If at first you don't succeed try, try, try and try again....

Hi All, slowly getting back in control of food. At the moment, I am finding it easy at work, but when I get home I am really hungry! Have been having an extra snack as well as dinner. But, it's still less than what I was eating.

I'm not sure how often I am going to be on here for the next few weeks, probably even less than I am at the moment. Had a phonecall from my Mum yesterday to tell me my Dad has died. I hadn't seen him for a long time, he and my Mum divorced years ago. But it has knocked me sideways. So, will be sorting everything out and trying to not fall totally off the wagon again.....
 
Right, I'm back...........Again!!

Things have been difficult the last few months. I'm pretty much back to my starting weight :( I'm now noticing the difference that all the weight I had lost had on me. I didn't get puffed out as easily, I could fit into a size 16, my body didn't ache as much and I had more energy! I was also more confident in myself. All that has gone again. Writing down is harder than I thought, and is making me a bit tearful, as this is the first time I have actually stopped to think about it.

I am going to start by writing everything down again, and go from there. I need to work out what the best way forward is for me. I may potentially try SW again, but I got fed up with it last time. Honestly though, I'm feeling very lost. But I need to do something, as I need to get back to where I was and feel better about myself, as at the moment I am in self-destruct mode!
 
Oh El don't beat yourself up hun, we're all here because of that sabotage mode thing - I'm a world expert! :oops:

The main thing is, you're back and you're figuring out the best way to get the weight off. I tried low carb for a month but am starting back on SW tomorrow because I just can't say no to carbs and in 2 days have piled weight back on.

Whatever you decide, we're here for you sweetie xx
 
Thank you lovely ladies! I've missed you! But I have been popping in to keep up.

It's ok T_T, I had leftover Dominos pizza for breakfast!!

I have a plan forming. I always use food and wine to reward myself! I know some people use marbles to represent a 1lb. I am going to change it slightly, and instead of weight, a marble is going to represent a good day! If one marble = 50p that is £3.50 a week, and then if I can avoid a bottle of wine, that is £5 worth of marbles for the jar. Then at the end of the month I can buy a non-food/wine treat, or save it to go towards my next tattoo or something. It's only the start of a plan, but it's something.
 
Oh I have wine too!! Lots of it! Once it's all gone I'm going alcohol free for a few weeks, probably until Christmas. I'll be watching the rugby as well, I'm looking forward to it. And my parents are coming round later, they have been on holiday and fly back into the air port near me, so they're popping in before driving home to Bath.
 
Hey. Nice to be another returned. I think all of us here have done that. And we all eat when good things happen. As a reward or celebration. We eat when things go bad to make ourselves feel better. I think this is the most important thing. Trying to get out of this.

I've said it somewhere else but I have a bag with bottles of water in that weigh the same as I have lost. When I want for I pick it up and prove to myself what I have lost and what I was carrying around. All too easily those lbs turn into just number but I find if I put it in a bag it works. I did it before when o lost 4 stone.

We are all here for you. Keep going. X
 
I have made a start on my new journey today. I've weighed in for the first time since, probably, August! I have got myself back to 16st 4lbs! So not quite back to where I was, but still a bit too close for comfort! My Fitness Pal is getting used again, and I will be logging my food every day. I'm going to take things a day at a time, and try not to get too caught up in it, and end up putting too much pressure on myself.

I love the water bottle idea!! It's all to easy for the numbers to become meaningless. When I used to go to a Slimming World group, the consultant had sand bags of varying weights, but the bottles is something that can easily be done at home.
 
How has today been? I agree with focusing on a day at a time. I am very quick to feel disappointed because I haven't got to a goal rather than celebrating the good days. X
 
Today has been better, compared to the last few months anyway. Jam on toast for breakfast, Covent Garden chicken soup for lunch, and steak, homemade chips, mushrooms, tomatoes and onion rings for dinner. Also, couldn't let the rest of my wine go to waste! Not a perfect day, but a step in the right direction :)
 
Hello! Day 3 of posting on here again! So that is progress. I need to use this place properly again. And not be afraid to write the bad down as well as the good.

A kind of good day today, although I didn't have time for breakfast! So first thing I ate was a ham salad sandwich at lunchtime, also had a hot chocolate, both were from the restaurant at work. Dinner was a chicken casserole with lots of veg, and mash potato, though I did have a bit too much cheese on it. I succeeded in not buying any wine in the shop today, but the little tub of profiteroles sucked me in and I bought them, they're now all gone! But, that is still less calories than if I bought a bottle of wine, so I'm counting it as a victory.

So, good day! tomorrow should be good too. I have got things for lunch, so I won't be tempted to go over to the restaurant. I usually get a large latte if I do go out to buy lunch. Tomorrow will be sweet chilli chicken, tomatoes, and a tub of fruit in juice. I will have a packet of cashew nuts to snack on. No idea what's for dinner, as going to my Mum's.
 
Hey El, welcome back :) Very sensible taking things one day at a time & you're doing great so far - especially with the wine resistance!

Hope you had a nice meal at your mums.
 
Feeling low today. We had to go and swear the oath for the probate for my Dad today, and it's brought all my emotions to the surface. Somehow I've not stuffed my face. I have had an egg mayo sandwich, steak slice and veg samosa from Tesco, and a salted caramel cappuccino, but that's it. Not feeling hungry to be honest. I was going to have beef stew and mash, but I think it will just go in the freezer for another day. Going to have the last few squares of a fruit and nut dairy milk I bought last week, and drink a peppermint tea. Then give myself a talking to, and try and pull myself together!
 
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