ok so there are a few bits and pieces i want to get down here today....
1. In future when my body craves chicken, mushrooms and brocolli... i'm going to let it have it...
I had been craving this for a few days and didn't have it... then it escalated into me having wine and chinese and crisps on friday night... got a healthy ish chinese and could only drink one glass of wine... just had to have it!!! I do think if i had have made arrangements to have the above craved food this wouldn't have happened... not saying if i crave it everyday i'll have it... but i had gone 12 days with no food so that would not have hurt at all!
Sometimes it is easier to look back with hindsight and guess what you would have done. If you know you have to have it then damage limitation is often the way forward, but at least you are not beating yourself up about it. (Says she who's just stuffed her face from the chippy ).
2. Food defo fills an emotional void in my life...
it became very evident over the weekend... it was a long weekend here and i did very very little... although i stuck to ss during the day it was my plan to have food and some wine at night which i did...
i'm not sure if it is a void that i need to work on or is it just a habit because i did have a void that i have now mended and now i just need to work on breaking the habit, if that makes any sense
anyway i'm going to my therapist on thursday so i'll explore that one...
I always found that emotional voids made me eat more. BUT habit is a major player in my life too, for example last night I came home from work and my habit is to eat immediately - just because I always have done. Wasn't hungry (even though I was on day 1) but hometime=eating time. Habit breaker needed. Have printed some thought record sheets and put them in front of the fridge for when I go home tonight! Glad you are going to explore this with the therapist.
3. I need to get a life....
I need to fill my time with stuff I like doing and i need to push myself to doing this... I'm in a kind of hibernation at the moment cos i've no clothes for going out in and i don't like going out in the ones that 'fit' me....
The good weather and bright evenings will help with this so roll on the clocks going back!!!
I totally agree about filling your time. When I'm bored or lonely I eat (food is my only friend you know! *lol*). Have recently upped my social life and that brings it's own problems too - want to be "normal" as it is hard to explain SSing to other people. It's a fine balance and I haven't sussed it yet either!
4. I get excited when i know i am either going to get food or know i'm getting food... how very odd!!!
Yep me too, it's almost like having a treat and allowing yourself to pamper yourself. It's like a way to be nice to yourself when no-one else is!
So I have put on 4lb over the weekend... believe me could have been worse... but on the up side i have lost in total 9lb since i started which i'm happy about... looking at the positives here!!!
Other positives are...
- I went to curves 3 times last week and enjoyed it and plan on doing that again this week
- I went out for a walk last week also
- I'm still seeing my therapist and i do think this is going to help me sort my long term life out!!
ok i think that is it..... says you all... its enough ha ha
I am ss'ing today... little bit iffy about it but i'll get there!!!
thanks for reading and for all your support!!
love