Pinkie1973
Starting over again......
Right I seriously need to get my arse in gear. I am really cross with myself as I am still not back in the SW swing after my crazy August, and now I am just downright fed up.
It could be worse, I am currently 4lbs over my lightest weight, back at the end of July. Which really is nothing. It's more that it's been going on a little bit, coming off a little bit, straight back on etc etc etc I just can't string two decent weeks together.
I've been writing in my diary at home a lot - though much of that is around personal thoughts etc with other issues. I think that is very important for me - I haven't done it the past couple of nights, and the past couple of nights I've started grazing again - which basically means this week will no doubt be my third gain in a row. Possibly I can turn it around (going in my favour is totm) - but it feels quite unlikely. We will see.
So I'm trying to remember all the good, positive things I was doing before, when I did have my mojo. I am getting the bairn to pick out a recipe each week, something new to maintain variety and interest. I am going to come back and write my food down on here each day - part of my trouble is that it is all so manic at the moment and I find it difficult writing down on my phone. However, I am going to make a point of doing it. Maybe set aside 1/2 hour of time where I do turn on the PC and chill out before going to bed.
I have been pretty good with my exercise - though circumstances have meant I've only run once this week. I am kitted up now though and intend to run whilst Beanie is at athletics. A silly thing, but psychologically - I feel like I always put on on the weeks where I haven't run on the morning of weigh in. Work keeps getting in the way. I have got to try and stop it, I work part time on a Monday and Friday - a half day, so I am entitled to go for a run then come back and do the half day afterwards. Once I get in, I rarely get out again. In terms of exercise I also want to do more than just the running. I used to love my swimming, I can't afford to go often, but maybe once a week, on a Sunday morning when the bairn is at his Dad's. Ideally I'd like to cycle down - but that is weather dependent. I'm not confident cycling on the roads in bad weather. But I do have one or two exercise videos, so I should really try and do those even if just once a week, to get a bit more variety.
Something I have also noticed is that when I set myself big targets I always fail. So I am not going to do that any longer. I am going to focus on 1/2 stone at a time. I currently weigh in at 13st 9.5lbs, so my first target is to get past 13st 7lbs. It would be wonderful if I could achieve that on Monday but as I said before I really don't think it's likely.
There is no way I am going to come back from whence I came, I was so miserable then - and I know just two weeks of decent healthy living, then I will be back on it again and life will be rosy. What worries me is how easily I crumbled. I have been sticking to the diet a lot really - evenings have been sticky for me though. I have been exercising. I am getting used to the way my body craves certain foods after runs and trying to play around with that. E.g. I often find that the day of a run my appetite is surpressed, but the next day I am ravenous and likely to fail the diet. So I have tried upping my food (SW friendly of course) on the run day, and last time I did that with a long run, it worked really well. I'm still playing around with ideas there though.
I think it's worth also looking at how far I've come this year:
* I've lost nearly three and a half stone.
* I'm a size 16 in most things now.
* I can now run 10k - I never would have thought that possible.
* I'm a hell of a lot happier.
I am about to have brekkie, go to atheletics (run for me), home for lunch, Brands Hatch for the afternoon (BSB Yay!), then I'm going to come home, have a nice SW friendly dinner, do some of my OU course and write my food up for the day. I am determined that today will be a good day, and I will look back on it with a smile rather than a frown.
It could be worse, I am currently 4lbs over my lightest weight, back at the end of July. Which really is nothing. It's more that it's been going on a little bit, coming off a little bit, straight back on etc etc etc I just can't string two decent weeks together.
I've been writing in my diary at home a lot - though much of that is around personal thoughts etc with other issues. I think that is very important for me - I haven't done it the past couple of nights, and the past couple of nights I've started grazing again - which basically means this week will no doubt be my third gain in a row. Possibly I can turn it around (going in my favour is totm) - but it feels quite unlikely. We will see.
So I'm trying to remember all the good, positive things I was doing before, when I did have my mojo. I am getting the bairn to pick out a recipe each week, something new to maintain variety and interest. I am going to come back and write my food down on here each day - part of my trouble is that it is all so manic at the moment and I find it difficult writing down on my phone. However, I am going to make a point of doing it. Maybe set aside 1/2 hour of time where I do turn on the PC and chill out before going to bed.
I have been pretty good with my exercise - though circumstances have meant I've only run once this week. I am kitted up now though and intend to run whilst Beanie is at athletics. A silly thing, but psychologically - I feel like I always put on on the weeks where I haven't run on the morning of weigh in. Work keeps getting in the way. I have got to try and stop it, I work part time on a Monday and Friday - a half day, so I am entitled to go for a run then come back and do the half day afterwards. Once I get in, I rarely get out again. In terms of exercise I also want to do more than just the running. I used to love my swimming, I can't afford to go often, but maybe once a week, on a Sunday morning when the bairn is at his Dad's. Ideally I'd like to cycle down - but that is weather dependent. I'm not confident cycling on the roads in bad weather. But I do have one or two exercise videos, so I should really try and do those even if just once a week, to get a bit more variety.
Something I have also noticed is that when I set myself big targets I always fail. So I am not going to do that any longer. I am going to focus on 1/2 stone at a time. I currently weigh in at 13st 9.5lbs, so my first target is to get past 13st 7lbs. It would be wonderful if I could achieve that on Monday but as I said before I really don't think it's likely.
There is no way I am going to come back from whence I came, I was so miserable then - and I know just two weeks of decent healthy living, then I will be back on it again and life will be rosy. What worries me is how easily I crumbled. I have been sticking to the diet a lot really - evenings have been sticky for me though. I have been exercising. I am getting used to the way my body craves certain foods after runs and trying to play around with that. E.g. I often find that the day of a run my appetite is surpressed, but the next day I am ravenous and likely to fail the diet. So I have tried upping my food (SW friendly of course) on the run day, and last time I did that with a long run, it worked really well. I'm still playing around with ideas there though.
I think it's worth also looking at how far I've come this year:
* I've lost nearly three and a half stone.
* I'm a size 16 in most things now.
* I can now run 10k - I never would have thought that possible.
* I'm a hell of a lot happier.
I am about to have brekkie, go to atheletics (run for me), home for lunch, Brands Hatch for the afternoon (BSB Yay!), then I'm going to come home, have a nice SW friendly dinner, do some of my OU course and write my food up for the day. I am determined that today will be a good day, and I will look back on it with a smile rather than a frown.
