Hello all! It's been ages since I have posted! I have wanted to post for ages but just not got round to it. I do wish I had posted more as I do really like reading back on my posts, particularly when I am struggling. As you can see I had a gain week 25. I did want to post then but felt like a failure. I wish I had posted as it would have shown the honesty in the struggles we have. So I have been on step 2. I started on week 21 so feel like I've done it for a chunk of time. My weigh day is Monday so we had gone out with friends on the Saturday night and I had planned to have the chicken salad which I did, I then ended up having a few bread and dips and though eff it - I've ruined it!! I had the salad - it was not very nice and so I was disappointed. We then ended up going for desert and I had some of hubby's desert and then came home and ended up eating junk. The Sunday we ended up taking the kids out to eat at a restaurant after swimming and I i rather than just eating and enjoying - I ate till I was feeling sick, I popped into see a friend and had some cake which was the loaf supermarket cake that is no big deal whatsoever!!! I have no idea what I was doing - clearly it was binge restrict cycle. Then Monday I weight, gained 4.4. Then on the Monday we went to soft play with friends, I was hoping to stay on plan, but because I had one hob nob bar at 100 calories - I thought sack it! And proceeded to eat another bloody four, then thought sack it, its bank holiday monday - and we went out to eat again and i literally ate till i was sick, Made hubby stop on the way home so I could get a cuppa tea and brought treats (and ate them in hiding), I didnt even enjoy it!! I was eating it till I was sick! I then actually weighed in on the Tuesday and was 10st 6.4lb at this point so gained 4,2lb overnight. I didn;t speak to my consultant much during this period due to the shame, but I did end up reaching out and being honest. I didnt end up sending my Monday weight in to her (the gain) but later in the week with her encouragement I did. She was keen for me to just step up up to step 3 but I didnt feel like it, and on my own back I did a mix of step 1 and 2 for the next 6 days where I lost all my gain and a tiny bit more, then stepped up to step 2 and lost a whopping 3.6lbs this week.
I really didn't want to step up up to step 3 this week but after a week of seriously overthinking, talking to my best mate about what I should do, I decided to step up and given this weeks awesome loss, it is definitely the right choice. Also I think given that I am older, I'm not too bothered about how 'skinny' I get and I am happy with my size at the moment. I have just shy of 6lbs to goal, my issue with lipotrim in the past was I never did the 'refeeding' step so could never manage maintenance, so I definitely want to prioritise giving the time and energy and focus to stepping up. I do want to maybe post more on here as I step up to navigate my emotions around food, so hopefully I will try and maybe post a little more regualry as I step up. It is Eid on Sunday, so I plan to stick to step 3 till at least Saturday and I'm not sure if I want to stay on plan or have a off plan day Sunday. To be fair I could stay on plan, the food isnt an issue, I just want to eat all the sweet foods and deserts etc so if i go of plan, it's purely to enjoy that! I'm not sure - I will cross that bridge later in the week. What I have realised is that it is just food and it isnt even worth it half. the time!!
So weight ins are below. Here's to step 3!! Already had a 500 cal bowl of granola, yoghurt and fruit and it was utterrly divine - and on plan!!! I will have a mejdool date and 2 of my cambridge products later. Hoping to stay in control with food. I also am starting a 6 week fitness journey as of today so that is super exciting! 6 weeks till the summer holiday. I'd love to be at goal by then and either at step 5 or dare I say maintenance calories. Not sure if I will get to maintenance calories by then but then again you never know. you have to do a minimum of 2 weeks on each step, so step 3 is 1000 cals, step 4 is 1200, Step 5 is 1500 and step 6 in maintenance cals. We will see what step 3 brings up. Cant quite believe I'm at 5 stone loss!!!! Feels EPIC!!! It's been 6 months on plan
For anyone reading this, I really hope I can be some sort of inspiration that you can do anything you set your mind too
Week 22: - 3.4 (10st 1.4)
Week 23: - 1.6 (9st 13.8)
Week 24: - 2.0 (9st 11.8)
Week 25: +4.4 (10st 2.2)
Week 26: - 5.8 (9st 11.4)
Week 27: - 3.6 (9st 7.8)
Current Weight 9st 7.8 (BMI 23.0)
Total lost: 5st 2.5 lbs