blinded to their faults we get a buzz from them.

Just so happy he went off and married someone else, did not think that at the time...as he broke my heart...but now so very happy he did.

I am sure you will too in time.

You can't put an old head on young shoulders and you have to go through this until you can't take no more or he does what my WW did and went off with one of the women he was having a relationship with as the same time as me...I guess he still is having his other relationships as one woman was never enough, so he was not very special after all, just an addiction...was not even good in bed Never treated me right, had no manners, was full of himself, was not really good looking either...I did not even like the smell of him...weird. Maybe in some strange way I thought I could rebuild him into something that would suit...we do tend to think like that when we are very young, I watched to many old romantic movies where some thug was beating the crap out of the woman and the next thing they were in each others arms swearing their undying love to one another.

You know sometimes it is worth looking at a relationship and seeing that during the courtship years that is as good as it gets!

If he is a pig now you will never turn him into a silk purse.

He will always be a pig.

I heard of a new dating site called no more frogs.

What a great title for a site...

Home

Love Mini xxx

Hiya Mini...

thanks for that and ur description of ur very own WW is very close to the one i have .. he is not and never has been a boyfriend and i don't want him to be either and thats the truth.

i have sent him an email telling him things need to change and we both need to sit down and talk about what is acceptable behaviour in our friendship and i haven't heard back from him.

but do you know what i feel empowered that i have done this so i have taken control of the situation and the ball is now very firmly in his court to come back to me. i feel much more in control over cd and i am shocked i didn't give in today to food but i haven't been bloody hungry

mini thanks as always for your wise words

love

Gen xx

 

[Gen]

Hi Gen,

Not too much damage done on the CD side of things but I feel the emotional side is wearing you down.

Most of us have had a WW in our lives that we felt at one time we could not live without...

I know how it is...it it another crazy addiction and even though we are not blinded to their faults we get a buzz from them.

Just so happy he went off and married someone else, did not think that at the time...as he broke my heart...but now so very happy he did.

I am sure you will too in time.

You can't put an old head on young shoulders and you have to go through this until you can't take no more or he does what my WW did and went off with one of the women he was having a relationship with as the same time as me...I guess he still is having his other relationships as one woman was never enough, so he was not very special after all, just an addiction...was not even good in bed Never treated me right, had no manners, was full of himself, was not really good looking either...I did not even like the smell of him...weird. Maybe in some strange way I thought I could rebuild him into something that would suit...we do tend to think like that when we are very young, I watched to many old romantic movies where some thug was beating the crap out of the woman and the next thing they were in each others arms swearing their undying love to one another.

You know sometimes it is worth looking at a relationship and seeing that during the courtship years that is as good as it gets!

If he is a pig now you will never turn him into a silk purse.

He will always be a pig.

I heard of a new dating site called no more frogs.

What a great title for a site...

Home

Love Mini xxx

Hiya Mini...

thanks for that and ur description of ur very own WW is very close to the one i have .. he is not and never has been a boyfriend and i don't want him to be either and thats the truth.

i have sent him an email telling him things need to change and we both need to sit down and talk about what is acceptable behaviour in our friendship and i haven't heard back from him.

but do you know what i feel empowered that i have done this so i have taken control of the situation and the ball is now very firmly in his court to come back to me. i feel much more in control over cd and i am shocked i didn't give in today to food but i haven't been bloody hungry

mini thanks as always for your wise words

love

Gen xx

 

[Mini]

Hi Gen,

I hope your right, but even with a friendship only we do expect respect.

I know you go back a long way and you are the loyal sort, but even saints have a breaking point.

You have given him so much of yourself to him and supported him beyond the call of duty and he is still not taking responsibility.

I hope you do focus on yourself and like all women who love too much, please give some back to yourself for this week...

Love Mini xxx

 

[Gen]

Hi Gen,

I hope your right, but even with a friendship only we do expect respect.

I know you go back a long way and you are the loyal sort, but even saints have a breaking point.

You have given him so much of yourself to him and supported him beyond the call of duty and he is still not taking responsibility.

I hope you do focus on yourself and like all women who love too much, please give some back to yourself for this week...

Love Mini xxx

cheers honey... i have replied to your pm and you are once again a star!!

love ya loads and always value your input, no matter how hard hitting!!

Gen xx

 

[Gen]

Well guys

i'm getting back to my old self again, i just really have to keep my eye on the ball now and not let myself be influenced by other people again!!

i mailed WW yesterday just saying things gotta change blah blah and haven't heard back, not surprised at all. I feel grand about it, just a bit sad is all but i'll get over that. i'm not saying its over by any means but i am saying that i have taken control of the situation and i'm not letting it go on the way it has been.

food wise, not sure today but i know what i gotta do!!

anyway loads to do, chat laters...

Gen xx

 

[Karen1972]

Hi gorgeous girl

Glad you're feeling in control - i still think you should widen your horizons, then you'll lose focus on WW and be able to take him for what he is and lose far less sleep over it!

How did you get on with SS yesterday babe? What are you not sure about today?

Indecision is no good on this diet!! lol

Love ya,

 

[Mini]

Well guys

i'm getting back to my old self again, i just really have to keep my eye on the ball now and not let myself be influenced by other people again!!

i mailed WW yesterday just saying things gotta change blah blah and haven't heard back, not surprised at all. I feel grand about it, just a bit sad is all but i'll get over that. i'm not saying its over by any means but i am saying that i have taken control of the situation and i'm not letting it go on the way it has been.

food wise, not sure today but i know what i gotta do!!

anyway loads to do, chat laters...

Gen xx

Gen,

You will get stronger...just think back six weeks and you had it all going on just the way you wanted. You can get back there again...I do believe you will, you were so happy with yourself.

You have given him all your time and there is nothing come back for you...

Just take back even a little of the time and effort you have been giving to him...time, feelings and comfort and give it to yourself.

Nothing tastes as good as slim does


Sending hugs.

Love Mini xxx

 

[sarahjj]

Hey Gen!

Glad to hear that things are well in Gen-world today! Keep focused and keep your eyes on the prize

Have a great afteroon!

Love Sarah x

 

[Gen]

Hey Gen!

Glad to hear that things are well in Gen-world today! Keep focused and keep your eyes on the prize

Have a great afteroon!

Love Sarah x

Hey Sarah

thanks for posting.... hows things with you??

love

Gen xx

 

[Gen]

Hi Guys

Have hardly had a minute to be on here today, broadband was down this morning and i kinda got into work mode not sure what thats about lol

anyway i'm doing grand today just kinda getting on with it. not doing ss but haven't lost control either, planning on hopping straight back on in the morning.

hope everyone is doing good

love

Gen xx

 

[Gen]

Hi gorgeous girl

Glad you're feeling in control - i still think you should widen your horizons, then you'll lose focus on WW and be able to take him for what he is and lose far less sleep over it!

How did you get on with SS yesterday babe? What are you not sure about today?

Indecision is no good on this diet!! lol

Love ya,

Hiya Karen

Got on grand with SS yesterday didn't eat until yesterday night.

i'm not really indecisive just didn't want to do it today.... i'm in control tho and i know how easy it is to lose that so i'm hopping straight back on tomorrow morning!!!

Love

Gen xx

 

[Isobel1965]

Hun - reading your last few posts immediately brought this book to mind - I honestly hope you don't think I'm being horrid but we honestly have all been there!!! I know I have with every relationship I've ever had except the one I've got now!

If he doesn't reply to your email/text/call etc, it's cos he doesn't want to. End of.


Amazon.co.uk: He's Just Not That into You: The No-excuses Truth to Understanding Guys: Books: Greg Behrendt,Liz Tuccillo

'He's Just Not That Into You' by Greg Behrendt and Liz Tuccillo
"From The Publisher:
He says:
Oh sure, they say they're busy. They say that they didn't have even a moment in their insanely busy day to pick up the phone. It was just that crazy. All lies. With the advent of cell phones and speed dialing, it is almost impossible not to call you. Sometimes I call people from my pants pocket when I don't even mean to. If I were into you, you would be the bright spot in my horribly busy day. Which would be a day that I would never be too busy to call you.

She says:
There is something great about knowing that my only job is to be as happy as I can be about my life, and feel as good as I can about myself, and to lead as full and eventful a life as I can, so that it doesn't ever feel like I'm just waiting around for some guy to ask me out. And most importantly, it's good for us all to remember that we don't need to scheme and plot, or beg anyone to ask us out. We're fantastic.

For ages, women have come together over coffee, cocktails or late-night phone chats to analyze the puzzling behavior of men.

He's afraid to get hurt again.
Maybe he doesn't want to ruin the friendship.
Maybe he's intimidated by me.
He just got out of a relationship.

Greg Behrendt and Liz Tuccillo are here to say that—despite good intentions—you're wasting your time. Men are not complicated, although they'd like you to think they are. And there are no mixed messages.

The truth may be He's just not that into you.

Unfortunately, guys are too terrified to ever directly tell a woman, "You're not the one." But their actions absolutely show how they feel.

He's Just Not That Into You—based on a popular episode of Sex and the City—educates otherwise smart women on how to tell when a guy just doesn't like them enough, so they can stop wasting time making excuses for a dead-end relationship.

Reexamining familiar scenarios and classic mindsets that keep us in unsatisfying relationships, Behrendt and Tuccillo's wise and wry understanding of the sexes spares women hours of waiting by the phone, obsessing over the details with sympathetic girlfriends, and hoping his mixed messages really mean "I'm in love with you and want to be with you."

He's Just Not That Into You is provocative, hilarious and, above all, intoxicatingly liberating. It deserves a place on every woman's night table. It knows you're a beautiful, smart, funny woman who deserves better. The next time you feel the need to start "figuring him out," consider the glorious thought that maybe he's just not that into you. And then set yourself loose to go find the one who is. "


Darling - please don't waste any more of your time/love/energy on this man. He is not the One for you.

lots of love