Gizmo's diary

[_Gizmo_]

Lost 1lb this week. Hoping to lose a bit more than this, so tomorrow will be the start of trying to make myself feel better! More exercise, watch what I eat more carefully and just generally not worry about things so much.

Seen some horrible pics of me from last night, so theres a little bit of motivation to get back on track Don't know when the next big night out is so hoping to have lost quite a bit more by then hehe

 

[_Gizmo_]

So it seems that i'm slipping back into old bad habits. Motivation just went and I need it back! So I have come up with what I hope is the ultimate motivation for me

Sharks are my favourite animal, they're just really fascinating and I love them. My dream job would be to work with them and I'd love to be able to tell people what the sharks are really like. I've managed to find a volunteer place where I would be able to work with Great White Sharks for 3 weeks in South Africa and i'm hoping to be able to go there in April or May 2012. I'm not going to let myself sort any of this out until i've reached my goal weight though! I'd need to start sorting this out around this time next year so this gives me a very big thing to work for. If I don't get to goal, then this won't happen which I don't want lol

Hoping this will work lol

 

[_Gizmo_]

lol, it's the main thing keeping me focused atm. Keep thinking that I should spend the money on getting my own place. But I think I can cope with living with my mum and bro for a few more years lol. Once I get this main trip out of the way then I can move out. Hopefully by then i'll have found someone to move in with lol. It's so expensive to live somewhere atm, just can't afford it. Not sure how I will be able to afford to move out in the future but i'll find someway to cope

Anyway, lost 2lbs this week . Was planning on going to the gym on my days off this weekend. Went yesterday but i've had a really bad headache all day today and not really feeling like going tomorrow -__- Going to try to get rid of the headache with sleep, as I don't want this again tomorrow lol

 

[_Gizmo_]

Thanks

Been naughty and had 3 cans of pepsi max today, oops!! But been good with my eating so not too worried as theres hardly any calories in pepsi max.

I've got 3 weeks at work (including this week) then i'm off for a week Really need the time off to sort my head out and get back into exercise. So going to go to the gym most days and might even take a walk to the beach and stay there for most of the day, just relaxing

Been looking at other volunteer work with animals and found one where I can work with pandas in china. That will be years in the future, but i'd love to go there. I could go volunteer with big cats and monkeys in africa but that wouldn't be as good, as they're all kept in zoos in this country. I'd rather go and work with animals that I wouldn't otherwise get a chance to see. It would be nice to have helped them and also I can tell other people about them which will hopefully help the animals in some way

 

[_Gizmo_]

Urgh, finding things really difficult atm. No energy to do any exercise and i'm not eating as healthy as I would like. Trying to get more fruit and veg in, infact i'll be having a nice stirfry tonight instead of some chips. The last few weeks have been bad for healthiness! lol Haven't gone back to my old eating habits of eating LOADS. I've definately cut down on the amount I eat lol. Just want to get back into being healthy as I do feel better in myself when I eat better. I feel better when I exercise aswell, but can't find the energy to go do it.

Think i'm too stressed with work and general life since I'm tired all the time. I have a week off in less than 3 weeks so will deffo work on all this then. Won't be wanting to sit and do nothing all week, and deffo not spend all day in bed. I really need to get it all sorted aswell as I would have like to have lost a bit more by the time I go to a get together with friends on the 22nd may. At least comfortable fit into my camo trousers which were a tight fit last time I tried them. Eeek, need to get myself back into it all I know I will feel better if I do, just need some more motivation!

 

[_Gizmo_]

Oh and i'm hardly drinking any water, not really drinking much during the day at all. I have pepsi max sometimes aswell. but deffo need to drink more water! which is harder than it sounds! lol

 

[_Gizmo_]

I think the cause of the problems im having is the pill. Ever since I started it i've been having problems with the whole diet exercise thing. Esp since having to change to a different pill with different hormones like 2 weeks after I started taking them. Urgh, stupid hormones lol. Wanna get back to the gym!!! but right now I really don't feel like going lol. Pretty sure i'll have a gain or STS when I weigh in tonight, but that should mean a good one next week so not too bothered. Back to eating better again. Cola is now banned! lol and gonna try to eat more veg and drink lots more water .

Just going to rest with a hot water bottle and play Pokemon on my DS for a few hours lol. In too much pain to do anything else atm, couldn't even take the dog for a long walk. BLAH!!!

 

[_Gizmo_]

Stayed the same this week. Which i'm shocked at because I usually gain weight around this time. Means next week could be a good one I guess.

Managed to go on my stepper for a bit today. Exercising actually makes me feel so much better with myself. Need to do it more often lol. Also need to just stop worrying about anything and I will deffo feel much better lol. Can't do much else but get on with stuff atm. Main thing I need to sort out is forgetting about past relationships and enjoy being single for now! Keep getting upset about them and I shouldn't. I deserve better than those guys really. I just need to stay single for a while. I like it, not having to worry about someone else when I want to do things. When I get in a relationship I tend to give up on what I want and try to do everything to make them happy even if I don't get it back. Kinda worry that I won't find someone else but then again I thought that after every break up and always managed to find someone else. I'll find someone eventually I guess lol.

 

[_Gizmo_]

Well, thinking about cancelling my gym membership now, mainly due to needing to save alot of money and the gym is costing me £20 a month and i've gotta drive there so using petrol, which I wanna save money on aswell. Also getting there is stressful as I have to drive along a road that gets really bad with traffic. Plus I hardly ever go anymore. Only at weekends, when i need to get other things done aswell.

Urgh, do need to exercise but I could probably do it other ways. Like taking the dog for a good long walk or just randomly walking to the beach on my day off lol. I've got a stepper and some weights at home. Could just get myself into a routine of using them when i get up in the morning.

Wish money didn't exist lol. Causes too many problems! plus if I save loads of money I could possibly go to Africa at the end of 2011 instead of sometime during 2012

 

[_Gizmo_]

Lost 3lbs!!! Finally! Feel much better now. I feel as if I've got my motivation back lol

Cancelled the gym. Can find free ways to exercise. 1 more week and then I have a week off. Then I can go for lots of walks and do some workouts at home. at least try to get into a routine.

Also very hyper because I'll be booking my Sonisphere ticket in the next week or so Just going to try not to worry about money from now on and just enjoy life lol. Only live once etc... lol Africa will happen when I can afford to go. Not going to worry about it until next year.

 

[Predator]

Hey Gizmo, awesome loss hun.

I'm so jealous, just read the part about Sonisphere and a part of me died I can't afford to go this year, went last year and it was immenseee, I hope you have a great time!!! x

 

[_Gizmo_]

Thanks

This will be my first festival. Didn't think I would be able to go but i've managed to get the money together. Can't miss a chance to see Rammstein again lol

 

[_Gizmo_]

Still feeling really positive about things Just picked up 9kg worth of dog food to see just how much I have lost. Did not like it!! Glad all that weight has gone! lol still have over 3 times that amount left to lose. I can do it! Wanna get to 3 stone lost by Sonisphere. Then I can buy pretty new clothes and get my hair done just for the festival lol

Think my brain is sorting itself out. Now I think 'do I really need it?' and usually resist. Or I try to drink water to see if that sorts it. Also I feel full alot sooner than I used to. Can't wait until next week then I can really get into a routine of exercising and everything. and relax! lol

 

[Ria.]

Well done! we're around the same height and weight so ive really been spurred on by your positive attitude x

 

[_Gizmo_]

Thanks! Nice to hear that lol Well done on your weight loss! What diet you doing?

So now i'm going out tonight to catch up with a friend who I havent seen in months. Hope she notices!! hehe. Hope I can resist drinking too much. Not going to be drinking alcohol so shouldn't be too bad lol

 

[Ria.]

Thanks! Nice to hear that lol Well done on your weight loss! What diet you doing?

So now i'm going out tonight to catch up with a friend who I havent seen in months. Hope she notices!! hehe. Hope I can resist drinking too much. Not going to be drinking alcohol so shouldn't be too bad lol

No diet, just exercise and sensible eating. i was 18 stone 4lb though so was huge to start with :| lol

 

[_Gizmo_]

Sounds similar to what im doing then. Don't think I could cope with a proper diet lol! Need chocolate!! lol Looks like you've been doing great with it Wish I could have lost more by now but i've not been exercising as much, need to get back into that soon! lol

 

[Ria.]

exercise is the winner for me i think. i still have chocolate, just once a week if im good, especially love the malteasers x

 

[_Gizmo_]

Lol, i haven't had malteasers since easter. I think I have chocolate every day lol In the form of chocolate digestives or mikado. If I want a bar of chocolate I usually go for the little 20p type bars. Just over 100 calories. Much better than the bigger bars and still as yummy lol Could probably do better if I cut chocolate down a lot more but I'll leave that until im nearer my goal and am struggling to lose the weight I think lol

Probably shouldnt have canceled the gym but Im quite happy going out for walks. Just parked outside of town tonight and walked in and back. Probably worked off the calories from the 2 glasses of coke that I had. Don't think I'll be going out after work on a night where i'm working the next day again. Waaaay too tired now lol. I miss the days where I could go out drinking until 4am and have to go to college at 9am lol. Changed so much since then. Eeeek. Then again im kinda glad i'm not drinking so much lol.

 

[_Gizmo_]

Thought I might aswell add a new pic now that I've got to about 1 and half stone lost. Still hate the before pic but meh, makes me want to lose the weight lol. Think the top in the before pic is a size 20, and the top in the now pic is a size 16. I've gone from a size 20 to size 18 jeans since the before pic aswell. Makes me feel better lol. Just wish I could notice the loss more lol.

I'm trying to think of a good design for my next tattoo which I will get when I get to 10st and am happy with how my body is. This one has to be about the weight loss and i'm not sure how to do it. Wanna get the rammstein logo in there since i love them and went to see them just before I started losing weight and now I'll be seeing them at the end of july which is giving me loads of motivation to lose weight. Maybe going have some stars showing the amount of weight i've lost. Will think of other ways to make it look awesome. It's going to be on my hip/side, which is going to be painful but worth it and will hopefully show me that I need to keep control of my weight, coz if I don't, the tattoo will be ruined lol.