Help needed for 1st day......

[sparty]

Argh our boys are nightmares lol. It's horrible because last night we were both having a lovely giggle and mucking about. It's been ages since we have been silly and had a laugh so it's just a shame that this happened

Maybe I went too far by going on and on til he actually left but I'm sick of having to be the responsible one that considers the consequences of everything. Sometimes I just want him to step up and realise that he can't act like this just because he can't be bothered to go to work. Does he think I want to get up at half 6 every morning!? But I do it and go to work early so that he can be at work on time. Just makes me mad!

I have calmed down now and I won't hold a grudge. Not sure if he will lol. I got plenty done in the end despite our rubbish computers lol. I didn't do great SW wise as I tend to head for choc when I'm angry or upset so today is a write off.

I have made tuna pasta bake for lunches so that is sorted for the rest of the week as long as I do EE. I'm going to make chicken tomorrow night for dinner I think. I found a recipe in an old SW mag for breaded chicken so think that's what I'll do nothing like a plan to get back on track lol.

I was looking through some old pics earlier and came across some of me on holiday with friends a few years ago in a bikini. At the time I probably hated myself but I looked amazing!! It was nice to see my body and be like 'wow' and I hope it spurs me on to tone up and drop some pounds before I go away this summer!! So tomorrow I am doing the shred again. I'm going to try for three days per week and see how get on

 

[xmisskx]

oooh i admire your determination lady!

when i was at the football tonight, i was telling the coach that my wee one won't be going anymore cos he'll be too old for that group, he mentioned a box circuits thing on a wed night for half an hour...but it's for the kids and parents if they want to go too!

my little one mentioned boxing ( i was thinking, you cry at a scraped knee sometimes and you want to box!! lol) so if i can get his swimming changed, i might look into it....for him mainly cos he needn't think the football finishes and he can sit on his ar$e all the time, but maybe i'd like it too? its only half an hr and he said you get a good work out cos its interval stuff.
i'm so unfit, like really, and as you know, i'm not a fan of exercising...but maybe it's what i need?

will find out more about it but thought it would be nice for me and teeny to try something together?
there's an older football thing he could go to but he's put off now and i think its cos the one he goes to now is from age 5 up...so there are a few wee ones who muck about and it bugs him...but it's hard to explain he'd probably like the older one cos it wouldn't have the same problems with them having to stop and start cos the wee ones are mucking about,

it's so funny cos it's not real football...but they think they're david beckham! lol, you can imagine them ALL chasing and following the ball to each end of the hall instead of some watching their goals and looking out for a chance to score etc hehe

hopefully your OH doesn't drag things out too long...i totally agree with you tho...and hey, he'd soon get the picture if you were off long term, or not getting paid and solely reliant on his wage!

MEN...grrrr! x

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[sparty]

Ooh I like the idea of you doing something with teeny and I'm sure half an hour won't be too bad!? I bet that after a few weeks you wouldn't find it as difficult as the first week.

Why don't you see if you can give it a try for one session and see how you get on!?

I think women always give themselves a hard time about how they look in a swim suit and it was really nice today to see a picture and like what I see. I know I can get back to that as well so I might print a picture out and pop it on the fridge or something as a reminder of what I'm aiming for!

 

[xmisskx]

you're right...it is nice to like what we see in pics...there's only one from last year that i think is "ok" but i look back at ones from years ago when i'd lost all the weight the 1st time and i think god...what were you freaking out about!
i can remember looking in the mirror and being repulsed and being so paranoid about rolls of skin when i sat down...the bloody bones were sticking out me ffs...what was i thinking! lol

i think we could maybe give it a try before i try to move his swimming..then we can see if he likes it...and bonus if i do.
he can go with/without me but i can't go myself so maybe we could give it a bash?

i've got a dodgy back though so would need to watch/ask if i need to be careful?

i've just made some fruit salad with yog/scan bran cake through and it's going down well..prob the nicest thing i've eaten all day (although the pizza with the tikka was pretty tasty)
glad today has been a good one re food...i realised last night how easy it would be to eat the way i used to and without realising it, pile away thousands of calories a day on rubbish! x

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[sparty]

I'm sure they can adapt the exercises to help with your back. You might find that exercise eases it anyway!? I'd give it a try and if you don't like it then it's no big deal.

I managed to get on a train this morning so obviously they sorted themselves out from yesterday. Bf slept on the sofa last night - think he is trying to make a point but I had a great nights sleep so not sure he got what he wanted lol.

I've thought about my food today so there should be no reason not to stick to plan! Hope you have a good day hun.

 

[xmisskx]

lol...i would keep that part to yourself..about the good sleep - unless you use it as a b1tchy remark hehe

i wanted to do red again today, but i forgot to take meat out the freezer last night. i've just taken a chicken breast out....dunno if it will be fully thawed by dinner time...will give it a bash anyway. failing that, i have other choices i guess.

hope work's ok for you today x

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[sparty]

Did you end up with red yesterday in the end!?

I have woken up soooo tired! Me and bf both had an extra half hours sleep so I'll probably be a bit late for work now lol. Think I'll def be in bed early tonight!!

Bf was in a strop during the day yesterday but when I got home I just acted normal and everything is fine now lol. We never hold grudges and when we do fight, it's always over with quickly thankfully.

EE for me again today so got tuna pasta bake for lunch and dinner is going to be paella with chicken and chorizo. I'm going to make a big pan of it and hopefully get some lunch portions. I'll have to try and limit my chorizo though because of the syns. I will also have to double check how many syns as well. I have 170g of it so I expect once portioned up it won't be that bad.

What's on for you today?

 

[xmisskx]

Morning

Went EE yesterday, had a sausage sandwich for lunch and chicken and veg fried rice for dinner. Got some left for lunch today minus the chicken so green today as I took quorn chilli out the freezer

Made quiche with a pasta and sauce base yest...first time in ages so that'll be good for a wee change to snack on

Glad to hear you's are ok now, I'm also shattered as I didn't sleep well...a thousand things running thru my head after words with my ex so feeling a bit touchy this morning
Aww well eh!

Just leaving soon but have a good day x

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[sparty]

Ahh hun nothing too bad with the ex I hope!? I guess that's teeny's dad? Hard to break up when there are children involved I suppose but teeny is clearly very well loved by his mum so don't beat yourself up if you aren't civil with his dad. As long as teeny is happy you should ignore your ex - after all he is your ex for a reason!!

Today was a good day syn wise. I had the paella and didn't use all the chorizo in the end as there was loads. So I had about 3 syns worth tonight and finished the day on 12 syns. Not feeling the need for anything else but could still have an alpen bar if I change my mind.

How was your day?

 

[xmisskx]

my day's been ok thanks...a bit emotional through stuff and lack of sleep but held it together lol, think if anyone had said the wrong thing or been overly nice, i might've bubbled...enjoyed my food all day and had either fruit or veg...or both with each meal
finished on 9.5 syns in total...gonna have a noney monster stick just now as me last part of a HEb then head to bed.

oh he's my ex for a reason alright...but it's hard...i definitely play the game well for my little one to see i mean, but it's not always done on that side and it breaks my heart that he has to kind of become 2 people...one at home with me and then whatever he needs to be like with him.
in a sense it would be so much easier if there was no contact at all...but that would be for my own selfish reasons (if you get what i mean) but the only bonus is teeny doesn't know any different...we've always been apart so he's used to his routine and thinks it's normal.

i just can't win...no matter what i do and i spend most of my time NOT saying anything to avoid drama and avoid me getting stressed out over it, to avoid the wee one hearing silly things etc...but in the mean time, i feel like i just do as i'm told, or stand there and take it.
it took me a long time to realise that i was the only one suffering and i waste so much energy on things i can't change so i don't react cos it's pointless and i try my best to always talk myself out of the analysing that i do way too much! it must be great being perfect though that's all i can say!
everything i've ever said or not said has been for my son's benefit and i swear to god i better get my good karma back for it at some point lol

i know it won't last forever and really, it just plays in to my hands cos he'll NEVER be able to say (when he's older) oh my mum bad mouthed him bla bla..but the older he gets, he's starting to notice things and hear things about me that upset him...i never react, i just say well, we're all different, people think different or maybe it was meant like this or that...but it's so hard

not to worry...i'm hoping i settle better tonight but it has a pattern so once it eats away at me for a while, i'll be ok...and then something will be said again - same old cycle and really, we're just different...we don't really communicate apart from when i'm getting told what's happening...or what i've not to do, or what he's not to wear etc and it's just the principle of things that bugs me.

all i can hope is that my baby grows up to be strong enough to be who he wants, and to accept that people are different and have good morals and lots of respect...that's my aim...and he's a good boy..but i know he'll have to play the part at times too (don't we all) i just hope he's strong enough to not be influenced by idiotic things or "think" he wants to do/not do something when really, the thoughts aren't his at all!

your paella sounds good, i really enjoyed my leftover fried rice at lunch, but there was only a wee drop and i was convinced it would fill me...it didn't but thankfully i didn't use biscuits or badness to help with the rumbling tummy

you ok today? busy day at work?x

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[sparty]

Work has been lovely recently. Nice and steady but not frantic and it looks like that move to other work could start from next week so I'm looking forward to a new challenge.

I feel a little less tired this morning but to be honest I'm just looking forward to Saturday so I don't have to get up early. I have got stuff on this weekend but should at least get a few extra hours sleep Saturday. Not sure I can say the same about bf though as looks like he will be working. He has worked every night this week to finish a private job after he gets in from his main job (prob as a result of the row we had Monday) and he is shattered. Hopefully he can have a night off tomorrow night and get it finished Saturday.

Your ex sounds like a charmer!! Trust yourself - you are doing a great job with him! I know it's really hard to take criticism from an ar$ehole but just switch off when he is talking and nod. That's what I would do. You are right not to bad mouth him in front of teeny and one day he will realise who is acting properly and who is just being nasty for the sake of it. It's hard for me to offer any ideas or help as I don't have children but I do know you are doing your best so don't fret about things you can't control (like his idiot dad!) just spend your time with him doing fun and happy things

I'm being taken out for lunch today by my boss (because we were too busy to go at xmas) and I've already looked at the menu and chose a salmon Niçoise salad. I'm going to ask for no olives and dressing on the side. So I am also not having my usual crisps and cereal bar to use up syns at lunch so I am going to get a skinny cappuccino on my way to work as a treat instead. This month I haven't spent much on myself as I'm desperately trying to get out of my overdraft and pay off my credit card (which I had to cancel the other day due to fraudulent activity - just what I needed!!!).

 

[xmisskx]

Oh god! What happened...did they spend anything on your acc?

Getting a treat eh....hmmm...'bout time me thinks
If you have the salad at lunch, does that spare using a HEB?

When are you working in the butchers again?
What a shame for you OH, mines is the same when he finishes work, if he has stuff to do for his wee bit self employment then it's straight to that...gotta embrace it while the work is there eh

Slept til 3 then was awake for ages and struggled to get up but at least I'm making progress lol

Just leaving for work but hope you have a good day and enjoy your lunch x

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[sparty]

yeah they set up a recurring payment of £99.99 for some holiday discount members club. Lucky I spotted it as I check everything recently since I am trying to get myself sorted money wise. The credit card company have blocked this company and are investigating it. Hopefully it will all be ok in the end.

Yep I dont need a hex A or B for lunch. I used my hexa for the coffee this morning (it said for starbucks it was 5 or 6 syns so I am just counting it as a whole hexa) and hexb has been cereal bars for brekkie I am trying something new for dinner tonight - a BNS stuffed with chicken and rice. Hopefully it turns out ok. Bf may not like it so if he doesnt he can have some leftover paella instead

 

[xmisskx]

oh god...what a nightmare!
that would stress me right out!

how was your lunch? x

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[sparty]

Lunch was lovely in the end although I nearly caved in and had sea bass. But I stood firm and the salmon salad was lovely. I had one tablespoon of dressing (2) and even had pudding of fruits of the forest and meringue nest (no cream - 4 syns). Had a lovely time.

Last nights stuffed BNS was nice too. I've leftovers for lunch as bf opted for the leftover paella instead lol. So predictable!

Going for a Chinese tonight round a friends house and have worked out some syns for the dishes they want to order so think I should be ok if I stick to it. I checked syns online and my friend checked the food directory but syns seem to vary on some things which is odd! I also am driving so no wine syns for me!

What's your plan today hun?

 

[xmisskx]

oh you were good at lunch...sticking to plan and enjoying yourself = win win

not sure on my plan today...i'm heading out now and might weigh this morning which i know is a week short of what i'd planned, but we've got the wedding this weekend, star week is due on tuesday and i've got a party next week on thurs/fri which will no doubt have stuff i'll end up eating...it's a work thing and i suppose if i wanted to behave, i could ask for leave to miss the whole thing lol

i'm not sure if i should weigh to either get the boost i need and say right, lets keep going the way you have been (even though i've not been 100% the whole time) or whether to say right lady, get your finger out!?

have you managed to get one of those BNS salads from tesco yet?

re the chinese...i heard chicken chow mein had jumped to 16 syns from 7?? that's lot eh!

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[sparty]

yeah I saw that about chicken chow mein - crazy the difference in my opinion. Something went very wrong there in their caluclations! I have looked up syns for special chow mein (11 i think), beef in black bean sauce (5), chicken with spring onion and ginger (a similar dish said 5 but i am counting 7 to be safe), prawn crackers (1.5 for 5 crackers), Vermicelli noodles (cant remember how many this was and I left my diary at home). But anyway I will be having only a third of all these dishes (and I wont have any of anything else they order) and i worked out that i will be on 12 syns if I stick to it! I am using it as a guide but I know its an inexact science. I am keeping the rest of the day syn free as well.

I think it seems sensible to weigh today given how many things you have coming up - you can use it as motivation to be as good as possible during your busy period so that when you next weigh hopefully the results will be good. I would weigh if it was me - but dont let it be an excuse to go off track if you dont get the result you want!!

I havent seen the BNS salad's actually - we dont usually shop in tesco and i never think to look in the tesco metro one near my office. will have to pop in one morning and see if I can find it

 

[sparty]

Hey Hun. How was your weekend?

 

[xmisskx]

hey you

eurgh! is it monday already! lol

the wedding went well...was a lovely day, great to see some old faces and to spend some proper time with my OH.

i weighed on friday and had a STS...knowing that i haven't been 100% for the whole 3 weeks, i can't complain - of course i did want even a wee loss, but at least i didn't face a gain the weeks in between - probably had a loss, a gain then a loss again?
anyway, back to better foods today, dahl loaf is made, big pot of quorn chilli with lots of veg and used most of it to make a pasta bake which i will eat today, tomorrow for lunch and then either the next day or a freezer portion?

been thinking a lot about the sw plan over the weekend. i think its fab that it encourages healthy eating and food optimising but lately, i've been thinking about calories.
i just think it's madness that one day i might've used all my syns and have none left to use...but that it's ok to demolish a packet of pasta n sauce cos it's "free"

i've started planning my food for work tomorrow and if i was following a 1500 cals a day rule, i've not even planned in my HE's or dinner and i only have 400 odd cals left!

i think there needs to be a happy medium and i'm not sure if i should try calorie counting as well as sw?

i think sw leaves it open to food abuse...100% i could food abuse and not feel guilty cos the foods are on the free list....but all those free foods have calories and if i'm eating 2000 a day...no wonder i'm maintaining!

i know it boils down to choice and the types of foods we pick on sw....but obviously we (I) factor in foods which are convenient for work, filling and of course, syn free!

if the rice, fruit and yog i have has say 300 calories in it, why is it not ok to have had other stuff, for less calories just because they're not on the free foods list?

aww i dunno...i love the no measuring and counting etc...but like i say, there needs to be a happy medium! it's ok to eat 5 muller yogs at 100 calories each, or mughshots galore for 250 each...but yet i'd have to syn nuts and seeds (if i didn't want to use a HEb) and your avocado the other week is a prime example! these are foods that are much more healthy for us than processed, sweetener laden foods...for our body i mean.

re the salad from tesco, there's more chance you'd get it from a tesco metro...my big store doesn't have them but the smaller one at my OH's work does so might be worth a look (so worth the 255 cals! lol)

how was your weekend? anything exciting to report?x

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[sparty]

ahh i am glad that you enjoyed the wedding - i do love a good wedding what was the food like?

do you know I do actually agree with what you are saying...I don't like the idea of stuffing myself full of processed things like pasta n sauce just because they are free and I do think that calories must play a factor somewhere. Although maybe the superfree rules try to counteract this by steering people towards lower calorie food - but there is a big assumption here that people will be full up from their square meals and not snack in between (or at least snack on superfree/free food).

There are lots of people who calorie count as well as SW but like you have said, it brings in the weighing and measuring that is so tedious. I have also known people to drive themselves crazy trying to do the two plans at once so I would just urge a little caution as well if you are going to do it. Do you eat a lot of processed food etc at the moment? You could try to cut some of those things out and increase your fruit, veg and salad to see if that makes any difference? It would certainly reduce the calories you are eating (and i bet it makes you feel better in terms of bloating etc as well).

I have been thinking about maybe doing 5:2 as well as SW to give myself a low calorie day or two but i am undecided at the moment. For now I think I will just try to carry on as best as I can without it ruling my life lol. Lost 1/4 of a pound this morning (sounds hardly worth recording but my scales are accurate down to 1/4 lbs lol).

its a shame you didnt see a loss but maybe it is simply due to the fact that you havent been on plan. If you were on plan it is likely you would have shifted a pound or two i think. Try and have a really good week this week (or is that not possible with your commitments?) and weigh again next week to see if it has made a difference.