How did your family react to the new you?

[AnnaFaraday]

Yeah a bit. My sister and her family call me anorexic now, yet my bmi is 24.5 to 25. On the very top end of normal. I got the "you dont want to lose any more now" after about five stone. You'll get the "you are starting to look gaunt" as well.

I am sure a bit of it is jealousy but some of it genuine concern. Its an instinctive thing to associate rapid change with bad things. In this case, rapid weight loss is often a sign of a serious illness.

Every doctor ive mentioned my weight loss to, has looked very concerned, until i add it was intentional. People are used to you looking a certain way. Also, when your face is puffed out, all those imperfections are all puffed, but lose the weight and they start to show up.

It can also take a while for your face to grow into the new you. I do like playing the "guess how much ive lost" game.

People just don't like change. They see a change in your appearance and think that it means that you will change as a person. It makes them feel insecure.

But to call you "anorexic" is cruel and wicked, to my mind. It is not a word that should be used in that way.

 

[Supermaiden]

I have been really lucky so far in that my family totally support me and tell me how well I have done/am doing. My problem is people at work, they were all fine with me when I was big but after I hit 4st lost it all went downhill to the point where Im leaving. Very sad.

 

[AnnaFaraday]

I have been really lucky so far in that my family totally support me and tell me how well I have done/am doing. My problem is people at work, they were all fine with me when I was big but after I hit 4st lost it all went downhill to the point where Im leaving. Very sad.

Have you told them why you are leaving?

 

[sexyfiredragon]

I have been really lucky so far in that my family totally support me and tell me how well I have done/am doing. My problem is people at work, they were all fine with me when I was big but after I hit 4st lost it all went downhill to the point where Im leaving. Very sad.

Thats sad!

 

[natcat]

I have been really lucky so far in that my family totally support me and tell me how well I have done/am doing. My problem is people at work, they were all fine with me when I was big but after I hit 4st lost it all went downhill to the point where Im leaving. Very sad.

But why? I dont understand?

 

[gazter]

I have been really lucky so far in that my family totally support me and tell me how well I have done/am doing. My problem is people at work, they were all fine with me when I was big but after I hit 4st lost it all went downhill to the point where Im leaving. Very sad.

Thats really sad. Im sorry to hear it. Weight can be the one thing in peoples lives they cant control. It doesnt matter how rich you are, how successful, how many people you have under you, how talented you are, none of that helps you control your weight. All the riches in the world cant make you slim.

Losing four stone (congratulations by the way), is for some people, like winning the lottery, it can be as life changing. Seeing people change like that can build up resentment. Especially if you were the fattest one in the work space. It would be a case of, well im a bit chubby, but thats alright, supermaiden over there is dead fat.

 

[talisha]

Thanks for starting this thread, really interesting to hear about everyone's experiences.
Haters gonna hate ladies so keep your head high and your thoughts on your goal

Have had mixed reviews as well mostly positive, especially from my boo and my mum.
My other half's mum however seems a little sceptical and she tries to adapt her cooking but then ends up adding a splash of milk here or a splash of wine there....hmmm Really can't wait to see her face once I come back from this cruise having lost another 7lbs

 

[minxie_minx]

I'm at the weight now where people look at me and say "You don't NEED to lose anymore" which is a compliment, but it can get annoying as well, when YOU know yourself you have a way to go! I wrote a whole post about that HERE titled ''But you don't need to lose weight - for anyone else who gets told this".
I learnt the best way to deal with family is not to say HOW much you plan to lose, just say how much you HAVE lost! All my family say I'm looking a lot better though (even though before they were saying I didn't need to lose any weight! Grrr..

 

[Kate_xx]

It can be so frustrating when you've obviously set yourself a target ( I'm assuming most are within a healthy BMI?) and some people act as if you're doing damage to yourself by being healthy!

I carry my weight quite well as proved the other day when I had the old " you don't need to lose anymore" turns out said person thought I was about 9 stone when actually I'm currently at 10.10!
I took this as a compliment but I know I'm still not comfortable and want to get those last 10 pounds gone

 

[AnnaFaraday]

I was talking to someone last night who has been on at me for ages about something (not SW related). It is getting really boring. So I just said "yes, you are probably right".

She was triumphant because she thought she had won; I was delighted because she finally shut up about it; everyone else was pleased we could now get on with talking about something else for a change. So everyone was happy - although in fact nothing has changed at all.

This might work with the "you don't need to lose any more weight" brigade. Just say "you are probably right" - and carry right on doing what you want to do!

 

[gazter]

I was talking to someone last night who has been on at me for ages about something (not SW related). It is getting really boring. So I just said "yes, you are probably right".

She was triumphant because she thought she had won; I was delighted because she finally shut up about it; everyone else was pleased we could now get on with talking about something else for a change. So everyone was happy - although in fact nothing has changed at all.

This might work with the "you don't need to lose any more weight" brigade. Just say "you are probably right" - and carry right on doing what you want to do!

I do tell people i am just maintaining (which, i actually am!), but I have been doing that from when i dropped under fifteen stone (30 bmi). It got tiresome, but it wasnt from spite, by most people, but genuine concern.

As I have said earlier on, remember we are not always the best judges of our own weight. Our mind plays tricks on us. If we have lost a lot of weight our mind sees something different to what is real.

Keep an eye on your numbers. While I'm not a big fan of the boundaries drawn by BMI, it is a useful tool to determine whereabout you are in your weight.

Weightloss can become like a drug, especially if you are focused. My own completely unscientific, unproven BMI guides would be....

Unless you are naturally very very slim, and you achieve that by eating regular, you should not be dropping under 22/23 on bmi scale. 19, the bottom end of healthy is way way too low, except if that is your natural body weight. The healthy range would nudge up towards 27 at the top end.

My own feelings are that anyone between 22 and 27 should feel entirely comfortable and healthy with what they are. If you are at 22 and wanting to lose more, I believe you need to think about what it is you wish to achieve. If you are 27 and want to get to 24/25, good for you, but remember, you arent fat anymore where you are, and nobody is judging you.

Of course this is all my personal opinion.

 

[Mandlegrot]

I have lost 34lbs and told no one that I go to slimming world...the first person to notice was on the weekend, and I started last October. My OH hasn't mentioned it at all...very strange! Mind I don't really look any different, I wonder if the scales are rigged sometimes !!

 

[Rochelle1]

I'm at the weight now where people look at me and say "You don't NEED to lose anymore" which is a compliment, but it can get annoying as well, when YOU know yourself you have a way to go! I wrote a whole post about that HERE titled ''But you don't need to lose weight - for anyone else who gets told this".
I learnt the best way to deal with family is not to say HOW much you plan to lose, just say how much you HAVE lost! All my family say I'm looking a lot better though (even though before they were saying I didn't need to lose any weight! Grrr..

I am getting this now, and it's annoying me to the point where I've felt forced to tell people how much I weigh. Which I never thought I would do! But people telling me to stop now when my BMI is just hit 30 is not something I want to hear! I just want to be left alone until I reach the high end of the BMI scale for my height. X

 

[gazter]

I have lost 34lbs and told no one that I go to slimming world...the first person to notice was on the weekend, and I started last October. My OH hasn't mentioned it at all...very strange! Mind I don't really look any different, I wonder if the scales are rigged sometimes !!

Im going to tell you with complete confidence of its truth. Almost everyone you know has noticed. You have lost 15% of your body weight. A lot of people wont mention weight loss either because of their own jealousies, or even that they think you might be ill.

Sometimes it is true our nearest and dearest dont notice, but thats because they see you day in and out, and they are used to seeing you in a particular way.

 

[natcat]

I have lost 34lbs and told no one that I go to slimming world...the first person to notice was on the weekend, and I started last October. My OH hasn't mentioned it at all...very strange! Mind I don't really look any different, I wonder if the scales are rigged sometimes !!

Good for yoy honey. And it's true, every one will have noticed the changed, but just dont to say anything. Because if they do, they are admitting that they thought you were over weight before. Especially if you've not mentioned you're doung SW to anyway, they wont know why or how you're losing.

Be proud of what you've achieved xx

 

[Mandlegrot]

Thank you x I should be more positive but its hard sometimes as I can't see a difference either. My clothes still fit me (I never wore 'fitted' clothes so its all stretchy) , thr one pair of trousers I own still fit exactly thr same? My breasts are the same size? I'm super confused and sometimes wonder where this 34lbs was hiding as I can't see any difference at all. Maybe I will in another stone or two...then again I've always hit my weight away and have hated my body since young so I guess I'm just a very critical person. Fingers crossed eh how long did it take all if you to really feel different? And did it improve your confidence? X

 

[Mandlegrot]

I always thought that not mentioning it would allow people to notice without them feeling they should as I'm on a diet if you know what I mean? When I notice people lose weight I always say, maybe its a bit rude!!! But I think its nice to be noticed sometimes

 

[natcat]

Thank you x I should be more positive but its hard sometimes as I can't see a difference either. My clothes still fit me (I never wore 'fitted' clothes so its all stretchy) , thr one pair of trousers I own still fit exactly thr same? My breasts are the same size? I'm super confused and sometimes wonder where this 34lbs was hiding as I can't see any difference at all. Maybe I will in another stone or two...then again I've always hit my weight away and have hated my body since young so I guess I'm just a very critical person. Fingers crossed eh how long did it take all if you to really feel different? And did it improve your confidence? X

I have only lost a stone, so nothing compared to you and some others on here. And I used to think that I hadn't changed at all, all my clothes still fit as you said. But try taking a new photo of your self, and side by side it with one from before you started. I did and I couldn't believe the difference - and that's when I felt more confident. I still have 2 stone to go to target, but the picture reminds me how far I have actually come x

 

[flabtofit]

Thank you x I should be more positive but its hard sometimes as I can't see a difference either. My clothes still fit me (I never wore 'fitted' clothes so its all stretchy) , thr one pair of trousers I own still fit exactly thr same? My breasts are the same size? I'm super confused and sometimes wonder where this 34lbs was hiding as I can't see any difference at all. Maybe I will in another stone or two...then again I've always hit my weight away and have hated my body since young so I guess I'm just a very critical person. Fingers crossed eh how long did it take all if you to really feel different? And did it improve your confidence? X

We're our own worst enemies. We've always perceived ourselves as fat/overweight. And even though we loss weight, it takes a long time for our mindset to catch up.
It took me losing about 4st before I started to think differently about myself. I'm now starting to accept and almost like what I see in the mirror.
You will get there, your mind is just catching up.

As everyone else has said, people most definitely have noticed you've lost weight but diets are still sometimes stigmatised in society and are rarely discusses openly unless with our most trusted friends.

Well done on your loss. You should be so proud, it's not an easy thing to do x

 

[Mandlegrot]

Ill have to dig out some old pics. I found some pics if me before the weight piled on again and I can't believe how thin I was. But even then I thought I was fat!! Now 6 stone later (-34lbs haha) it shocks me how its crept on like it did before. I accidentally lost 5st last time as I got dengue fever and I wish that I'd worked hard on maintaining it but when I got better I just ate rubbish again. I guess this is the first real conscious effort I've ever made to lose weight, despite being overweight most my life I never made an effort to do it. Like you both said it will take a while to catch up in my mind. I think I will start noticing it when my clothes don't fit - and considering I live in stretchy leggings that will be awhile yet!!

Strange though, I tried a pair of leggings on thr other day and I used to be able to just squeeze into them - truer them on on the weekend and they don't fit at all? 34lvs lighter and no improvement, think my ass will just stay massive while everything else shrinks lolol