Gizmo's diary

[_Gizmo_]

I've lost 3lbs! Really didn't expect that after the lazy week that i've had lol Need to be more active this week I think! lol

The hunger is finally dying down a bit. And i'm not wanting to eat chocolate and crisps. Id rather go for a banana or something like that if i'm hungry Still doesn't help when everyone else in the house seems to eat loads and leaves packets of biscuits open around the place Especially my brother who seems to be constantly eating but never puts on any weight at all! lol

 

[bellefrogette]

.
A couple of weeks ago I thought, if I don't do something soon, that won't happen. The person I am right now is not who I am inside. The real me is more active than this, and theres a whole load of other things she wants to do that my size is holding her back from!

.... No excuses this time! I can be bothered to get myself to how I want to be! Nothing much is changing at the moment, apart from my weight. No relationship issues to get me down. The only stressful thing is my job and even that puts me in a good mood occasionally.

Gizmo You are one smart cookie. At your age I was half asleep. Also you have identified a key factor, that the real you is quite active nad knowing that makes a huge difference.And you are doing this for the right reason, you.

You go girl and keep on keeping on.

 

[_Gizmo_]

Thanks Yeah, knowing that does make a big difference. I used to love playing football and stuff at school, but i've gotten so unfit now that I won't even bother trying.

Just been going through pics on facebook, I hate how my chin ruins so many pics lol! Can't wait until that goes and the chubbyness in my face! lol! Also found pics of me in jeans and my fave camo trousers that don't fit me anymore, and those were from around last feb! And I remember wearing the jeans around september time eeek! Theres also pics where I look really pregnant This is giving me more motivation to do this. Especially when i'm coming accross pics of one of my friends who went on lighterlife, She's completely changed

 

[_Gizmo_]

I'm off for a night out with some friends at the weekend, so i've been looking at the calories in the drinks that I would have. Theres so many calories in them Never even thought about that and I used to drink loads several nights a week when I was at uni. Now here I have a challenge! Have a fun night out while consuming the least amount of calories. Sure I could just drink water all night but I do enjoy a bit of alcohol every once in a while Just won't be drinking as much as I normally drink on a night out thats for sure! lol

 

[_Gizmo_]

Going to the gym tomorrow Going to use my free guest pass first and then decide if I definately want to join or not. Which I probably will coz I'll be going shopping to get some trainers and jogging bottoms as I think jeans and DCs will not be ideal for the gym

Kinda nervous as it will be the first time i've actually used a gym and i'll be alone. Should be fine though

 

[_Gizmo_]

Joined the gym today Used my free guest pass first to see if I liked it. Did 5mins on crosstrainer, 10mins on bike, 5mins on rower and 25mins on the treadmill. Was more fun than I was expecting, and also kind of relaxing lol Going to go tomorrow, before I go over to see my friends and have a night out.

Need to find my mp3 player and put some songs on it

 

[_Gizmo_]

Lost 4lbs this week and now i'm under 16st. Never want to see 16st on my scales ever again hehe

 

[_Gizmo_]

Thanks. I can't wait to see 14st on my scale lol. Excited about seeing 15st 7lbs on there hehe. Shouldn't be long before that happens

Didn't go to the gym yesterday because I needed to get somethings done at home after work. Will be going tonight though. I find it such a good stress relief after a long day at work. Felt bad yesterday because I didn't go. Can't wait to get back there! Never thought I would love going to a gym lol!

Eating wise, everythings fine atm. Stopped counting calories so obsessively now, I do it when i'm not sure though. I just found I was thinking about food constantly, when I could eat it next and what I should eat. Generally i'm getting around 1200-1300 calories and I'm quite happy with that amount, the hungers nowhere near as bad as when I started. Now that I know how much I should be eating and at what times to eat, its alot easier. Don't see myself going back to the way I used to eat. Don't even find I have a craving for cola and chocolate now

 

[_Gizmo_]

Thought I might aswell take some pics to use as before pics, even though i've lost 9lbs already lol. Gone from wearing size 20 jeans to size 18 now

 

[_Gizmo_]

Lost 1lb this week, was hoping for more since I started going to the gym loads this week. I hope it was something to do with using my muscles loads and building them or something lol

I've lost up to 2.9inches in some places. Especially my tummy, waist and hips So glad I measured myself when I started. Made this week not as disappointing lol

 

[_Gizmo_]

You look gorgeous on those pictures, not really how I pictured you. Well done on the loss too for this week, you're doing great. And there is nothing better than seeing the inches going down, gives you such a great buzz - Have a great week. xxx

Lol don't usually dress like that, just a shirt I got on sale to wear at the gym instead of baggy black band tshirts Still a bit tight tho so won't wear it just yet. Also a rare pic of me without makeup on Usually have lots of black eyeliner on lol

So glad about seeing the inches go down. Might start measuring myself each week. Especially this week, so i can see how much the gym is making a difference. Didn't see much change last week but a big change yesterday, so maybe it is.

Planning on doing a decent weights session tomorrow, friday and sunday. Went and used the weights at the gym yesterday and was sore today lol. Was the first time I had properley used them so not too suprised. Feel a bit stronger now since I managed to carry a 20kg Border Collie alone at work today. Wasn't able to do that before lol!

Eating wise hasn't been so great today just wanted to binge loads! but tried to keep to healthy snacks. Think I kept under 1500 calories lol. Just felt so hungry all the time. Not been in a great mood today really. Found out if I want a smaller uniform I'll have to pay for it myself Costs £50 at least. I looked at my uniform today and the trousers are size 28 and the tops a size 24. No wonder they feel baggy, my biggest size was size 20 bottoms and size 18 tops. Should have said something months ago lol. Think i'll just keep these ones until I have to get a smaller size. They're not too bad atm, but I might go hunting for some cheap, similar trousers when I go into town on friday.

Also feeling fed up of being single, which isn't helping the urge to binge lol. But I don't think I want the stress of being in a relationship atm. Maybe if it wasn't long distance again, but don't think I'll find anyone around here

 

[_Gizmo_]

I laughed at you carrying the border collie, I am finding it easier to carry my daughter now and she weighs the same as what I have lost in total. I couldn't carry her before without being in complete pain for a week afterwards.

I need to lose about 2 Border collies altogether Will be glad when they've gone! lol

 

[_Gizmo_]

Urgh, my weight seems to be going completely wrong since I joined the gym. Atm its showing a gain again, just like it did last week. Hope this is only temporary. Still not going to quit the gym though. It's too good of a stress relief and I need it to tone up. Prefer doing weight training to cardio. Might increase weights a little on friday as they seemed too easy yesterday. Might test out my fitness ball aswell this weekend, and possibly my skipping rope aswell. Even though i'm useless at it lol

Still feeling a bit fed up of being single but at least now I can do whatever I want and don't have to worry about a boyfriend. Not really wanting to settle down just yet, still young lol! This time I won't go looking for a relationship, if anything happens then it happens. Everytime I went looking before it ended in me getting hurt, which I really don't want again. Hehe can't wait until I've slimmed down and my exes see what I look like

 

[_Gizmo_]

Well, so far this week has been good. Ate alot healthier stuff this week, not used to it! lol Going to to do lots of exercise this weekend. Gym everyday, weight training tomorrow and sunday and lots of walking. Going to feel dead by the end of it lol.

Really hoping my tattoos still look good by the time I reach my goal! I'll post pics of a couple of them, and then take pics to compare them as I go along. I have 7 altogether, pawprints on my wrists, star on the back of my neck, shark on my back, leopard print on my left arm and a ying-yang and some tribal on my right arm. Going to get more when I've lost the weight. Too addicted to tattoos lol!

 

[_Gizmo_]

You could just be turning fat into muscle, if you lose, in theory, 1lb but have turned 2lb into muscle, then you are gaining 1lb weight, so you are still losing, but not... make sense?

I have thought long and hard about this barbed wire I have around the top of my arm... I hate it with a passion but have noticed that it is starting to hang slightly and wondered if it will get worse with the more weight I lose. I think you might just get away with yours as they aren't really on the fatty side of your arms... Loving the paw prints!
xxx

Yeah, it makes sense. I need a bit of muscle, didn't have any strength before. I'm noticing that I can do more now. Was practically running on the treadmill today, but i'm too scared to actually run just yet. Partly because I sprained my ankle badly in october and it still hurts sometimes now =/ I'll just keep working at building it up.

Maybe mine won't be too bad. Nowhere near the worst parts of my arms. And my shark is going up my spine so is away from the really fatty parts on my back. Think I might end up getting more done on my arms, maybe half sleeves or something like that, at least going to get my leopard print extended Think my pawprints are my favourite, I guess coz I see them all the time. Love my star aswell, but I rarely see it coz of it being on the back of my neck. Just wanted to see what I would be like to get a tattoo there lol it was nearly painless!

 

[_Gizmo_]

Lol, I started getting mine done when I was 18, so I had 7 done within 2 years (not had one done for over a year), cost me over £200 I think. Kinda wish I had picked something else rather than the ying-yang and tribal, the rest i'm happy with. Most of them happened because my friends were going to get tattoos and once i'm in the tattoo place I can't help but want one. Think its the noise lol. Always wanted a pawprint though, my second pawprint was done when my mum decided she randomly wanted another tattoo while out shopping so I said I'd get one aswell Wouldn't get rid of them, they all remind me of something.

 

[_Gizmo_]

Lots of exercise today. Walked into town and back, took the dog for a walk and went to the gym for over an hour doing weights and a little bit of cardio. Just did some more weight training at home aswell. Feel so tired now lol

Nearly brought a dress today in a size 12, just can't afford to spend that much atm, otherwise I would have got it for a bit of motivation. Maybe in a couple of weeks i'll go and get it Never really been into wearing dresses, mainly because of a lack of confidence. I just saw this dress and instantly loved it. I know that as I lose the weight my confidence will grow. And my style will change. Won't be wearing jeans when I go on a night out anymore lol Definatley more dresses/skirts. Also more heels, as I feel like im too big to walk in them now. All my weight on my tiptoes all night = not good lol

Matalan - short sleeve waisted printed prom dress

 

[_Gizmo_]

It is a pretty dress Can't believe how much i'm changing. The old me would have hated the idea of wearing a dress lol I know i'll become more girly as I go along lol. Been too much of a tomboy for years. My friends even complain when i'm not bothered about shoes and that lol. Will see what i'm like when I get to goal, think i'll be loving shoes and all the girly things once I feel comfortable wearing it.

Anyway, just watched Marley and me on sky. Love this film, always want to cry though hehe. I love the idea of her 'plan' and thinking about it I kind of have one. I want to have a good job, meet a nice guy, have a nice home, get a dog lol (maybe not as bad as marley ) and have kids. So far all the guys i've been with didn't really want the same as me, which is why i'm going to wait until the right guy comes along. Which should happen eventually. At 21, i'm not expecting to find all this anytime soon. Need a few years to find out about the real me as she has been hiding for years! If I try to desperately look for a man, then theres a good chance i'll find the wrong one like I always seem to lol. Time to put the past behind me (sounding a bit like lion king there? lol) and enjoy my life for a bit. Need a bit of time where I think about what I need and not try to make someone else happy instead. When I was in relationships before, I always thought about them first and anything I wanted went out the window (like losing weight). Half the time I didn't feel like they were doing the same for me I've had 4 relationships since I was 16 (so about 5 years). The guys were the ones that ended it, part of me always felt that my weight was a part of the reason. I know one of them left me by just stopping talking to me, then I found out 2 weeks later he was in a relationship with this skinny girl. Meh, thats all in the past and it's their loss if they realise they made a mistake I'm just going to let things happen now. So much has changed in the last year since leaving uni and I know now that i've started this weight loss that loads can change in the next year.

Anyway, sorry for the big rant lol! I like writing my thoughts down here, it will keep me motivated when I look back at it when i'm finding things really hard Atm, its hard because weight doesn't seem to be shifting even though i'm exercising more. But i'm just going to keep going at it because the life i'm living now is ALOT better than my old life. Got more things to do in my day rather than sit in bed, munching on food and watching dvds. Thats what I did in my student life, kinda need to grow up a bit now im in the real world with a job and everything else to look forward to . When I first started this I didn't think I would get to this point but now i'm here, I feel great. Amazing how much changing diet can change you, just needed a bit of time and patience for it to happen.

Bye bye, the old me!! Hello, a more feminine me! lol

 

[_Gizmo_]

This week I'm still the same as I was last week. I tried hard aswell so not too happy about it. Meh, I'll try just as hard next week, if not harder. Going to start keeping a food diary again, as that makes me keep to low calories. Hope next week is a loss!

 

[_Gizmo_]

Think i'm going to try to up my calories this week. Only to around 1500. But I think around 1200 is too little for me. Esp with working 10 hours 4 days a week and gym 5 days a week. Plus dog walking and random things I have to get done on my days off. Will see what happens next week. Trial and error I guess lol