It's Now Or Never
- Thread starter Pinkie1973
- Start date
Pinkie1973
Starting over again......
Well despite my referring to them as bee stings, my sister assures me they are still huge. I'll give it another half stone or so then get measured again.
Pinkie1973
Starting over again......
Food today:
Breakfast:
Mixed fruit, branflakes (HEb), shape zero yoghurt.
Snack:
2 satsumas, 2 apples, some strawberries, dairy milk Choc bar (5 syns)
Lunch:
Salad - lettuce, tomatoes, cucumber, beetroot, mixed pulses, 2 x tbspn of humous (5 syns)
However, I don't have my tea planned! I think I might try a risotto, but I'm low on veg, and have no cash, so will have to go out of way on way home and buy some mushrooms and peppers. Other than that I have some frozen fish and prawns, do can make a seafood risotto. Maybe grate some cheese for HEa on top. Have to be cheddar though, I haven't got any parmesan. Thoughts?
Breakfast:
Mixed fruit, branflakes (HEb), shape zero yoghurt.
Snack:
2 satsumas, 2 apples, some strawberries, dairy milk Choc bar (5 syns)
Lunch:
Salad - lettuce, tomatoes, cucumber, beetroot, mixed pulses, 2 x tbspn of humous (5 syns)
However, I don't have my tea planned! I think I might try a risotto, but I'm low on veg, and have no cash, so will have to go out of way on way home and buy some mushrooms and peppers. Other than that I have some frozen fish and prawns, do can make a seafood risotto. Maybe grate some cheese for HEa on top. Have to be cheddar though, I haven't got any parmesan. Thoughts?
LittleSausage
is not so little
Seafood risotto sounds delicious! And cheddar in a risotto is a winner 
Pinkie1973
Starting over again......
Ok ran out of arborio rice, so went for the sling it all in approach. Got curry powder in there too, wish it would hurry up and cook, that's Wholegrain rice for you.
Pinkie1973
Starting over again......
It is! *chomp gnosh chomp*
Pinkie1973
Starting over again......
Food for today:
Breakfast:
Mixed fruit, branflakes (HEb), shape zero. Liquorice and mint tea.
Snack:
2 apples and a banana.
Lunch:
Leftover seafood rice from yesterday plus a whole bag of salad leaves.
A caramel bunny (5 syns).
Snack:
2 apples
Dinner:
Mixed chicken and lamb shish kebab with lots of salad and a pitta bread (7 syns)
Will have a small piece of cheese and a cuppa to use up HEa.
Total 12 syns.
Up early for run in the morning. Then need to get shopping done, am NOT on call, Hurrah! Freedom! So want to go somewhere nice for the day. Maybe into London and do the watercolour exhib at the Tate.
Been really fed up again over past few days. I hate star week, its so bloody crap (no pun intended). Hopefully a nice productive day tomorrow will perk me up. Also have lots of ironing and gardening/painting that needs doing too!
Ah well, have a lovely weekend all xx
Breakfast:
Mixed fruit, branflakes (HEb), shape zero. Liquorice and mint tea.
Snack:
2 apples and a banana.
Lunch:
Leftover seafood rice from yesterday plus a whole bag of salad leaves.
A caramel bunny (5 syns).
Snack:
2 apples
Dinner:
Mixed chicken and lamb shish kebab with lots of salad and a pitta bread (7 syns)
Will have a small piece of cheese and a cuppa to use up HEa.
Total 12 syns.
Up early for run in the morning. Then need to get shopping done, am NOT on call, Hurrah! Freedom! So want to go somewhere nice for the day. Maybe into London and do the watercolour exhib at the Tate.
Been really fed up again over past few days. I hate star week, its so bloody crap (no pun intended). Hopefully a nice productive day tomorrow will perk me up. Also have lots of ironing and gardening/painting that needs doing too!
Ah well, have a lovely weekend all xx
gl12282
Plodding on.......
I did wonder how you had managed to count 200g as 10 syns. In my dreams...........!
I often feel like that. I also know that I definitely eat too fast. When I eat slowly (because I'm doing something else at the same time) or pause mid meal, I find that I'm actually pretty full long before I expect to be.
I have quite big boobs too. I have definitely lost quite a lot of boobage but I think I'm a bit more in proportion now (???). My back size has gone down significantly but my cup size has only gone up 1 (42E to 34F) so they've definitely got smaller (and even more droopy
) but in a good bra are fine. Good luck for your run tomorrow. You are doing brilliantly. I must take a leaf out of your book.............! Have a lovely weekend.
Gail x
Pinkie1973
Starting over again......
Hi Gail, thank you, and its a lovely to hear from you.
I know I've lost about 4 inches around back and chest. But until last week, the cups on my bras were fitting the same. But they are def a bit looser now. Hoping I am now down to an H cup. When I get to a G there are so many more styles I can choose from. Excitement!
Anyway, I did my 25 min run early this morning. Then went straight off and did my food shopping, then popped in to see my sister (its her birthday today). By the time I'd done various bits, I didn't eat my breakfast till 11.00. I'm currently lying in garden in bikini bottoms (would have been completely bare but neighbour has cut back the fuschia bush that saved both our embarrassment) feeling the glorious sunshine on my back. Taking my sister for a drink at three, so will do some gardening around that. So much for my cultured day in town lol I'll catch the exhib one Friday after work.
I know I've lost about 4 inches around back and chest. But until last week, the cups on my bras were fitting the same. But they are def a bit looser now. Hoping I am now down to an H cup. When I get to a G there are so many more styles I can choose from. Excitement!
Anyway, I did my 25 min run early this morning. Then went straight off and did my food shopping, then popped in to see my sister (its her birthday today). By the time I'd done various bits, I didn't eat my breakfast till 11.00. I'm currently lying in garden in bikini bottoms (would have been completely bare but neighbour has cut back the fuschia bush that saved both our embarrassment) feeling the glorious sunshine on my back. Taking my sister for a drink at three, so will do some gardening around that. So much for my cultured day in town lol I'll catch the exhib one Friday after work.
Pinkie1973
Starting over again......
Hmm food today, not so good :-(
Breakfast (11:00ish):
Mixed fruit, branflakes (HEb), natural low fat yoghurt.
Snack:
2 apples
2 large vodkas with slimline tonic (14 syns, anyone?)
Tea:
Seafood risotto on a huge bed of salad topped with grated cheddar (HEa).
Shape zero yoghurt.
Then it went a bit wrong....
16g of Roule cheese (2.5 syns), Geobar (6 syns), Apple
Cross with myself now :-( But I suppose I did do my run, and I walked the long way into town and back (50 mins), and no proper lunch so maybe I'll be ok. I wasn't planning the trip to the pub though, but I just fancied it for a change. I am at my sister's for lunch tomorrow. So will be out of my hands. Planning to go for a cycle with the bairn in the morning however, try and body magic some of it away.
Breakfast (11:00ish):
Mixed fruit, branflakes (HEb), natural low fat yoghurt.
Snack:
2 apples
2 large vodkas with slimline tonic (14 syns, anyone?)
Tea:
Seafood risotto on a huge bed of salad topped with grated cheddar (HEa).
Shape zero yoghurt.
Then it went a bit wrong....
16g of Roule cheese (2.5 syns), Geobar (6 syns), Apple
Cross with myself now :-( But I suppose I did do my run, and I walked the long way into town and back (50 mins), and no proper lunch so maybe I'll be ok. I wasn't planning the trip to the pub though, but I just fancied it for a change. I am at my sister's for lunch tomorrow. So will be out of my hands. Planning to go for a cycle with the bairn in the morning however, try and body magic some of it away.
Pinkie1973
Starting over again......
No the syns were for the vod. Thought I read somewhere that 35ml was 3.5 and assumed that a large vodka would be twice that, a.d then doubled as I had two. I was sat in the sun though and it was lovely - and my sister had cider and a packet of crisps and I didn't nick a single one!
julesm
Slimming World
Sounds like you had a great day Pinkie. That must have been nice to get a bit of sun on the pins.
It depends on what size measures your pub does for the syns. Most pubs in Manchester seem to do 25ml shots so 5 syns for a double. I know because I quite obsessively look at what is going on behind the bar and what size measure they're using. The only problem is when you go to a posh place that does free pouring!
Well done on your run. I noticed that you must have done that at about 8am! Wow! Are you still enjoying it? Is the bairn still coming with you too?
It depends on what size measures your pub does for the syns. Most pubs in Manchester seem to do 25ml shots so 5 syns for a double. I know because I quite obsessively look at what is going on behind the bar and what size measure they're using. The only problem is when you go to a posh place that does free pouring!
Well done on your run. I noticed that you must have done that at about 8am! Wow! Are you still enjoying it? Is the bairn still coming with you too?
Pinkie1973
Starting over again......
Well I asked my bro-in-law about the measures in that pub and was told they were 25ml like everywhere. lol Made me laugh given the debate we had elsewhere about 25 v 35ml.
Anyhoo........
*rant alert * ~ * rant alert *
I feel so completely fed up right now - and have gone off piste again this evening! I know I am doing this partly because I am fed up - I have previous in the depression/comes out in food issues stakes. So I know the warning signs, and know I am heading there right now. So I need to get it out in the open, and I'm gonna write a bit now, because for me, I have to express myself in writing. No one needs to say anything, I am the only who can pull myself out - but maybe just in getting it out and seeing it all staring back at me I will feel better.
I have also had one and a half cigarettes today too - same thing applies as the food.
I think I need to stay away from the alcohol - I was definitely happier without it. I haven't exactly been knocking it back - but I did have about 4 glasses today, albeit small glasses - but I had them anyway. So I think I may abstain with the exception of a) the lads night out I've arranged for July 20th and b) Silverstone. Even a glass of wine, or a vodka shot, uses up so many syns, and it just stresses me! Also, I start to make bad decision re food.
Today they made a really nice lunch and it was all syn free bar a little piece of pitta (and I mean, about a 6th of one). The pudding would have had a few syns, but even then - it was lowish fat - little fruity filo pastries (and she used frylight) with a dollop, about a tablespoon, or creme fraiche. It was really lovely! However, I had 3 roses chocs, and then some popcorn. When I got home I had about half a slice of bread with some cheese and butter. Then I had 7 little Carr's water biscuits with more cheese and butter. And now I feel **** about that.
But behind it all - I have seemed to be feeling quite down lately. To be honest I put it all down to star week approaching - even though I have been trying to ensure I take my usual max dose of evening primrose/starflower oil, which usually sorts me out. I think it may be more than that though. I am so tired all the time lately, I literally go to work, come home, sort the bairn/lunches out and am ready to drop. Even if I'm not that tired, I just feel like I want to go to bed anyway.
I think I'm bored quite frankly. Now I love my son to pieces, so the next part of this rant does not mean I have any desire for him to not be about. But ****ing hell, every night I am sat in by myself and I just see my life wasting away! I can't be arsed with the house half the time, I have ironing piling up again - can't be arsed. Garden needs doing - can't be arsed. Etc etc. I am supposed to be helping out with the bairn's cub scout web site - and haven't touched it for months- so I'm letting them down too. It's feels like I'm rotting away - and I'm drowning in obscurity - and I hate it.
So I try and think of things to pick myself up - like I will do my philosophy course in October, give myself a purpose. And I do love those things- but right now, I can barely read a page of a book before I fall asleep, I seem to have lost the ability to concentrate. I think I probably just need to push myself and re-train my brain. But I feel so down about it all, that I am in that downward spiral.
Hopefully this moan will help give me a little clarity on it all.
And now, well my Nan has been in ill in hospital for the past 4/5 weeks. I haven't seen her and spent time with her anywhere near as much as I should have done - I mean before she was in hospital. And now, there's a real chance she isn't going to make it - and I feel **** because I let that all go to waste, and I can never get it back or change it. And it's all my fault - I let life get in the way - and she was always way down the list of priorities. I was lying on the sofa earlier, while the bairn was watchign Top Gear, and I suddenly had this awful panicky feeling that she was just going to die - then my sister called about 5 mins later, saying they'd discovered a lump on her bowel and are going to take her to surgery tomorrow. I am really worried she won't make it - she is so fed up with being in the hospital, and I think she is just giving up. The stupid thing is - in most ways she's absolutely fine! They don't really know what is wrong with her, and just as she's doing OK, she takes a turn for the worse - her kidney's seem to be playing up now - probably all the various drugs. So now, she's alone in that horrid hospital, and I hate the idea of that, but she doesn't want anyone there right now - which is really strange. And the thought of her just going like that with no one is so upsetting. It shouldn't end like that, but I really fear that could be the case. She has always been so independent, it doesn't seem right.
So all in all, I am feeling completely crap - and I am just ticking along with it all - and I'm hoping that writing this down will help kick start me a bit.
I'm gonna stop drinking again - it's probably just psychological, but I don't think it suits me, I think it really does have to be the odd, special occasion.
I'm gonna try and fit in a visit to my Nan tomorrow before I collect my son from school (though apparently the nurses are kicking up over the visiting hours - there are a lot of us one way or the other - 3 children, 11 grandchildren, 12 great-grandchildren, before you count anyone else). It's her birthday Thursday, I'd arranged to homework that day, partly so I could go see her, and take her a nice cake (Konditor and Cook!)
I'm gonna set myself an activity I must do each day - regardless of work and looking after my son. Something for me - i.e. read a chapter of my book, do my nails etc - those things have slipped - and I need to get back in the habit of them, then perhaps I'll feel I have more purpose and won't just go to sleep so early.
I'm gonna make the most of my little boy and the rest of my family, make more of an effort.
Sorry all for going on like that - but for my own sanity I think I needed to get it down. It doesn't always help that I feel life is one huge battle that I have to undertake alone. I know I have my family, but sometimes it just all feels so hard, and I do feel alone - and worry about everything too much.
Anyway, I shall now try and cheer myself up - I think I may need to turn in fairly soon, well by 10, as I want to be up bright and early - tomorrow is a new day and all that!
Anyhoo........
*rant alert * ~ * rant alert *
I feel so completely fed up right now - and have gone off piste again this evening! I know I am doing this partly because I am fed up - I have previous in the depression/comes out in food issues stakes. So I know the warning signs, and know I am heading there right now. So I need to get it out in the open, and I'm gonna write a bit now, because for me, I have to express myself in writing. No one needs to say anything, I am the only who can pull myself out - but maybe just in getting it out and seeing it all staring back at me I will feel better.
I have also had one and a half cigarettes today too - same thing applies as the food.
I think I need to stay away from the alcohol - I was definitely happier without it. I haven't exactly been knocking it back - but I did have about 4 glasses today, albeit small glasses - but I had them anyway. So I think I may abstain with the exception of a) the lads night out I've arranged for July 20th and b) Silverstone. Even a glass of wine, or a vodka shot, uses up so many syns, and it just stresses me! Also, I start to make bad decision re food.
Today they made a really nice lunch and it was all syn free bar a little piece of pitta (and I mean, about a 6th of one). The pudding would have had a few syns, but even then - it was lowish fat - little fruity filo pastries (and she used frylight) with a dollop, about a tablespoon, or creme fraiche. It was really lovely! However, I had 3 roses chocs, and then some popcorn. When I got home I had about half a slice of bread with some cheese and butter. Then I had 7 little Carr's water biscuits with more cheese and butter. And now I feel **** about that.
But behind it all - I have seemed to be feeling quite down lately. To be honest I put it all down to star week approaching - even though I have been trying to ensure I take my usual max dose of evening primrose/starflower oil, which usually sorts me out. I think it may be more than that though. I am so tired all the time lately, I literally go to work, come home, sort the bairn/lunches out and am ready to drop. Even if I'm not that tired, I just feel like I want to go to bed anyway.
I think I'm bored quite frankly. Now I love my son to pieces, so the next part of this rant does not mean I have any desire for him to not be about. But ****ing hell, every night I am sat in by myself and I just see my life wasting away! I can't be arsed with the house half the time, I have ironing piling up again - can't be arsed. Garden needs doing - can't be arsed. Etc etc. I am supposed to be helping out with the bairn's cub scout web site - and haven't touched it for months- so I'm letting them down too. It's feels like I'm rotting away - and I'm drowning in obscurity - and I hate it.
So I try and think of things to pick myself up - like I will do my philosophy course in October, give myself a purpose. And I do love those things- but right now, I can barely read a page of a book before I fall asleep, I seem to have lost the ability to concentrate. I think I probably just need to push myself and re-train my brain. But I feel so down about it all, that I am in that downward spiral.
Hopefully this moan will help give me a little clarity on it all.
And now, well my Nan has been in ill in hospital for the past 4/5 weeks. I haven't seen her and spent time with her anywhere near as much as I should have done - I mean before she was in hospital. And now, there's a real chance she isn't going to make it - and I feel **** because I let that all go to waste, and I can never get it back or change it. And it's all my fault - I let life get in the way - and she was always way down the list of priorities. I was lying on the sofa earlier, while the bairn was watchign Top Gear, and I suddenly had this awful panicky feeling that she was just going to die - then my sister called about 5 mins later, saying they'd discovered a lump on her bowel and are going to take her to surgery tomorrow. I am really worried she won't make it - she is so fed up with being in the hospital, and I think she is just giving up. The stupid thing is - in most ways she's absolutely fine! They don't really know what is wrong with her, and just as she's doing OK, she takes a turn for the worse - her kidney's seem to be playing up now - probably all the various drugs. So now, she's alone in that horrid hospital, and I hate the idea of that, but she doesn't want anyone there right now - which is really strange. And the thought of her just going like that with no one is so upsetting. It shouldn't end like that, but I really fear that could be the case. She has always been so independent, it doesn't seem right.
So all in all, I am feeling completely crap - and I am just ticking along with it all - and I'm hoping that writing this down will help kick start me a bit.
I'm gonna stop drinking again - it's probably just psychological, but I don't think it suits me, I think it really does have to be the odd, special occasion.
I'm gonna try and fit in a visit to my Nan tomorrow before I collect my son from school (though apparently the nurses are kicking up over the visiting hours - there are a lot of us one way or the other - 3 children, 11 grandchildren, 12 great-grandchildren, before you count anyone else). It's her birthday Thursday, I'd arranged to homework that day, partly so I could go see her, and take her a nice cake (Konditor and Cook!)
I'm gonna set myself an activity I must do each day - regardless of work and looking after my son. Something for me - i.e. read a chapter of my book, do my nails etc - those things have slipped - and I need to get back in the habit of them, then perhaps I'll feel I have more purpose and won't just go to sleep so early.
I'm gonna make the most of my little boy and the rest of my family, make more of an effort.
Sorry all for going on like that - but for my own sanity I think I needed to get it down. It doesn't always help that I feel life is one huge battle that I have to undertake alone. I know I have my family, but sometimes it just all feels so hard, and I do feel alone - and worry about everything too much.
Anyway, I shall now try and cheer myself up - I think I may need to turn in fairly soon, well by 10, as I want to be up bright and early - tomorrow is a new day and all that!
Maverick
Gold Member
Wow, u really are having a tough time... Much hugs xx
If u find it therapeutic then keep on writing, u know well I write every detail of my boring life just to get it out!
It does seem like u have been working a lot more than usual, are u doing more hours just now or a heavy workload that's weighing on ur mind??
Aside from that tho, have you had a quiet weekend at home recently?? I know u like to do things with the bairn etc but maybe u need a time out for yourself. As for sitting at home feeling like ur life is wasting away, I think we all go thru stages of that. It sometimes feels like there is no end goal, but u do still have things u want to achieve, unfortunately day to day living slows down getting there but you will, we all will.
And just remember in a few years u will be desperate to spend time with the bairn cos once he's a teenager u might be ditched for a younger girl!!
I know I'm blithering rubbish but it made sense in my head!! xxx
If u find it therapeutic then keep on writing, u know well I write every detail of my boring life just to get it out!
It does seem like u have been working a lot more than usual, are u doing more hours just now or a heavy workload that's weighing on ur mind??
Aside from that tho, have you had a quiet weekend at home recently?? I know u like to do things with the bairn etc but maybe u need a time out for yourself. As for sitting at home feeling like ur life is wasting away, I think we all go thru stages of that. It sometimes feels like there is no end goal, but u do still have things u want to achieve, unfortunately day to day living slows down getting there but you will, we all will.
And just remember in a few years u will be desperate to spend time with the bairn cos once he's a teenager u might be ditched for a younger girl!!
I know I'm blithering rubbish but it made sense in my head!! xxx
julesm
Slimming World
I think that's really good advice Maverick. Pinkie, I'm sorry about how you're feeling at the moment. There's nothing worse than that feeling that there aren't enough hours in the day and that all there is time for is work and "responsibilities". It's good though that you have special occasions to look forward to. I think it's a great idea if you write down how you feel and just knowing someone is listening is sometimes a real help. Hope you don't feel too bad for long and that it is just star week. You're a really great gal and so funny, wise and interesting, you always make me feel happy when I read your witty posts! Xxxx
gl12282
Plodding on.......
I think it's a great idea to write it down. It helps to get some clarity over what you want and how you feel and it can help to be able to reread things when you feel a bit differently. I agree that some little targets will be helpful but make them achievable. Don't expect to be able to do everything at once. Try to think about one thing at a time and then work on the others when your targets are achieved.
I'm sorry to hear about your Nan. I will be thinking of her. I hope that the surgery goes ok. If you can't make it to visit, you could always give her a call so that she knows you are thinking of her ? I'm sure she would appreciate that.
Big hugs Pinkie.
Gail xx
P.S. For Maverick and Lil'Sausage who I know read your diary, I'm sorry for not being on your threads for a while. I am planning to get back there but I couldn't keep up with everyone's while work was so busy. (nothing personal !) I've managed to pick back up Jules thread now so I will be there soon.
I'm sorry to hear about your Nan. I will be thinking of her. I hope that the surgery goes ok. If you can't make it to visit, you could always give her a call so that she knows you are thinking of her ? I'm sure she would appreciate that.
Big hugs Pinkie.
Gail xx
P.S. For Maverick and Lil'Sausage who I know read your diary, I'm sorry for not being on your threads for a while. I am planning to get back there but I couldn't keep up with everyone's while work was so busy. (nothing personal !) I've managed to pick back up Jules thread now so I will be there soon.
