Head screwed on again. I can do this!!!

[KD]

Thanks V. I have pm'd you

Shock, horror No. 1
I couldn't find this thread!!! Usually sits at the top of maintainer forum, but thanks to flowers contribution here, it dropped right down :clap:

Shock, horror No. 2
My head is finally getting back into the right place again.

I gained 4lbs over Christmas and op time. Yep, I know...it's nothing really, but I was concerned about my attitude more than the weight. I really couldn't care about the 4lbs. I put on that before when I went to Canada for 2 weeks, but came home knowing I could get it off again....looking forward to getting back into the routine etc....and it worked!

But at the beginning of Dec, I just turned I went from really thinking that this maintaining lark was very possible, to thinking that it was a prison sentence, that I couldn't possibly do it, that it was going to be no different to any other time I had lost weight...just that I'd maintained for longer this time.

It was really getting me down, because I know that attitude is everything. I have done so much head work learning how to stop binges, hunger level, foods that make me feel good. How to enjoy good foods more than crap stuff (yep...had to work on that!), yet that would all be in vain if I couldn't celebrate it...see the positives from it.

fortunately it didn't send me headfirst into the fridge. The 4lbs gain happened early December, but I managed to reluctantly pull back. See...I think I have really got my head around the food issues :clap: but it isn't much fun when you get into a state of mania thinking your can't do this and it all feels like a trial

I had days that felt fine, head on...though wobbling precariously. Even then it just didn't feel right. Didn't feel 'as before'. I was just waiting for it to fall off again and was having to work through all my thoughts again whenever I wanted to eat.

I felt like I was at the beginning of maintenance, but without the excitement of the challenge and the novelty factor.

This last 2 days have been great. It just feels right again. It feels firmly screwed on.

I really know I can do this. It's not a 'think' anymore (I don't think it is anyway )

 

[Barb]

Of course it isn't KD! It's just that you are human, like the rest of us and sometimes things that are normally 'easy' become almost impossible.
You have done an amazing amount of headwork and I think you will still be doing it when you are 90. You keep on learning, if you have an open mind that is, which you very definately do.

In a totally mad way I find your self questioning comforting! If KD, who is so knowledgable, so commited, so fantastic can have a few rubbish days, then so can i. It's not that I'm being pathetic, it's normal.

Two and a half years of being slim and staying slim is a remarkable achievement KD. Maybe you need to acknowledge that to yourself occasionally. You ARE living the dream you know. You DO inspire others to believe it is possible, me included.

Glad you are coming out of that dark cloud that has been sat above you. You deserve to be well and happy and not have rotten things to cope with like operations, work, teeth etc...

Take care of yourself.

Lots of love

 

[KD]

In a totally mad way I find your self questioning comforting!

That's good. I don't want to scare people off maintenance though, but it's boring (and untrue) to talk about it all being easy.

Perhaps some people do find it easier than others. Age...long time on diet....big eating disorders....broken brain.... There are times when it easy though, but then the scary times come.

If KD, who is so knowledgable, so commited, so fantastic can have a few rubbish days,

Few days? Lets call it a couple of months of head getting lost. Can't believe I still managed to control the food...even though head made me fight it.

No depression or anything....just fighting the demons it all the way...and reluctantly. So relieved to be back on form :clap:

 

[Barb]

But KD, if it was that long and you've come out the other side without piling on the weight, surely that just shows how very far you have come! You are in control, your head just has to get used to the idea and I rather think it very nearly has.

Well done, you are living proof that it can be done. You don't say it's easy and I'm glad you don't. Nothing worth having ever is!

Love

 

[Delli]

KD ur such an inspiration to the rest of us, if anyone can do it, u can!

 

[KD]

But KD, if it was that long and you've come out the other side without piling on the weight, surely that just shows how very far you have come! You are in control, your head just has to get used to the idea and I rather think it very nearly has.

I'm so pleased I didn't put on more. I really think I have cracked the old food issues. I was very bothered that I couldn't lose it though. I am a terrible dieter. Promised myself I wouldn't diet again, and this time the 4lbs didn't come straight off, because I just couldn't get the head right to eat less. Yes...that's dieting, but the way I did it before was just by concentrating on what I was eating etc etc. I just couldn't do it. Was feeling so negative about it.

I know it's 4lbs, but if I can't lose it, then it's another 4lbs next holiday, then another.
I've got to be able to lose it by having my head straight, by making choices that I want to make...not have to make. That's where I struggled this time.

I was disappointed with myself and more importantly, I just couldn't see that it was going to change.

KD ur such an inspiration to the rest of us, if anyone can do it, u can!

thankyou:thankyou: I'd turn it around a bit though. If I can do it...the rest of you can

 

[canireallydothis!!]

Just done a big PM and then found this, have to shoot and make tea but WELL DONE, getcha head in the game!!!!!!!!!! High school musical look out!!!

 

[blue_grapefruit]

Da iawn cariad, knew you'd sort yourself out. Glad you did cos i was about to come over there and kick your ass matey! You look teeny weeny in your pic and i reckon i could take you on no problem (plus, now you think i'm your grandmother reincarnated you are terrified of me!)

Maintenence being a prison sentence sounds about right - don't want to get to goal cos i'm terrified of it all going back on

 

[KD]

You look teeny weeny in your pic

Yep....2 inches by 1. Weight = 1957 bytes and I come in a jpg format

Probably and i reckon i could take you on no problem

Okay...so you are aware that I am an ex-judo and self defence instructor. 2nd dan black belt. and competed in the England championships??

(plus, now you think i'm your grandmother reincarnated you are terrified of me!)

Fairy nuff....you win

 

[KD]

Today's menu

Breakfast: Had sweet potato with sugar and cinnamon (I do love cinnamon). Sometimes if the oven is on, I put in a couple of sweet pots to cook. When they are soft and cooled, I put them in the fridge for anyone who wants one cold or would like to zap it in the microwave for a moment.

Lunch: So cold here. Downstairs hasn't got any radiators at the moment except for the music room....(taken off for plasterer and two aren't working) I'm frozen

I had a Baxters Spicy tom and rice soup, but an hour later found myself wandering into the kitchen again.

Looked at the bag of fun size maltesers. Yeah, they'll warm me Passed on that. Ate a white choc aero mousse. Yummy and only 108 calories Didn't warm me though

Started wondering if I should just have dinner and see if that helped Ummm, no...looking forward to that for this evening. Then my mind decided that what I really needed was something hot and stodgy. Well, it would wouldn't it

Lightbulb moment

I do love chopped apple with sugar and cinnamon (yeah again) and that's hot.

So easy to connect food with feelings isn't it. Cold, so need hot stodge. The hot apple did the job just aswell and I love it, so why not

Dinner: Plan is 3 chipolata sausages, with a concoction of pots, swede and carrot and cabbage (all mashed together), mixed veg, spinach and loads of gravy.

Off this afternoon to chose a carpet. Blue or 'natural' Hate making decisions

 

[Barb]

Natural - blue is a cold colour and you are feeling cold so not a good idea at all. Also blue can make you feel a bit, well, um, blue!

You wouldn't consider red would you? Only I'm very partial to red or perhaps orange? Yes, lets go with orange, you know you'll like it once you are used to it. Now, are we thinking plain or patterened? Plain looks smart and makes the room look bigger but it does show every mark. How messy are you? Quite messy I suspect, so i think we should go with a pattern. Doesn't have to be too 'busy' just a light speckle or similar. There, thats sorted, anything else you want done?

 

[KD]

Natural - blue is a cold colour and you are feeling cold so not a good idea at all. Also blue can make you feel a bit, well, um, blue!

Yes, but I've gone sort of blue mad

You wouldn't consider red would you?

I did consider that. I was going to get this red gloss furniture. It was really nice. Very contemporary. Then I got scared

The room is quite small, very dark (no natural light). We found this 'light and space' paint that supposedly makes the room lighter and bigger, so we're going to do the walls in that when the plaster dries. I wanted boring cream. The men want a hint of aqua. So will do the walls in that and the skirting boards in a darker colour. Doors and ceiling white.

We have had the picture rail raised. We had to keep it as we have curved ceilings.

The suite (which hasn't come yet) is in a very dark navy blue, so everything else needs to be light. We have a good suite here; dark green leather reclining, but it's too big. Going for 2 2 seaters. Ended getting navy because it was the only one for the price that was 2 seater recliners which I like. So the colours have to go with that.

The furniture is in Germany being made. Not due until march. It's beech. Very nice though.

A new plasma fire coming on Thursday

Now, are we thinking plain or patterened? Plain looks smart and makes the room look bigger but it does show every mark.

Very true. Have plain carpet in my music room, but it's not too much of a problem as we have a robotic vacuum that sorts it. I don't want to go too light though. Not with the men and all their friends who aren't good at taking shoes off before entering

How messy are you? Quite messy I suspect,

My music room, both here and at school are manically tidy and organised. The men make the mess (again). Not in my music room though. Not allowed in there, except DS2 to play the piano. I'm not very house proud, but mainly because housework bores me, but I hate it untidy even though I put up with it because I prefer to sit on my arse after work

so i think we should go with a pattern. Doesn't have to be too 'busy' just a light speckle or similar.

Yes. That sounds good :clap: I'll see what's in the shop.

There, thats sorted, anything else you want done?

You wouldn't come and put some glass in the internal doors would you We have had a sliding door replace between living room and breakfast room. The frame has been put in, but no glass yet. I can walk through the gaps though which is great. One less door to open

Have to wake up DH at 3:00 so will go together and find speckled carpet. Cheers Barb

 

[canireallydothis!!]

KD said ARSE!!!!!! Im gonna tell

 

[KD]

I shall go and wash my mouth out with some brandy V

Went to the carpet shop. Amazing how many different shades of beige there are

I looked for a speckled one, but there wasn't much choice and they were either too ginger or too dark.

Got a plainish one. Quite pleased. Good quality and reduced from £70 per square meter to £29.99 psm. Not that I really believed it was £70 psm meself

Will arrive in two weeks. Everything going quite well

The room looks awful at the moment with the dark ginger walls where it's just been plastered. We told DS2's girlfriend that we have painted it that colour and asked if she like it. It was a very quiet "yes". Bless.

Radiator is back on temporarily as I've been so cold today.

Dinner was lovely. 9 different veg Is that a binge?

 

[canireallydothis!!]

NINE!!!!!!!!!!!!! OMG, thats so funny!!! I dont think I can name 9 veg!!

erm, peas, swede, potato, cabbage, cauli, broccoli, erm courgette, oooh, erm, go on, tell me more!!!

 

[KD]

Oh, I bet you can V.

Today with my sausages and mash, I had

Sweetcorn
Shredded cabbage
Mashed carrots
Mashed swede
peas
Leeks
And a baked mixture of
Sweet pots
onion
Peppers
Mushrooms

Not a great amount of each one, but enough to half fill the plate.

Hang on....that's makes 10 doesn't it? Twas lovely :clap:

 

[canireallydothis!!]

sounds delightful, and for my tea I had an omelette! red onion and bacon, v nice, until I flipped it, then it was like an eggy mess!!

 

[KD]

Whoops V. Scrambled egg eh.

I know people that cook their omelettes in ziploc bags. Works well evidently.

Think I'll stick to my frying pan

 

[Isis]

KD said ARSE!!!!!! Im gonna tell

PMSL.....well spotted Vicky!!!!!!

 

[Isis]

Oh, I bet you can V.

Today with my sausages and mash, I had

Sweetcorn
Shredded cabbage
Mashed carrots
Mashed swede
peas
Leeks
And a baked mixture of
Sweet pots
onion
Peppers
Mushrooms

Not a great amount of each one, but enough to half fill the plate.

Hang on....that's makes 10 doesn't it? Twas lovely :clap:

Do think there may be some flatulence issues to deal with later KD?